An Open Letter To My Somali Diaspora Sister

Hodan from HR

Staff Member
Dearest Sister,

You have heard it all; the constant misogynistic remarks from our men. You have been ridiculed for your desire for a legitimate monogamous marriage. You have been called materialistic for wanting a man who will not withhold his wealth from you.
The best amongst our men will offer you a "traditional" marriage where you will be cut off from your social life and your existence be diminished into serving his needs.

My sister, you are not asking for too much. Look around. Married women of other ethnicities generally enjoy these rights that our men haggle us with. The truth is, while other men celebrate their women, most somali men tolerate us.

My sister, you have also heard of our other sisters who sufferred in the hands of ajinabi men. As much as I want to blame somali men for all our plights, it's time for us to reflect deeper.
No other group of diaspora muslim community has the highest number of single mothers. You know that the overwhelming majority of our children are raised without a father.

My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
However, you also don't have to pretend you can raise a family all by yourself. You need a good man by your side. Your children deserve a good father just like other women's children have.

My sister, choose wisely. You owe your loyalty only to yourself and the children you bring into this world.



From the depths of my heart,
T.Q

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Dearest Sister,

You have heard it all; the constant misogynistic remarks from our men. You have been ridiculed for your desire for a legitimate monogamous marriage. You have been called materialistic for wanting a man who will not withhold his wealth from you.
The best amongst our men will offer you a "traditional" marriage where you will be cut off from your social life and your existence be diminished into serving his needs.

My sister, you are not asking for too much. Look around. Married women of other ethnicities generally enjoy these rights that our men haggle us with. The truth is, while other men celebrate their women, most somali men tolerate us.

My sister, you have also heard of our other sisters who sufferred in the hands of ajinabi men. As much as I want to blame somali men for all our plights, it's time for us to reflect deeper.
No other group of diaspora muslim community has the highest number of single mothers. You know that the overwhelming majority of our children are raised without a father.

My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
However, you also don't have to pretend you can raise a family all by yourself. You need a good man by your side. Your children deserve a good father just like other women's children have.

My sister, choose wisely. You owe your loyalty only to yourself and the children you bring into this world.



From the depths of my heart,
T.Q

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You talking like my ex ajanabi girlfriends, all them talking shit about their ethnic man while they riding with the devil himself, i was laughing inside wlhi when they talk bout their man...they almost became somali, because they thought we talk less and we respect them:lolbron:
Take that as a lesson. Boys are boys in every culture:banderas:
 

pablo

Make Dhulos Great Again
You basically plagiarised AA woman talking points on how IR dating and marrying is ok. Men are men no matter where you go unfortunately, plus your probably on the wrong forum lipstick ally is where you should probably be.:samwelcome:
 

Hodan from HR

Staff Member
You talking like my ex ajanabi girlfriends, all them talking shit about their ethnic man while they riding with the devil himself, i was laughing inside wlhi when they talk bout their man...they almost became somali, because they thought we talk less and we respect them:lolbron:
Take that as a lesson. Boys are boys in every culture:banderas:


Well, we girls are becoming women and we don't want boys.
:axvmm9o:
 
You knew exactly what you were doing with this lmfaoooo.
Good post tho I really love this part
My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
 

Hodan from HR

Staff Member
You basically plagiarised AA woman talking points on how IR dating and marrying is ok. Men are men no matter where you go unfortunately, plus your probably on the wrong forum lipstick ally is where you should probably be.:samwelcome:

Somali women have to choose whats in their best interest. I am in favor of the men who recognize our value:zhqjlmx:
 
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VixR

Veritas
The problem with Somali guys on the whole is, they have no respect or appreciation, sometimes I don’t think even for themselves, bc they’re not ambitious in what they themselves deserve either. Maybe your observation on it being a mere toleration is right.

I need the ground I walk on to be worshipped, not to be tolerated or reduced to a broodmare, or a trial they give up at the drop of a hat along with any child unfortunate enough to be born as a dropped experiment.

How can you waste your youth, beauty and mind on someone who doesn’t value it when you see how others do. Another thing I noticed is the attempt to change you, despite being attracted to how they found you in an effort to please others. I realized many of them even plan to fail in their marriages.

Just be very careful and astute in your choice of one. There are good ones out there, they’re just not plenty. If they aren’t a victim to the streets, or aren’t control-freak religious zealot types, you have too few to choose from that choose a path beyond that and had the benefit of two parents who nurtured him, and a mind of his own that isn’t weakened by the whisperings of the other two groups, or a community waiting for his downfall. If you find that, you’ve found something. If you don’t, consider looking outside the community, but do not lower your standards for others.
 

Factz

Factzopedia
VIP
What's so misogynistic about traditional marriages? If anything it benefits women more. In non-traditional marriages, you have to work and contribute to paying the rent and bills. You get 0 mehr and you have to pay half of the wedding and honeymoon cost. It's basically 50/50 for everything.

That's why women don't mind being housewives. :kanyeshrug:

I also disagree with most Somali fathers being away. They are actually there but some are useless. Every community has good and bad apples and the same applies to Somali men and Somali women. This gender bickering is getting very repetitive and childish.
 
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