Has anyone ever come across Somali parents that don’t let their daughters get married?

[Angelina]

ima be real Angelina, i dont even prescribe to the ” cheap n clean” rant. But isnt this a prime example of it? Luugaha o fuur = mehr n marriage for Faraax n secret ” BF” for the ajnabi ”muslim” guy.

Nah it’s a perfect example of parents playing games and then seeing the consequences. She tried to get married to a Somali man and her parents said no for no reason and now she’s with an ajnabi, jokes on them. As for the closed or open leg reference that’s nasty. OP never gave the impression they’re sleeping together and we shouldn’t go down that route.

This boils down too two issues. 1 unfortunaly majority Somali girls tend to marry down, once you put someones ethnicity & skincolour on a pedastal you already finished this what alot ”divestors” dont realise. Prime example Thai/philiphino & Japanese/chinese women. The first group tend to marry qashiin cadaan and the second one tend to go for the most succesful cadaans.

I don’t understand you? She literally tried to marry a Somali man and what do her parents do? Reject him for no reason. Why are you now going on and on about IR relationships?

Second rsn is cuz alot Somali women who marry out, tend too be not welcomed by ajnabi community so when they see Somali men being hostile against them, they see every single one as their enemy. However it’s just a projection, if ur happy and divested the last of ur worry would be us faraaxs.

 

[cooli3o]

As for the closed or open leg reference that’s nasty. OP never gave the impression they’re sleeping together and we shouldn’t go down that route.

She has a secret boyfriend

idk why girls do this, but if you aren't sleeping together, he is not your boyfriend

 

[Angelina]

Ajnabi got the cow milk for free while the Faarax is

Do you have any proof she slept with him Authobillah?

@Chase I thought you were better than this? OP never have the impression that she’s sleeping with him or anything. She just didn’t introduce him to her family as she knows they won’t let her marry him.

Really insane to me how you lot personalize everything a Somali girl does. If she goes for an ajnabi you lot react like she personally slighted you, hence due to your overly emotional responses.

It’s like me chimping out because a Farax wanted to marry a Somali girl and his parents didn’t let him so he dates an Arab girl. I’d just see it as him being angry or trying to get back at his fam or him simply falling for the Arab girl. I would never write a whole analysis about how he secretly liked ajnabis or any other nonsense. It’s strange how a lot of men think, it’s proper entitlement mixed with low self esteem. Nor would I ever crazily think being a secret girlfriend is a flex.

 

[Angelina]

idk why girls do this, but if you aren't sleeping together, he is not your boyfriend

@empressjamila youre the one that can fully answer this. Is their relationship physically inappropriate or by secret boyfriend did you mean, secret from the fam?

 

[Chase]

Because she did it the correct way and thought her parents would be okay with it?! I mean she literallly brought him home and she’s Somali and so is he. Why would she think her parents would say no? Also why would a self-respecting Farax who has seen the writing on the wall marry into such a family and elope? We don’t know what happened behind the scenes? As far as we know her Somali potential groom could have easily been like goodbye if you’re parents are acting weirdly.

Im sorry, but you’re coming across as childish here. There is nothing romantic about having a secret girlfriend/boyfriend. You’re mad if you think someone puts you on a pedestal if they’re keeping you a secret. It’s an insult tbh.

So she did it 'correct' with the first guy, but all that goes out the window when it comes to a foreigner? I highly doubt she'd elope if the guy wasn't foreign.

Let's be real here, there's a reason why this whole 'cheap & clean' thing took off, it was heavily over-exaggerated, but there was some truth to it.

Anyways, what do I care? The only thing I care about is the first brother dodging a huge bullet, disowning and running away from your parents for a guy/gal? Where's the self-respect? The more girls like her marry out, the better.

And I never accused her of sleeping with the guy, but I also wouldn't be surprised if she was.

 

[Chase]

Do you have any proof she slept with him Authobillah?

@Chase I thought you were better than this? OP never have the impression that she’s sleeping with him or anything. She just didn’t introduce him to her family as she knows they won’t let her marry him.

Really insane to me how you lot personalize everything a Somali girl does. If she goes for an ajnabi you lot react like she personally slighted you, hence due to your overly emotional responses.

It’s like me chimping out because a Farax wanted to marry a Somali girl and his parents didn’t let him so he dates an Arab girl. I’d just see it as him being angry or trying to get back at his fam or him simply falling for the Arab girl. I would never write a whole analysis about how he secretly liked ajnabis or any other nonsense. It’s strange how a lot of men think, it’s proper entitlement mixed with low self esteem. Nor would I ever crazily think being a secret girlfriend is a flex.

You serious? I don't care if a Somali girl is into beastilality for that matter, it's none of my concern, I'm only concerned with those I deal with.

What I will call out is this discrepancy some of you have with applying different standards and forcing Somali guys through hoops, but the Ajanabi gets a free ride.

Pointing out that discrepancy does not = me being slighted at what Xalimos get up to, frankly I consider that remark to be an insult to my character.

 

[Angelina]

So she did it 'correct' with the first guy, but all that goes out the window when it comes to a foreigner? I highly doubt she'd elope if the guy wasn't foreign.

Let's be real here, there's a reason why this whole 'cheap & clean' thing took off, it was heavily over-exaggerated, but there was some truth to it.

Yes it does since the parents made it go out of the window by rubbishing her attempts to get married and practically said no for no reason. He’s Somali, earns more than 100k and still they said no because they simply don’t want her to get married, why on earth would she bother the second time around with an ajnabi to boot?!

Are we reading the same story Chase? Or are you taking this too personal and letting jealousy over some random girl getting in the way?

Anyways, what do I care? The only thing I care about is the first brother dodging a huge bullet, disowning and running away from your parents for a guy/gal? Where's the self-respect? The more girls like her marry out, the better.

Her parents don’t want her to marry at all tbh. If she plays by their game, she’ll be single until 35. I don’t condone her actions but it’s clear to see it’s coming from a place of anger. You’re not able to see that but I know for a fact you would if the genders were switched and you don’t let your territorial jealousy get in the way. and I know it’s jealousy since if the second guy was Somali and she tried to run with him even though that would also be inappropriate, you’d see it as ‘romantic’ lol.

And I never accused her of sleeping with the guy, but I also wouldn't be surprised if she was.

Step back a bit. You’re sounding like a bit…. Yh.

 

[Odious Delirium]

You serious? I don't care if a Somali girl is into beastilality for that matter, it's none of my concern, I'm only concerned with those I deal with.

What I will call out is this discrepancy some of you have with applying different standards and forcing Somali guys through hoops, but the Ajanabi gets a free ride.

Pointing out that discrepancy does not = me being slighted at what Xalimos get up to, frankly I consider that remark to be an insult to my character.

Yeah I always have said some have one standard for fellow somalis and another for ajnabis. pointing it out doesn't mean we actually care about the women doing that as long as we ain't dealing with them ourselves.

Not that's they should be degrading themselves for somali men but that they should be keeping the same standards or rising them higher for ajnabis.

It's a good thing that they divest so we don't have to deal with them the real problems are those that try to crawl back or push it onto other women to be the same.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter tho your not gonna be dealing with them for the most part anyways.

Plus this is her parents fault in the first place when it comes to this senario.

 

[Ozymandias]

War idinka maxaa ka hadlaysiin, who gives a damn

 

[Ozymandias]

Yeah I always have said some have one standard for fellow somalis and another for ajnabis. pointing it out doesn't mean we actually care about the women doing that as long as we ain't dealing with them ourselves.

Not that's they should be degrading themselves for somali men but that they should be keeping the same standards or rising them higher for ajnabis.

It's a good thing that they divest so we don't have to deal with them the real problems are those that try to crawl back or push it onto other women to be the same.

Too many options for western somali men for it to ever be an issue imo. And why limit yourself to a certain group of women, nonsense talk

 

[Angelina]

You serious? I don't care if a Somali girl is into beastilality for that matter, it's none of my concern, I'm only concerned with those I deal with.

What I will call out is this discrepancy some of you have with applying different standards and forcing Somali guys through hoops, but the Ajanabi gets a free ride.

How is that even applicable to the story? Do you see what I mean when I’m saying you’re allowing your emotions to over take you? This isn’t a story about a girl making a Somali man pay more or having higher standards. It’s about a girl whose parents rejected a man she wanted for stupid reasons and then realizing that her family probably want to use her as a ‘cash cow’ hence the secrecy. But you’re so concerned about other narratives you’ve heard that you’re projecting this on to this story?!

Pointing out that discrepancy does not = me being slighted at what Xalimos get up to, frankly I consider that remark to be an insult to my character.

That’s my issue, you’re not pointing a discrepancy, you’ve literally twisted the whole story! Your point would only make sense if the girl was allowed to marry the Somali man, but things didn’t work out and then got herself an ajnabi and tried to do things secretly with no Mehr ect. But what is happening is that her parents aren’t even allowing her to marry at all which is which is why she’s been forced to be secret. You’re purposely left out that key fact and are leaving out the nuance of that story. You can’t even see that part since you’re so obessed with the idea of an ajnabi getting a woman for a free when that hardly even happens! That’s insane.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Too any options for western somali men for it to ever be an issue imo. And why limit yourself to a certain group of women, nonsense talk

Read my comment I said it doesn't matter

 

[Angelina]

Yeah I always have said some have one standard for fellow somalis and another for ajnabis. pointing it out doesn't mean we actually care about the women doing that as long as we ain't dealing with them ourselves.

Not that's they should be degrading themselves for somali men but that they should be keeping the same standards or rising them higher for ajnabis.

It's a good thing that they divest so we don't have to deal with them the real problems are those that try to crawl back or push it onto other women to be the same.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter tho your not gonna be dealing with them for the most part anyways

Are you lot reading the same story or are all of you men here so blinded by emotions? Why would you purposely leave out the ‘why’.

Her parents aren’t letting her marry so the next guy whether he’s an ajnabi or Somali she clearly felt like she had to keep it a secret since they’re purposely stopping her from getting hitched?! This clearly isn’t an issue of standards but one of her parents making since she can’t even marry and be open with them since they’ll reject it either way! Yet somehow you lot made it about yourselves!

Why would you side step clear issue which is the elephant in the room and think the worse. It’s like Sspot males lose their marbles if the word ‘ajnabi’ is even whispered. Any form of thinking goes out the window.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Are you lot reading the same story or are all of you men here so blinded by emotions? Why would you purposely leave out the ‘why’.

Her parents aren’t letting her marry so the next guy whether he’s an ajnabi or Somali she clearly felt like she had to keep it a secret since they’re purposely stopping her from getting hitched?!

Why would you side step clear issue which is the elephant in the room and think the worse. It’s like Sspot males lose their marbles if the word ‘ajnabi’ is even whispered. Any form of thinking goes out the window.

I already mentioned that read my comment again I already edited that in before you replied

 

[Angelina]

I already mentioned that read my comment again I already edited that in before you replied

Just saw…
But even then, she can’t have the same standards for the ajnabi guy or even another Somali guys since she now knows her parents simply won’t allow it. Basic common sense. I don’t agree with her actions, but the psychology behind it is obvious to anyone who isn’t projecting.

 

[Chase]

Yes it does since the parents made it go out of the window by rubbishing her attempts to get married and practically said no for no reason. He’s Somali, earns more than 100k and still they said no because they simply don’t want her to get married, why on earth would she bother the second time around with an ajnabi to boot?!

Are we reading the same story Chase? Or are you taking this too personal and letting jealousy over some random girl getting in the way?

Okay, we'll go a bit slower here lol

1. I don't care who or what you want for a partner or spouse, it's not my business or right to overstep and lecture you, the heart wants what the heart wants, I'm more than willing to be on board for that one.

2. I specifically pointed out the difference in the high expectations wanted from Somali men, as opposed to their Ajanabi counterparts.

You’re not able to see that but I know for a fact you would if the genders were switched and you don’t let your territorial jealousy get in the way. and I know it’s jealousy since if the second guy was Somali and she tried to run with him even though that would also be inappropriate, you’d see it as ‘romantic’ lol.

No, I wouldn't, you're just assuming things about me, nobody should ever be in a position of leaving their parents for anyone, hence my specification 'guy/gal'

Step back a bit. You’re sounding like a bit…. Yh.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Just saw…
But even then, she can’t have the same standards for the ajnabi guy or even another Somali guys since she now knows her parents simply won’t allow it. Basic common sense. I don’t agree with her actions, but the psychology behind it is obvious to anyone who isn’t projecting.

Understandable but not acceptable both the parents and her are in the wrong.

If you know your parents don't want something then why entertain it and get emotionally invested to the point of getting into a relationship behind there backs?

I was speaking in general by the way not specifically to this example in my previous comment. I'm just talking on the sentiment around this.

It reminds me of muslim women chastising muslim men who act out of pocket which is good but getting giddy and supportive when the same sort of disrespectful stuff is done my non muslim men.

This is an example of what I'm talking about

 

[Angelina]

Okay, we'll go a bit slower here lol

1. I don't care who or what you want for a partner or spouse, it's not my business or right to overstep and lecture you, the heart wants what the heart wants, I'm more than willing to be on board for that one.

2. I specifically pointed out the difference in the high expectations wanted from Somali men, as opposed to their Ajanabi counterparts.

That’s my issue. You’re generally emotionally intellegent and for some reason it’s lost on you that she can’t have higher expectations on any man after the incident with her parents as they simply won’t let her marry! So how can you expect her to go through the traditional route when her parents simply don’t allow it? Don’t you get what I’m trying to say? Again I’m not condoning her behavior but simply noting that I completely get her psychology. Even if the second guy was Somali I highly doubt she wouldn’t keep him a secret since her parents would still say no.

No, I wouldn't, you're just assuming things about me, nobody should ever be in a position of leaving their parents for anyone, hence my specification 'guy/gal'

Most people would be in that position if their parents didn’t let them marry. We’re being a bit self righteous here since this behavior is very unusual. Marrying is a human right.

View attachment 296940

 

[Chase]

How is that even applicable to the story? Do you see what I mean when I’m saying you’re allowing your emotions to over take you? This isn’t a story about a girl making a Somali man pay more or having higher standards. It’s about a girl whose parents rejected a man she wanted for stupid reasons and then realizing that her family probably want to use her as a ‘cash cow’ hence the secrecy. But you’re so concerned about other narratives you’ve heard that you’re projecting this on to this story?!

That’s my issue, you’re not pointing a discrepancy, you’ve literally twisted the whole story! Your point would only make sense if the girl was allowed to marry the Somali man, but things didn’t work out and then got herself an ajnabi and tried to do things secretly with no Mehr ect. But what is happening is that her parents aren’t even allowing her to marry at all which is which is why she’s been forced to be secret. You’re purposely left out that key fact and are leaving out the nuance of that story. You can’t even see that part since you’re so obessed with the idea of an ajnabi getting a woman for a free when that hardly even happens! That’s insane.

Why didn't she elope with the Mali guy, if she knew beforehand her parents were pressuring her to not get married and stop focusing on men?

Let's agree to disagree here.

 

[Karbaaash]

Im sorry, but you’re coming across as childish here. There is nothing romantic about having a secret girlfriend/boyfriend. You’re mad if you think someone puts you on a pedestal if they’re keeping you a secret.

Do you hear yourself? cadaan people has boyfriends & secret ons/off, they dont ask for mehr and happily do 50/50. The Faraax should be happy he dodged the bullet, the pedastal is quite clear > Somali girl wanted a nikkah mehr with the faraax. Didnt happen > she cut contact why didnt she turn the ”muslim faraax, into her ”hiden bf”. now she got a ” secret” muslim ajnabi bf.

in her mind like many Somali girls they think the ajnabis hide their ceeb lol. Wallahi just last night on swedish tiktok a congolese exposed a xalimo his friend slept with n said next day she was walking with hijab. Were not kids Angelina we kno what goes on in ur mind u want protect the image of ur sisters and yh das okey.

Nah it’s a perfect example of parents playing games and then seeing the consequences. She tried to get married to a Somali man and her parents said no for no reason and now she’s with an ajnabi, jokes on them. As for the closed or open leg reference that’s nasty. OP never gave the impression they’re sleeping together and we shouldn’t go down that route.

Yes, her parents got nobody to blame apart from themself, the Faraax dodged a bullet which we both agree. n yes shes spreading her legs or you think her bf is khaniis? stop being gullible.

I don’t understand you? She literally tried to marry a Somali man and what do her parents do? Reject him for no reason. Why are you now going on and on about IR relationships?

Read the comments i responded too. Context matter