Guys in late 20s early 30s come in

[Ismail Khan]

I prefer my chicks when they hatch but that is me

 

[Inquisitive_]

seriously

It's all covert not overt, you'd be surprised that a lot of these friendships among female it's foundations are built from sand.

They are always eager to tell you an all to common story about betrayal, backstabbing and pure envy from her close friends.

It's the norm with the majority, and they are so petty that even when it comes to marriage, there is competition among the bridegrooms on who looks the best and the biggest beef is when one of them is perceived as trying to outdo the bride.

I have never known a more pettier backstabbing group and even in work places you get no reprieve from them, always hating on each other in private but all smiles together.

They are always in petty competition against each other, not sure what you are surprised they wouldn't do the same for a guy, because they compete against each other for much less then that.

I've been in enough situations like that to know there is no real element of mystery in most cases. Women have good intuition and men's body language usually betrays them.

Most girls have been in a group setting in which guys have approached and the girls (friends) know WHO he really likes, in fact if we all think he is a catch, we secretly gesture to her to show a bit of interest and engage in with the banter ect.
.

I agree with you and we use to make the same mistakes by trying to isolate or give too much attention to a particular female or any other obvious signs to the group, this is amateurish behavior.

But over time we learned from it and never did it again, the reason for this was simple, you might not even find that girl interesting after the conversations begins, but as a result of your action you end up blocking yourself from others in the group.

We had a policy of no flirting and nothing overt with no isolation, just banter with the entire group as a whole not individuals, they had absolutely ZERO idea, and the element of mystery was in the air.

Your experience was with amateurs which we all were at some point who are so obvious to read and most of us never got out of that phase, the fact you guys encouraged the girl shows how good spirited your group was.

We did not get that benefit of the doubt, the girl automatically and by default would reject as to not appear "cheap" in the eyes of her friends.

The most difficult part about this was the alpha girl in the group whom almost always was the least attractive girl in the group as well.

They are the champions of c**blocking and very mean spirited too (ugliness begets hate) by far the greatest obstacle to a good conversation and banter with a group, she is the front-door you have to break first before you can explore the entire room in peace.

To disarm her quickly we always began the banter with her, falsely stroking her ego in reverse psychology fashion praising her leadership style over the group and how she stood out with a cheeky smile.

This immediately puts her on the back-foot and switches her psychological state from default co**blocking to trying to proof otherwise.

In fact much of the banter goes through her as to quell her deep seated hatred which can burst out at any moment when she feels isolated, if the group was fun its one big conversation, if it was dead, we would cut it in two.

In the end we would rarely take or exchange numbers, on a few occasions they would ask us as we were leaving, or they would find you on FB with the younger demographic, complete reverse.

There is no need to commit to anything unless you find an exception which was extremely rare due to our high standards.

In exceptional cases were the group was good enough to test further, we would suggest a fun event and offer them the number and also invite some of the amateurish guys we know to balance the numbers out, this was an exceptional way to further test them.

Committing to person before you have even had the chance to do thorough due diligence checks on them is an amateurish behavior which sadly many male's never grow out off.

This is a quick way to ruin your reputation and status in a community when you jump from one chick to another, it shows your a person of low value with no social intelligence.

 

[Yonis]

?? I thought you were like 21??

You write like a dhoocil.

Same

 

[Cagmadhige]

Looool if you marry ANY somali girl over the age of 23 shame on you

Ur certainly marrying a girl who ain't a virgin

 

[Helios]

Spoiler

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Scarborough

 

[HalimaJ]

It's all covert not overt, you'd be surprised that a lot of these friendships among female it's foundations are built from sand.

They are always eager to tell you an all to common story about betrayal, backstabbing and pure envy from her close friends.

It's the norm with the majority, and they are so petty that even when it comes to marriage, there is competition among the bridegrooms on who looks the best and the biggest beef is when one of them is perceived as trying to outdo the bride.

I have never known a more pettier backstabbing group and even in work places you get no reprieve from them, always hating on each other in private but all smiles together.

They are always in petty competition against each other, not sure what you are surprised they wouldn't do the same for a guy, because they compete against each other for much less then that.

I agree with you and we use to make the same mistakes by trying to isolate or give too much attention to a particular female or any other obvious signs to the group, this is amateurish behavior.

But over time we learned from it and never did it again, the reason for this was simple, you might not even find that girl interesting after the conversations begins, but as a result of your action you end up blocking yourself from others in the group.

We had a policy of no flirting and nothing overt with no isolation, just banter with the entire group as a whole not individuals, they had absolutely ZERO idea, and the element of mystery was in the air.

Your experience was with amateurs which we all were at some point who are so obvious to read and most of us never got out of that phase, the fact you guys encouraged the girl shows how good spirited your group was.

We did not get that benefit of the doubt, the girl automatically and by default would reject as to not appear "cheap" in the eyes of her friends.

The most difficult part about this was the alpha girl in the group whom almost always was the least attractive girl in the group as well.

They are the champions of c**blocking and very mean spirited too (ugliness begets hate) by far the greatest obstacle to a good conversation and banter with a group, she is the front-door you have to break first before you can explore the entire room in peace.

To disarm her quickly we always began the banter with her, falsely stroking her ego in reverse psychology fashion praising her leadership style over the group and how she stood out with a cheeky smile.

This immediately puts her on the back-foot and switches her psychological state from default co**blocking to trying to proof otherwise.

In fact much of the banter goes through her as to quell her deep seated hatred which can burst out at any moment when she feels isolated, if the group was fun its one big conversation, if it was dead, we would cut it in two.

In the end we would rarely take or exchange numbers, on a few occasions they would ask us as we were leaving, or they would find you on FB with the younger demographic, complete reverse.

There is no need to commit to anything unless you find an exception which was extremely rare due to our high standards.

In exceptional cases were the group was good enough to test further, we would suggest a fun event and offer them the number and also invite some of the amateurish guys we know to balance the numbers out, this was an exceptional way to further test them.

Committing to person before you have even had the chance to do thorough due diligence checks on them is an amateurish behavior which sadly many male's never grow out off.

This is a quick way to ruin your reputation and status in a community when you jump from one chick to another, it shows your a person of low value with no social intelligence.

Women who don't see men as being the be all and end all, make the best of friends. I can hands down say a lot of my friends are confident women who don't place their self esteem on men. I have always disliked girls who place lots of importance in men, for the simple fact that they will throw you under the bus for male validation. Just ewww

We all have highs and lows, but understanding that what is written for you shall never evade you, is an important mindset to have.

Furthermore, being petty and vindictive towards friends is shaaqo La'aan behaviour. We are all busy proffessional women, with some juggling side businesses ect.

 

[Inquisitive_]

We all have highs and lows, but understanding that what is written for you shall never evade you, is an important mindset to have.

I agree with your message except the Qadr part.

I remember my Father once saying in a discussion to someone using Qadr as justification "that only fool uses that".

The idea behind that statement is that you struggle and strive to your utmost potential and when that potential is not reached despite your work and the outcome went the other way, then you say "Qadr"

But the fool is the one who never struggles or strives in the first place and doesn't' seek out the means that Allah made available to him but he clings on to "Qadr" as justification when he sees an undesirable inevitable outcome as a result of his laziness and ineptitude.

If this is not understood correctly, you will reach a point were so many outcomes you desired go the opposite way as a result of your lack of work, that it could potentially effect your iman down the road.

This issue goes back to the sahabah when Caliph Umar beat a group of Zuhaad's who sat all day in the mosque saying there Rizq comes from Allah because of there false understandings.

I see this disease so often in Muslims that Caliph Umar regularly used to seek refuge with the follow.

"O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the stamina of the wicked person and from the feebleness that accompanies (a false) confidence.

 

[INTJ]

Committing to person before you have even had the chance to do thorough due diligence checks on them is an amateurish behavior which sadly many male's never grow out off.

This is a quick way to ruin your reputation and status in a community when you jump from one chick to another, it shows your a person of low value with no social intelligence.

If only someone told me that back in my early 20....now I have every xalimo in the community calling me her ex

 

[HalimaJ]

I agree with your message except the Qadr part.

I remember my Father once saying in a discussion to someone using Qadr as justification "that only fool uses that".

The idea behind that statement is that you struggle and strive to your utmost potential and when that potential is not reached despite your work and the outcome went the other way, then you say "Qadr"

But the fool is the one who never struggles or strives in the first place and doesn't' seek out the means that Allah made available to him but he clings on to "Qadr" as justification when he sees an undesirable inevitable outcome as a result of his laziness and ineptitude.

If this is not understood correctly, you will reach a point were so many outcomes you desired go the opposite way as a result of your lack of work, that it could potentially effect your iman down the road.

This issue goes back to the sahabah when Caliph Umar beat a group of Zuhaad's who sat all day in the mosque saying there Rizq comes from Allah because of there false understandings.

I see this disease so often in Muslims that Caliph Umar regularly used to seek refuge with the follow.

"O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the stamina of the wicked person and from the feebleness that accompanies (a false) confidence.

I completely understand, a lot of the things that I have are things that I have worked and strived for with the blessings of Allah.

One must tie their camel and believe in qadr at the same time. If you do not then, you will go down a dark path and believe that you are in control of everything. And the other extreme is blaming everything on qadr and then amounting to nothing, due to not taking control.

Moderation is key walaal.

 

[Inquisitive_]

If only someone told me that back in my early 20....now I have every xalimo in the community calling me her ex

There is no hope lost bro, the only thing you need to do now is to fish in ponds much further away then the one you made dirty.

I made the same mistake too in a foreign pond I inadvertently made dirty without even knowing or meaning to, we all go through this amateurish phase.

 

[HalimaJ]

I agree with your message except the Qadr part.

I remember my Father once saying in a discussion to someone using Qadr as justification "that only fool uses that".

The idea behind that statement is that you struggle and strive to your utmost potential and when that potential is not reached despite your work and the outcome went the other way, then you say "Qadr"

But the fool is the one who never struggles or strives in the first place and doesn't' seek out the means that Allah made available to him but he clings on to "Qadr" as justification when he sees an undesirable inevitable outcome as a result of his laziness and ineptitude.

If this is not understood correctly, you will reach a point were so many outcomes you desired go the opposite way as a result of your lack of work, that it could potentially effect your iman down the road.

This issue goes back to the sahabah when Caliph Umar beat a group of Zuhaad's who sat all day in the mosque saying there Rizq comes from Allah because of there false understandings.

I see this disease so often in Muslims that Caliph Umar regularly used to seek refuge with the follow.

"O Allah, I seek refuge in you from the stamina of the wicked person and from the feebleness that accompanies (a false) confidence.

Also, my point was to do with marriage and being envious because a man is more interested in a friend or other girls you know marry before you.

If you have self confidence and know that man has not been written for you and it has been written for your friend to marry before you, why would you be petty?

We don't all have the same timeline and that is fine. Work on yourself and try to be the best possible version that a person would/will be attracted to and also make dua, then Inshaallah someone will appear.

When women are made to feel men are their 'everything' and don't have a healthy understanding of qadr, that is when qualities such as pettiness and low self esteem rears its ugly head.

 

[Inquisitive_]

If you have self confidence and know that man has not been written for you and it has been written for your friend to marry before you, why would you be petty?

How on earth would you know this?.

We don't all have the same timeline and that is fine. Work on yourself and try to be the best possible version that a person would/will be attracted to and also make dua and strive seeking out the means made available to you by Allah, then Inshaallah someone will appear.

Fixed.

When women are made to feel men are their 'everything' and don't have a healthy understanding of qadr, that is when qualities such as pettiness and low self esteem rears its ugly head.

Agreed, if your not happy and content with yourself to begin with, no partner will ever make you happy or content, but somehow misery loves company unfortunately.

The problem today is that the majority of males/females in the diaspora due to straying far from the religion, are spiritually dead and when your spiritually dead you are never happy nor content with life.

You will forever run around in circles in life chasing after one thing or the other in the hope it will fill that gaping void.

Its no wonder our Prophet peace and blessings be upon him advised to go for the religious one if you want success, because this is a person that is already content and at peace.

 

[HalimaJ]

How on earth would you know this?.


Fixed.

Agreed, if your not happy and content with yourself to begin with, no partner will ever make you happy or content, but somehow misery loves company unfortunately.

The problem today is that the majority of males/females in the diaspora due to straying far from the religion, are spiritually dead and when your spiritually dead you are never happy nor content with life.

You will forever run around in circles in life chasing after one thing or the other in the hope it will fill that gaping void.

Its no wonder our Prophet peace and blessings be upon him advised to go for the religious one if you want success, because this is a person that is already content and at peace.

The bit bold: i'm talking about situations in which women become jealous of their friend, because a particular guy is showing interest to their friend and not them. That man who, who is not interested in you, is clearly not the one.

Also, although marriage is something both men and women should seek, women cannot be real go getters in that regards as they are ones that are pursued not the other way around. The most you can do is put yourself out there by getting friends and family to introduce people to you and giving decent men a real chance.

 

[Sophisticate]

There is no hope lost bro, the only thing you need to do now is to fish in ponds much further away then the one you made dirty.

I made the same mistake too in a foreign pond I inadvertently made dirty without even knowing or meaning to, we all go through this amateurish phase.

What goes around comes around.

I can safely say I have not burned bridges wasting time on men in my youth hence why I have good social relations and no female rivals. Buuq is not worth it. And men are not worth fighting for. There is never anything they can provide in abundance that warrants feuding anyway. Perhaps your former associates did not get the memo.

 

[Inquisitive_]

The bit bold: i'm talking about situations in which women become jealous of their friend, because a particular guy is showing interest to their friend and not them. That man who, who is not interested in you, is clearly not the one.

Also, although marriage is something both men and women should seek, women cannot be real go getters in that regards as they are ones that are pursued not the other way around. The most you can do is put yourself out there by getting friends and family to introduce people to you and giving decent men a real chance.

Cool I misunderstood you because "putting yourself out there" was not part of the message, thanks for clearing it up.

As you alluded to, the perpetual self-improvement is something the vast majority of male's or female's never engage in, and if you just put in 20% of your effort towards this on a daily or weekly basis, over time you pull ahead so far from the competition there is simply zero competition.

The quality male with substance will always select you over your friend even if she happens to look better then you in ways that is genetic and out of your hand, only a fool primarily selects a female on looks only.

The one who selects your slacking friend, is the type you would never consider anyway, if anything you would feel sorry for your friend because being stuck in a quagmire is never a good thing.

You will never worry about jealousy or envy if you put the work in, insecurity and a lack of confidence is a sign you simply haven't worked on yourself and the worst form of self-deterioration.

The ancient people understood this concept which is lost today, and this working on yourself is in every area, spiritual, emotional, religious, health, fitness, intellectual, knowledge wise etc.

You wouldn't even be attracted to someone that is lacking this, and someone that has it would never select someone that doesn't over yourself, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What goes around comes around.

I can safely say I have not burned bridges wasting time on men in my youth hence why I have good social relations and no female rivals. Buuq is not worth it. And men are not worth fighting for. There is never anything they can provide in abundance that warrants feuding anyway. Perhaps your former associates did not get the memo.

Here is were I disagree with you and @HalimaJ and the majority of female's, you guys have way to much pride and pride comes before fall.

In this day and age quality is rare and in short supply, so when you come across quality that is compatible, the worst thing you can do is have a nonchalant blase type of attitude as you have with lower quality stock, you treat the person as God sent.

You grab the bull by the horn and this does not mean trying to impress the person, ask them out or beg them.

It means that if your a male, you close the deal quickly and if your a female it implies being open and receptive to the person in ways you otherwise wouldn't be.

The issue you appear to suffer from is delusion of grandeur and analysis paralysis.

An overinflated self-worth even if justified is never a good thing because it hampers you in life that is already difficult and short, the whole purpose you are her is to worship your creator and maximize your eternal life, and the greatest gift and means to obtain this is raising righteous children.

Otherwise the "When I could I didn't, now I can't, I'd love too" will destroy you down the line especially in your 40's as it already has done to many females.

Someone like yourself shouldn't even struggle because I consider you top 3 on this forum.

But I know full well what's holding you back and that is the delusions of grandeur carefully masked by excellent humor and brilliant wit, which I can see right through.

I have come across your types before, as good as they are in comparison to the majority of obtuse stupid female's I despise.

Your types like @Saredo tend to (for the most part not all) suffer from a unique disease which is very common among the intellectual class of today.

There universal distaste for religion or religiosity; for there all there brilliance, they fail miserably in that, and this is something I can never overlook.

 

[Emily]

How do some people go for 18-20 year olds ? They are not even established or even have enough patience and maturity for marriage

 

[HalimaJ]

Cool I misunderstood you because "putting yourself out there" was not part of the message, thanks for clearing it up.

As you alluded to, the perpetual self-improvement is something the vast majority of male's or female's never engage in, and if you just put in 20% of your effort towards this on a daily or weekly basis, over time you pull ahead so far from the competition there is simply zero competition.

The quality male with substance will always select you over your friend even if she happens to look better then you in ways that is genetic and out of your hand, only a fool primarily selects a female on looks only.

The one who selects your slacking friend, is the type you would never consider anyway, if anything you would feel sorry for your friend because being stuck in a quagmire is never a good thing.

You will never worry about jealousy or envy if you put the work in, insecurity and a lack of confidence is a sign you simply haven't worked on yourself and the worst form of self-deterioration.

The ancient people understood this concept which is lost today, and this working on yourself is in every area, spiritual, emotional, religious, health, fitness, intellectual, knowledge wise etc.

You wouldn't even be attracted to someone that is lacking this, and someone that has it would never select someone that doesn't over yourself, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here is were I disagree with you and @HalimaJ and the majority of female's, you guys have way to much pride and pride comes before fall.

In this day and age quality is rare and in short supply, so when you come across quality that is compatible, the worst thing you can do is have a nonchalant blase type of attitude as you have with lower quality stock, you treat the person as God sent.

You grab the bull by the horn and this does not mean trying to impress the person, ask them out or beg them.

It means that if your a male, you close the deal quickly and if your a female it implies being open and receptive to the person in ways you otherwise wouldn't be.

The issue you appear to suffer from is delusion of grandeur and analysis paralysis.

An overinflated self-worth even if justified is never a good thing because it hampers you in life that is already difficult and short, the whole purpose you are her is to worship your creator and maximize your eternal life, and the greatest gift and means to obtain this is raising righteous children.

Otherwise the "When I could I didn't, now I can't, I'd love too" will destroy you down the line especially in your 40's as it already has done to many females.

Someone like yourself shouldn't even struggle because I consider you top 3 on this forum.

But I know full well what's holding you back and that is delusions of grandeur that carefully masked by excellent humor and brilliant wit, but I can see right through it.

I think working on yourself is very important if you want to get the best type of guy/girl possible. I could have married young, but I knew deep down when I was in my early 20s, I wasn't in the best mind frame and there were parts of myself I wanted to better and develop before I even deal with another human on a deeper level.

I'm married btw. But I did struggle, but that was largely due to the fact that I moved to a different part of the world with not a lot of educated western Faraxs and the ones that I met were either decent but not attractive or full of personality or good looking and charismatic, but not husband material.

Trust me, when a woman meets a guy she feels is the 'one'. All feelings of grandeur goes out the window

 

[Saredo]

Cool I misunderstood you because "putting yourself out there" was not part of the message, thanks for clearing it up.

As you alluded to, the perpetual self-improvement is something the vast majority of male's or female's never engage in, and if you just put in 20% of your effort towards this on a daily or weekly basis, over time you pull ahead so far from the competition there is simply zero competition.

The quality male with substance will always select you over your friend even if she happens to look better then you in ways that is genetic and out of your hand, only a fool primarily selects a female on looks only.

The one who selects your slacking friend, is the type you would never consider anyway, if anything you would feel sorry for your friend because being stuck in a quagmire is never a good thing.

You will never worry about jealousy or envy if you put the work in, insecurity and a lack of confidence is a sign you simply haven't worked on yourself and the worst form of self-deterioration.

The ancient people understood this concept which is lost today, and this working on yourself is in every area, spiritual, emotional, religious, health, fitness, intellectual, knowledge wise etc.

You wouldn't even be attracted to someone that is lacking this, and someone that has it would never select someone that doesn't over yourself, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here is were I disagree with you and @HalimaJ and the majority of female's, you guys have way to much pride and pride comes before fall.

In this day and age quality is rare and in short supply, so when you come across quality that is compatible, the worst thing you can do is have a nonchalant blase type of attitude as you have with lower quality stock, you treat the person as God sent.

You grab the bull by the horn and this does not mean trying to impress the person, ask them out or beg them.

It means that if your a male, you close the deal quickly and if your a female it implies being open and receptive to the person in ways you otherwise wouldn't be.

The issue you appear to suffer from is delusion of grandeur and analysis paralysis.

An overinflated self-worth even if justified is never a good thing because it hampers you in life that is already difficult and short, the whole purpose you are her is to worship your creator and maximize your eternal life, and the greatest gift and means to obtain this is raising righteous children.

Otherwise the "When I could I didn't, now I can't, I'd love too" will destroy you down the line especially in your 40's as it already has done to many females.

Someone like yourself shouldn't even struggle because I consider you top 3 on this forum.

But I know full well what's holding you back and that is the delusions of grandeur carefully masked by excellent humor and brilliant wit, which I can see right through.

I have come across your types before, as good as they are in comparison to the majority of obtuse stupid female's I despise.

Your types like @Saredo tend to (for the most part not all) suffer from a unique disease which is very common among the intellectual class of today.

There universal distaste for religion or religiosity; for there all there brilliance, they fail miserably in that, and this is something I can never overlook.

waryahe. I suffer from no diseases. I work on myself a lot ( brain and body) but I am also very humble. I am open and let good men ( those who take their deen seriously, intellectuals) approach me.

 

[Helios]

Keep preaching @Inquisitive_ im taking notes for when I dive into this marriage market. I'm too young now

 

[HalimaJ]

Cool I misunderstood you because "putting yourself out there" was not part of the message, thanks for clearing it up.

As you alluded to, the perpetual self-improvement is something the vast majority of male's or female's never engage in, and if you just put in 20% of your effort towards this on a daily or weekly basis, over time you pull ahead so far from the competition there is simply zero competition.

The quality male with substance will always select you over your friend even if she happens to look better then you in ways that is genetic and out of your hand, only a fool primarily selects a female on looks only.

The one who selects your slacking friend, is the type you would never consider anyway, if anything you would feel sorry for your friend because being stuck in a quagmire is never a good thing.

You will never worry about jealousy or envy if you put the work in, insecurity and a lack of confidence is a sign you simply haven't worked on yourself and the worst form of self-deterioration.

The ancient people understood this concept which is lost today, and this working on yourself is in every area, spiritual, emotional, religious, health, fitness, intellectual, knowledge wise etc.

You wouldn't even be attracted to someone that is lacking this, and someone that has it would never select someone that doesn't over yourself, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here is were I disagree with you and @HalimaJ and the majority of female's, you guys have way to much pride and pride comes before fall.

In this day and age quality is rare and in short supply, so when you come across quality that is compatible, the worst thing you can do is have a nonchalant blase type of attitude as you have with lower quality stock, you treat the person as God sent.

You grab the bull by the horn and this does not mean trying to impress the person, ask them out or beg them.

It means that if your a male, you close the deal quickly and if your a female it implies being open and receptive to the person in ways you otherwise wouldn't be.

The issue you appear to suffer from is delusion of grandeur and analysis paralysis.

An overinflated self-worth even if justified is never a good thing because it hampers you in life that is already difficult and short, the whole purpose you are her is to worship your creator and maximize your eternal life, and the greatest gift and means to obtain this is raising righteous children.

Otherwise the "When I could I didn't, now I can't, I'd love too" will destroy you down the line especially in your 40's as it already has done to many females.

Someone like yourself shouldn't even struggle because I consider you top 3 on this forum.

But I know full well what's holding you back and that is the delusions of grandeur carefully masked by excellent humor and brilliant wit, which I can see right through.

I have come across your types before, as good as they are in comparison to the majority of obtuse stupid female's I despise.

Your types like @Saredo tend to (for the most part not all) suffer from a unique disease which is very common among the intellectual class of today.

There universal distaste for religion or religiosity; for there all there brilliance, they fail miserably in that, and this is something I can never overlook.

I'm married btw.


I think self improvement is very important if you want to attract the best possible man/woman. Even though no one is perfect, why would you expect someone to put up with your toxic/bad habit? I could have married in my early 20s, but there was a part of me that felt that there was a lot I needed to develop before I even considered opening myself up to someone on a deeper level.


Also, you underestimate women too much. Trust me, when the right man comes along, or the one they deem to potentially be the one, most forms of grandeur goes out of the window. It was definitely the case for me.

Sometimes for women and I can imagine for men, finding the right person can take time. For some it can be delusions of grandeur for others its a case of not finding someone who is likeminded and attractive due to location ect.