Emotional story

[Man with a garuun]

Why did the OP bring up her two brothers doing bad? Pakistanis in the UK disproportionately make up the bulk of offending groups when it comes to child exploitation and grooming gangs, are notorious for money laundering, and just as prone to being on streets as Somali males, yet Xalimos are happy to see our name dragged on that thread, even here.

The Xalimos who do this are either married to ajnabis or have ajnabi bfs. So to validate their life choices, they like to diss Somali men. They know the community at large doesn't accept them, so they resort to these constant attacks against the Somali community in general and Somali men in particular.

 

[Man with a garuun]

I was thinking... wow what a toxic culture that she has to be both a father, a son, a daughter, and a mom. Then as the story went on I realized that's your typical Somali household... I'm so ashamed.

The most fucked up part is, even though Xalimo's are basically the bread winners, workers, electricians, handy man in their household to lazy ass men... they still don't get respected as equals and deal with extreme sexism from our culture.

Imagine women doing this being called the "weaker sex" or less intelligent.
At least other cultures when they oppress women expect them to do less work physically or financially... in the Somali households Xalimo's have to provide, work, and still get treated like Qashin.

Ever since you made the below statements , I stopped taking you seriously. No self-respecting Somali man goes with his sister or daughter and sit next to her while she "dines and wines" with men, including your ajnabi "favorites". That was never heard of, and if he did, he was a weird character.

 

[Magan95]

Ever since you made the below statements , I stopped taking you seriously. No self-respecting Somali man goes with his sister or daughter and sit next to her while she "dines and wines" with men, including your ajnabi "favorites". That was never heard of, and if he did, he was a weird character.

I could care less whether you take me seriously.


Nothing triggers a broke incel faster than a woman asking to be taken on a nice expensive date.

 

[Man with a garuun]

I could care less whether you take me seriously.


Nothing triggers a broke incel faster than a woman asking to be taken on a nice expensive date.

I could care less whether you take me seriously.


Nothing triggers a broke incel faster than a woman asking to be taken on a nice expensive date.

I could careless what you do with your life. I just don't believe a self-respecting Somali man who is your "mahram", as you claimed, would go with you and sit there while you do the "dining and wining" with your "dates". The story makes no sense.

 

[Bobthebuilder]

Lets be honest with ourselves. Every culture has positive and negatives. Misogyny is high in their culture and their women deal with issues we don't Alhamdulilah, however they don't deal with overly lazy men who expect women to do everything. Their men are very family orientated. This naag nool dhaqan in which women are expected to do everything isn't a thing. For goodness sakes our great grandmothers had to be the ones that build the areesh (Somali house).

u dont know anything about Paki culture
Pakistan has a tradition of women building whole mansions out of mud bricks
ur complaining about rural women putting up a grass hut in 10 mins & all africans the women build the hut its not only us.

https://time.com/16225/the-pakistani-women-brick-makers-enslaved-by-debt/

 

[Jaydaan]

A Pakistani man wouldn't be any better lol.

It's just that this particular Pakistani man actually cares for his wife. It's not all black and white. There are plenty of good Somali men out there who would do the same.

If I saw my wife doing DIY with everything, even the electricity, I would be concerned and then offended. Let me do my job woman!

He is full of sh2t tbh. I read the whole thing and he lets her do everything and throws in you don’t have to once in a while. How hard is it to say naaya fariiso. He seem to write all that to get praise so he can feel better about himself

 

[Lebron James]

Blaming Somali men for a girl who is helping her family and saying nice things about an ajnabi guy? Go marry an ajnabi and hit the jackbox.

If your new hubby is a South Asian, he will definitely beat the shit out of you like your fellow Xalimos who married timojileec experienced.

And if he is a dhagax boy, he will abandon you, and we'll find you in forums and social media, attacking Somali men and saying they're racist and wont accept your muuq-shabeel looking kids.

I used to read in Ummah forum and abandoned that place because of single moms who were divorced by ajnabis bashing the Somali communities were very common there. So go for the ajnabis that you say nice things about them, but own your decision and don't take jabs at us when you get disappointed.



Wow, wow, eedo @Angelina saw a story where an ajnabi guy is saying nice things about his supposed Somali "wife" while dissing her father and brothers, and she jumps up and says explorers have said nice things about Somali women been hardworking, meaning Somali men aren't.

Ironically, when Somali girls marries ajnabi, they have a chip on their shoulders and can't just get over dissing Somali guys. It is more like you don't accept my choice, I am gonna keep dissing you guys. For goodness sake, if your dhagax, timojileec, or saancadaale hubbies are good, why don't you stick with them and be happy about it?

I'm getting sick of seeing the insecurities constantly expressed by these girls in Somali forums, social media, and in other platforms.

Damn you snapped

 

[Jaydaan]

also the timo Julie family disrespecting her family in their house and his mum talking all mad. Somalis really can be begs sometimes.

 

[Dima&Damo]

u dont know anything about Paki culture
Pakistan has a tradition of women building whole mansions out of mud bricks
ur complaining about rural women putting up a grass hut in 10 mins & all africans the women build the hut its not only us.

https://time.com/16225/the-pakistani-women-brick-makers-enslaved-by-debt/

She is real man hater femcel i believe it's called

 

[Dima&Damo]

Those houses the reer miyi makes are are the most simplest thing to do and xalimoos are complaining

 

[Angelina]

Blaming Somali men for a girl who is helping her family and saying nice things about an ajnabi guy? Go marry an ajnabi and hit the jackbox.

If your new hubby is a South Asian, he will definitely beat the shit out of you like your fellow Xalimos who married timojileec experienced.

And if he is a dhagax boy, he will abandon you, and we'll find you in forums and social media, attacking Somali men and saying they're racist and wont accept your muuq-shabeel looking kids.

I used to read in Ummah forum and abandoned that place because of single moms who were divorced by ajnabis bashing the Somali communities were very common there. So go for the ajnabis that you say nice things about them, but own your decision and don't take jabs at us when you get disappointed.



Wow, wow, eedo @Angelina saw a story where an ajnabi guy is saying nice things about his supposed Somali "wife" while dissing her father and brothers, and she jumps up and says explorers have said nice things about Somali women been hardworking, meaning Somali men aren't.

Ironically, when Somali girls marries ajnabi, they have a chip on their shoulders and can't just get over dissing Somali guys. It is more like you don't accept my choice, I am gonna keep dissing you guys. For goodness sake, if your dhagax, timojileec, or saancadaale hubbies are good, why don't you stick with them and be happy about it?

I'm getting sick of seeing the insecurities constantly expressed by these girls in Somali forums, social media, and in other platforms.

Yeah, sorry didn't know you couldn't read. If her father truly is lazy and had engaged in illegal activities how is that 'dissing'? The truth is the truth. He clearly talks about her family being that way to show why she has always had to shoulder extra responsibilities. Says a lot that you think what she is doing is merely helping when she has behaved as the mother and father of her household and it says a lot about your mentality that you're trying to normalise such a terrible home life.

We do have issues with women doing the brunt of the work and a woman doesn't have to be married to an ajnabi to point it out. It is an issue in our community.

No one said the Arab community or Pakistani community is better. I would say, they're worse but in a different way.

As far as I know Express Jamila isn't even married? The only person who is insecure is you. You want to lie to yourself and bury community issues we have in the sand.

Stop crying, i've had enough of your dumb, lie filled takes. I'm blocking you from now on, so don't bother ever messaging me.
You're deranged and very insecure. The only way you're able to argue with me is by making up lies. Also, you have an issue with not engaging with posts and then twisting it. You don't have the intelligence to actually argue against my points without adding lies or claiming I said something I didn't.

IIt says a lot that the only way you can debate is through such up lies which is a great indication that you cannot keep with if you actually tried being honest.

 

[Angelina]

Why did the OP bring up her two brothers doing bad? Pakistanis in the UK disproportionately make up the bulk of offending groups when it comes to child exploitation and grooming gangs, are notorious for money laundering, and just as prone to being on streets as Somali males, yet Xalimos are happy to see our name dragged on that thread, even here.

This is why I have issues with people on this forum but I didn’t think you'd be one of them as you come across as intelligent.

The OP is the husband, who is worried about how his wife has been overworking her entire life. Even her own Somali uncle worries about her as she has always had to shoulder all the responsibilities. She is from a rough family.

I don't know why you feel the need to attack the Somali wife as she has nothing to do with this post.

 

[Man with a garuun]

Yeah, sorry didn't know you couldn't read. If her father truly is lazy and had engaged in illegal activities how is that 'dissing'? The truth is the truth. He clearly talks about her family being that way to show why she has always had to shoulder extra responsibilities. Says a lot that you think what she is doing is merely helping when she has behaved as the mother and father of her household and it says a lot about your mentality that you're trying to normalise such a terrible home life.

We do have issues with women doing the brunt of the work and a woman doesn't have to be married to an ajnabi to point it out. It is an issue in our community.

No one said the Arab community or Pakistani community is better. I would say, they're worse but in a different way.

As far as I know Express Jamila isn't even married? The only person who is insecure is you. You want to lie to yourself and bury community issues we have in the sand.

Stop crying, i've had enough of your dumb, lie filled takes. I'm blocking you from now on, so don't bother ever messaging me.
You're deranged and very insecure. The only way you're able to argue with me is by making up lies. Also, you have an issue with not engaging with posts and then twisting it. You don't have the intelligence to actually argue against my points without adding lies or claiming I said something I didn't.

IIt says a lot that the only way you can debate is through such up lies which is a great indication that you cannot keep with if you actually tried being honest.

I've diagnosed you and others who wouldn't waste an opportunity to bash Somali men either directly or indirectly. And if you're all happy with your ajnabi hubbies or bhs, why not stick with them and concentrate on them instead oh bashing Somali men constantly? It is sheer insecurity that is expressed in your endless Somali men bashing comments. Go ahead and put me in your ignore, but make no mistake about it: None of the gibberish you write here will not pass me.

 

[Angelina]

Noticed a number of red flags with the above story

1. Marrying for the wrong reasons : The basis of his "marriage" to her was done out of sympathy so as to alleviate her from her difficult situation. Once this was done it didn't turn out the way he had thought it would and is only realising the cost of it. Marrying someone out of pity rarely ends well

2. "Wife doesn't put her needs on top" the girl bypassed her father and mother who were clearly against this man marrying their daughter. She chose him over her family yet this somehow doesn't register with him. If choosing a man over your family doesn't indicate prioritising your own needs over theirs then i've no idea what does



Kulaha we just went on with our plans, the uncle was good because he facilitated what he wanted

3. Description of her family: Even when both families were throwing insults etc look at how at he distinguishes his family from hers. Her mother was "nice" and completely selfish while his mother was just mean. Except for

1. He clearly talks about how he wanted a good practicing wife as well. Although, you're right I did find it strange he wanted someone to help. I wouldn’t go as far as using the word 'pity'.

2. Her father is in and out of prison. Somali families elders tend to respect the position of the father, so the fact that her adeero an elder was okay with being her Wali, shows that there must have been more to the issue. Unless you want to argue OP is lying it is clear that the uncle seems to be the ONLY practising one. Her own father is unfortunately a criminal. You tried to twist things and say he is only good in OP's eyes as he allowed the marriage. OP clearly says he is known as a practising man with a good reputation in the community.

3. When he talks about the wife not putting her needs on top, he is talking about how she had to be the mother and father of her family. It is very disingenuous that you clearly twisted that. This is a woman who has always put her family first. She is in her 30s. Couldn't marry younger as she had to look after her siblings, work for them and do everything. Doesn't even have time for friendships and now that she has finally decided to settle down at her older age, you claim she didn't choose her family?!

4. In terms of not accepting, his side of the family are more of the issue. He talks about his own mother screaming and being rude!

5. You say he talks about her family more. From looking at the post, it is insane you'd even compare the families. Is a screaming mother which HE admits any way comparable to a family in which the father scams, been to prison, doesn't work, her brother has been to prison as well? If he is from a typical family in which the father worked and no one has been imprisoned, then what is there for him to air out walal? What do you expect him to say. You're clearly being petty here.


Saying they've been to prison and they've scammed people isn't an insult if it is true. This is also important information as it shows why his wife has always shouldered everything.

Honestly, you're clearly nitpicking, over analysing everything, just because he is an ajnabi. You even ignored key parts of the text to create your own narrative. I thought you were better than this.

Wallahi, the bit that shocked me is when you suggested that she doesn't put her family first because she married him. This women is like in her 30s going into her mid 30s. She never married all of these years because of how dysfunctional her family are. Do you expect her to wait until 40 in which she can't have kids whilst she does everything for them to prove she puts them first?!

- Another point I forgot. How is she sacrificing more to be with him? Finally in her life she is able to relax and not worry about doing everything for her family. Also, as a 30-something woman she can now focus on building her own family. No where in the text does it suggest that her family has disowned her.

 

[Chase]

This is why I have issues with people on this forum but I didn’t think you'd be one of them as you come across as intelligent.

The OP is the husband, who is worried about how his wife has been overworking her entire life. Even her own Somali uncle worries about her as she has always had to shoulder all the responsibilities. She is from a rough family.

I don't know why you feel the need to attack the Somali wife as she has nothing to do with this post.

Huh? I know the OP (Original Poster) is the Desi guy, that's who my comment was intended towards. How he was talking about his own in-laws rubbed me the wrong way, never said anything about the wife, if anything I felt bad for her.

 

[Angelina]

Huh? I know the OP (Original Poster) is the Desi guy, that's who my comment was intended towards. How he was talking about his own in-laws rubbed me the wrong way, never said anything about the wife, if anything I felt bad for her.

Facts are facts. What rubs you the wrong way is because he is a Pakistani man and not from our community.

Her father has been in out of prison, scammed people, her brother has also been in prison. I don't know why the Faraxs are saying that is insulting. The only way that is insulting is if what he is saying is a lie. Certain things you can't sugar coat.

Also, we need to know these facts to understand why his wife practically does everything.

Believe me, if the husband was a Farax saying this, there wouldn't be any controversy when it comes to that post. I get it, an ajnabi commenting on our issues makes you feel a certain type of way, but her family are ridiculously disfunctional and the average Somali family isn't even like that.

 

[Chase]

Facts are facts. What rubs you the wrong way is because he is a Pakistani man and not from our community.

Her father has been in out of prison, scammed people, her brother has also been in prison. I don't know why the Faraxs are saying that is insulting. The only way that is insulting is if what he is saying is a lie. Certain things you can't sugar coat.

Also, we need to know these facts to understand why his wife practically does everything.

Believe me, if the husband was a Farax saying this, there wouldn't be any controversy when it comes to that post. I get it, an ajnabi commenting on our issues makes you feel a certain type of way, but her family are ridiculously disfunctional and the average Somali family isn't even like that.

Completely disagree, what he is saying is xaan, it adds nothing crucial to the conversation, we don't need to know of it. All he had to say was my wife was abused/brought up by a dysfunctional family, him backbiting her own father/brothers was unnecessary and I'm gonna take issue with. If you don't, that's fine too, guess it's just a matter of perspective.

 

[Angelina]

Completely disagree, what he is saying is xaan, it adds nothing crucial to the conversation, we don't need to know of it. All he had to say was my wife was abused/brought up by a dysfunctional family, him backbiting her own father/brothers was unnecessary and I'm gonna take issue with, if you don't, that's fine too.

Be honest Chase. Would you have felt that way if it was a Somali man writing this?

The wife wasn't abused though. She had to do everything because he father was away and the OP explained why. Maybe he could have said her family is dysfunctional and she had to do everything but even then, it doesn't paint the whole picture and plus it is anonymous.

 

[Genie]

lol the prophet does many things muslims follow or dont. they pick the parts where youre allowed

verse 4:34 is my evidence. if you claim thats mistranslated then there wouldn't be yusuf ali, pickthall AND shakir translation all saying "beat them".
https://wikiislam.net/wiki/Islam_and_Women for anything else I said. as much as i'd like to discuss islam, i aint gonna waste my time with an islamic debate since its always gonna be circular. maybe if we meet in the religion section I can.

so youre saying the result of somali community is due to misogyny, i've been telling you where the misogyny comes from. if religion didn't have vague(i'll play devils advocate here) and nonwomen friendly verses there would not be any confusion. e.g verse about beating women exists. lets say its out of context, how do you expect the average muslim man to understand this and not beat the f*ck out of his wife and make her cook/clean? your god knows people are sometimes stupid and selfish why send down a religion where it looks like(playing devils side again) its against women via the treatment of them in scripture.


as for the thing I said in that specific thread thats my own thoughts based on experiences. men can sleep around and not attach to their partners unlike women who when they sleep around a lot can impact their ability to pair bond(ability to connect to partner emotionally). i acknowledge it might come across as hypocritical but idrc. the fact that women care much less about a mans private life suggests i'm right.

you mean reminded of how much power they hold in islam to further enforce on women?

also you can stop larping as a muslim loool


sorry to hear bout the toxicity you faced. glad youre doing fine. somalis will test you all the time, be firm with them about what youre comfortable and not comfortable doing. women are told to be nice to everyone, not saying be a b**** but choose who you share your kindness with.

please keep ur anti-Islamic rhetoric's to yourself or move it to the religion section for a debate I'm trynna hear other opinions that aren't so boring and tired.

 

[Jeghbamjdb]

The man deals with everything concerning the financial. Deal with accommodation, clothing, food etc, and provide in the best manner you can. Essentially, you give her your living standards.

The woman deals with everything inside, cook, clean, child-rearing etc.

It's not bad for a man not to engage in house chores if he's the one providing.