Your Mehr

[Man with a garuun]

This wedding in Atlanta, GA, this flight13 guy was so into this girl that he didn't discuss the amount of meher that she wanted before the nikaax event. She was in Europe, so her brother was presenting her in the nikaax. He announced his sister wanted $20,000 USD for meher. The new flight13 guy almost froze to death. When the sheikh asked him if he accepted the meher amount that the lady requested, the flight13 guy couldn't return a word. People kept asking if he accepted the mehr, and he remained silent. Eventually, everybody looked at him, and he accepted it in a defeated voice.

Moral of the story, to all of the young men out there, make sure you have the discussion on the amount of meher that the woman that future wife wants. You should then communicate to her if the amount is too much. There can be a situation where the lady will avoid to tell you how much mehr that she wanted ahead of time. Some of them are clever and will tell you don't worry I won't make it hard for you.

In the Somali culture, if the man argues about the amount of meher during the nikaax, it is regarded as shame and he would be seen as what Somalis call "qorqode". Therefore, instead of finding yourself in a situation where you would accept a nikaax amount that is much more than your finances, you gotta have the discussion ahead of time and make sure it is something that you can afford.

Furthermore, the meher is due as soon as you accept it. That is the Islamic way. In our culture, we tend to delay it, and many Somali guys don't even pay the meher. So make sure you understand the rules around the meher. ***Keep in mind you can't go to hajj unless you pay your wife's or ex-wife's meher***.

 

[MoSe]

To the men

What would you provide?

To the women

What will you require?

Despite my reservations about dowry, I would quite literally be willing to fork over 80k for a Dinka-Nuer woman, but I would do it in increments; my cousin had to do it this way, but we all chipped in and it was done in two years.

Dinka-Nuer men that can't be bothered to go through this are the ones that marry out; I know 2 with Indian women; 6 with white women; and 3 with Asian women.

Dinka-Nuer
what does this mean?

 

[Nilotic]

Dinka-Nuer
what does this mean?

South Sudan's two principle tribes; they constitute around 60% of the population and are virtually indistinguishable and that's why I group them as one.

 

[Hodan from HR]

What makes you think a 30-year-old woman would reduce her standards? This is what I realized never make any assertions about the type of person a woman can attract regarding their level of success or tax bracket when you do not know the circles she runs through or the type of men she has access to. Your ageism is something else. You also suffer from selection bias kido. 10 K is peanuts and I'm sure even you near broke fresh out of uni/college 20-somethings on the verge of insolvency can afford some more.

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So yeah, you are right abaayo about a man selling his kidney if he wants to be with you. This determined young man was in love and nothing could stop him..

 

[Amber]

What makes you think a 30-year-old woman would reduce her standards? This is what I realized never make any assertions about the type of person a woman can attract regarding their level of success or tax bracket when you do not know the circles she runs through or the type of men she has

Nah, I'll I'm saying is. Some guys who are over the age of 30 are dip shi*s. I can say SOME lose hope of ever marrying a suitable man over the age of 30. If you are over the age of 30, good-looking, sweet, and sophisticated. It's highly unlikely to get a HUGE Mehr, usually meaning true love. No hate toward women, zero nada

 

[Nilotic]

@HIBAQ123 @Qeelbax @AbdiFreedom

I asked my brother if my estimation that 10% of South Sudanese guys in Australia marry out was correct and he replied that it's nowhere near that and I'm inclined to believe him because he's a lot more socially outgoing than I am.

I know of like 11 Dinka-Nuer guys that married out, but that's out of more than a hundred Dinka-Nuer guys that I've come across in Adelaide and Sydney.

Dinka-Nuer guys that marry out are usually seen as cheap and subpar; the steep dowry for Dinka-Nuer Nuer girls requires someone that is actually serious.

I'm a bit of a purist, so I may have inadvertently overstated the interracial thing because I'm not all that keen on it; the fact that I know 3 Sudanese guys married to Asian women is just odd to me especially when you consider that Asian women and black men are not at all a common item.

I really should have expressed myself better; I did my brothers wrong, so my bad.