I wonder if @Sophisticate would have had doubts about me lol
Ladies, What Would You Do?
- Thread starter Sophisticate
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Sounds like you need therapy , you're afraid of committment
Somalis gave the term "shugle" to men and women who stayed single for a long time. That term stands for "the ones who doubt constantly".
Truth is, after you stay single past the age of 30, you'll find faults of the prospective spouses. And that habit can only be broken if you look over minor things and focus on major ones.
Marriage is beyond courting. So if the guy ticks the main points, I would suggest take your chance with him. Don't forget the fact that he is taking a chance with you as well. What matters is you both can communicate and also look over minor things. Good luck.
Truth is, after you stay single past the age of 30, you'll find faults of the prospective spouses. And that habit can only be broken if you look over minor things and focus on major ones.
Marriage is beyond courting. So if the guy ticks the main points, I would suggest take your chance with him. Don't forget the fact that he is taking a chance with you as well. What matters is you both can communicate and also look over minor things. Good luck.
I would pray istikhara go from there. If he is good for you the process will be easy and smooth. However if your istikhara outcome is no, you will have problems, you will find out some negative things about him and everything will be difficult.So, ladies, you meet a Somali man who could be from your *qabil* that is 30-something, handsome, 6'3, athletic, well-read, highly educated with a 6+ figure income and workaholic tendencies you find indicative of ambition. He appears rather interested in you. However, your intuition tells you something is off. And it hasn't failed you in the past. Would you still let him pursue you or call it quits? You have noticed some early warning signs of possessiveness.
*Spidey senses are tingling*
I have not taken so much as an over-the-counter pharmaceutical in 20 years. Unless, of course, you infer something is wrong with not pursuing the option presented in this 'scenario.'That seems reasonable and fairminded in such a scenario. However, I'm not really of this opinion of a scarcity of opportunities. They do present themselves in various forms. More concerned about actual fit, how a brother acts towards others, his consistency, and emotional stability in addition to shared commonalities. Also, what IIahi has for you will be yours.
Thank you, Ladylike. The brothers think girls should bear it in the interest of snagging what looks like an amazing catch. However, you can't ignore your internal hazard lights or intuition/gut feelings, especially if something seems off-key. Not in a quirky sense, but more like a mismatch between facial expressions and emotions. I feel like we should trust our unconscious mind. When people like someone tend to shut off certain feelings, opting to see the best.
So good luck with the capture.The only way Sophisticated is getting married is to kidnap her to her aroos, do the wedding while she's tied up and take her to her bedroom and lock the room.
Or else shes always going to find excuses to sabotage every relationship
AJ. You are an odey with two kids and a wife. That ship sailed long ago.
I doubt you give off narc vibes.I don't think so. I don't conform to the type of person that would have issues with commitment. Parents together, emotionally available, and no history of trauma. Nothing too monumental. No one ever broke my heart. I'm not even jaded. Try that spiel with someone else.Sounds like you need therapy , you're afraid of committment
Minor warning signs can be major red flags, so I don't entirely ascribe to that. This is not just a matter of a few disagreeable traits or being picky. Rather, I was taught to trust intuition. As the subconscious tells us a lot more than any words ever could.
Great point. I agree with seeking religious/spiritual guidance in such matters. Istikhara would be strongly advised for someone in this predicament.
Fair enough. Sometimes taking your time and don't let anyone rush you can be very helpful to your final decision. You'll need roughly 1 year to know someone and come down to decision on either way. That pretty has been my experience. In this process, things will reveal themselves.
Insha'Allah, it'll be khair at the end.
GuanYu
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What she needs is Quran Akhris, Wa shamsi iyo quluuxiyo inta laguu akhriyo waayoSounds like you need therapy , you're afraid of committment
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Look the person who says they're those thing, sometimes likely aren't BUT let's Bite
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You seem like a really cool and smart young lady. I hope you find your love. I'm certain with the sort of emotional intelligence you have, you won't be easily misguided.
That seems reasonable and fairminded in such a scenario. However, I'm not really of this opinion of a scarcity of opportunities. They do present themselves in various forms. More concerned about actual fit, how a brother acts towards others, his consistency, and emotional stability in addition to shared commonalities. Also, what IIahi has for you will be yours.
Thank you, Ladylike. The brothers think girls should bear it in the interest of snagging what looks like an amazing catch. However, you can't ignore your internal hazard lights or intuition/gut feelings, especially if something seems off-key. Not in a quirky sense, but more like a mismatch between facial expressions and emotions. I feel like we should trust our unconscious mind. When people like someone tend to shut off certain feelings, opting to see the best.
So good luck with the capture.
AJ. You are an odey with two kids and a wife. That ship sailed long ago.
I don't think so. I don't conform to the type of person that would have issues with commitment. Parents together, emotionally available, and no history of trauma. Nothing too monumental. No one ever broke my heart. I'm not even jaded. Try that spiel with someone else.
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Damn I need yall opinion on the next big crypto coins .
I agree. There isn't a rough estimate regarding getting to know someone, but short courtships make me nervous. You need at minimum four seasons to get a sense of someone, as you said. Maybe this time frame can be shortened for those who are older and very sure of what they want. The reason for the caution in this respect is short getting-to-know-you periods are the type of whirlwind romances that might have negative consequences. I think anything that starts too fast too soon is bound to end quickly.
I'm starting to disbelieve in instant chemistry. It's ok to find someone attractive, but I'm wary of anything that starts too much as infatuation. I like to always be of sober mind when making long-term decisions. Maybe you are right about the over-30 crowd. But with time, hopefully, comes discernment in these matters.
That seems very challenging. I hope she feels at peace now. People can certainly put on an act, especially in the very beginning. I know the ladies mentioned consulting IIahi in such matters and trusting your God-given intuition. I know sometimes it gets cloudy because of all the outside noise from social expectations and what looks good rather than what is truly good for you. This is easier said than done.What she needs is Quran Akhris, Wa shamsi iyo quluuxiyo inta laguu akhriyo waayo
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Look the person who says they're those thing, sometimes likely aren't BUT let's Bite
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Thank you. I'm far from young, but I'll consider that a compliment. I have found my love; as cliche as this might be, love starts from within. I think the love I have for myself has helped preserve me. That and unconditional love from my family and IIahi. Anything beyond that is a surplus.
Exactly, sis. It's nice that the ladies are highly intuitive and trust their gut feelings. Same here. When I silenced it, I realized my instincts were right all along. I know good brothers are out there and great catches, but when something tells you something is up, I'd say pay attention.
So you're scouting highly intuitive Halimos as crypto speculators?
Is that you in your dp?
Why do you ask?
There is a reason why a mother knows when her non talking baby needs her. She could be in another country yet she knows. Allah blessed us women with intuition yall men are clueless lol most at least
Danm you should’ve left his height out of the equation, so we could’ve more options to work with.So, ladies, you meet a Somali man who could be from your *qabil* that is 30-something, handsome, 6'3, athletic, well-read, highly educated with a 6+ figure income and workaholic tendencies you find indicative of ambition. He appears rather interested in you. However, your intuition tells you something is off. And it hasn't failed you in the past. Would you still let him pursue you or call it quits? You have noticed some early warning signs of possessiveness.
you narrowed it so hard it leads me to conclude only one thing….
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@Sophisticate You like a scumbag Lite or a reformed one don't you? Just be honest with yourself, no judgements here hunno. This is a safe space
But in all honestly, sometimes somethings just feels off about a person. I had a gymbro when I was 18 who was the nicest guy ever. But something just felt off about the guy. There was this "empty" look in his eyes. You could tell he was just going through the motions and did/said things because that's what a normal person was supposed to do/say. You're brain's designed to sniff weird shit like that out.
But in all honestly, sometimes somethings just feels off about a person. I had a gymbro when I was 18 who was the nicest guy ever. But something just felt off about the guy. There was this "empty" look in his eyes. You could tell he was just going through the motions and did/said things because that's what a normal person was supposed to do/say. You're brain's designed to sniff weird shit like that out.
It's not. Or atleast I hope it's not because the simping's going to go into overdrive otherwise and I don't need that kind of competition
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Yeah we are clueless in those regards
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