How do you know ? Go ahead and ask them.
Can we pls stop bullying Somali women for being 30 and single
- Thread starter hamar_oo_iidil
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It's an easy thing to say that a woman should have as many kids as possible if you're not the one pushing out something the size of a football between your legs. Especially when most faraxs don't believe in sharing housework
Wallahi if I was a woman I wouldn't have children. f that
Wallahi if I was a woman I wouldn't have children. f that
More women across the board are delaying marriage. This isn’t just a current phenomenon in the community. People are less incentived to marry and if they don’t find someone suitable why pressure them to settle? It would just cause unhappy and toxic relationships and the cycle would repeat.
Marriage is Sunnah. Not getting married is not haram. In fact, at times it is preferable not to. Example, if you're assexual or if for whatever lifestyle reasons you feel like you won't be able to give a spouse their rights. Famous scholars like Ibn Taymiyyah never married.
Whilst it is preferred and Muslims should do it, not getting married and having kids isn't haram. Show me one evidence that says that? The hadith you provided is basically about people who think not marrying is more pious like that of the Catholics which is haram as in fact getting married makes you more pious.
It actually is in alot of cases
This is an exception to the rule and even other scholars criticised him for this, he spent every waking hour seeking knowledge he didnt have time, noone in this day and age can even compare themselves to him
I know, but we cannot say not marrying is haram. It is preferred to marry and that is the Sunnah, but not marrying isn't haram and if someone hates children, then that could infringe on the rights of the children/wife which is haram without a doubt, so the situation isn't black and white.
A person should still have children if he hates children,they should try their best to make their heart at ease with having children, just because u hate something doesnt mean u dont do it, we go our entire lives doing stuff we hate because we have to,
1.Not hate children to the point they show no mercy to them
2.Should treat children with the best way possible despite the way they feel
The problem is with the culture of society is for
1.Everyone hates marriage now
2.People hate children now
3.People hate responsibilities
4.People hate monogamy
5.People hate going work
6.People hate doing general life stuff now
Are you just going to allow all these people to not attempt to change themselves and get married and have children?
That is too much of a risk as they may not be able to control themselves.
I think a scholar needs to be asked. We know that if a man or woman isn't attracted example assexual, then marriage is not encouraged for them due to worry that they may not be able to fulfill rights which is more important. So, looking at that logic, how can people that hate kids be encouraged?
Somalis are used to known for being extroverted etc, we never shy away. But look now, unfortunately the new Somali generation after the first generation fobs, this new Somali generation is hella insecure and introverted with no confidence to talk to each other, look how Somali guy and a Somali girl get awkward when they see each other on the streets, compared to the old Somali generation where the men had confidence etc to at least approach. Unfortunately maybe it’s the technology that’s destroying our social interaction etc too much social media and online dating (which doesn’t work in my opinion to get a spouse) created a sense of comfort zone.
Back home when I went to hargeisa, the confidence the men had surprised me when I came back here in the U.K. iI’s about time the new generation change their approach, stop using iPhones every one minute, go outside. Enjoy the nature etc, talk to people, reset your mind, eat healthy, pray your salahs, I guarantee you, as a whole the new generation will benefit from a change in lifestyle etc, you will see an increase in marriage numbers among our community.
I think it is a case to case scenario. I cannot make an overgeneralisation.
But our culture now is killing us slowly.
Some ppl hate what is natural and then act on that and claim it is not haram for them to do so
Imagine our entire society(which is where it is currently heading) said that we do not like the opposite gender and we do not like children, it is not haram for me to not get married and not have children I can stay single and do what I want.
Are we just going to let people sit there and say that? Our entire society will crumble
And I am not talking about outliars here or exceptions
because nowadays the exceptions are starting to become the norm
I think these topics are discussed and overly emphasized, it's time to stop.
My 2 cents:
1. Somalis are very proud breed and don't have a culture of arranged marriage(mostly). Before qabilism was big factor hindering marriage, not anymore atleast that I have not seen recently.
2. People in the west have small circles especially once they start working. Most of their co-workers are other people.
Now couple those issues with the lack of drinking and going out. Where will the girl and the boy meet? I don't fault anyone for not marrying. Let them be!
My 2 cents:
1. Somalis are very proud breed and don't have a culture of arranged marriage(mostly). Before qabilism was big factor hindering marriage, not anymore atleast that I have not seen recently.
2. People in the west have small circles especially once they start working. Most of their co-workers are other people.
Now couple those issues with the lack of drinking and going out. Where will the girl and the boy meet? I don't fault anyone for not marrying. Let them be!
I agree we need to help people get married and find people instead of leaving haram alternatives or online dating apps.
But we should try to make marriage easier at a younger age
It’s sad to see the amount of Somali ladies and men on a dating apps like muzmatch, this shouldn’t be the case. We the new generation should seek getting marriage through interactions in real life, like how it suppose to, not from online apps which is a sham. That’s again back to what I said about lack of confidence within the new generation.
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there is no other options for alot of ppl tho
Tell me why isn’t there an option for a lot of people other than using muzmatch for example?
All you have to do is go out and approach in real life, in an halal way, surely most can go outside other than using online dating apps?
Omg When did they expose him? Send link please.
Well, at least you understand. Stop blaming the women now. If a girl has hayaa and only hangs out with other girls, guys are too shy to approach in real life and online dating has its pitfalls, parents and families hardly introduce youngsters, then how can you be suprised that a woman in her late 20s pushing 30s is single?!
I literally know beautiful accomplished girls who've hardly ever dated or speak to guys due to this issue. If they lived in a Somali community, along with the men being more confident and our community taking a more proactive such as family/friends/neighbors introducing likeminded young men and women to each other, they'd be snapped up.
A lot of guys refuse to believe this. But the girls that find it easier to marry tend to be the social ones, have male friends or associates and usually go to events that will put them into closer proximity to the type of men they want to get to know. 8/10, it doesn’t have anything to do with careers or feminism ect, as women tend to already have careers by 24 and I have married friends that married early but delayed having kids so they've progressed career wise just like their unmarried friends. Marriage doesn't stop careers.
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