Dearest Sister,
You have heard it all; the constant misogynistic remarks from our men. You have been ridiculed for your desire for a legitimate monogamous marriage. You have been called materialistic for wanting a man who will not withhold his wealth from you.
The best amongst our men will offer you a "traditional" marriage where you will be cut off from your social life and your existence be diminished into serving his needs.
My sister, you are not asking for too much. Look around. Married women of other ethnicities generally enjoy these rights that our men haggle us with. The truth is, while other men celebrate their women, most somali men tolerate us.
My sister, you have also heard of our other sisters who sufferred in the hands of ajinabi men. As much as I want to blame somali men for all our plights, it's time for us to reflect deeper.
No other group of diaspora muslim community has the highest number of single mothers. You know that the overwhelming majority of our children are raised without a father.
My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
However, you also don't have to pretend you can raise a family all by yourself. You need a good man by your side. Your children deserve a good father just like other women's children have.
My sister, choose wisely. You owe your loyalty only to yourself and the children you bring into this world.
From the depths of my heart,
T.Q
You have heard it all; the constant misogynistic remarks from our men. You have been ridiculed for your desire for a legitimate monogamous marriage. You have been called materialistic for wanting a man who will not withhold his wealth from you.
The best amongst our men will offer you a "traditional" marriage where you will be cut off from your social life and your existence be diminished into serving his needs.
My sister, you are not asking for too much. Look around. Married women of other ethnicities generally enjoy these rights that our men haggle us with. The truth is, while other men celebrate their women, most somali men tolerate us.
My sister, you have also heard of our other sisters who sufferred in the hands of ajinabi men. As much as I want to blame somali men for all our plights, it's time for us to reflect deeper.
No other group of diaspora muslim community has the highest number of single mothers. You know that the overwhelming majority of our children are raised without a father.
My sister, be like a steel magnolia. Flowery and feminine on the outside and strong on the inside. You cannot blind yourself to the reality that surrounds us anymore. No man is doing you a favor by marrying you.
However, you also don't have to pretend you can raise a family all by yourself. You need a good man by your side. Your children deserve a good father just like other women's children have.
My sister, choose wisely. You owe your loyalty only to yourself and the children you bring into this world.
From the depths of my heart,
T.Q
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