Can we pls stop bullying Somali women for being 30 and single

[hamar_oo_iidil]

Why has being 30 -something and single become such a slur? We all know full well if our beautiful sisters had financially independent, emotionally available, and godly men most would have seldom chosen the single life.

Lets be financially independent, emotionally available, godly men

 

[Based]

Idk how people have the tabar and effort to put down people they don’t know about how they are unmarried at +30. Its childish and rude. People need to learn how to mind their own business. Even if it’s a sibling or someone close to you, you should never bring that up because you don’t know deep down what that person is going through.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

Idk how people have the tabar and effort to put down people they don’t know about how they are unmarried at +30. Its childish and rude. People need to learn how to mind their own business. Even if it’s a sibling or someone close to you, you should never bring that up because you don’t know deep down what that person is going through.

Exactly. And its not like said +30 are anti-marriage either. Instead of ridiculing them why not focus our energy on expecting more of ourselves as men

 

[Encroacher]

Idk how people have the tabar and effort to put down people they don’t know about how they are unmarried at +30. Its childish and rude. People need to learn how to mind their own business. Even if it’s a sibling or someone close to you, you should never bring that up because you don’t know deep down what that person is going through.

Right, it's an attempt to ridicule and dishonour the person, it's malicious and the retorts do nothing. Being single I'd a personal choice after all.

 

[Deleted L]

This idea of an “Independent” woman delaying marriage until her 30s/40s to pursue her “career” is the result of feminism & westernization. Our parents generation got married in their early 20s & our grandparents generation got married in their teens, my grandmother had my dad when she was 16. Delaying marriage has drastically increased Zina/other societal ills and it’s unnecessary. A woman’s primary role in society is to be a mother & the best time for a woman to get married is when she’s at the peak of her fertility, which declines when she’s in her 30/40s.

 

[hamar_oo_iidil]

This idea of an “Independent” woman delaying marriage until her 30s/40s to pursue her “career” is the result of feminism & westernization. Our parents generation got married in their early 20s & our grandparents generation got married in their teens, my grandmother had my dad when she was 16. Delaying marriage has drastically increased Zina/other societal ills and it’s unnecessary. A woman’s primary role in society is to be a mother & the best time for a woman to get married is when she’s at the peak of her fertility, which declines when she’s in her 30/40s.

I don't think most Somali women who are single at 30 are feminists/western-izers. Most Somali women in their 30s want to be happily married and want to start a family.

Our parents' generation got married in their early 20s because our fathers' were serious about marriage and made the proposals. Today men are just not proposing to women as readily as they were before. And when they do, Somali women often feel they end up having to compromise on a lot. The high costs of living paired with the childhood trauma of broken homes is as much a factor as anything else too

 

[TekNiKo]

If you are 35+ and unmarried you are a leftover woman, men know their is something wrong with you

 

[Deleted L]

I don't think most Somali women who are single at 30 are feminists/western-izers. Most Somali women in their 30s want to be happily married and want to start a family.

Our parents' generation got married in their early 20s because our fathers' were serious about marriage and made the proposals. Today men are just not proposing to women as readily as they were before. And when they do, Somali women often feel they end up having to compromise on a lot. The high costs of living paired with the childhood trauma of broken homes is as much a factor as anything else too

Westernization/Feminism does play a big role. For a woman it’s not that hard getting married but many Somali woman in the West you come accross aren’t getting married because they are obsessed with chasing their “career/education.”

 

[Slickster]

I agree. There are enough Somalis in the world as is.

 

[Cosmo]

I agree that people should mind their own business when it comes to single people but in no way are Somali men to blame for the existence of 30+ single Somali women.

 

[Angelina]

Westernization/Feminism does play a big role. For a woman it’s not that hard getting married but many Somali woman in the West you come accross aren’t getting married because they are obsessed with chasing their “career/education.”

Don't lie. Women finish uni at 21. Start their career at 22. So why would a woman delay marriage until 30? I'm a woman with friends pushing or 30 and single and not one of them are unmarried due to their careers. They already had stable careers at 24.

But continue pushing that narrative. You don't talk to or personally know a lot of Muslim women, you don't want to understand how difficult it is getting married in the Somali community due to us not being community oriented and parents/family/friends rarely introduce youngsters to each other.

All of these lies, bashing ect just so that you can look down on women. Minding your business is free and if you really care, then maybe you can think of a halal way to introduce people within the community because that is 70% of the issue and i'm someone that knows a lot of Somali girls..

 

[Wervelwind]

Most Somali women in their 30s want to be happily married and want to start a family.

Is it because of a lack of good men that they aren't married then? I don't get why so many sisters (who want to be married) are single and 30+ years old

I'm not coming from a place of hate just curiosity. I'm 30 years old and my mom knows a bunch of girls my age she wants me to meet. I'm not interested in getting married but really feel sorry for these girls that stuff like this happens

 

[Wervelwind]

I'm a woman with friends pushing or 30 and single and not one of them are unmarried due to their careers.

How do they feel about it? Does it bother them a lot that they're single? Are they shy or do they have problems with finding a good man

 

[TekNiKo]

Is it because of a lack of good men that they aren't married then? I don't get why so many sisters (who want to be married) are single and 30+ years old

I'm not coming from a place of hate just curiosity. I'm 30 years old and my mom knows a bunch of girls my age she wants me to meet. I'm not interested in getting married but really feel sorry for these girls that stuff like this happens

Its so sad why cant they just go back home and marry a Faarax there? They rarely do because they’re very proud people.

 

[Wervelwind]

Its so sad why cant they just go back home and marry a Faarax there? They rarely do because they’re very proud people.

Women only marry up whilst men marry women that are submissive sxb. That's why you'll hear of faraxs going back home to marry but rarely see a woman do that. What's a fob farax gotta offer?

 

[Angelina]

Its so sad why cant they just go back home and marry a Faarax there? They rarely do because they’re very proud people.

Shut up, this is a community issue. We don't have arranged marriages generally whether it be through family/friends/neighbors. We don't try to introduce youngesters and now we have young men and women who are scratching their heads as to where to begin. Also, guys aren't that confident anymore to approach.

Back home has its issues. Recently some girls have, but they don't have the options to leave them back home. They bring them to the West and the man leaves.

I know some women that have gone back home and married rich Faraxs. At least you know he isn't using you. They seem rather happy.

 

[TekNiKo]

Women only marry up whilst men marry women that are submissive sxb. That's why you'll hear of faraxs going back home to marry but rarely see a woman do that. What's a fob farax gotta offer?

It shows that men are much more accomadating when it comes to relationship and help our sisters back home.

 

[Al-Ma'mun]

Very young incel ethno-nationalists are to blame.It's the same group harassing Somali women who marry outside the Somali ethnic group that be spreading their diarrhea all over the comment section

 

[TekNiKo]

Shut up, this is a community issue. We don't have arranged marriages generally whether it be through family/friends/neighbors. We don't try to introduce youngesters and now we have young men and women who are scratching their heads as to where to begin. Also, guys aren't that confident anymore to approach.

Back home has its issues. Recently some girls have, but they don't have the options to leave them back home. They bring them to the West and the man leaves.

I know some women that have gone back home and married rich Faraxs. At least you know he isn't using you. They seem rather happy.

Exactly you can marry rich Faarax from Africa its a win win!

 

[Taij4an]

Don't lie. Women finish uni at 21. Start their career at 22. So why would a woman delay marriage until 30? I'm a woman with friends pushing or 30 and single and not one of them are unmarried due to their careers. They already had stable careers at 24.

Unless ur a doctor