Your Mehr

[Nilotic]

To the men

What would you provide?

To the women

What will you require?

Despite my reservations about dowry, I would quite literally be willing to fork over 80k for a Dinka-Nuer woman, but I would do it in increments; my cousin had to do it this way, but we all chipped in and it was done in two years.

Dinka-Nuer men that can't be bothered to go through this are the ones that marry out; I know 2 with Indian women; 6 with white women; and 3 with Asian women.

 

[Ozark]

I’m not paying more than 10k. And I expect to pay even less with a foreign women.

 

[Nilotic]

I’m not paying more than 10k. And I expect to pay even less with a foreign women.

Not even if she was incredibly beautiful?

 

[Lebron James]

Ticket to hajj

 

[Nilotic]

Ticket to hajj

I suppose it's comparable in money terms, but that's more akin to a spiritual gift.

 

[Ozark]

Not even if she was incredibly beautiful?

Her beauty is irrelevant, I'm not marrying a women for that.

 

[Last Laugh]

I’m not paying more than 10k. And I expect to pay even less with a foreign women.

Yup, if the Mehr is more then 10k the girl you’re marrying doesn’t love you.

 

[Nilotic]

Yup, if the Mehr is more then 10k the girl you’re marrying doesn’t love you.

I certainly think that the Dinka-Nuer have gone too far with it, but 20k is reasonable.

 

[Sophisticate]

Not even if she was incredibly beautiful?

Most arguing with you are incredibly broke and unable to afford it.

My ancestors paid a high bride price and it paid off with beautiful wives and daughters. Those were real men. If a brother is unwilling to sell his kidney on the blackmarket he's not serious.

 

[Ozark]

Most arguing with you are incredibly broke and unable to afford it.

My ancestors paid a high bride price and it paid off with beautiful wives and daughters. Those were real men. If a brother is unwilling to sell his kidney on the blackmarket he's not serious.

Who's arguing with him? We're just giving our opinion, no need to get triggered.

I could afford to pay a high meher if I choose too but I don't want to give high 5 figure or 6 figures to a women, it's just not that important to me and I'm sure others feel that way.

 

[Nilotic]

Most arguing with you are incredibly broke and unable to afford it.

My ancestors paid a high bride price and it paid off with beautiful wives and daughters. Those were real men. If a brother is unwilling to sell his kidney on the blackmarket he's not serious.

I suppose I could do that if I already fell in love with the woman and knew her character over a considerable period of time.

 

[reer]

Not even if she was incredibly beautiful?

10k too much. im not buying her. she can have 5k dollars. anything more she has to be born from a affluent rich family. youre crazy if you would spend 80k dowry on a qaxooti FOB from africa.

 

[Wiilyam Ina Sheekh Zubeer]

Meher is a religious/legal requirement as well as a gift first and foremost. An amount that reflects the man's seriousness while taking his financial ability into account is fair to ask.
However it is important to be fiscally responsible, especially since you are just starting your life together and there are other similarly important investments waiting that can arguably be seen as more indicative of long-term commitment imo.
It might have worked in the past when payment in livestock, gold etc. could mean financial security and retained wealth in the adverse event of divorce or death but in this day and age it is silly for the average shaqaale to save up for some time or have relatives chip in to pay a mid/high 5 figure Meher only for the couple to wake up to a below average income and lifestyle. The mythical 50k can only afford you so much if not invested wisely.
For the average dude this money (and more depending on your location) should have been spend in pursuit of higher education, a business idea etc. before he even considers marriage.

 

[Abdisamad]

1. Paying mehr for your wife is part of our religion (Islam) and also part of our Somali culture, with this in mind I'll pay her what ever reasonable amount that I can afford and we agree on
2. Yes I will provide for my wife to the best of my ability
3. I expect her to treat me with respect and love me with all her heart even during hard times and in sickness and in health and raise my kids to the best of her ability together with me.

 

[Nilotic]

10k too much. im not buying her. she can have 5k dollars. anything more she has to be born from a affluent rich family. youre crazy if you would spend 80k dowry on a qaxooti FOB from africa.

I didn't mention fobs; I'm talking about women that grew up in the West. Also, women from back home that grew up in a town or city are not incompatible with us, so I don't see the big deal.

Gen X and older Millenials occasionally go back home for a wife and they don't mind it because they only recently arrived in the West, so the cultural rift doesn't exist for them.

 

[Molotoff]

Surah al-Mulk!

 

[Bundasliga]

I would quite literally be willing to fork over 80k for a Dinka-Nuer woman

80k ? I'm buying 2 bitcoins with that

 

[Aurelian]

I'll provide a house a good husband and good salary, require a sophisticated wife with collage degree

 

[Goodbye ✌]

Mehr is a little tricky. I used to have hajj as my top choice but I think it would be more meaningful if I pay for it myself. Also I don’t want to wait until Im married to go to Hajj. You should go as soon as you have the means to. So now I think I would require gold and a nice honeymoon.

 

[Angelina]

Who's arguing with him? We're just giving our opinion, no need to get triggered.

I could afford to pay a high meher if I choose too but I don't want to give high 5 figure or 6 figures to a women, it's just not that important to me and I'm sure others feel that way.

But you expect that said women to possibly sacrifice her life to give birth to your children?

Btw, i'm all for reasonable mehr. It should be based on what the man can afford, but if you can afford it, nor do I agree with reckless splurging on a wedding, but with regards to Mehr
it does beg a lot of questions.