So, I had more suitors when I was struggling with depression and broke.

[Xoxoxo]

Maybe I was one of your suitors. Men love troublesome women. We like to heal them. Imagine the major flex when people say ‘Hodan was sick before she got married but now she healed’

So you have mommy issues? You couldn’t heal your broken maternal figures in your life so you’re looking for other broken ones to heal them?

 

[Omar del Sur]

With Somalis like my father and grandparents generation, they didn’t care as they saw men as being stronger regardless if they’re shorter or taller. Tall women were simply seen as gorgeous and even a short man would want one.

One that was taller than him? I mean that's interesting if it's true but I believe the general tendency- universally is that men tend to go for women who are shorter than them. Even if there is or was a culture where that was the norm, it wouldn't disprove the general tendency across all cultures.

Also intelligence doesn’t work that way. A man could maybe more street smart and have more common sense, but a woman may be more academically educated.

I don't believe in the theory of multiple intelligences. I think it is PC propaganda basically. I think your intelligence basically is one variable like with how it is in IQ testing. You don't get multiple IQ scores, they give you one score. I don't believe in the "multiple intelligence" thing and I also don't believe there are different types of intelligences which can be categorized as "books smarts," "street smarts". I don't believe in multiple intelligences.

5. Indeed, the house is under the sovereignty of the woman. While she remains therein, she feels that she is sitting upon her throne, and that she is the chief of the house. Stay clear of destroying this kingdom of hers and do not ever attempt to dethrone her, otherwise you will be trying to snatch her sovereignty. A king gets most angry at he who tries to strip him of his authority, even if he portrays to show something else.

I have tremendous respect for Imam Ahmed but I have no idea if he really said this or not. I want to know the Arabic source for this.

You are looking and talking in extremes. If we look in extremes you are right and such a relationship wouldn’t even work as the wife wouldn’t respect him.

Real life isn’t extremes though.

I think there are many cases where one person is markedly more intelligent than the other.

 

[Bundasliga]

Don’t think it’s wise to say that Allah created men and women like this since we know that the Prophet s.a.w married a woman who was richer than him and also, Khadijah was sought by the men of Quraish due to her riches and and tribal lineage. Also, historically men preferred women from wealthy families and well known lineages. We all know the famous Hadith of the Prophet s.a.w in which he said men marry for 4 reasons. Wealth and lineage is one of them. Does that mean that the Prophet s.a.w doesn’t know the nature of man? Of course not. It shows that culture and time plays a role. I’m not denying hypergamy but the idea that men would be put of by a woman’s high status is new one. That wasn’t the case in Quraishi society.

the reason why I say it’s insecurity Is because studies show that some men are even intimidated by a woman being very intelligent as well. That isn’t linked to merely success as it is something that many are born with and hone in life. It’s a form of insecurity when you feel the need to be above a woman by every metric in order to feel like a ‘man’. That’s my point, If you get the drift.

There's a difference between high status & higher status .

The situation of the prophet s.a.w can't be applied to any other human ,because all his wives still married up/practiced hypergamy due to him being a prophet & having a higher status than them.


Also it shouldn't concern women that men would feel intimidated by or aren't interested in their
Education & intelligence ,succes,beauty,status or financial status,etc. ,because since they most likely won't date down anyway . So the interest or lack off is mutual.

 

[Angelina]

One that was taller than him? I mean that's interesting if it's true but I believe the general tendency- universally is that men tend to go for women who are shorter than them. Even if there is or was a culture where that was the norm, it wouldn't disprove the general tendency across all cultures.

Most are obviously married to shorter women as men on average are taller. That is facts. However traditionally tall women are seen as beautiful, hence a short man would still try and marry one. I have men in my family married to women who are slightly taller. They don’t care. Also, in my part of Somalia being a short woman with a short neck is seen as unattractive. That is traditionally anyways. Obviously a Western Somali guy doesn’t have those beauty standards.

I don't believe in the theory of multiple intelligences. I think it is PC propaganda basically. I think your intelligent basically is one variable like with how it is in IQ testing. You don't get multiple IQ scores, they give you one score. I don't believe in the "multiple intelligence" thing and I also don't believe there are different types of intelligences which can be categorized as "books smarts," "street smarts". I don't believe in multiple intelligences.

IQ scores aren’t accurate. That is well known. Also, we see it everytime. I know academically gifted people who don’t have leadership skills and they aren’t the best when it comes being street smarts. It’s why some people despite being intelligent and an asset to a company are never able to be in senior roles. They lack the gumption or the ability to do so. I’m sure you’ve seen that in real life as well.

I have tremendous respect for Imam Ahmed but I have no idea if he really said this or not. I want to know the Arabic source for this.

I’ve been seeing this for many years. It also fits in the mould of most relationships. Why would a man who is at work involve himself and dictate to his wife how she should cook and clean? Let people get on with their roles. Any wise person knows this. Would you dictate to your wife as to how she should cut up onions all in the spirit of obedience? Get the drift?

I think there are many cases where one person is markedly more intelligent than the other.

 

[Omar del Sur]

IQ scores aren’t accurate. That is well known.

I wasn't saying I agree one hundred percent with the IQ stuff. But I do think intelligence is one metric. I have nothing to say because we've already went back and forth enough on this thread. I was checking to see if you have an Arabic source for what was attributed to Imam Ahmed. If it's real I hope I come across the Arabic source at some point.

 

[Angelina]

There's a difference between high status & higher status .

The situation of the prophet s.a.w can't be applied to any other human ,because all his wives still married up/practiced hypergamy due to him being a prophet & having a higher status than them.


Also it shouldn't concern women that men would feel intimidated by or aren't interested in their
Education & intelligence ,succes,beauty,status or financial status,etc. ,because since they most likely won't date down anyway . So the interest is mutual.

The prophet s.a.w wasn’t a prophet when he married Khadijah. Sorry that was a highly irrelevant point.

Your last point is a good one. Although the idea that men aren’t interested in education and or intelligence is a redpill myth. It goes against general data. Most successful men are married to women who make less than them- that is true, but their wives are still educated and have projects of their own. Also, most professionals are also married to fellow professionals ect.

 

[Angelina]

I wasn't saying I agree one hundred percent with the IQ stuff. But I do think intelligence is one metric. I have nothing to say because we've already went back and forth enough on this thread. I was checking to see if you have an Arabic source for what was attributed to Imam Ahmed. If it's real I hope I come across the Arabic source at some point.

Heyyy google it yourself. I’ve been seeing it for years. I’m out at the moment and I can’t search for you as I would like.

 

[Abdalla]

So you have mommy issues? You couldn’t heal your broken maternal figures in your life so you’re looking for other broken ones to heal them?

No need to get personal Naayaa. Usually people that have savior complex come from loving and strong household.

 

[Xoxoxo]

No need to get personal Naayaa. Usually people that have savior complex come from loving and strong household.

No, If you like fixing women you must have one hell of a mother figure in your life that was broken, Dw! It just means that you have mommy issues

 

[Angelina]

I wasn't saying I agree one hundred percent with the IQ stuff. But I do think intelligence is one metric. I have nothing to say because we've already went back and forth enough on this thread. I was checking to see if you have an Arabic source for what was attributed to Imam Ahmed. If it's real I hope I come across the Arabic source at some point.

You could be right. I can’t find the Arabic version. Let me check again.

 

[Abdalla]

No, If you like fixing women you must have one hell of a mother figure in your life that was broken, Dw! It just means that you have mommy issues

I think this topic is too personal for you. Don’t bring your real life problems into a light hearted threads.

 

[Xoxoxo]

I think this topic is too personal for you. Don’t bring your real life problems into a light hearted threads.

Speak for yourself I don’t associate with broken goods

 

[Abdalla]

Speak for yourself I don’t associate with broken goods

May Allah heal you. Never seen such an angry 18 year old.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

I feel for Hodan, she came in thinking she might receive good advice, now she’s gonna have to read several dissertations from Angelina and Omar del Sur

 

[Angelina]

I feel for Hodan, she came in thinking she might receive good advice, now she’s gonna have to read several dissertations from Angelina and Omar del Sur

I feel bad for ruining her thread. I’ll be quiet now.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

I feel bad for ruining her thread. I’ll be quiet now.

All in all, I really think she made a great decision not to make a life changing call while in a bad mental space. If she’s had wisdom to do so, I think she’ll be just fine inshallah.

 

[CALMONE20###]

I pray that you find a loving kind husband sis

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

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[__08]

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Thoughts & prayers.

 

[Nak-Muay-Femeu]

I know don't know how old you are but very few men under the age of 30 have their shit together, myself included, and it can be a little daunting when you meet a woman who's got her's together.

Meeting women like you forces guys to go through the grueling process of having to man the f*ck up, or just shrug their shoulders and be like "I'll be ready for this caliber of woman by XYZ date". It's not really a question of intimidation. It's mostly down to the fact that you'd have to do a shit load of personal growth, which let's be honest is a massive ball-ache. We don't really have a biological clock ticking away either, so you can legit afford to be lazy (relationship wise) till our late 30s as long as we're in shape and not ugly

Besides, women have their own thing going on and are making a decent amount of lacag are used to a certain lifestyle and certain standards and that can be too much of a burden to shoulder.