Father of 16 children and husband of three wives. Quran teacher at day and taxi driver by night. Baidoa SWS.

[Angelina]

If people didn't believe that why bring it up ? i mean you were entertaining that idea yourself as to why our country is poverty stricken and backwards. Like i stated earlier there's a difference in claiming that some polygamous unions due to lack of accountability etc lead to poverty etc but my point is why this focus on polygamy when they don't constitute a majority or even half of monogamous unions. Poverty resulting from polygamous marriages is way less than that resulting from monogamous marriages simply due to numbers. There are far more poor women, children etc from monogamous marriages than those from polygamous marriages.

Polygamous unions amongst the poor are common in Somalia and it does result in even more poverty. That’s a fact and studies shows this in many African nations. You’re not understanding the overall point. When a household is already stretched thin due to poverty and a man then uses the little bit of money to marry again, it creates even more of a strain. That’s not to say the family weren’t poor before he decided to get married again. Hence you’ve completed misinterpreted the issue.

I feel like you’re being obtuse for no reason and aren’t seeing the bigger picture.

Poor monogamous men simply outnumber poor polygamous men by a very large margin yet why are people not making the link between poor monogamous men and a country's poverty ? what gives ?

Does a monogamous man with only one wife have to provide for an extra woman and a wedding? Why are you arguing basic common sense? Why does your religion tell poor men not to marry multiple women? Can you stop arguing for the sake of arguing and actually read your points? I’m not being disrespectful, but it wasn’t a very bright point, if you can’t see why money that is stretched even more, creates even more poverty when finance is already an issue?

The only reason i can think of why people would go to such lengths is their hatred & disdain for polygamous men, poverty argument is an after thought

Well duh, because those men that are poor and polygamous were also poor whilst monogamous and have doubled the poverty around them even more via bringing in extra women. Henwhy the whole discussion is about men who were originally poor and monogamous marrying again.

It’s simple and at this point I believe you’re arguing for the sake of it. Even in Islam, poor men are not encouraged to get married again? Why is that? Because ultimately it’s the wife and kids that will suffer more.

If you think it’s haqq for men who live in tin houses that are struggling to feed their current kids and one wife and then to add another burden to the wife and kids, and you think that’s the same as being poor and monogamous, then have a bit of a reflection and stop typing.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Waad saxsantahay as i don't know you or what you do with your time and can only make judgments based on what i see from your interactions here in ss. It's because of that i can make assumptions on what i observe, people engage themselves passionately about things that matter to them the most, given the fact that the societal issues that affect your tol, reer etc why is it that you've never started threads about helping those who're less fortunate from your gobol etc

The characteristics you display is similar to those from, galmudug, hirshabeel, SWS, jubaland. somaliland, ssc etc, there's hardly any positive change you lot bring to your respective qabils other than degrade each other, you don't help the needy & poor of your tol, qabil etc. Consistently attack and use innocent people to score qabil points so as to show how strong you are

Like i said all of this is based on observation and there's always the chance you're displaying another persona while online laakin based on my experience of people that i know in real life who act like you do from my qaabil, tol the chances of me being right about you is higher than the opposite.

3 entire paragraphs about me, based on false assumptions. Adoonka Ilaahay hadaa tahay, orad xikmad raadso.

 

[Celery]

Muslim countries that care about their people have laws such as pre-marital councelling, financial background checks, laws that stipulate wives must be informed about polygamy.
STD tests etc, etc. Because they know this rampant, broke and deceitful polygamy is a recipe for societal collapse.

To give you an example, in the developed world, boys from low-income families are more likely to get into crime. In Somalia, if studies were done, I bet we'd find the same results. Even scarier, they would seek out easy income by joining terror organisations.

"The longer a young person lives in poverty the more likely they are to engage in delinquent behaviour" .

They see people living the good life on Tiktok, so, they'll think to rob the eedo next door, and get a new phone.

As if these kids give a damn that their father is 'laandhere' or works 2 jobs. They'll be rightfully pissed off at having to share that with 3 other families. On top of that, since aabbo is working 2 jobs and migrating from one house to another, does he even have time to figure out which kid is depressed, or on the verge of becoming a criminal? It's all sad and sick.

It’s immoral and unethical people living out their awful fantasies and using religion to justify it

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Polygamous unions amongst the poor are common in Somalia and it does result in even more poverty. That’s a fact and studies shows this in many African nations. You’re not understanding the overall point. When a household is already stretched thin due to poverty and a man then uses the little bit of money to marry again, it creates even more of a strain. That’s not to say the family weren’t poor before he decided to get married again.

I feel like you’re being obtuse for no reason and aren’t seeing the bigger picture.


Well duh, because those men that are poor polygamous were also poor whilst monogamous and have doubled the poverty around them even more via bringing in extra women. We’ve already made that link hence why the whole discussion is about men who were originally poor and monogamous marrying again.

It’s simple and at this point I believe you’re arguing for the sake of it.

He's blatantly lying, since when are polygamous marriages among the poor 'rare'. What utter nonsense. But he wants to pose as a moral authority in this thread, but nary a moral thought spared for the children forced to live in Jiingads.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

Polygamous unions amongst the poor are common in Somalia and it does result in even more poverty. That’s a fact and studies shows this in many African nations. You’re not understanding the overall point. When a household is already stretched thin due to poverty and a man then uses the little bit of money to marry again, it creates even more of a strain. That’s not to say the family weren’t poor before he decided to get married again.

I feel like you’re being obtuse for no reason and aren’t seeing the bigger picture.


Well duh, because those men that are poor polygamous were also poor whilst monogamous and have doubled the poverty around them even more via bringing in extra women. We’ve already made that link hence why the whole discussion is about men who were originally poor and monogamous marrying again.

It’s simple and at this point I believe you’re arguing for the sake of it.

Again i'm not disputing any of that, my argument is that why are you selective and choose to focus on poverty resulting from polygamous marriages while ignoring that from monogamous marriages ? I mean you went to the extent of making a causal link between a country's poverty and polygamous men

For people who claim to care about the poverty levels of a country how is it you're ignoring poor monogamous marriages that constitute the majority of marriages and as such will contribute to poverty levels by higher margins than those resulting from polygamous marriages ? It's a numbers issue and without a doubt poverty resulting from monogamy is far higher than that of polygamy so why the selectivity ?


Like i state poverty is just an after thought and a simply a reason to justify your dislike of polygamous men ?

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

It’s immoral and unethical people living out their awful fantasies and using religion to justify it

Anyone who has ever been to Somalia and seen broke polygamists would just be angry at their behaviour. I saw it with my own eyes, a father with a dozen children, living in a dilapidated house. His children look empty behind the eyes, the wife looked depressed or lobotomised. Guess what he did? He found another woman to bring into that lovely lifestyle. Meanwhile, his lifestyle is subsidised by his male friends.

But of course, you cannot ask them of such things as having mercy on the children, or Allah forbid, financial or family planning. How dare we ask a man to live within his means. How sinful of us.

 

[Angelina]

Again i'm not disputing any of that, my argument is that why are you selective and choose to focus on poverty resulting from polygamous marriages while ignoring that from monogamous marriages

No one is saying polygamy=poverty.

That wasn’t my original argument. It’s poor men engaging in polygamy that causes more poverty. Their poverty was already there whilst monogamous. It’s the fact that very limited resources are being stretched out. It’s basic common sense.

That’s a very simply concept and no one is ignoring people in monogamous marriages being poor as the whole premise is that those men were already poor whilst monogamous.

You’re doing the classic, what about them or what about this? It’s called whataboutism and it doesn’t work in this scenario.

It’s similar to someone saying, some men should stick to one wife if they can’t be fair and then you turn around say ‘what about monogamous men they’re not fair sometimes as well’. You’re verging on silliness at this point, because there is a reason why Allah talks about fairness and affordability when it comes to polygamous unions specifically, since it’s harder in those set ups. Are you now going to question the Quraan and say why does Allah focus on fairness in Poly marriages and not monogamous ones?

 

[mohamedismail]

The choice is simple;

1. Only wealthy men should be polygamous


View attachment 319141

VS​

2. Who cares, let any broke man bring children into abject poverty and misery.

View attachment 319140

Nah this Ai pictures are crazy. Icl I laughed

 

[Angelina]

Again i'm not disputing any of that, my argument is that why are you selective and choose to focus on poverty resulting from polygamous marriages while ignoring that from monogamous marriages ? I mean you went to the extent of making a causal link between a country's poverty and polygamous men

For people who claim to care about the poverty levels of a country how is it you're ignoring poor monogamous marriages that constitute the majority of marriages and as such will contribute to poverty levels by higher margins than those resulting from polygamous marriages ? It's a numbers issue and without a doubt poverty resulting from monogamy is far higher than that of polygamy so why the selectivity ?

You don’t read people’s responses and argue for the sake of it. Poor polygamous men were already poor whilst monogamous, they’ve merely doubled their poverty by stretching their limited resources. It’s as simple as that. They’ve exasperated the situation.

Like i state poverty is just an after thought and a simply a reason to justify your dislike of polygamous men ?

You’re engaging in whataboutism.

I have a simple question:
The Quraan talks about affordibility and fairness in poly marriages and tells men to only stick to one if they can’t.

Does that mean men shouldn’t be fair with one wife? Why isn’t fairness explored in detail in mono marriages compared to poly? Does that mean fairness isn’t cared about in poly marriages? Why is there a focus on polygamous marriages?

Your whataboutism and your inability to understand that poly marriages are simply more challenging when it comes to finances and fairness leads you to this to stupid questioning.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

No one is saying polygamy=poverty.

That wasn’t my original argument. It’s poor men engaging in polygamy that causes more poverty. Their poverty was already there whilst monogamous. It’s the fact that very limited resources are being stretched out. It’s basic common sense.

That’s a very simply concept and no one is ignoring people in monogamous marriages being poor as the whole premise is that those men were already poor whilst monogamous.

You’re doing the classic, what about them or what about this? It’s called whataboutism and it doesn’t work in this scenario.

I wouldn't have bothered to make a post here or even reply to your comments about the parts in bold. Had you simply left it at that we wouldn't be even having this discussion

It's not a coincidence that multiple users including you, made a link between a country's poverty status and poor polygamous men. There is a reason you did that & i used the example of poor monogamous men being the majority to counter that argument. it wasn't a case of whataboutism as i was responding to the claims being made. A good example of whataboutism is establishing a causal link between poverty status ,backwardness of a country and polygamous men in a thread about a hardworking polygamous somali man

 

[Angelina]

I wouldn't have bothered to make a post here or even reply to your comments about the parts in bold. Had you simply left it at that we wouldn't be even having this discussion

It's not a coincidence that multiple users including you, made a link between a country's poverty status and poor polygamous men.

Multiple studies show that poor men engaging in polygamy in poor nations causes even more poverty for women and children. I’m amazed you have issues with that since it illustrates that hikma of Allah making polygamy something that only men that can afford it do. Engaging in something that Allah has advised against will impact society.

There is a reason you did that & i used the example of poor monogamous men being the majority to counter that argument.

It was a dumb counterargument since poor poly men were originally poor mono men who have stretched out their meager finances even more. You’re not countering anything.

it wasn't a case of whataboutism as i was responding to the claims being made. A good example of whataboutism is establishing a causal link between poverty status ,backwardness of a country and polygamous men in a thread about a hardworking polygamous somali man

It is whataboutism, since it’s evident for anyone with common sense that polygamy creates even more of a strain on a families finances rather than monogamy, which is why Allah tells men who can’t afford to get married to more than one to stick to one wife.

If we go down that route, you’ll be questioning why the deen doesn’t focus on affordablity and fairness in mono unions as much. Anyone with common sense can see why.

Hence, it’s classic whataboutism that will take you down a rabbit hole.

 

[Angelina]

Anyone who has ever been to Somalia and seen broke polygamists would just be angry at their behaviour. I saw it with my own eyes, a father with a dozen children, living in a dilapidated house. His children look empty behind the eyes, the wife looked depressed or lobotomised. Guess what he did? He found another woman to bring into that lovely lifestyle. Meanwhile, his lifestyle is subsidised by his male friends.

But of course, you cannot ask them of such things as having mercy on the children, or Allah forbid, financial or family planning. How dare we ask a man to live within his means. How sinful of us.

I find certain users protests to be disingenuous and ridiculous. They’re arguing for the sake of arguing at this point and everyone with common sense can see how poor broke men remarrying will impact women and children in society. It’s also a common phenomenon back home and even in the West with scores of older odeys going back home to remarry whilst wife and kids are on welfare or wife works in care. Why does our deen talk about only men being able to afford it should marry again? I

These are the same posters who will bring up how divorced single motherhood creates even more poverty in society, but imagine if I said, hey, you’re forgetting about poor married women? I mean the vast majority of poor women back home are married? It’s dumb whataboutism roooted in being argumentative for no reason.

 

[Knaan99]

. Other non African men, even Arabs and Asians who have a culture of polygamy as well, won’t marry again if they’re poor. They’re intelligent enough to understand that polygamy is for more comfortable men. It isn’t a luxury open to all. They operate in their tax bracket.

pakis and afghans do the same sht.
Only Arabs don’t tbh.
I get what ur saying tho.

 

[Angelina]

pakis and afghans do the same sht.
Only Arabs don’t tbh.
I get what ur saying tho.

Pakistanis probably have the lowest polygamy percentages amongst Muslims. They don’t have a culture of remarriage as much. They’re a monogamous group compared to others, especially Africans.

 

[Knaan99]

Pakis probably the lowest polygamy percentages amongst Muslims. They don’t have a culture of remarriage as much.

pashtuns also live in Pakistan.

To be fair tho, this is only southern hawiya x RX maybe very very few OG culture. The Rest were monogamous for the most part until they came in contact with the double trouble.
So Its not fair to say it’s a Somali culture.

But I 100% agree with u.

 

[NordicSomali]

It’s a personal choice, but he can’t complain if the family ends up struggling with money. He has a brain and should use it.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

You don’t read people’s responses and argue for the sake of it. Poor polygamous men were already poor whilst monogamous, they’ve merely doubled their poverty by stretching their limited resources. It’s as simple as that. They’ve exasperated the situation.

You’re engaging in whataboutism.

I have a simple question:
The Quraan talks about affordibility and fairness in poly marriages and tells men to only stick to one if they can’t.

Does that mean men shouldn’t be fair with one wife? Why isn’t fairness explored in detail in mono marriages compared to poly? Does that mean fairness isn’t cared about in poly marriages? Why is there a focus on polygamous marriages?

Your whataboutism and your inability to understand that poly marriages are simply more challenging when it comes to finances and fairness leads you to this to stupid questioning.

Please could you for once address what i ask and not what i'm not disputing. One issue at a time.

You quoted my post to the other sister, whereby you stated that you doubt anyone believes somalia is poor due to polygamy # 132 to which my response post #152 was to remind you that you entertained that idea yourself and i also emphasised that poverty resulting from monogamous marriages was far higher than that of polygamous marriages and i questioned why people were not making that linkage between poverty status and monogamous marriages

Your response since then has been lacking and you keep on bringing about things i've not disputed at all. Until now you haven't addressed the simple question that i asked regarding why people were not making the causal link between poverty status of a country and poor monogamous marriages ? laakin you and the other users were quick to make the linkage between poor polygamous marriage/men & poverty status


Whether poor polygamous are common or the fact that these leads to stretching of the scarce resource etc doesn't not negate the simple fact that these marriages don't even constitute even half of all marriages in somalia or even in other country for that matter. However poor monogamous marriages constitute a majority and in terms of numbers alone they're more than double/triple etc depending on the country.

Meaning poverty rates resulting from monogamous marriages far supersedes that of polygamous marriages yet despite this undeniable fact none of you made a linkage between a country's poverty status and poverty rates resulting from poor monogamous marriages. Yet for polygamous marriages you were quick to establish this linkage, my question was why ? why the selectivity

Had your concerns of women living in poverty been genuine then you wouldn't care about only those ones in polygamous marriages but for all women living in poverty irrespective of their marriage types. It doesn't make sense to ONLY care about women & children in polygamous marriages when the majority of women & children in poverty are from monogamous marriages

Are women & children worthy of our sympathy ONLY when they happen to be in a poor polygamous marriage ? This is what selectivity leads to and i was arguing against from my first post in these thread

 

[NordicSomali]

This is why I hate breeding like rabbits he lives in shanty iron sheet house he has no future for his kids their entire life will become hell on earth truly low iq mentality right here

Its

Someone once said that 'Romance was invented by broke men', and it made me laugh but also think. Because what, other than romantic words, can convince a woman, to get with a broke man, who already has a wife and kids? What is it??

Dumaroow, don't get fooled by fancy words. SMH

As for the polygamous men with no financial sense;

Keep financially abusing women and children, so that you can brag about being 'laandhere' or because you cannot control your sexual urges. I just look forward to the day of judgement when these neglectful men are taken to task. Do they not feel ashamed when they see their children in tattered clothing, unable to get toys, an education or even healthcare? Stuffing children into overcrowded Jiingads as if they are canned fish. How selfish!

You are assuming that the man thinks like you, he doesn’t. He looks like a sheikh and that explains his number of children.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

Multiple studies show that poor men engaging in polygamy in poor nations causes even more poverty for women and children. I’m amazed you have issues with that since it illustrates that hikma of Allah making polygamy something that only men that can afford it do. Engaging in something that Allah has advised against will impact society.

Again my question to you is where exactly have i disputed this ? you're just arguing for the sake of it, i was talking about the claim that you & others made ie that somalia is poor as a result of poor polygamous marriages.

It was a dumb counterargument since poor poly men were originally poor mono men who have stretched out their meager finances even more. You’re not countering anything.

It is whataboutism, since it’s evident for anyone with common sense that polygamy creates even more of a strain on a families finances rather than monogamy, which is why Allah tells men who can’t afford to get married to more than one to stick to one wife.

If we go down that route, you’ll be questioning why the deen doesn’t focus on affordablity and fairness in mono unions as much. Anyone with common sense can see why.

Hence, it’s classic whataboutism that will take you down a rabbit hole.

You fail to grasp exactly as to what i'm arguing for here, the comparison is between poor monogamous men and poor polygamous men. Poor monogamous men despite being a majority and having higher rates of poverty compared to poor polygamous men no linkage was established between them and a countries poverty level status. Yet that linkage was established between poor polygamous men and a country's poverty level status.

A countries economic status isn't determined by either monogamous or polygamous marriages it's the policies, allocations and use of resources, corruption levels etc. USA, europe etc aren't rich because they only allow monogamous marriages etc it has no bearing on it at all.

Do you believe for instance that usa or uk will be poorer once they allow polygamous marriages ? the answer is no similarly somalia or any other country that allows polygamous marriages don't become poor due to it.

 

[attash]

If he was raising 16 orphans, sure. But he brought 16 kids into abject poverty which is why he must have 2 jobs.

Hard work is hard work. Just as you praise your parents for working hard to fulfill their duties towards you (even though that is what they are supposed to do), we will praise this man for working hard to take care of his children.

And if you have no praise for him, then at least remain silent and do not insult him. If you have an issue with poor men being polygamous then this is fine, but to insult this man directly is uncalled for. Especially considering the fact that him being a Quran teacher alone makes him morally superior than anyone in this thread:

Narrated `Uthman:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "The best among you (Muslims) are those who learn the Qur'an and teach it"

Sahih al Bukhari 5027

He sired these children, that is to be expected of him. Why should we praise him for the bare minimum?

This is very easy for you to say as you have no children of your own.

Why did Allah say that heaven is beneath the mother's feet? How can you compare a mother to a polygamous man?

Cause they are both parents? For reference, any mother who takes care of her children deserves praise even if they live morally corrupt lifestyles otherwise, same for fathers.

I have no problem with wealthy polygamists. In fact, go to all the threads pertaining polygamy and you'll see that the vast majority of women take issue with broke polygamy, treacherous polygamy and so forth.

This man is far more deserving of polygamy than some degenerate Khaleeji prince who sends his children off to British boarding schools where they get addicted to drugs and become gaalo. Keep in mind, the Prophet (SAWS) himself was a "broke man" by your standards.

What's crazy is the couch potatoes on this thread calling this man "selfish" despite the fact that he spends all his waking hours in service of others and probably has zero free time. Another insane thing is them feigning sympathy for his children while treating their very existence as a sin and implying that it would be better if they had never been born.

I 100% agree with the importance of family planning, but we can have a conversation about it without spewing venom towards a Quran teacher while we are only a week away from Ramadan.