I'm starting the process of getting married and would like advice

[zeinap83]

Ummm 3 years left of college? So you just finished your freshmen year? Its not even like you found someone in college that you like and wanna get married to youre just straight up hunting and wanna get married for the heck of it..... naa iss dijji. naga fadhiiso and finish your degree. How socially awkward must you be for you not to find someone in college and have to hunt for one at this age.......

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

Ummm 3 years left of college? So you just finished your freshmen year? Its not even like you found someone in college that you like and wanna get married to youre just straight up hunting and wanna get married for the heck of it..... naa iss dijji. naga fadhiiso and finish your degree. How socially awkward must you be for you not to find someone in college and have to hunt for one at this age.......

Because of my age? I want to marry someone older, the guys my age are dating (honestly there's only 3 Somali guys in undergrad, the rest are dubjiriin). My parents know the ones right for me. Why are you guys so rude? I don't vibe well with most Somalis, most only live in the moment with, but I'm not socially awkward.

 

[zeinap83]

Because of my age? I want to marry someone older, the guys my age are dating (honestly there's only 3 Somali guys in undergrad, the rest are dubjiriin). My parents know the ones right for me. Why are you guys so rude? I don't vibe well with most Somalis, most only live in the moment with, but I'm not socially awkward.

Its just weird for you to only be like 18/19 and husband hunting. If you met someone in college and it was organic then yea but hunting for an odey at this age? arent your parents saying you need to relax? Just dont rush into things for the heck of getting married.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Ummm 3 years left of college? So you just finished your freshmen year? Its not even like you found someone in college that you like and wanna get married to youre just straight up hunting and wanna get married for the heck of it..... naa iss dijji. naga fadhiiso and finish your degree. How socially awkward must you be for you not to find someone in college and have to hunt for one at this age.......

There are people that go entire semesters without really talking to anyone beside classmates and professors.

If you live on campus at a Uni than you do have high chances of meeting new people and having sex and etc.

But if your a commuter than well it just depends on the person. I know a shit load of commuters that just go to school and go home.

I got accepted to a uni on the coast and when I considered attending my mom only objected because she didn’t want me sleeping around. She use to clean dorm for universities when she was younger. So she knows what goes on in dorms.

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

Its just weird for you to only be like 18/19 and husband hunting. If you met someone in college and it was organic then yea but hunting for an odey at this age? arent your parents saying you need to relax? Just dont rush into things for the heck of getting married.

Jesus Christ. I want to get married now so I'm starting the process. That doesn't mean I have a deadline to meet. I'm not going to rush. I'm simply starting now. Stop shaming me based on your twisted moral superiority complex.

Also not every xalimo meets a guy. I know. There are only 3 Somali guys at schoo that I personally know in undergrad, and they seriously only got accceoted because of affirmative action. They don't study at all. They lost their financial aid status and were asking for money on fundme this semester. HELL NO, Im not waiting to "organically" find a Faarax. That only works for white girls because there target guys are everywhere.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

What are you going to school for?

It’s not weird though. I didn’t realize it at first but there are a lot of 18-20 year olds getting married. But most are getting married to someone around their age. I honeslty don’t know any dude who has a well established career and is married to a girl in undergrad(this includes mostly all the Muslims I know like pakis Somalis and etc).

Are you trying to marry like an engineer?, doctor?, accountant? Just in general an abdi with a career?

Most of these dudes^ I usually run into at the masjid.

Go to the masjid and ask the imam or sheikh to hook you up

Jesus Christ. I want to get married now so I'm starting the process. That doesn't mean I have a deadline to meet. I'm not going to rush. I'm simply starting now. Stop shaming me based on your twisted moral superiority complex.

Also not every xalimo meets a guy. I know. There are only 3 Somali guys at schoo that I personally know in undergrad, and they seriously only got accceoted because of affirmative action. They don't study at all. They lost their financial aid status and were asking for money on fundme this semester. HELL NO, Im not waiting to "organically" find a Faarax. That only works for white girls because there target guys are everywhere.

 

[Sheikh]

Jesus Christ. I want to get married now so I'm starting the process. That doesn't mean I have a deadline to meet. I'm not going to rush. I'm simply starting now. Stop shaming me based on your twisted moral superiority complex.

Also not every xalimo meets a guy. I know. There are only 3 Somali guys at schoo that I personally know in undergrad, and they seriously only got accceoted because of affirmative action. They don't study at all. They lost their financial aid status and were asking for money on fundme this semester. HELL NO, Im not waiting to "organically" find a Faarax. That only works for white girls because there target guys are everywhere.

Are you a Christian?

Why did you say Jesus Christ?

Aren't you a Muslim?

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

What are you going to school for?

It’s not weird though. I didn’t realize it at first but there are a lot of 18-20 year olds getting married. But most are getting married to someone around their age. I honeslty don’t know any dude who has a well established career and is married to a girl in undergrad(this includes mostly all the Muslims I know like pakis Somalis and etc).

Are you trying to marry like an engineer?, doctor?, accountant? Just in general an abdi with a career?

Most of these dudes^ I usually run into at the masjid.

Go to the masjid and ask the imam or sheikh to hook you up

I would marry a guy my age. But I don't live in Minnesota or Colombus. The few guys I know are honestly low archeivers that only care about having fun.That's the reason for my preference for older. It's more like I don't got a choice.

I know there are some Somali guys that exist in the med school and other graduate departments. Or older seniors in the engineering department that hang out only in the labs. Obviously I don't know them because we don't cross paths much as I'm a freshman.

I wouldn't mind marrying someone still in school but older, or one with a career. Both are the same. As long as he's a good student he will eventually have a job iA.

I'm not really worried about finding a guy. My dad knows many good ones. I'm more worried about sexual compatibility because it's so hard to decipher. Personality and goals is also a concern, but I'm sure I'll find someone I'm compatible with in that sense.

 

[Jake from State Farm]

I would marry a guy my age. But I don't live in Minnesota or Colombus. The few guys I know are honestly low archives that only care about having fun.That's the reason for my presence for older. It's more like I don't got a choice.

I know there are some Somali guys that exist in the med school and other graduate departments. Or older seniors in the engineering department that hang out only in the labs. Obviously I don't know them because we don't cross paths much as I'm a freshman.

I wouldn't mind marrying someone still in school but older, or one with a career. Both are the same. As long as he's a good student he will eventually have a job iA.

Which state you in?

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

Which state you in?

Lool. If I tell you the state you'll automatically know the city

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Lool. If I tell you the state you'll automatically know the city

You live in Texas?

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

You live in Texas?

 

[Jake from State Farm]

Go to the community colleges in your area. I be seeing abdis there all the time since I attended one(will be attending the uni in the fall)

go hit up an MSA meeting at ur uni. I had an old friend that attended the msa at school and told me there were somalis that were in the club.

U might be able to meet ur man there.


I’m assuming you live in Texas

 

[Mercury]

I would tell you not rush things let things take their time get to know the person and talk about your expactations of the marriage the more you share with each other the better

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

Go to the community colleges in your area. I be seeing abdis there all the time since I attended one(will be attending the uni in the fall)

go hit up an MSA meeting at ur uni. I had an old friend that attended the msa at school and told me there were somalis that were in the club.

U might be able to meet ur man there.


I’m assuming you live in Texas

Why would I leave a top 4 year University to go to community college just to meet a Faarax? Pathetic. I'd rather marry a white or black guy then go to such lengths to meet a Somali guy. And that's saying a lot. Would never want my child to have identity issues.

Anyways I've said it repeatedly. I'm not worried about finding a guy. My dad knows a ton. I'm worried about sexual compatibility. It is so hard to decipher.

 

[YourBroMoe]

My advice is to get the f*ck out of this website.

 

[Kawsar Mustafa]

My advice is to get the f*ck out of this website.

Yeah, I've only been here two days. It's so fucking weird.

 

[YourBroMoe]

Yeah, I've only been here two days. It's so fucking weird.

I got vaperwave texts on my actual profile pic. That should be a clear indication that I don't give a flying pig of a f*ck about this place. This is literally just entertainment. Most of the people here are cool af, but some are weird af. All in all, I think 6-7/10 of the ppl here need to go out more.

 

[Christina4991]

1) NEVER make a joint account, your money is YOUR money.
2) Whatever happens make sure you finish college. Anything can happen and you need your qualifications, in case you end up in a position where you have to work to survive.
3) Please remember Sis, just because the guy happens to be a good person, practicing, and have a stable job, doesn’t mean the marriage will work. Are your personalities compatible ( this is someone you’ll be living with and growing a family with inshaallah)
4) ask questions( lots of them), for example, you may meet a brother who agrees with you about, let’s say marriage being about give and take, but when put into action you could find that his idea of ‘give and take’ and your idea of ‘give and take’ are worlds apart.
5) I would recommend waiting at least 8 months before deciding to start trying for children. take it from a married woman of almost 3 years, until you’ve lived under the same roof, and have passed that honeymoon phase, you don’t know each other, you may think you do, but I promise you, you don’t. It will give you both a chance to adjust to one another, because there will most definitely be times where you will clash with your husband, add a baby into the mix too soon, and something minor, will just become super complicated, because there is another life involved.
And finally...
6) NEVER allow your marriage to take your identity as an individual away from you! Always maintain who you are as a person, and as a woman, and make sure the guy you end up marrying will support you in that, and not be an obstacle.(because there are SOME men out there who will tell you what you want to hear to get married, and then once your married, use the ‘I’m the husband, in Islam you must obey me’ line to back out of everything they said( as a solution you could include it I your marriage contract).
All the best sis.

 

[Active asylum]

1) NEVER make a joint account, your money is YOUR money.
2) Whatever happens make sure you finish college. Anything can happen and you need your qualifications, in case you end up in a position where you have to work to survive.
3) Please remember Sis, just because the guy happens to be a good person, practicing, and have a stable job, doesn’t mean the marriage will work. Are your personalities compatible ( this is someone you’ll be living with and growing a family with inshaallah)
4) ask questions( lots of them), for example, you may meet a brother who agrees with you about, let’s say marriage being about give and take, but when put into action you could find that his idea of ‘give and take’ and your idea of ‘give and take’ are worlds apart.
5) I would recommend waiting at least 8 months before deciding to start trying for children. take it from a married woman of almost 3 years, until you’ve lived under the same roof, and have passed that honeymoon phase, you don’t know each other, you may think you do, but I promise you, you don’t. It will give you both a chance to adjust to one another, because there will most definitely be times where you will clash with your husband, add a baby into the mix too soon, and something minor, will just become super complicated, because there is another life involved.
And finally...
6) NEVER allow your marriage to take your identity as an individual away from you! Always maintain who you are as a person, and as a woman, and make sure the guy you end up marrying will support you in that, and not be an obstacle.(because there are SOME men out there who will tell you what you want to hear to get married, and then once your married, use the ‘I’m the husband, in Islam you must obey me’ line to back out of everything they said( as a solution you could include it I your marriage contract).
All the best sis.

Great advice... I will keep this in my notebook.. Allah Akbar