Has anyone ever come across Somali parents that don’t let their daughters get married?

[empressjamila]

Nah it’s a perfect example of parents playing games and then seeing the consequences. She tried to get married to a Somali man and her parents said no for no reason and now she’s with an ajnabi, jokes on them. As for the closed or open leg reference that’s nasty. OP never gave the impression they’re sleeping together and we shouldn’t go down that route.

I don’t understand you? She literally tried to marry a Somali man and what do her parents do? Reject him for no reason. Why are you now going on and on about IR relationships?

Yes he was a Somali man. I lowkey do think the rejection may have been because of qabil reasons (her family is from the north and y’all know how they feel about southerners/people from other regions) but she told me her family said it was because of his lack of education and blue collar job

 

[Dualke]

From what I know they’re just seeing each other, but it’s being kept secret from her family. Idk if it’s a physical relationship or not

Did the xalimo cut off the farah after her family rejected him or was it the other way around?

 

[empressjamila]

Did the xalimo cut off the farah after her family rejected him or was it the other way around?

It was mutual. He suggested they end things because he thought all the drama wasn’t worth it and it would be easier for them to part ways, and she agreed with him

 

[Macawisley]

It was mutual. He suggested they end things because he thought all the drama wasn’t worth it and it would be easier for them to part ways, and she agreed with him

That’s a real man, he knew the marriage wouldn’t work out without the parents approval especially the father’s. I feel sad for him because he did nothing wrong. Respectful and approached the right doors, rejected and moved on.

None of this secret boyfriend shit is gonna end well for her so she might as well give this ajnabi the boot, sit down with her parents and ask them what are their expectations because we still don’t know if the parents don’t want her to get married or if they have specific Qaabil preferences (because the somali guy was denied because of Qaabil 100%) etc idk it’s a sticky situation to be in regardless having Ajnabi secret boyfriend ain’t gonna make it better it will only ruin things for her.

 

[reer]

Northerners and Southerners are the same in that regard. Somalis tend to give gold upfront which ain’t part of the Mehr and the Mehr later. You’ve just admitted that you don’t know about the Mehr, so you have no idea if he gave it to her and tbh he seems wealthy so it’s a non issue, but most men aren’t in that situation and most Somalis ask for 3K to 5k.

i think its when you are seeking a girls hand in marriage. you and your family go to her family and give gifts.

 

[reer]

Because her parents don’t want her to marry full stop and marrying is a human right. They have not right to prevent her from marrying in general so that they can use her like a cash cow. Her main issue isn’t even the fact that the second guy is ajnabi. It’s the fact that she’s trying to marry since they also rubbished the Somali guy.

I don’t understand your last point but if a Somali man tried to marry a Somali girl and his parents then said no for no reason just so that they can gain access to his finances, I’d completely understand if she secretly got to know someone else, Somali or ajnabi as they’re at fault for trying to get in the way of something halal just so that they can use his money.

kkk you really believe that? they probably dont want her to marry the ajnabi guy and are making up an excuse instead of just "no ajnabi" which could cause a major ruckus.

 

[Karbaaash]

From what I know they’re seeing each other, but it’s being kept secret from her family.

There we go, some people in this thread doing overwork tryna save their Xalimos reputation, they must take us as fools. Dont fall for it boyz!

 

[Karbaaash]

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Ur talking ab somali men paying low mehr but forget about the expenses Somali men contribute to their wifes life & families. The money Somali men send back to their wifes family MONTHLY, if they put that into funds by now they would all been financially free, ur forgetten about the 50/50 ajnabis x xalimos live with. Has ur cousins ajnabi husband ever setup a business for ur familymembers back home or paid a 500 hospital bill? NO! my dad has for my mother brothers & n stil help my mums family out 23 yrs later. Lay it off Angelina.

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Somali men make up less than 0.000001 of all security workers & warehouse workers in the western world, the 99.9% ajnabi men are all married aswell? i actually dont understand your point do you except every women get a 100k+ man?

 

[Angelina]

Ur talking ab somali men paying low mehr but forget about the expenses Somali men contribute to their wifes life & families.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was born and raised in the West and any young man marrying isn’t going to giving his Western living in laws money unless he marries a fob from back home. So silly point

The money Somali men send back to their wifes family MONTHLY, if they put that into a investment fund by now they would all been financially free, ur forgetten about the 50/50 ajnabis x xalimos live with.

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Has ur cousins ajnabi husband ever setup a business for ur familymembers back home or paid a 500 hospital bill? NO! my dad has for my mother brothers & n stil help my mums family out 23 yrs later. Lay it off Angelina.

Why would be do that?! My uncle has been in the West for more 30 yrs with his own life? He doesn’t even get money from his Somali in-laws?! That’s ceeb!

Somali men make up less than 0.000001 of all security workers & warehouse workers in the western world, the 99.9% ajnabi men are all married aswell? i actually dont understand your point do you except every women get a 100k+ man?

My point is, in Europe a lot of Somali men are in low paid jobs and have no problems marrying. It’s as simple as that.

 

[Karbaaash]

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was born and raised in the West and any young man marrying isn’t going to giving his Western living in laws money unless he marries a fob from back home. So silly point

Angelina stop being a hypocrite, you said Somali women receive low mehr, 80% of all married Somali women in the west are fobs, you also told people in this thread go ask your elders if they received their Mehr. Now you wasnt speaking about your gen. But the generation who does send money to their inlaws back home. Stop tryna twist and turn.

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Why would be do that?! My uncle has been in the West for more 30 yrs with his own life? He doesn’t even get money from his Somali in-laws?! That’s ceeb!

Are you daft? did your aboo not send money to your hooyos family back home or was that not a practise done in ur family? ur mother must have cousins? extended family? anytime they was in need my dad sent it. btw nobody is speaking about financially helping western living Somalis.

So what if they sent benefit money? dont ajnabis take benefit money? do they send that to their inlaws? u just keep going lower and lower. Some of u girls has anti-somali rhetoric even when pointing out that Faraaxs has 100x more expenses you keep tryna argue and bring up ”mehr” n ”benefit money”.

My point is, in Europe a lot of Somali men are in low paid jobs and have no problems marrying. It’s as simple as that.

Yes like all men in the western world?

 

[Abdisamad]

Is she unattractive? Is she the least favourite? Those are usually the reasons why narcissists keep their daughters from getting hitched.

Lol reminds me of Thanos two adopted daughters

 

[Nass010]

Please tell me this then, why didn't she choose to elope with the Mali guy?

So when it's with your own, it's all about procedure and doing it the 'right' way, but when it comes to Ajanabi, all of a sudden it turns into a romantic fairy tale getaway?

Please

This is exactly the villain arc of northafrican trolls, tyrone and steve got it for free while hamza needs to marry for it. Basically cuck antics

 

[Nass010]

One thing about this Telenovela story that doesn’t add up is where are the girl’s extended family? Where are her grandparents, uncles, her aunts, her brothers, her sisters? Somali children are usually raised by more individuals than just the parents. If the girl actually brought home a Somali brother, why didn’t she plead with her other relatives to change her parents minds? Why didn’t they involve the Sheikh or Imam of the local mosque that they and their parents attend?

I also reject the theory that her parents are holding her back for monetary reasons, because how did they support themselves all those years that the girl in question was a child and then a student? It’s all wishy-washy to me, and I suspect the entire family agreed with the parents, and didn’t intervene, because the original suitor wasn’t Somali (God is watching you Jamila, be honest).

Marriage in of itself is one of the most welcomed institutions in the eyes of Somali parents, almost universally.

Yeah he probably wasnt somali

 

[Chillin]

I only heard one instance where a family wouldn’t let their daughter marry someone, I was talking to someone who had a friend from Sierra Leone Allahumabarik he had his life together was fit had a nice job and was a good guy but when the dad saw he wasn’t Somali the shit went to the drain

 

[Yami]

I only heard one instance where a family wouldn’t let their daughter marry someone, I was talking to someone who had a friend from Sierra Leone Allahumabarik he had his life together was fit had a nice job and was a good guy but when the dad saw he wasn’t Somali the shit went to the drain

Must be ropetier tryna marry out as a Somali woman holy

 

[Chillin]

Must be ropetier tryna marry out as a Somali woman holy

It’s happening more often now I’m guessing parents have cooled down a bit

 

[techsamatar]

Lol the new guy is nin ajanabi. But he’s born Muslim and a good guy. They make a very cute couple tbh I hope they’re endgame <3

Bruh if the first guy she brought and they rejected was somali, I dont think having secret ajnabi bf would make the situation any better tell her if that guy is allowing it he is not looking to take her serious as if he is proper muslim would have approached her parents to marry her and if they refuse for any dumb reason in islam can still proceed with sheikh.

 

[Yami]

Bruh if the first guy she brought and they rejected was somali, I dont think having secret ajnabi bf would make the situation any better tell her if that guy is allowing it he is not looking to take her serious as if he is proper muslim would have approached her parents to marry her and if they refuse for any dumb reason in islam can still proceed with sheikh.

She should’ve just married the first guy. Don’t get the point of going all this with a new guy when blue collar boy is one call away

 

[techsamatar]

Northerners and Southerners are the same in that regard. Somalis tend to give gold upfront which ain’t part of the Mehr and the Mehr later. You’ve just admitted that you don’t know about the Mehr, so you have no idea if he gave it to her and tbh he seems wealthy so it’s a non issue, but most men aren’t in that situation and most Somalis ask for 3K to 5k.

Indeed, the gold given in our customs fulfills the definition of mehr in Islamic marriage contracts. It serves as a gift from the groom to the bride, aligning with the traditional and religious requirements of mehr.

Definition - In Islam, the mehr, also known as mahr or mahr sadāq, is a mandatory payment/ Gift that the groom gives to the bride as a sign of his commitment and to provide financial security for her in the marriage. The mehr can be in any form, such as money, property, or jewelry, and it is up to the couple to decide how much it will be.

our traditional customs, wherein my sister received gold and dahab as her mehr, along with other upfront contributions, which sum up to approximately 40k when accounting for wedding expenses. Isn't the gold given as mehr sufficient? Moreover, considering the additional expenses, the responsibility falls on the groom to cover all costs. I appreciate the Somali practice of providing gold and dahab upfront; it not only preserves our customs but also proves to be a wise investment for the future.

Mehr is considered as the 20k in gold that a Somali man gives his wife as a gift in the Nikkah ceremony. It is announced by the Sheikh during the ceremony, and it is a literal gift and investment as gold increases in value. In the past, Muslims used to give shields and swords as Mehr, and in the Badiyo, my father did not even give my mother gold because his family were nomads, but when he became more successful, he gave her gold.

 

[Gacmeey]

Mehr (also spelled mahr, mahar, or mehrieh) is a mandatory gift given by the groom to the bride in an Islamic marriage contract. It is a symbol of respect and appreciation for the bride, and it also serves as a financial security blanket for her in case of divorce or the husband's death.

There is no basis for this in the Quran or sunnah.