Married gals how much is your Mehr?

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This is low key BS. While I agree 1k is really low, there's literally nothing wrong with accepting it. Variables that change a girl's desirability shouldn't affect her mahr. A girl from a good, wealthy family likely has higher mahr requirement than a girl from a poor and dysfunctional family. And that is perfectly fine since it's her call, even if it logically makes no sense since she has more to fall back on. Maybe it's just me being overly zealous and prideful but paying different amounts based on attributes is nonsense. You can decide to marry/not marry someone for whatever reason you want but once you've decided to, the mahr should make logical sense. I mean, do I get a discount if she's uneducated, divorced and from a dysfunctional family? While you can perfectly argue that it affects her desirability it shouldn't affect her mahr,

I feel like there are different factors that affect the amount of mehr.
And at the end of the day it isn't the man that decides the amount, its the girl.
Even if a girl isn't desirable she can ask for whatever she feel like since its up to her to accept or reject.

Also if it isn't the desirability that sets the mehr then what does?
Its logical for an older divorcee to not get aa much as a young girl. An older woman maybe needs a man to provide for her/help her take care of her kids/company/ idk. Shes already been married before so she doesn't need all the blind bling and the extra shit

A young girl does, youre getting more from her than shes getting from you. She has more to lose if he divorces her early than he does.
Shes in a stage in her life where she can choose from a lot more, therefore the guy should match her demands.

I would say some attributes actually matter tbh, just being real
 

Kanye

CISGENDERED,HETROSEXUAL MALE. PRONOUNS: HE,HIM,HIS
I feel like there are different factors that affect the amount of mehr.
And at the end of the day it isn't the man that decides the amount, its the girl.
Even if a girl isn't desirable she can ask for whatever she feel like since its up to her to accept or reject.

Also if it isn't the desirability that sets the mehr then what does?
Its logical for an older divorcee to not get aa much as a young girl. An older woman maybe needs a man to provide for her/help her take care of her kids/company/ idk. Shes already been married before so she doesn't need all the blind bling and the extra shit

A young girl does, youre getting more from her than shes getting from you. She has more to lose if he divorces her early than he does.
Shes in a stage in her life where she can choose from a lot more, therefore the guy should match her demands.

I would say some attributes actually matter tbh, just being real
I'm entirely in agreement that the girl decides. I'm not delusional, being an older divorcee with kids affects your desirability. Mahr however should be rationally decided on. You don't pay more or extra based on subjective matters such as attractiveness or how prestigious her family is. An attractive and prestigious girl can get away with asking for more since she's more desirable. But what I'm getting at is that a man shouldn't offer more or less on desirability but practicality. How much you make, what assets you own etc. these are the factors that should be accounted for. If a 45 year old, unattractive and uneducated woman without her family loses her husband through divorce/death or whatever. She needs the same needs covered as a 25 y/o attractive and educated woman facing the same perils.
You've already misconstrued the purpose of mahr. It's not to show off at all, nor to buy 'bling bling and extra shit' but a fall back mechanism in case things don't go the way they should.

Attributes such as attractiveness, kindness, loyalty, piousness, etc. definitely factor in how desirable a girl is but at the end of the day, she cannot fall back on any of these qualities. What she can fall back on is a strong family, financial independence, property etc. etc.

If I pay mahr based on your status, haven't I bought it? Is it really outrageous for me to consider you my trophy wife since I've paid extra specifically for your prestige and status over another?
 
I'm entirely in agreement that the girl decides. I'm not delusional, being an older divorcee with kids affects your desirability. Mahr however should be rationally decided on. You don't pay more or extra based on subjective matters such as attractiveness or how prestigious her family is.

If I pay mahr based on your status, haven't I bought it? Is it really outrageous for me to consider you my trophy wife since I've paid extra specifically for your prestige and status over another?
^There's prestigious somali families? Damn
image.jpg
 

Gambar

VIP
Precisely this. There's much more efficient ways to spend money, especially if your potential wife has an income close to or even higher than you. Trying to suck out as much money as you can, while it is your prerogative isn't particularly wise. This is 2016 Europe, nobody holds land, livestock or other static assets they can just give up. Most 20-something women have just as much money as their male counterparts and are far less reliant on men than they historically were. Saving up £20k to just appease a woman's ego is ridiculous. There are much more ambitious things a man can do with that sort of amount. The only time to warrant something like that is if she has literally no family around and isn't remotely self sufficient. Marriage can be an ambition-killer for real.
No actually the bride can do whatever she wants with it, she can put it away in a savings account, she can use it as a down payment, etc. The man is responsible for it. It doesn't matter if a woman makes more than a man it's her choice to make in regards to a mehr and she's entitled to it as a Muslim woman. It's just that when a woman brings more to the table than a man suddenly he thinks it's outrageous to pay such a mehr.
 

Kanye

CISGENDERED,HETROSEXUAL MALE. PRONOUNS: HE,HIM,HIS
No actually the bride can do whatever she wants with it, she can put it away in a savings account, she can use it as a down payment, etc. The man is responsible for it. It doesn't matter if a woman makes more than a man it's her choice to make in regards to a mehr and she's entitled to it as a Muslim woman.
I've repeatedly stated that a woman sets the price, likewise a man can choose to pay it or leave. Yes, it's her money. She can do what she wants with it but the purpose it's paid for is clear.
It's just that when a woman brings more to the table than a man suddenly he thinks it's outrageous to pay such a mehr.

What does this even mean? It has nothing to do with how much the woman makes, it's got everything to do with her financial independence and how she'll cope if the marriage fails.
 

Gibiin-Udug

Crowned Queen of Puntland. Supporter of PuntExit
The bigger the Meher the less chance he will cheat on you. There's 10k at stake. :diddyass:


For all those xalimos who ask for a dollar for their Mehr, I hope you're ready to be a sister wife. :camby:
 
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NaomiHoney

Guest
Could a lady ask her husband to spend the mehr on 6 -12 months of traveling around the world?
 
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