Is it weird for Somali men to cook and clean?

[IBRAHIM.]

Smart man

lol. i didnt mean that. i was being sarcastic.

 

[Luciddreamer]

men who cant cook or clean are boys with no pubes, old infants are so ugly aaashhhh iyo uffff

 

[XaawoLuul]

Weird flex but okay.

 

[Vanessa]

Mashallah your future wife is lucky to have u.

My father never cook or clean because my siblings, mother and I do it for him. Before marriage, he used to cook and clean. Helped his mother with the house chores. Now, he’s a king in the house but a humble king.

My brothers clean but only prompting from my parents. They never cook main meals.

 

[Killua]

No, not at all. My father never cooked before and when my mother started nursing school and then became a nurse he started taking lessons from her on weekends. He was a smart man and learned quick. Eventually his cooking rivaled my mother's. He used to clean the entire house every Sunday spic and span from top to bottom. He would buy tools and I would follow him around and he would fix anything broken in the house, he would clean the dishes, vacuum, he would make my younger siblings lunch for the school day every morning, etc.

I miss him every day. allahu naxariisto. May Allah give him the highest position in paradise.

That's exactly how my dad is . Cooking and cleaning isn't feminine

 

[Killua]

I wouldn’t have kids with someone who can’t be an active, dependable father. That includes being hands on, in cooking, cleaning, etc, Somali or not. If I have to teach him, that’s fine, but he has to learn.

Will you be willing to learn how to fix and mend thing in and around the house, change tyres and oil and put together furniture, mow the lawn etc

If men are going to do traditionally feminine work around the house then women should do traditionally masculine work as well.

 

[VixR]

Will you be willing to learn how to fix and mend thing in and around the house, change tyres and oil and put together furniture, mow the lawn etc

If men are going to do traditionally feminine work around the house then women should do traditionally masculine work as well.

My dad didn’t allow me to drive w/o learning to change tires and oil out here.

Most people don’t do “masculine” work around the house anymore, they hire professionals. Some men can still do it and I think it’s valuable, but most can’t.

It’s a fact men are doing less, and women are doing more and more in marriages (the only difference is, they have assistive devices courtesy of technology for doing that same work, as well as assisting in traditionally male roles). Also, “traditionally male” housework is cyclical/as-needed work, not everyday.

 

[VixR]

Suppose he ticks off everything on your list of dependability but doesn't like to cook always. You having chosen him over everyone else already, why can't you cook out of love for him and for the kids? Suppose he prefers to clean and do laundry, help with homework and teach kids how to bike, play soccer with them and go out on trips to town with them. Anything but that smelly kitchen.

Would you still be satisfied? Or you will be rigid and insist he cooks for you to prove his worth? I mean, people in marriage make all sorts of agreements between them when it comes to how they live their lives in their homes. Being rigid or unreasonable leads to failure in relationship.

What say you madam?

He has to learn how to cook. For my situation, that’s necessary, especially since if I have kids, they won’t be eating processed foods for as long I can help it.

Also, he has to be hands-on in more ways than you described, bc we need to get through the toddler years without daycare together.

If that’s too much, it’s a flop from the beginning, and he should have kids elsewhere.

 

[Killua]

My dad didn’t allow me to drive w/o learning to change tires and oil out here.

Most people don’t do “masculine” work around the house anymore, they hire professionals. Some men can still do it and I think it’s valuable, but most can’t.

It’s a fact men are doing less, and women are doing more and more in marriages (the only difference is, they have assistive devices courtesy of technology for doing that same work, as well as assisting in traditionally male roles). Also, “traditionally male” housework is cyclical/as-needed work, not everyday.

Millenial men are actually doing more work in the house than millenial women. That would have been true for older generations but not anymore . Most men are helping out in the house with the cooking/cleaning and also do the menial work like plumbing.

Tbf, I'd only cook and clean if my wife is ready to mow the lawn, do the plumbing and set up furniture etc . It's 2019, everything has to be 50:50

 

[VixR]

Millenial men are actually doing more work in the house than millenial women. That would have been true for older generations but not anymore . Most men are helping out in the house with the cooking/cleaning and also do the menial work like plumbing.

Tbf, I'd only cook and clean if my wife is ready to mow the lawn, do the plumbing and set up furniture etc . It's 2019, everything has to be 50:50

Cooking isn’t hard. I was never required to cook at home, except throwing on some tea for guests and doing related hostess-y stuff. I taught myself with some tips from mom in the last year or so due to moving out.

Everything doesn’t have to be 50:50, but it has to be reasonable. Doing menial work isn’t comparable to cooking for a woman. A man can do both. In fact, you have a natural advantage in one, and the playing field is level on the other.

Frankly, if a guy is going to sit there with his muscle watching you lay bricks or something menial, he doesn’t like you very much.

 

[HalimaJ]

Millenial men are actually doing more work in the house than millenial women. That would have been true for older generations but not anymore . Most men are helping out in the house with the cooking/cleaning and also do the menial work like plumbing.

Tbf, I'd only cook and clean if my wife is ready to mow the lawn, do the plumbing and set up furniture etc . It's 2019, everything has to be 50:50

You're wife will be cooking and cleaning everyday.

At most you will me mowing the lane once a week. Plumbing once every two weeks or a month ect.

So on a everyday basis, you will essentially be doing nothing.

Therefore, you are comparing apples and oranges.

Also, funnily enough most millennial men use the service of plumbers and other professionals, and on top of that their wives help them with the finances.

Millenial women do more work.

 

[halwa]

does it matter,

being an Ogaden red blooded male pure asli, over 6 feet, but does it matter basra

answer my question, what is wrong with marrying an OG man huuno?

we are very loyal to our kids, and wives,

Very loyal more like beat them up black and blue and admit them into the ICU.

 

[Killua]

Cooking isn’t hard. I was never required to cook at home, except throwing on some tea for guests and doing related hostess-y stuff. I taught myself with some tips from mom in the last year or so due to moving out.

Everything doesn’t have to be 50:50, but it has to be reasonable. Doing menial work isn’t comparable to cooking for a woman. A man can do both. In fact, you have a natural advantage in one, and the playing field is level on the other.

Frankly, if a guy is going to sit there with his muscle watching you lay bricks or something menial, he doesn’t like you very much.

Don't get me wrong I'd definitely help out in the house where i can but she would have to bear the brunt of the work.

Your last paragraph is disingenuous, women can do both too unless ofc you are being misogynistic. So answer the question , if your husband was to cook and clean would you do the traditionally male household work too?

 

[Farjano-Walad]

Very loyal more like beat them up black and blue and admit them into the ICU.

naya halwa, i wouldn't mind beating you black and blue in bed and then making you make me some halwa, afterwards, looks like You have too much time

 

[VixR]

Don't get me wrong I'd definitely help out in the house where i can but she would have to bear the brunt of the work.

Your last paragraph is disingenuous, women can do both too unless ofc you are being misogynistic. So answer the question , if your husband was to cook and clean would you do the traditionally male household work too?

Lol Times like these, I understand with uncomfortable clarity why those women who’re obviously primarily hetero, retire from men and become romantic lesbians, unfortunately it just doesn’t cut it.

I want a guy who when he sees something that needs to be done, does it. Why would you go on with the mentality that she needs to do the brunt of the work? Guess who’ll start to resent you down the line?

And there’s nothing misogynistic about the fact that we’re not the same.

 

[Killua]

Lol Times like these, I understand with uncomfortable clarity why those women who’re obviously primarily hetero, retire from men and become romantic lesbians, unfortunately it just doesn’t cut it.

Huuno, we don't care about lesbians. If you want to eat coochie, then you can do that

 

[VixR]

Huuno, we don't care about lesbians. If you want to eat coochie, then you can do that

You didn’t understand the larger point.

A lot of women file for divorce, bc they literally realize you’re not providing much of value, and the love dies.

When the honeymoon phase wanes, it’s the acts of service of the type of person who works with you in an involved marriage that will keep feeding that love and bond, both in the bedroom and beyond. Keeping fit for each other and the things you do for each other.

What happens is, nothing changes for you, but she becomes fed up with the “brunt” of the load and lack of added value from you eventually, whether it’s coochie she moves on to or not.

I’m not closed off to finding a nice cooch if all else fails lol. That may or may not mean a cat lol. Women must be a bit more fluid for a reason.

 

[Killua]

You didn’t understand the larger point.

A lot of women file for divorce, bc they literally realize you’re not providing much of value, and the love dies.

When the honeymoon phase wanes, it’s the acts of service of the type of person who works with you in an involved marriage that will keep feeding that love and bond, both in the bedroom and beyond. Keeping fit for each other and the things you do for each other.

What happens is, nothing changes for you, but she becomes fed up with the “brunt” of the load and lack of added value from you eventually, whether it’s coochie she moves on to or not.

I’m not closed off to finding a nice cooch if all else fails lol. That may or may not mean a cat lol. Women must be a bit more fluid for a reason.

I see your point but if she files for divorce then I'll move on to my sidepiece. Men will always have the upper hand in the dating market because their are less good quality men than women and we don't age as badly. Either way, using divorce as a cudjel to get what you want in a relationship doesn't faze us.


Plus, in most relationships it s men who do all the work from the courting stage to the actual relationship esp...... in terms of romance department. Giving up the coochie seems to be the only recurring theme when it comes to womens added value to a relationship.

A cat lady mirrors the female version of an incel and only low-borne people fall to such a level(not saying that this is you)

 

[VixR]

I see your point but if she files for divorce then I'll move on to my sidepiece. Men will always have the upper hand in the dating market because their are less good quality men than women and we don't age as badly. Either way, using divorce as a cudjel to get what you want in a relationship doesn't faze us.


Plus, in most relationships it s men who do all the work from the courting stage to the actual relationship esp...... in terms of romance department. Giving up the coochie seems to be the only recurring theme when it comes to womens added value to a relationship.

A cat lady mirrors the female version of an incel and only low-borne people fall to such a level(not saying that this is you)

Well, that’s just how it works. Tough luck if you have a problem working for it. However, I disagree with the notion that only the man be romantic within the relationship. The guy needs to feel wanted too.

About the whole value thing, its irrelevant on the personal level, bc there’s what you can want and what you can handle within a relationship, and everyone has their limits. You either want the relationship or you don’t.

And I don’t think you did get my point, bc I didn’t say anything about using divorce as a cudgel, and the underlying problem didn’t solve itself in exchanging partners, which she would also be doing (never mind the idea that there’s a side piece in the equation). Your whole position seems incompatible with success in a marriage. It’s not for everyone. I’m not even sure it’s for me, but you’re definitely left of me lol.

 

[Killua]

Well, that’s just how it works. Tough luck if you have a problem working for it. However, I disagree with the notion that only the man be romantic within the relationship. The guy needs to feel wanted too.

About the whole value thing, its irrelevant on the personal level, bc there’s what you can want and what you can handle within a relationship, and everyone has their limits. You either want the relationship or you don’t.

And I don’t think you did get my point, bc I didn’t say anything about using divorce as a cudgel, and the underlying problem didn’t solve itself in exchanging partners, which she would also be doing (never mind the idea that there’s a side piece in the equation). Your whole position seems incompatible with success in a marriage. It’s not for everyone. I’m not even sure it’s for me, but you’re definitely left of me lol.

Marriage probably won’t exist in the future as it’s actually proven to be useless and meaningless.The only upside to it was for procreation and tearing kids but even then new technology is being made to take care of that too .

De facto relationships is th way to go