My Dad is over protective and has no respect for me.

[CangeeroBear]

What a pile of horseshit, people go through far worse then this, it's part of the process of becoming a real man

Your father is destroying that entitlement syndrome before it ever takes a stranglehold over you, something which has destroyed an entire generation already that are spewing their toxic on her.

If he believes your stupid that's because you are stupid and this post alone proves his hypthothesis correct, you sound like a privileged highly entitled brat and such people don't deserve an ounce of respect & neither does society respect them

I wouldn't trust you with a kitten nevermind trust you in Japan among 99.99% infidels, your far too weak to survive there with your dhaqan or deen intact, with that mentality you would have likely hanged yourself

In the old days you would be left alone with some camels and a bucket of water in the wilderness in the blazing summer and turn into a man overnight.

The only mistake your father made was to spoil you from an early age, and not adapt to this satanic environment, you needed a year in a geeljire village and a few trips to dirt poor countries and watch kids sleeping on the street to blast that entitlement out of you

A flat Earther giving me advice is an oxymoron.

That said my deen is mine not of my dads.Im probably entitled to an extent and I have been to Somalia 3-4 times and lived there by myself for months.

My mentality arises from my upbringing so you basically contradict yourself.

 

[Jiron]

One day you will look back and instantly feel ashamed that u felt this way. You are young now and don’t really understand how the world works. You believe u are old enough to make ur own decision but ur decision at this age is based on impulse and zero experience. You are not missing out at all and ur so called friends are nothing but associates, however at 18 u can’t tell the difference between the two words but eventually u will.

Believe it or not, ur dad wants the best for u and he may show it in his own way but one thing is guaranteed. He will not be here one day and u will reflect back maybe a decade from now and wonder how he did it.

Believe me, I was in ur shoes once but I understand now a decade later

 

[Inquisitive_]

A flat Earther giving me advice is an oxymoron.

That said my deen is mine not of my dads.Im probably entitled to an extent and I have been to Somalia 3-4 times and lived there by myself for months.

My mentality arises from my upbringing so you basically contradict yourself.

The rockefeller indoctrination runs very deep, very little do you know your worshipping Helios the pagan Roman sun God

Your so stupid they even use his name to describe that fraudulent masonic myth knowing how stupid you are calling it the heliocentric model

 

[CangeeroBear]

The rockefeller indoctrination runs very deep, very little do you know your worshipping Helios the pagan Roman sun God

Your so stupid they even use his name to describe that fraudulent masonic myth knowing how stupid you are calling it the heliocentric model

View attachment 38081
View attachment 38082

The Sun is not the centre of the universe as well, there is no centre of the universe everwhere is the centre as its a 4 dimensional object. furthermore I can literally prove the earth is a sphere by standing at the equator and weighing myself . You weigh less at the equator literally due to the Earths shape, if you release a full blown theory based on mathematical axioms how the earth can be flat whilst all these phenomena occur ill rethink my view.

Finally, the device you are using uses a lot of quantum phenomena.. based on science.

 

[CangeeroBear]

One day you will look back and instantly feel ashamed that u felt this way. You are young now and don’t really understand how the world works. You believe u are old enough to make ur own decision but ur decision at this age is based on impulse and zero experience. You are not missing out at all and ur so called friends are nothing but associates, however at 18 u can’t tell the difference between the two words but eventually u will.

Believe it or not, ur dad wants the best for u and he may show it in his own way but one thing is guaranteed. He will not be here one day and u will reflect back maybe a decade from now and wonder how he did it.

Believe me, I was in ur shoes once but I understand now a decade later

Thank you for the advice, I'm often oblivious to my short comings.

 

[felloff]

Wake up earlier and then you got more time to spend going out, plan things with the acquaintances, hit gym on your ones, join a uni society go on the odd Saturday.

Waking up early is the best thing tbh

 

[Jiron]

Thank you for the advice, I'm often oblivious to my short comings.

18-24 will be the most critical time of ur life, what u do in these prime years will have a huge impact on the rest of ur life. Your pops understands that and wants the best for u.

There are so many people who spent those years partying and having fun but are now depressed wishing they can turn the wheel of time backwards.

I’m sure u got this, u have so much potential bro

 

[BestCaseScenario]

nacalaa kugu yaal, what a neef. Sue your dad kulaha, inkaar kugu dhac duli foqal duli

You sound butt hurt as usual. Be a man enough to have kids first then see what it takes to raise them. An ignoble homosexual like you has no place advising honorable people's kids. Stick to your female circle..

 

[BestCaseScenario]

We don't have such courts here in perth with a small muslim population and even smaller somali population.My father suffers alot so i can understand the spikes of anger , I can understand but cant tolerate it. I plan to leave once I finish university, I feel as if I'm being hindered from my aspirations through discouragements.However I will try to change the household.



No I haven't ever heard him say that, I'm no neef. To be frank I have elders around the area coming to me to congratulate me for being the few Somalis to enter "X" university. I am on a successful path and if my parents fear for me in one of the safest regions of the world than its a saddening hindrance. I don't leave the house as I am not allowed to leave by myself other than to certain places. I also understand what you mean by jealousy, all my mothers friends are single mothers which is weird but just shows you the negative direction people take into raising children.

Perhaps my fathers intention is well meaning , which I'm sure it is, however it still has negative effects on me."Man the f*ck up" for 20 years of my life is what causes suicide attempts and depression within communities. This mentality has caused me to see so many of friends just drink their sorrows away, depression is a and I don't want to go down such a road.

I wrote in a hurry earlier as I waited for someone outside in the car bro. What I meant to say was that you to take him to the court of Islamic opinion( similar phrase to a court of public opinion but in here the Imam/sheekh's opinions)) and get the Imam of the mosque involved. He might listen to them. I noticed that I said in that post most Somali parents have overbearing parents when I meant most Somali kids have overbearing parents.


Also, you need a trip outside of Australia and back home. It will be helpful trip to you and you will gain a new perspective in life.

Don't take it too hard on yourself. You will be a man on his own very soon and your parents have done a great job raising you well going by your character on here,

 

[BestCaseScenario]

Just remember that some don't have a father figure in their lives.

I would have an overbearing stubborn dad over one who is a no show and a bum. Great point brother.

 

[Haggiss]

Sxb the tendency to overprotect kids is typical in somali parents especially if they have high expectations from them.

Consider yourself lucky because not many of us had fathers in our households which made getting through university alot harder. Trust me bro you have it easy with both parents at home handling everything. Take advantage of this.

In the mean time if you want to gain the trust of your parents you can take up more responsibilities ie you can learn how to drive and make your fathers task easier etc etc

 

[Ferrari]

He's doing a great job. You'll appreciate it when you wise up and get older, at 18 you're still a baby.

The alternative is your dad leave you alone to your affairs and give you too much time and that's dangerous because unsupervised somali youths pick up adoon culture and aspire to be rappers and shoot each other, or stab each other if you are from the UK.

Adeer is doing a fantastic job, I wish every somali father was like him.

 

[Hmmmm]

A lot of Somali parents try and force their kids to be something there not, my best advice is follow your dreams go to Japan. If your dad doesn't get it, he is not supportive, you gotta tell him how it is.

 

[CangeeroBear]

A lot of Somali parents try and force their kids to be something there not, my best advice is follow your dreams go to Japan. If your dad doesn't get it, he is not supportive, you gotta tell him how it is.

I will ponder on it , in a month I will approach him about it.

 

[GeelJirito]

@CangeeroBear
It is hard asking Geeljires advice, some so called Muslims attacked you and kaafirs basically said give your father the middle finger.

Be patient with your father. In Islam everyone has rights, unfortunately most of us are ignorant of our own religion. He shouldn't insult you or call you names. We should be merciful with one another, maybe that is how he was brought up and that is how he is raising his kids. Don't disobey him, sabir and make duaa, ask Allah to forgive him, ask Allah to soften his heart and make way for you. Allah rewards those who are patient. Also watch your own treatment towards your siblings, that is on you and not on your father, break they cycle, treat them same way you would like to be treated.
May Allah ease your situation.

 

[CangeeroBear]

@CangeeroBear
It is hard asking Geeljires advice, some so called Muslims attacked you and kaafirs basically said give your father the middle finger.

Be patient with your father. In Islam everyone has rights, unfortunately most of us are ignorant of our own religion. He shouldn't insult you or call you names. We should be merciful with one another, maybe that is how he was brought up and that is how he is raising his kids. Don't disobey him, sabir and make duaa, ask Allah to forgive him, ask Allah to soften his heart and make way for you. Allah rewards those who are patient. Also watch your own treatment towards your siblings, that is on you and not on your father, break they cycle, treat them same way you would like to be treated.
May Allah ease your situation.

I will take the Middle road.I will lean to jjeros advise as his is solid .Furthermore inquisitive is extremely ignorant and arrogant in terms of his world view while the non Muslims are often similar.Somali culture is generally like the experience I mentioned.Patience is the key.

 

[VixR]

To be fair, your father has fulfilled a necessary role as a parent, but to an extreme that tipped the scale towards the negative, and requires addressing. From you.

What you can't stand up for yourself, you're taking out as frustrations onto your siblings.

What you need is calculated defiance in the right direction.

 

[Cambuulo Tonight]

You're already 18 ffs take charge of your own life. Nothing wrong with making a mistake at that age, it helps you grow up and mature.

Don't take shit from anyone, including your old man, otherwise you're going to live with it for the rest of your life.

 

[Nalle]

I don't know where to begin.I thought it was a phase but my father seems to constantly treat me like a child and often "kaftan" with me.I am 18 all throughout my life I thought this type of attitude was normal.

I have never been out with friends of any sort and if I come home from designated locations maybe 20 mins late.I am insulted and called ciyaal suuq.The result is that I have no "close" friends but plenty of odd acquaintances.It seem9s to have a psychological effect on me.

I drift apart from people because of this, after asking people for advice they told me when I finish school I'll be better.1st year uni is not only similar but worse , 100 questions a day and checking my results constantly. 2nd year is starting and he has told me I can't take the scholarship to Japanese top university in terms of physics.Even though it's all expenses paid and a once in a life time experience. I feel pressured to go my own way as I wish to mould myself into someone I feel comfortable with.Not someone who feels like a stranger in my own skin.

Finally I believe this has affected me mentally.often this "kaftan" is in an insulting manner and hence even if I know it's "joking" it has made me subconsciously believe I'm not worth shit. I have told him about this but he ignores me and treats me similiarly.Emotions are often treated as "naag" in Somali culture and it's no different in my household.

I'm expected to be a typical alpha male but it eats at ur insides and I don't think growing up like this was good for me.

I think I will visit a therapist as my university offers free therapy , I just wanted to ask if anyone else suffers from this type of "kaftan".Is it normal to feel like this thx.

What a coincidence, I was having a discussion about almost exactly what you have written on here with my family, my aunt to be exact, two days ago. My aunt and I have a really great relationship, she is my second mom and has been there for me many times, I always go to her when I want advice etc. She is very conservative and strict, which I really really like, my mom, on the other hand, is pretty chill but she gets easily influenced by my aunt. We were having this discussion and she went on how she didn't like me coming home "late" during weekdays, I come home like 8 pm that's not late but according to her it is I should finish my studies by 3 and be at home 4. And then she went on how she didn't like me working nightshifts on weekends, I should work daytime.
I was boiling up when she was telling me all this, but I let her speak, adkar ban akhristay. She went on how I should act like a "lady", and that if I want to move out I should get myself a husband or my whole family will move out with me. I couldn't help but laugh. I wasn't even surprised, she is really controlling I already knew that. My mom is never like this, she doesn't care that much as she is busy with other things, and it is really easy to "manipulate" her, I don't use that to my "advantage" thou, I really love that about my mom. My aunt is the opposite its hard to believe they are siblings.
I had so much anger within me wallahi when I was sitting there and taking all that crap, I just wanted to scream at her, but instead of letting all my emotions out and probably having a third world war at home, I kept asking her different questions about her life, and every question I asked her had a linkage to the things she was telling me "to do".
Never did I ever think I would change my mind and opinion about a person so many times during our hours of conversations. I'm so glad I didn't let my emotions control me, she has been through tough things in her life, and when I looked at it from her point of view I totally understood why she thinks like that. It was out of love and she clearly didn't want me to experience the hardship she has been through.
I told her how I really felt, and that she doesn't have to worry about me and guess what she said, she was like the reason why I don't want you to live alone is; "who will ever know if you get sick or ill as you did two weeks ago"(I was "dying" buuho ~) cuz I never answer my phone, then she was like "you can't cook, if you are going to keep coming home late who will cook for you?" I was laughing my ass off, basically her logic, in a nutshell, was marry someone who can cook for you and that let us know if you ever get sick and that you are still alive, and plz don't have babies. And if I can't find "a protective man" I should at least learn how to cook properly and answer obnoxious phone calls or my whole family will move out with me so they can force feed me There's no actual meaning for me to move out, and I don't have intention of doing it anytime soon. But the annoying me or shaytan maybe just wanted to create dagaal, but we won almadualilaha.

By far one of the best discussion I have ever had with someone, it was an emotional rollercoaster.

My advice to you is, talk with your dad, don't let your emotions control you, but also don't "lose" yourself, explain to your dad how you really feel and try to get him see it from your perspective, and hey a tip should be make him look like the boss, praise him, Lugaha u duug duug, or as we say in swedish, smöra för honom, subag lugaha ugu dhaash madaxana ka dhunko and tell him you'll go out with your friends later after you have finished your studies. And please don't turn into a bad guy. You can break some of the rules at home but be a good kid outside.

 

[CangeeroBear]

What a coincidence, I was having a discussion about almost exactly what you have written on here with my family, my aunt to be exact, two days ago. My aunt and I have a really great relationship, she is my second mom and has been there for me many times, I always go to her when I want advice etc. She is very conservative and strict, which I really really like, my mom, on the other hand, is pretty chill but she gets easily influenced by my aunt. We were having this discussion and she went on how she didn't like me coming home "late" during weekdays, I come home like 8 pm that's not late but according to her it is I should finish my studies by 3 and be at home 4. And then she went on how she didn't like me working nightshifts on weekends, I should work daytime.
I was boiling up when she was telling me all this, but I let her speak, adkar ban akhristay. She went on how I should act like a "lady", and that if I want to move out I should get myself a husband or my whole family will move out with me. I couldn't help but laugh. I wasn't even surprised, she is really controlling I already knew that. My mom is never like this, she doesn't care that much as she is busy with other things, and it is really easy to "manipulate" her, I don't use that to my "advantage" thou, I really love that about my mom. My aunt is the opposite its hard to believe they are siblings.
I had so much anger within me wallahi when I was sitting there and taking all that crap, I just wanted to scream at her, but instead of letting all my emotions out and probably having a third world war at home, I kept asking her different questions about her life, and every question I asked her had a linkage to the things she was telling me "to do".
Never did I ever think I would change my mind and opinion about a person so many times during our hours of conversations. I'm so glad I didn't let my emotions control me, she has been through tough things in her life, and when I looked at it from her point of view I totally understood why she thinks like that. It was out of love and she clearly didn't want me to experience the hardship she has been through.
I told her how I really felt, and that she doesn't have to worry about me and guess what she said, she was like the reason why I don't want you to live alone is; "who will ever know if you get sick or ill as you did two weeks ago"(I was "dying" buuho ~) cuz I never answer my phone, then she was like "you can't cook, if you are going to keep coming home late who will cook for you?" I was laughing my ass off, basically her logic, in a nutshell, was marry someone who can cook for you and that let us know if you ever get sick and that you are still alive, and plz don't have babies. And if I can't find "a protective man" I should at least learn how to cook properly and answer obnoxious phone calls or my whole family will move out with me so they can force feed me There's no actual meaning for me to move out, and I don't have intention of doing it anytime soon. But the annoying me or shaytan maybe just wanted to create dagaal, but we won almadualilaha.

By far one of the best discussion I have ever had with someone, it was an emotional rollercoaster.

My advice to you is, talk with your dad, don't let your emotions control you, but also don't "lose" yourself, explain to your dad how you really feel and try to get him see it from your perspective, and hey a tip should be make him look like the boss, praise him, Lugaha u duug duug, or as we say in swedish, smöra för honom, subag lugaha ugu dhaash madaxana ka dhunko and tell him you'll go out with your friends later after you have finished your studies. And please don't turn into a bad guy. You can break some of the rules at home but be a good kid outside.

I was going to make a flirtatious joke but that would be a serious injustice to such a post.

Thankyou for the advice , my mother used to always talk about how you need to marry a girl to cook for you.I begin making my own food from that day on to prove her wrong ,it hasn't stopped the marriage talks tho.I can see how an independent women hates the thought of relying on a man for the simplest things.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.