Brother if your friend married her they would have been together most likely specially if he had her pregnant. I’m telling you if this current new guy doesn’t step up she will move on again.
Somali girls are evil
- Thread starter World
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If that the case why didn't she say she wanted to be marry soon as possible when they met each other instead of draging for 3 years leaving him cold hearted ( i think she never even mention to him about it ) so he can make decision years before to commit it or not so she can ditch him earlier if he said no.
She talking about deen but honestly i think she using deen as excuse for dumping him ( maybe the other guy have some money or something she likes that her ex didn't have). If she wants marriage she need ask her "Husband" i want marriage a soon a possible and her "Husband" needs to agree to it if he doesn't move on to next since if both are togheter many years but not married it haram ( vice versa for men aswell ).
He didn't want to get married but you call HER evil? LMAO
If he was or is serious about her, he could have asked his parents or family to support his wedding and relationship until he can afford to do so.
Or he could have asked for her hand in marriage and arranged a halal engagement in the meantime whilst he prepares for the wedding. He didn't do any of this.
Broke students should fast and lower their gaze instead of trying to date or sleep around. Control yourselves and if you insist on haram activities, accept the ramifications.
If he was or is serious about her, he could have asked his parents or family to support his wedding and relationship until he can afford to do so.
Or he could have asked for her hand in marriage and arranged a halal engagement in the meantime whilst he prepares for the wedding. He didn't do any of this.
Broke students should fast and lower their gaze instead of trying to date or sleep around. Control yourselves and if you insist on haram activities, accept the ramifications.
He did the right thing talking to the girl for 3 years. He saved himself from a possible divorce. If he married her after the first year, they would have divorced anyway. She's not loyal. Somalis should follow the cadaan model and be a couple for 2-5 years before tying the knot so you can get to know them well.
He could have asked for her hand in marriage and scraped together some money for a modest wedding. Instead he is crying to his friends; calling HER evil for not waiting around for a pie in the sky.
KobeBryant
VIP
High rates of divorce in Somali community because they marry after 1-6 months of talking. The women on this thread are being unrealistic if they think this guys gonna marry her at 20 kid doesn’t even understand credit or have a career.
My friend is on Muzmatch and showed me the amount of divorced women in their 20s and 30s from the community on the app. There's a divorced tag you can include. I was shocked. I didn't know it was that common. No doubt they all got married within a few months knowing almost nothing about their partners. Now imagine the many others that exist that are not on the app. Gaalo are correct to be high school/college/university sweethearts and then marrying years later.
Young marriages often have higher divorce rates. But long courtships are wasteful and would not work for the religiously inclined. After some point in time you are merely coasting. I do not agree with 6 months unless you are much older. A minimum of 4 seasons is what people need to get a general sense. Two years is a maximum. It's best to avoid dating in your younger years. Devote yourself to your goals then marry when you are in that frame of mind with purposefulness and intention (going for one with a similar lifestyle and values).
Thugnificent
Father, lover, scholar, landheer
Tbh you should have your shit together by the age 24/26. Gaal waste their 20s and settle down when they're in their early 30s.we shouldn't copy that behavior.
The "religious" in the community has the highest divorce rates. I am having a hard time trying to think of any of the non-religious (or "moderate") Somalis I know who got divorced and that is probably because they typically knew their partners longer.
Thugnificent
Father, lover, scholar, landheer
The divorce rate would be way lower if people started getting engaged around 20 and married around 25. I wouldn't recommend having xaram relationships. People can still fake their personality.
Then why talk to girls then? If you're at a stage in which you cannot marry, male or female, don't try to date. Being in relationships for 3years+ is gaal antics btw.
So, its fine if he can't marry her. He's young. My issse is why string her along and why expected loyalty? The audacity. Good she left him and hopefully its someone that is at the marrying stage.
Guess what? People that cohabit have the highest divorce rate. You'd think after living together for a year or more and dating for years would mean they know each other inside and out, yet they still divorce. What you're proposing is incorrect. Getting married within less than a year is perfectly fine, provided that people are mature and not like in their late teens and early 20s with childish expectations and lack of stability.
He should be happy she left, I know bare somali girls who don't wanna get married til they make income, don't generalize it, he just needs to look around.
Lets be real? How do Somalis get married? They do it through talking to the opp gender. It might not be the most Islamic but its not as if she's gonna go for an arranged marriage. For all you know, she's getting to know/date him for marriage and he might have told her he's ready to speak to her fam within a few months.
Like how did you expect her to get married? Obviously, if your boy can't provide what she wants, she's going to speak to another man. That is how people get married. Its got nothing to do with the other guy being better.
All men have is audacity. They want her to waste another 3 years, so overall 6+ and if he decides that she's not the one for him anymore, for whatever reason and she ends up not getting married after 6+ years, the majority of the Abdis here will call her dumb and how she should take accountability as she allowed him to waste her time. Now that she is finally taking accountability, she's 'evil' .
Abdis, i have a question. Why do you lot always shift the goalpost?
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