Virginity and marriage SISTERS ONLY!

Nostalgia

DEACTIVATED!
Hello dear sisters, I hope you are all well.

I wanted to ask something, does your family have the tradition of checking for blood on the sheet after the first night?

Well, I think maybe this is more common amongst Asians and Arabs, but less of a practice maybe in modern day I am not sure.

I never heard about this until an Iraqi friend told me the family usually the grooms family brings the sheet out and shows every one as a form of showing off I'm not sure. Obviously this scares the sisters that are not virgin and I know not everyone even bleeds during the first night.

[Trigger warning]
Then the worse scenario is the girls that have been raped and molested, basically had no control over what happened to them how scared they have to be especially those that have hid it from their families. In some cultures usually it's the uncles that do this horrible crime, recently so many muslim sisters have come out saying everything from imams, cousins, family friend etc.

It saddens me so much and I wish we could come as a community to help and end the stigma of rape victims. These girls and I am sure even boys need to know they are not alone, and it wasn't their fault.

Also this post is sort of inspired by this:
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/...face-the-facts-asap.73912/page-5#post-1956368

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Basra

Like Donald Trump, I like to be Spanked.
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
Hello dear sisters, I hope you are all well.

I wanted to ask something, does your family have the tradition of checking for blood on the sheet after the first night?

Well, I think maybe this is more common amongst Asians and Arabs, but less of a practice maybe in modern day I am not sure.

I never heard about this until an Iraqi friend told me the family usually the grooms family brings the sheet out and shows every one as a form of showing off I'm not sure. Obviously this scares the sisters that are not virgin and I know not everyone even bleeds during the first night.

[Trigger warning]
Then the worse scenario is the girls that have been raped and molested, basically had no control over what happened to them how scared they have to be especially those that have hid it from their families. In some cultures usually it's the uncles that do this horrible crime, recently so many muslim sisters have come out saying everything from imams, cousins, family friend etc.

It saddens me so much and I wish we could come as a community to help and end the stigma of rape victims. These girls and I am sure even boys need to know they are not alone, and it wasn't their fault.

Also this post is sort of inspired by this:
https://www.somalispot.com/threads/...face-the-facts-asap.73912/page-5#post-1956368

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Walaaal

This topic is too much for me.
 

Nostalgia

DEACTIVATED!
@Basra
Sorry abayoo, I just wanted to know if it was common for Somalis to ask to see the blood since I haven't heard it be done in our family so wanted to know from other sisters.
 

Samaalic Era

QurboExit
VIP
A man has a right to marry a virgin. If a woman is a rape victim and knows the man who wants to marry her wants a virgin, then how can you blame the man when she decieved him?

If a woman is not a virgin, she should marry someone who is open to that.
 

Basra

Like Donald Trump, I like to be Spanked.
Let Them Eat Cake
VIP
A man has a right to marry a virgin. If a woman is a rape victim and knows the man who wants to marry her wants a virgin, then how can you blame the man when she decieved him?

If a woman is not a virgin, she should marry someone who is open to that.

Your second wife does not have to be a virgin ma ha?
 
The first time is going to be painful for the woman not the man. Although the man might feel awkward the woman is scared of the pain and he should be more compassionate towards her because of that. These guys who say "Ohhh the first night i'm going crazy" "she's going to bust it open for me" are just thinking about themselves. And checking for blood is so disgusting and I've only heard other cultures doing that.
 

Nostalgia

DEACTIVATED!
A man has a right to marry a virgin. If a woman is a rape victim and knows the man who wants to marry her wants a virgin, then how can you blame the man when she decieved him?

If a woman is not a virgin, she should marry someone who is open to that.
This is why I didn't want men's opinion on my thread. Have some respect please not only did I post in women's den but also typed with caps SISTERS ONLY.

As a Somali man no one is going to question your virginity so you are privileged, you also most likely could do other things like stay late with friends without your family worrying. And you don't have to worry about gossiping nosey habaryeers.

Like I said women that are not virgin and have even hid it from their families, how is she supposed to tell her husband? In our culture rape victims are shamed, so they never tell anyone instead they live with shame and guilt for something that isn't even their fault.
 

a y a n

bruh
VIP
It all depends on if your family lives in the same area and how religious they are. I’m assuming my family might but I heard that riding bikes might affect that and i used to ride bikes a lot as a kid. Even with that, only 30% of virgins bleed.
 

Samaalic Era

QurboExit
VIP
This is why I didn't want men's opinion on my thread. Have some respect please not only did I post in women's den but also typed with caps SISTERS ONLY.

As a Somali man no one is going to question your virginity so you are privileged, you also most likely could do other things like stay late with friends without your family worrying. And you don't have to worry about gossiping nosey habaryeers.

Like I said women that are not virgin and have even hid it from their families, how is she supposed to tell her husband? In our culture rape victims are shamed, so they never tell anyone instead they live with shame and guilt for something that isn't even their fault.
No one said tell him. You can figure out if the guy wants a virgin or not.
There countless cases of divorces because it was built on lies.

There plenty of guys who don't care about virginity. They should go for them
 
Last time I checked marriage was considered ستر (cover) for the husband and wife. so if the groom or his family are trying to reveal something so private like that just Shows that they have no manners and are extremely shameful. What a disgusting and bila xishood thing to do.
 
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