lol w/e can you answer my other question thank you. please don't use any mental gymnastics, give me your unbiased opinion on the matter.
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- Thread starter Shadow-san
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They did, except for the uncle. Their wedding turned to a mess because of the in laws beefing with one another.
Her standards are low in the sense that she's constantly compromising her needs, doesn't accept help from her partner, etc. Maybe I should have used "Low self esteem" instead or low expectations of her husband (which she seems to force on him).
I don't think he's an amazing man though. Nothing in his story was amazing, he just did the basics a husband should... apart from how he lets his mother treat her. She shouldn't be subjected to insults and attacks from her which he could definitely be more stern on.
He could do more to cater to her. She needs to unlearn negative behavioral patterns that she had to do because her family was not realiable, especially her parents. She over relies on herself as a coping mechanism.
Edit: she seems to be repeating a cycle she learned in her childhood, that men aren't reliable and she must do everything herself. She needs therapy.
i've seen somali guys become gordon ramsey with their ajanabi wives. one guy cooks everything and his filipino wife doesn't do shit kkk. hes all involved in the kids life and showing them off on youtube like white people.
people genenrally put ajanabis on pedastel especially muslims. maybe somali guys do it less than the women but the point stands
No, you're using mental gymnastics and i'm actually baffled by your train of thought Wallahi.
One story was about a couple who were NOT able to marry as the family threatened to murder the potential fiancee.
One story is about a happily married couple who had no problems marrying. The only issue is that the wife's family overworked their daughter. The husband has NO personal issues with her family. The family have NO issues their marriage.
So how on earth can you compare the two. Ridiculous.
I can't deal with people who argue for the sake of arguing which is literally what you're doing.
I have an adeero who bathes his kids and reads them bed time stories.Married to an cadaan lady. They have an equal partnership. I would love to think he would do that for a Xalimo but something tells me overwise. @Sane needs to stop debating and go back to the weird sections of this forum. All that inappropriate things he talks about has fried his brains.
However, it is a wrong comparison that you try to suggest that she goes above and beyond for him for being ajnabi, when the his WHOLE issue is that she goes above and beyond for EVERYONE. If you read further her own uncle says she doesn't know how to relax.
murder lol it was an empty threat to scare them its not that serious.
no issues? youre ignoring the fact they had to separate during the wedding and nikkah couldn't be done properly due to both sides fighting
It's easier to win arguments when you have consistent views.
You can't be talking about dhaqan when addressing women whilst also being a zani filth whose tongue is unholy.
I've got a longer analysis on her like I do other people on this site, but she can be summed up with my first sentence.
Bundasliga
VIP
First I thought what a f*cked up family then I noticed its Somalis 
Bare minimum! Bare minimum! You mean to tell me I was using up time on laylatul qadr to ask for bare minimum!
War that's jannah!
you muslim women forget the reason its this way isn't just laziness. maybe youre in denial, but its mainly religious with a bit of cultural misogyny . why do you think muslim cultures have overlapping issues with women being the ones doing all cooking/cleaning, taking care of everyone, mothers prefering the sons and punishing daughters etc? its not purely a coincidence that all these different cultures(african arab desi etc) all share these problems.
you and other women seem to think somali community is failing because of the men, what on earth do you expect from a guy who was raised 20 years seeing this family dynamic of women being most of the labour bearers and absent fathers with their other wives? time to take some responsibility and realise its a cycle mainly caused by religion making men behave in these lazy ungrateful ways and women being pickmes/sexist to their own daughters.
Nalaaye floxks
Life is like a sandwich, the bread comes first💰💯
That’s how yk somali women are loyal, ik that one somali girl i wanted to get married to but my mom doesn’t approved that because she’s dir, the girl did anything she can for us to be together and ik the other girl was trying to get married with me too but she’s somali bantu, my love of my life gotta let me get married to my soulmate
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Apparently, my views aren't consistent according to this man:
Show me ONE haram thing I've advocated.
I'm married you shaytan and even if I wasn't why would I want sexual attention, I wear a hijab. My beauty is meant to be hidden. Perfect example as to how your brain is fried by the filth you write. Everything is sexual for you isn't it?
That's true. She surprises me because usually women like to go rings around people when arguing and she doesn't really do that. She sticks to her points.
Do you know what's funny? In the Shafi Madhab, women do not have to cook and clean. Some madhabs even go as far as saying that if a woman was from a middle class family in which she didn't cook, the husband has to provide her with a maid. Fiqh in Islam isn't black and white as you have different madhabs and scholarly opinions.
Arab and Somali culture is worlds apart in that situation. In the gulf, a lot of the women do not cook and clean, they have maids, although you can argue that this poses an issue especially with regards to the treatment of maids.
At least you're admiting that culturally we do have an issue with overworking women and yes, women need to start holding themselves accountable by raising their sons better and not accepting certain behaviors.
Okay I finally read it and walaahi I couldn't help but be reminded of my eldest sister. By Allah we don't appreciate the people who do the most for us.
I'm not discussing differences of opinions because one madhab doesn't mean shit compared to the other 3. I'm telling you your religion values women as second class citizens which is why women in somali culture are treated this way, even by their OWN mothers. From slaves
The rich/upper/middle class don't cook/clean. What about the lower/working class? Whos busting their ass everyday similar to somali mums while taking care of the kids? Also abuse isn't common in somali households when it does happen theres no surprise because as I said again its allowed in religion. Seeing as somali culture is 90% islamic theres no surprise why we and other muslim cultures have a bad reputation towards the women.
No such thing as a community failing all because of lazy adheers. What makes them act this way? Power religion gives them to do what they want with no consequence. See what happens to a woman if she starts doing khaat/drugs and shukaansining other men. She'll be dead before the days over, best case scenario she wont see her kids anymore.
you ever thought about What causes somali mums to act like pick mes? It can't come out of nowhere. Somali women were strong back in the day, no such thing as men marrying multiple wives and leaving them all with the work. Now they're wearing those tents and hide rapists/pedos somali guys by sending them back to badiyo from the police in the West. Its all learnt behaviour from past generations, theyre given a place in islam which is to be subsurvient to the man and do everything he says so that becomes their place naturally; almost subhuman babymaking machine. mix that in with some cultural stuff and extremism now you have the current somali community. Denying religion has any part of why we're fucked up is doing to be a HUGE denial on your side. Waiting for 'misinterpretation of islam' and other excuses.
@Angelina if i disappear i'll get back to your reply sometime later again thanks.
-It isn't one Madhab but 3/4. Overworking women is purely cultural. There are countless hadiths which show that the Prophet s.a.w used to help his wives. Since we follow the Prophet's s.a.w example, how is overworking women part of the religion?
- Explain how abuse is allowed in Islam. Since you claimed this, where have you seen this?
- Double standards and men getting away with things at the expense of women is a world wide phenomenon. We live in a man's world, men control the narrative and set the rules. This is why in most cultures men hold women to a higher standard. Why? Because they simply can. They have the power to do so. You're a gaal, yet you still believe in double standards? I remember you posted that it is okay for men to have 'fun' but not women. Why do you believe this? It clearly isn't religiously motivated is it?
- Somali women weren't 'strong' back in the day. I'm an avid reader of history and i've read countless accounts. Women did even more work then, especially nomadic women. Even foreign explorers of the 1800s would comment it on and there are passages that talk about their chores in detail.
- You'll even notice on this site and its like that in real life. The biggest misogynists tend to be the wildest hypocrites. They'll talk about their zaani exploits, say things contrary to religious values and then turn around and talk about religion ONLY when dealing with women. How is the issue religion, when the worst culprits don't even value it to begin with?
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