Ladies..mariage is a raw deal!

[Gooney112]

I didn’t say I was happier, there have been studies done showing single women were happier than married women.

studies lol. There has been studies on every bullsh1t, you can spin anything and say study shows. Hell I can ask 100 people around and say I have done a study and make an argument. But the things you are moaning about makes no sense. No one says a woman has to do all the house work, no one says a woman gets controlled. If you are willing to lose friends because they have kids, then that says a lot about you. You dont live in same reality? What is it that you do thats so much more important than kids? Being parent is the ultimate reality when it comes to life, once you have kids, you will realize how superficial your previous life was.

 

[Baliska]

Abaayo it's simple there are plenty of Somali guys who don't control you. Its your responsibility to pick the right person.

 

[Hanan.ilhan]

I’m here to tell you mariage is a terrible idea for women hence why the divorce rates are so high.

Let me give you a reality of what mariage is like based on the experiences of women I know who have been divorced.

1. Expect to do all the housework, you won’t mind at first but after you are left to do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare...and most of you will still have to work, you will grow to resent your husband. Him leaving stuff in the sink like your his hoyo will leave you angry and frustrated.

2. Expect to be controlled! Everyone knows Somali men are very controlling, so do not be manipulated in to thinking this is a form of love, it’s actually a sign of domestic abuse. The horrible irony is that you will be cooking and cleaning for this guy like he is your child and then you will be asking him permission to meet your friends as if he is your parent.

3. The meher is not worth it and most Somali men are cheap when it comes to this area. Most Somali men have a heart attack if they have to pay you $5k, so do yourself a favour sis and don’t sell yourself short. 5k is the price you pay for a second hand car. Ask yourself how much would you pay for someone to cook, clean and carry out childcare for you for 18+ years, the figure would be hundreds of thousands if not millions, not 5k!

4. Women who are single are happier! It’s just a fact.

5. You will lose your friends. I’m sorry abayo but once you pop kids, you and I are not hanging...I don’t want to hear about little Ayans first steps, girl I got things to do. You and I no longer have the same reality so take your ass home.

If mariage was such a good idea the media (run mainly by men) wouldn’t sell the idea to you over and over again!

Thanks

 

[Hybrid]

Western xalimos are fucked. My mother had a serious conversation with me last night. She told me to never pursue a xalimo who was born in the west. walee waa runteed. The few Somali guys who got married in my city married fobs who are intact with their culture from high population of Somali cities such as Minneapolis. No man wants to have a feminist as a wife who isn't submissive to her husband. Almost all of the American born xalimos in my city are singles wallahi. Y'all might as well settle with Madows or white reverts.

 

[Halimo-2018]

I’m here to tell you mariage is a terrible idea for women hence why the divorce rates are so high.

Let me give you a reality of what mariage is like based on the experiences of women I know who have been divorced.

1. Expect to do all the housework, you won’t mind at first but after you are left to do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare...and most of you will still have to work, you will grow to resent your husband. Him leaving stuff in the sink like your his hoyo will leave you angry and frustrated.

2. Expect to be controlled! Everyone knows Somali men are very controlling, so do not be manipulated in to thinking this is a form of love, it’s actually a sign of domestic abuse. The horrible irony is that you will be cooking and cleaning for this guy like he is your child and then you will be asking him permission to meet your friends as if he is your parent.

3. The meher is not worth it and most Somali men are cheap when it comes to this area. Most Somali men have a heart attack if they have to pay you $5k, so do yourself a favour sis and don’t sell yourself short. 5k is the price you pay for a second hand car. Ask yourself how much would you pay for someone to cook, clean and carry out childcare for you for 18+ years, the figure would be hundreds of thousands if not millions, not 5k!

4. Women who are single are happier! It’s just a fact.

5. You will lose your friends. I’m sorry abayo but once you pop kids, you and I are not hanging...I don’t want to hear about little Ayans first steps, girl I got things to do. You and I no longer have the same reality so take your ass home.

If mariage was such a good idea the media (run mainly by men) wouldn’t sell the idea to you over and over again!

I took my time now that i am 28 i can handle any faraax. I notice a lot somali men prey on girls who just finished high school because they're so insecure about grown woman their age. of course not all somali men are like this but majority are which is why i use to ignore them completely when i was at that age because i knew they were predators and i dont want something like that i wanted something genuine and i knew they were older/ smarter so avoided them all together until i felt like i can understand who's real or fake and honestly i wasnt ready for marriage at that time even the thought of it made me nervous for some reason so i thought why also waste their time? I didnt date until i was 25. I have two potentials now lol hnfortunatle a lot older guys are predators and girls need to be smart.
I believe what you accept in the beggiming is how he will treat you and at end of the day divorce is an option if he is abusive or she is. No one should be affriad of divorce you can respectfully end it and move on. But first carefully pick someone you know well. a lot people are nice to everyone except thei loved once so pick wisely. trust Allah. Never be affraod of divorce just dont make it first choice and marriage is not the only reaon we're here make your life colorful too. Life is too short stop scaring people. Marriage can be beautiful.I can't wait iA


As far as fiends everyone has their perosnal life marriage or no marriage you will lose in contact with a lot of your friends regardless and that is ok. make your own little family and make them your beat friends.Even your kids will leave you eventually and grow up to have their own life. That is life my friend.

 

[Fang4]

Don’t marry a deadbeat husband, it’s up to you to know before marriage if he’s lazy and won’t help you with house chores.

 

[King Khufu]

Actually in certain cases.
Polygamous marriages can be for the women's benefit, of course that's not the narrative here is it

 

[Luna]

6. When you have kids, say goodbye to your life! Khalas, you're a professional breeder and caretaker. Some women may like this, but some want to live a little. Kids tie you down and restrict you.

Plus, not everyone is fit to be a parent. Too many messed up people walking around due to ain't shit parents.

 

[King Khufu]

6. When you have kids, say goodbye to your life! Khalas, you're a professional breeder and caretaker. Some women may like this, but some want to live a little. Kids tie you down and restrict you.

Plus, not everyone is fit to be a parent. Too many messed up people walking around due to ain't shit parents.

This is true.
I've met lot of woman who had kids too early, now they are miserable in their "dating lives"

I think for women they love the idea of having children, till they actually have them. They don't regret it but they wish they had more energy/money to spend to themselves afterwards at least that's how they always made it sound to me

 

[VixR]

7. I would just add to be very wary. Watch the f*ck out. You would be surprised how awful these guys out here turned out, either they’re extremists or losers who carry on or even start hooliganism well into their 30’s (my cousin literally had a guy that moved here, whom she met through being his sister’s friend, that checked out and appeared for all intents and purposes a normal well-adjusted guy, only to start hanging out with utter losers whe he hit in town, and he’s now an addict and she has a retraining order against him and they already have a kid together and now what, and I thought her first marriage was bad). Good luck finding a decent person that doesn’t have skeletons in their closet. Somali guys have skeletons up to here. You really and truly have to fucking sift, and good luck.

 

[Muji]

Western xalimos are fucked. My mother had a serious conversation with me last night. She told me to never pursue a xalimo who was born in the west. walee waa runteed. The few Somali guys who got married in my city married fobs who are intact with their culture from high population of Somali cities such as Minneapolis. No man wants to have a feminist as a wife who isn't submissive to her husband. Almost all of the American born xalimos in my city are singles wallahi. Y'all might as well settle with Madows or white reverts.

I’m seeing a lot of anger and pain in your writing. If you cry to mommy about girls she probably will say it’s not you it’s them to protect you from feeling hurt.

Good luck with the arranged mariage.

 

[Muji]

I took my time now that i am 28 i can handle any faraax. I notice a lot somali men prey on girls who just finished high school because they're so insecure about grown woman their age. of course not all somali men are like this but majority are which is why i use to ignore them completely when i was at that age because i knew they were predators and i dont want something like that i wanted something genuine and i knew they were older/ smarter so avoided them all together until i felt like i can understand who's real or fake and honestly i wasnt ready for marriage at that time even the thought of it made me nervous for some reason so i thought why also waste their time? I didnt date until i was 25. I have two potentials now lol hnfortunatle a lot older guys are predators and girls need to be smart.
I believe what you accept in the beggiming is how he will treat you and at end of the day divorce is an option if he is abusive or she is. No one should be affriad of divorce you can respectfully end it and move on. But first carefully pick someone you know well. a lot people are nice to everyone except thei loved once so pick wisely. trust Allah. Never be affraod of divorce just dont make it first choice and marriage is not the only reaon we're here make your life colorful too. Life is too short stop scaring people. Marriage can be beautiful.I can't wait iA


As far as fiends everyone has their perosnal life marriage or no marriage you will lose in contact with a lot of your friends regardless and that is ok. make your own little family and make them your beat friends.Even your kids will leave you eventually and grow up to have their own life. That is life my friend.

It’s true abayo

A lot of Somali guys are predators and go after 18 year olds who are naive. These men were often hurt by a woman closer to their age who decided he wasn’t enough for her.

You’re very wise.

 

[Muji]

7. I would just add to be very wary. Watch the f*ck out. You would be surprised how awful these guys out here turned out, either they’re extremists or losers who carry on or even start hooliganism well into their 30’s (my cousin literally had a guy that moved here, whom she met through being his sister’s friend, that checked out and appeared for all intents and purposes a normal well-adjusted guy, only to start hanging out with utter losers whe he hit in town, and he’s now an addict and she has a retraining order against him and they already have a kid together and now what, and I thought her first marriage was bad). Good luck finding a decent person that doesn’t have skeletons in their closet. Somali guys have skeletons up to here. You really and truly have to fucking sift, and good luck.

It’s true sis but your cousin shouldn’t have married and had a kid with a guy who came out of town that she didn’t know for long.

I know everything is clear in hindsight but there are some major red flags xalimos miss out on and they often don’t do their due diligence.

 

[VixR]

It’s true sis but your cousin shouldn’t have married and had a kid with a guy who came out of town that she didn’t know for long.

I know everything is clear in hindsight but there are some major red flags xalimos miss out on and they often don’t do their due diligence.

I believed that was responsible for the outcome of her first marriage, she didn’t do her due diligence there, he was a Salafi (lots of my family)c are and it had all the hallmarks in that she was too young and it happened quickly and unceremoniously under the guise of good faith, but this one really threw me in for a loop. They were married for two years before they had a kid. Hard to predict that kind of weak-mindedness, who expects someone’s who’s got their shit together to throw it all away for the camaraderie of obvious losers at that age. But I absolutely agree that Somalis settle into kids way too soon.

 

[Muji]

I believed that was responsible for the outcome of her first marriage, she didn’t do her due diligence there, he was a Salafi (lots of my family)c are and it had all the hallmarks in that she was too young and it happened quickly and unceremoniously under the guise of good faith, but this one really threw me in for a loop. They were married for two years before they had a kid. Hard to predict that kind of weak-mindedness, who expects someone’s who’s got their shit together to throw it all away for the camaraderie of obvious losers at that age. But I absolutely agree that Somalis settle into kids way too soon.

Salafi mindset is a major red flag!

I was talking to someone recently who told me before he met me he was interested in going back home and marrying a girl from there because Western girls are blah blah (insert sexist tirade here). As soon as he said that he was cancelled. There are two things I inferred from that sentence alone!

A. Already has a bias against Western Somali girls since be wants to punish them by marrying abroad!
B. Somalis girls from back home are stereotyped as being maskeen and submissive, although this guy is being very nice to me at this moment in time, he is not looking for a relationship where he is an equal.

Another major red flag was that he was interested in mariage very early on. Unfortunately, 90% of Somali men have skeletons in their closet or treat mariage like a throne where someone has to obey and the other person has to lead. I’m not interested in partnering up with a chauvinist.

 

[VixR]

Salafi mindset is a major red flag!

I was talking to someone recently who told me before he met me he was interested in going back home and marrying a girl from there because Western girls are blah blah (insert sexist tirade here). As soon as he said that he was cancelled. There are two things I inferred from that sentence alone!

A. Already has a bias against Western Somali girls since be wants to punish them by marrying abroad!
B. Somalis girls from back home are stereotyped as being maskeen and submissive, although this guy is being very nice to me at this moment in time, he is not looking for a relationship where he is an equal.

Another major red flag was that he was interested in mariage very early on. Unfortunately, 90% of Somali men have skeletons in their closet or treat mariage like a throne where someone has to obey and the other person has to lead. I’m not interested in partnering up with a chauvinist.

I have tons of Salafi fam members. I was a bit of a Salafi myself for a while, if you can believe that.

Yeah, there’s a lot you can infer and pick up on simply from just talking to someone. Weirdly, the most well adjusted Somalis are ones who don’t have Somali male friends. That guy came from a situation where he didn’t socialize much with Somalis to one where he was doing the most, hanging with this microcosm of old rejects in a community where there aren’t even many of us to begin with.

 

[Halimo-2018]

It’s true abayo

A lot of Somali guys are predators and go after 18 year olds who are naive. These men were often hurt by a woman closer to their age who decided he wasn’t enough for her.

You’re very wise.

I was very wise young girl Lol i could smell that from afar lol this is what i advice my teenage nieces now. some men need help. thanks luv.

 

[Muji]

I have tons of Salafi fam members. I was a bit of a Salafi myself for a while, if you can believe that.

Yeah, there’s a lot you can infer and pick up on simply from just talking to someone. Weirdly, the most well adjusted Somalis are ones who don’t have Somali male friends. That guy came from a situation where he didn’t socialize much with Somalis to one where he was doing the most, hanging with this microcosm of old rejects in a community where there aren’t even many of us to begin with.

Sounds like he was reliving his youth as a degenerate Somali male

Turning in to a roadman when you are 17 is one thing but as a grown man with a wife and kid

I’ve also decided I’m not going anywhere near a man with a child.

Abayo all somali girls went through a salafi phase but it’s not something that you can sustain over time.

 

[Cognitivedissonance]

Masha Allah i agree westernised xalimos for men of various races and faraxs from the diaspora should get married back home.

Imagine marrying a girl like @VixR you would wale you one morning to your daughter dressed like a boy and your som dressed up as a girl and she will teach them darwinism Allah forbid.

 

[Muji]

I was very wise young girl Lol i could smell that from afar lol this is what i advice my teenage nieces now. some men need help. thanks luv.

I have nieces who are about to turn that age! I need a chat with them as awkward as it is, they need to be on guard against these predatory men.