Yaab! 30 year old Farax wants advice from xalimos on how to tell wife #1 he wants a second wife.

[jemappelle]

The multiple kids argument is a false and incomparable one as you cannot compare the love a parent has for their child, with the love a woman/man has for a spouse. One is unconditional and another is based on conditions and sometimes many conditions. Love between men and women is one that wanes and increases and sometimes people ‘fall out of love’. It’s unreliable, but parental love is the most reliable one of all. A mother would sacrifice her life for ALL of her children, yet a woman cannot guarantee that her husband will still want to stay with her if she has a cancer diagnosis or instead of using that time to support her, he might use it to acquire a new wife whilst he pushes her back to her parents house to care for her. The same can also be said about a man who loses all of his wealth.

Yh no, you misconstrued my argument, you cannot put boundaries or logic on love,
If a parent has the capability to love MULTIPLE children then clearly the human being is designed to be able to love multiple things, what you are doing is projecting your own idea of love onto the relationship, you have already put your own mental barriers of what you would love
their is no logical reason why a man can't love 2 women, it is purely based on subjective experience. Which is my point

Also when a mans wife gets ill, and he leaves for another women he clearly does not love her in the beginning, if a man truly loved his wife he would do anything for her, men have started wars and died for women, I don't think it is impossible for a man to care for his wife,these men let their evil side get the better of them and are not good men and didn't sincerely love their wives 99% of the time
Women who leave a man because he loses all his money is the same, I think most women will always be patient with a man who loses all his money as long as he has the work ethic to try and earn it back, women are loyal usually and patient with their husband if they have good morals and also love their husband

 

[jemappelle]

Yep

Even Prophet Muhammad SAW; seems like he had two loves of his life, but one at a time, Khadijah RA until her death and then Aisha RA. I will never believe a human being is in love with 2 people at the same time, with the same intensity. There is always a favourite.

Why do you need to be in love with 2 women with the same intensity though?
Its not a requirement of marriage to be madly in love with every women at the same degree.
In fact you can't love anyone in your life with the same love as the other.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Why do you need to be in love with 2 women with the same intensity though?
Its not a requirement of marriage to be madly in love with every women at the same degree.
In fact you can't love anyone in your life with the same love as the other.

Polygamy is about greed, lust, charity or politics depending on the man involved. It's not about love, because every man has only one woman he loves most and would pick if he was forced to choose only one wife.

 

[jemappelle]

Agreed.

I'm sure a lot of women would love to have another husband or a side-dude if that was halal, but we're not even allowed. A lot of women are not even attracted to their husbands anymore, but we seem to be the more sensible and loyal gender, smh.

Women want another husband just like khaniis people want the same sex but in reality it doesn't work out properly, its like a desire for a forbidden fruit.
Women are more sensible and loyal because they have been conditioned by society to act like that and it is easier for them to do that then to leave their husbands.
For men its very easy for us to be evil and act on our desires because we are trained our whole life to do what we want but women are the opposite so its easier for them to remainloyal

 

[jemappelle]

Polygamy is about greed, lust, charity or politics depending on the man involved. It's not about love, because every man has only one woman he loves most and would pick if he was forced to choose only one wife.

Your completely wrong, your not a man, you would never understand.
A man can love 2 women at once. Who cares if he loves one wife differently to the other, it doesn't negate the fact he loves the other wife. Your thinking about this from a womens perspective too much

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Your completely wrong, your not a man, you would never understand.
A man can love 2 women at once. Who cares if he loves one wife differently to the other, it doesn't negate the fact he loves the other wife. Your thinking about this from a womens perspective too much

At least you admit that a man has different levels of love for different women.

At the end of the day, polygamy doesn't bother me and shouldn't bother women in general, because we are allowed to have a divorce, so if men want to act wild, women can always leave. Allah is most merciful.

 

[jemappelle]

At least you admit that a man has different levels of love for different women.

At the end of the day, polygamy doesn't bother me and shouldn't bother women in general, because we are allowed to have a divorce, so if men want to act wild, women can always leave. Allah is most merciful.

Alhamdulillah in jannah we will get 11000 wives anyway so it doesn't matter

 

[jemappelle]

At least you admit that a man has different levels of love for different women.

Why would a man have the same exact love for both women? U can't love 2 completely different people the same

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

Why would a man have the same exact love for both women? U can't love 2 completely different people the same

That's what I said.

You are making the same point as me and you don't even realise it.

 

[jemappelle]

That's what I said.

You are making the same point as me and you don't even realise it.

No, you are making an implication that because a man can't love 2 women the same way he is somehow being greedy and unjust and unloyal to his wife. Which is completely wrong and just stupid.

 

[𐒁𐒚𐒒𐒂𐒘𐒂𐒗 𐒎𐒚𐒗𐒗𐒒]

No, you are making an implication that because a man can't love 2 women the same way he is somehow being greedy and unjust and unloyal to his wife. Which is completely wrong and just stupid.

Having a different opinion to you doesn't make me stupid. I will leave you here because I am not interested in trading insults. Macasalaama.

 

[jemappelle]

Having a different opinion to you doesn't make me stupid. I will leave you here because I am not interested in trading insults. Macasalaama.

I didn't call you stupid I said you statement was stupid, because not only is it slandering every man who does polygyny but it goes against this religion

 

[TekNiKo]

I always wondered if monogamy is the standard in this wordly life why is polygamy vastly practiced in the hereafter? Men are promised multiple maidens in jannah and even the Hoorul Ayn wifey is attached to her husband in the dunya according to
this hadith. So this notion is false…

Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal narrated that the Prophet (saw) said:



“No woman annoys her husband but his wife among Al-Hoor Al-’Ayn says, ‘Do not annoy him! May Allah destroy you (Literally ‘Kill you’)! For he is just a temporary guest with you and soon he wil leave you and join (come to) us‘.”



[Ahmad 5/242. Al-Tirmidhee 1174. Ibn Maajah 2014]

 

[jemappelle]

I always wondered if monogamy is the standard in this wordly life why is polygamy vastly practiced in the hereafter? Men are promised multiple maidens in jannah and even the Hoorul Ayn wifey is attached to her husband in the dunya according to
this hadith. So this notion is false…

Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal narrated that the Prophet (saw) said:



“No woman annoys her husband but his wife among Al-Hoor Al-’Ayn says, ‘Do not annoy him! May Allah destroy you (Literally ‘Kill you’)! For he is just a temporary guest with you and soon he wil leave you and join (come to) us‘.”



[Ahmad 5/242. Al-Tirmidhee 1174. Ibn Maajah 2014]

You can have wine in jannah but not in this worldly life

 

[Kane]

Oh he doesn’t love his wife, that’s why he wants another blah blah blah.

Im sorry is he a nin or a naag?

A man has the capacity to care for multiple women, other wise Allah would not allow polygamy.

A naag on the other hand can truly care, for only one man. Even if she shares a life with many, stop confusing women for men.

But I will say this, a lot of men are cowards and liars. They tell women they’re courting one thing, and do another later on and in secret like this coward. I don’t support that!!

 

[Qeelbax]

I move dangerous, my nigga pulls this stunt and next minute he's meeting Munkir and Nakir. I'll use the money he would've used for meh to make my escape to Mecca, there I make Umrah and give myself a clean plate. Inshallah, after that I will scavenge the desert and live among the Bedouins, my new name will be "Qeelbax Al-Badwai". Then a book about my life will be published for the younger generations. They will teach my story in every 10th grade literature class. Ameen.

 

[Qeelbax]

I always wondered if monogamy is the standard in this wordly life why is polygamy vastly practiced in the hereafter? Men are promised multiple maidens in jannah and even the Hoorul Ayn wifey is attached to her husband in the dunya according to
this hadith. So this notion is false…

Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal narrated that the Prophet (saw) said:



“No woman annoys her husband but his wife among Al-Hoor Al-’Ayn says, ‘Do not annoy him! May Allah destroy you (Literally ‘Kill you’)! For he is just a temporary guest with you and soon he wil leave you and join (come to) us‘.”



[Ahmad 5/242. Al-Tirmidhee 1174. Ibn Maajah 2014]

You can have whatever in heaven. Best bet I'm having a harem of men. Niggas really think women have restrictions in heaven. I'll be on a new dick everyday

Also the 72 virgins Hadith aint sahih

 

[Deleted L]

Her beauty... caught my eye... this was all lust. Not even about spreading his seeds or helping a woman in need or, not that we live in the day and age for it, any political or economic benefit. Lust. Saqajaan.

You’re acting like that’s a bad thing. Sure it’s not ideal but there’s nothing wrong with a man who wants to have a second wife because he finds her sexually attractive. Even though he’s supposed to be lowering his gaze, if he wants to marry her to taste her honey, there’s nothing wrong with that and he isn’t doing anything sinful.

 

[Riya.]

Husband is not allowed to go to Somalia without me (note to self)

 

[Deleted L]

Even though it’s permissible for him to get a second wife, even without his wife’s consent, if he remains monogamous because he doesn’t want to hurt his wife’s feelings then he would be rewarded and that’s the ideal.

It’s preferable if this man ignores the father’s request and remain monogamous for the sake of his wife and children.