An Open Letter To My Somali Diaspora Sister

[Hodan from HR]

You disappointed me tbh. The generalization and making wrong assumptions about my brother @Factz was just wrong.

I would've appreciated it if you didn't try taking digs at the opposite gender to get your point across.

I misunderstood Factz at first but you are right. There could have been a better way to express myself.

As for taking digs at the opposite gender, any somali guy who doesn't fit that description should not take it to heart. I was talking about deadbeat men in general.

 

[Mimir]

I misunderstood Factz at first but you are right. There could have been a better way to express myself.

As for taking digs at the opposite gender, any somali guy who doesn't fit that description should not take it to heart. I was talking about deadbeat men in general.

Glad you cleared things up

 

[Furioso]

Some of my close abdi allies have turned their back on me after this thread.

@Wiilyam Ina Sheekh Zubeer even said no more somali songs for me

I'll have to redeem myself to be back in yalls good graces

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They slid into my DM’s more after I revealed that I’m underage.
:siilaanyosmile:

 

[Hodan from HR]

They slid into my DM’s more after I revealed that I’m underage.
:siilaanyosmile:

astaghfirullah!!

Maybe I should claim @Basra age.

 

[Furioso]

astaghfirullah!!

Maybe I should claim @Basra age.

@Basra is a young’un. She says that she’s 19.

 

[Hodan from HR]

@Basra is a young’un. She says that she’s 19.

 

[Mercury]

Dearest Sister,

You have heard it all; the constant misogynistic remarks from our men. You have been ridiculed for your desire for a legitimate monogamous marriage. You have been called materialistic for wanting a man who will not withhold his wealth from you.
The best amongst our men will offer you a "traditional" marriage where you will be cut off from your social life and your existence be diminished into serving his needs.

My sister, you are not asking for too much. Look around. Married women of other ethnicities generally enjoy these rights that our men haggle us with. The truth is, while other men celebrate their women, most somali men tolerate us.

My sister, you have also heard of our other sisters who sufferred in the hands of ajinabi men. As much as I want to blame somali men for all our plights, it's time for us to reflect deeper.
No other group of diaspora muslim community has the highest number of single mothers. You know that the overwhelming majority of our children are raised without a father.

My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
However, you also don't have to pretend you can raise a family all by yourself. You need a good man by your side. Your children deserve a good father just like other women's children have.

My sister, choose wisely. You owe your loyalty only to yourself and the children you bring into this world.



From the depths of my heart,
T.Q

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In my opinion the problem is the mentality alot of somalis been raised with like girls have been raised to singlehandedly take care of a whole family on their own like as if its a good thing while the sons arent expected to contribute with household chores

Later on you end up with 2 different adults one that knows the responsibility and time it takes to maintain a household

And one adult thats clueless and doesnt see why he should bother with household duties since thats what the wife should take care of

In my opinion in the long run the wife is gonna grow resentment or stay in the marriage for the sake of the children

But if the guy helps around the house show her appreciation for the things she does their marriage is gonna grow stronger

 

[Hodan from HR]

In my opinion the problem is the mentality alot of somalis been raised with like girls have been raised to singlehandedly take care of a whole family on their own like as if its a good thing while the sons arent expected to contribute with household chores

Later on you end up with 2 different adults one that knows the responsibility and time it takes to maintain a household

And one adult thats clueless and doesnt see why he should bother with household duties since thats what the wife should take care of

In my opinion in the long run the wife is gonna grow resentment or stay in the marriage for the sake of the children

But if the guy helps around the house show her appreciation for the things she does their marriage is gonna grow stronger

Difference in boys and girls upbringing as a contributing factor didn't cross my mind.

You make a very good point walal

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

Tameable Qumayo, There is the assumption if you speak somali well and can write well on forums like these, that you are an adult or into late 20s or 30s. People usually assume you are old.

You are mature for your age intellectually. Hope you stay good as you are and keep your character.



William In Sheekh Zubeer, Abti, you have my respect. I like to get you out of the lurking sometimes by picking on you.

The forum has many quality males lately. Mashallah. Keep up the good work. And because of that, I noticed females registering or returning on the board. Quite the attraction. They wanna be seen and to see.


2020 is shaping up to be a good forum year.


The Good

Bruh. Celeste helped you out with the translation.

 

[Hodan from HR]

Tameable Qumayo, There is the assumption if you speak somali well and can write well on forums like these, that you are an adult or into late 20s or 30s. People usually assume you are old.

You are mature for your age intellectually. Hope you stay good as you are and keep your character.



William In Sheekh Zubeer, Abti, you have my respect. I like to get you out of the lurking sometimes by picking on you.

The forum has many quality males lately. Mashallah. Keep up the good work. And because of that, I noticed females registering or returning on the board. Quite the attraction. They wanna be seen and to see.


2020 is shaping up to be a good forum year.


The Good

Bruh. Celeste helped you out with the translation.

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If people click, thats cute ngl but don't turn the place to a dating site

I think the majority just wanna have a good time and socialize with fellow somalis. Currently, I'm enjoying the anonymity

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

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If people click, thats cute ngl but don't turn the place to a dating site

I think the majority just wanna have a good time and socialize with fellow somalis. Currently, I'm enjoying the anonymity

Ilaahay ha u naxaristo your beloved Abaayo. Stop playing tough to get you little fox. Your laments touched me in a way and I thought, someone should help the cutie. I wanted to console you and remind you of the Qadar/Destiny and that you be patient till Mr. Prince knocks on your door.

And now we are pretending you are not interested in one of the many good guys here after the teary post? Oh Yea, I believe ya.

Most of what the women do on here are cries for help delivered in a fake indifference.

 

[Mercury]

Difference in boys and girls upbringing as a contributing factor didn't cross my mind.

You make a very good point walal

In my opinion they should be raised in a similar way if you teaching your daughter to cook and clean to prepare her for the future when she gets married and have kids

Raise the boy the same way as the girl with chores and cooking later on when he grows up he will bd able to help his wife and kids

Back home Ive seen my cousin when his wife gets sick hes calling relatives to come and help cook.and clean cause the wife is ill and they need help

Thats an embarrassing sight to see

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

Anyone knows what happened to Knowles? She is usually in the middle of threads like these dishing out the best insults to somali males.


Hope she is alright. She may have finally met her man.

 

[Mercury]

Anyone knows what happened to Knowles? She is usually in the middle of threads like these dishing out the best insults to somali males.


Hope she is alright. She may have finally met her man.

shes changed her name @Muji

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

In my opinion they should be raised in a similar way if you teaching your daughter to cook and clean to prepare her for the future when she gets married and have kids

Raise the boy the same way as the girl with chores and cooking later on when he grows up he will bd able to help his wife and kids

Back home Ive seen my cousin when his wife gets sick hes calling relatives to come and help cook.and clean cause the wife is ill and they need help

Thats an embarrassing sight to see

They call you Qorqode(assuming my memory of the word is accurate) if you are male and around the kitchen in Somalia. They look down on men cooking food. It is easier to call for help from willing community than soil your reputation from their perspective. With that said, the men who grew up in that culture of male separation from kitchen ended up cooking for themselves in America since they had to strike it out without their female relatives. Necessity forces people to adopt and many somali males shift their attitude to help themselves when they are not living with their relatives and learn to cook. Some are willing to spend money at restaurants everyday untill they get tired and figure out cooking for yourself is not only better but more convenient and saves money.

Teaching girls to cook is essential in many cultures since they will naturaly be the primary caretaker of their kids. Cooking is a good skill to have.

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

shes changed her name @Muji

Tells you how clueless I am on these forums.

 

[Mercury]

They call you Qorqode(assuming my memory of the word is accurate) if you are male and around the kitchen in Somalia. They look down on men cooking food. It is easier to call for help from willing community than soil your reputation from thier perspective. With that said, the men who grew up in that culture of male separation from kitchen ended up cooking for themselves in America since they had to strike it out without their female relatives. Necessity forces people to adopt and many somali males shift their attitude to help themselves when they are not living with their relatives and learn to cook. Some are willing to spend money at restaurants everyday untill they get tired and figure out cooking for yourself is not only better but more convenient and saves money.

Teaching girls to cook is essential in many cultures since they will naturaly be the primary caretaker of their kids. Cooking is a good skill to have.

They can look down on men cooking food as much as they want in my opinion one shouldnt care about such comments

cooking is a skill every guy and girl should know as a adult

 

[ZakWantsToPlay]

They can look down on men cooking food as much as they want in my opinion one shouldnt care about such comments

cooking is a skill every guy and girl should know as a adult

It is inevitable. Every somali male to be able to cook for themselves once they leave the nest and strike out on their own becomes the norm. Many single guys who rent an apartment together with a fellow cousin or friends do cook for themselves at least one full meal a day. Those who don't know will learn how to cook if they leave their mother's crip.

Culture is strong to counter and it doesn't seem to harm somalis back home that boys are prevented from the kitchen. Women are happy to forbid their boys from the kitchen too. Necesstities change cultures and somalis have no reason to change I think in that regard. At least, there is no pressure to change their attitude towards boys not spending time in the kitchen.

My parents were different. Dad grew up Orphan, so he knew how to take care of himself. My parent's story was Boy meets girl, Boy falls in love, Boy marries the girl, Boy fathers children with the girl, Boy is happy to spend time with his wife romantically somewhere in the house or outside while his son makes food for himself and for his sisters.

 

[Mercury]

It is inevitable. Every somali male to be able to cook for themselves once they leave the nest and strike out on their own becomes the norm. Many single guys who rent an apartment together with a fellow cousin or friends do cook for themselves at least one full meal a day. Those who don't know will learn how to cook if they leave their mother's crip.

Culture is strong to counter and it doesn't seem to harm somalis back home that boys are prevented from the kitchen. Women are happy to forbid their boys from the kitchen too. Necesstities change cultures and somalis have no reason to change I think in that regard. At least, there is no pressure to change their attitude towards boys not spending time in the kitchen.

My parents were different. Dad grew up Orphan, so he knew how to take care of himself. My parent's story was Boy meets girl, Boy falls in love, Boy marries the girl, Boy fathers children with the girl, Boy is happy to spend time with his wife romantically somewhere in the house or outside while his son makes food for himself and for his sisters.

that's true but cooking isn't even that hard you can check youtube and make a nice meal in 15 minutes

Back home its not even norm that guys step into the kitchen this why they look down on the ones who do even if you gonna make a dish nobody is gonna

 

[Kudhufo Kadhaqaq]

if only life were this simple!

@Kudhufo Kadhaqaq can give u that simple life amore