you have to think about the next generation when answering this question. Do you truly believe your daughters will grow up to wear the proper hijaab if their only role model doesn't do so herself? let's be honest with ourselves. I wouldn't want to be asked on the day of judgement why my daughters never wore the hijab.
Would you marry a Women who doesn't not wear the hijab.
- Thread starter _Yusuf_
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Odious Delirium
VIP
Forget your daughter you'll be asked why your wife didn't wear it. You would be a dayooth for marrying a non modest woman
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Odious Delirium
VIP
You should never have to make a woman do what she should be doing already for Allah to do it for you.
Damn bro slide the workout routine
I'd bet my left testicle not one of those girls is you
๐๐ ๐ฃ๐ ๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ค๐
38 | Hyderabad, India
(2:221) Marry not the women who associate others with Allah in His Divinity until they believe; for a believing slave-girl is better than a (free, respectable) woman who associates others with Allah in His Divinity, even though she might please you.
It's more than looks ya bint
I can understand why a muslim man wouldn't be interested in a non hijabi, it's self explanatory really. I personally don't have inclination towards the hijab as a gaal, I'd of course want some level of modesty from my wife, and vice versa...
Itโs a personal preference.
A Mean Guy
Minister of Ajanabi Affairs
If that is really you in your profile picture, then you need to worry about covering your awrah first mate.
I don't believe in labelling girls who don't wear hijabs as irreligious because most want to wear the hijab later down the line.
To the people who keep saying they know a lot of hijabis who are hoes, that is like saying you know a healthy smoker. A non-smoker will always be healthier than the version of themselves that smokes.
Likewise, a hijabi is always more religious than the version of herself without the hijab.
Hijab applies to men too, I have seen countless women say their men need to cover their awrahs. If you want a hijabi women, be a hijabi guy and cover from your naval to your kness. Stop wearing short shorts. Nonbody wants to see your hairy thighs
I don't because the questions I ask are going to be of such a high standard that a women who isn't even modest will not even entertain me for marriage.
Examples would be of when does she expect to finish hifz of the Quran, unless she is already a haafiz, how much ahadeeth have you memorised, have you memorised basic matns, in the future how much do you want to learn from seeking knowledge, how much fiqh aqeedah etc.. have you studied
then I will move onto more important questions such as questions about her personal character, if she is given a choice between something religious but giving up her dunya, such as job health wealth, or the deen would she do it, then I will ask her to write me an essay of examples in her life shere she implemented this, then I will continue to ask.
by this time, 99% of women will have failed the test already,
I mean most men cover their awrah so that isn't even a question
a better thing to say is you expect your husband to lower his gaze and not interact with women
abdi you and I know telling a women to wear anything for you when you get married is not going to work
a non hijabi is always a non hijabi at heart
and a hoejabi is a hoejabi at heart
accept women how they are
You have to understand that not wearing a hijab is not like other sins. When we sin in private it is between us and Allah, and out of His mercy He shields it. When a woman goes out in an immodest fashion, she is sinning publicly which is extremely dangerous and everyone who sees her will be a witness to that on the day of judgement. A woman that does this is becoming a fitnah for other believing men.
Basically everyday that she goes out without the hijab she is saying publicly I don't want to obey the Messenger of Allah SAW and I do not fear Allah enough to obey his commands. This is a level of extreme depravity in the heart and brings shame not only to herself, but also to her family. Nothing good can come from marrying someone like this.
Basically everyday that she goes out without the hijab she is saying publicly I don't want to obey the Messenger of Allah SAW and I do not fear Allah enough to obey his commands. This is a level of extreme depravity in the heart and brings shame not only to herself, but also to her family. Nothing good can come from marrying someone like this.
It is interesting because they never say that to your face. They are usually very nice to you. Some are even surprised that you are a pleasant person. It creates a sense of cognitive dissonance I'm sure. People would probably chalk it up to an exceptionality.
Yes, projection tends to occur. The uncritical male mind often assumes others have the same sexual proclivities and drive. Often forgetting women are more likely than not relational creatures where the stakes of engaging in reckless behaviour for them bring real social and physical consequences. Also, even in western society sexual inexperience bodes better in terms of marital outcomes for both sexes. Hence, the standards of chasity and conscientiousness should be emphasized for men and women equally.
AJ, we have a certain perspective because our parents were likely boomers. These kids don't. And these sorts of questions regarding attire didn't come up with our parents. Somalis organically put on the hijab back in the day. While what you see now are the religiously multifurcated. Heck even the hijab is not enough for some. As for nimaan some are flip floppers. I had a family friend who swore off girls without a headscarf and married one. Granted she eventually put it on. It just goes to show one should pay attention to actions over words. Most of them would have thought their mothers or grandmothers were unmarriageable (because of those high top buns and scrunches reminiscent of a bygone era). Different times I presume. These sorts of discussions wouldn't occur on this forum as they would not exist. 
I have seen the whole spectrum and all the gradients in between. The problem is some don't get that people don't always live up to the social idealism they profess and appearances can be deceiving.
Odious Delirium
VIP
You underestimate having to ask things you deem basic and a given. I'm talking about what's not physically apparent and neither shows clearly based off a few convos without specifically asking/probing. She could look modest on the exterior and can answer all those questions well while at the same time be living a complete different life or conducting themselves differently then you asummed based off there exterior.
For example no offence but in your case should she just assume you don't have an addiction based off your exterior and how you present yourself?
You shouldn't do the same either. There are many people who are learned students of knowledge but are probably the most hypocritical and corrupted people around. Just asking or probing on the basic and intermediate stuff can get you the answers you need and then you can go onto the more personalised deen based standards.
Otherwise you could end up running into women like this who tick all your personalised boxes like that crazy mars girl on tt
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No because I would never get married or even entertain marriage while having an addiction, and if I wear to even try to get married I am a man of my word and not a liar, and I would not marry a pious women and lie to her about me being a good man.
I do understand your point some things are simple and need to be asked, but I have a checklist of things that will be basically asked, that she will tick of to get out the way before I even entertain a marriage meeting, which will be on all the basic things I expect, like makeup modesty prayer music netflix,
some girls who are trying to be practising still have some vices, such as watching netflix, so yes I do understand where you are coming from, but in general, i dont think i have a need to ask all the questions on every basic thing, only the important stuff, the rest would be assumed by the calibre of women I am seeking.
If the women seems to be pious to me, I would know for a fact that this women would tell me anything I need to know and be honest with me, as anyone who is a person of God will not be a liar or cheater, only the fakes.
Yh so my examples were very generic, I have much more specific questions which get deep into their personal life, such as questions to do with how they deal with family issues, how they talk to people, what kind of friends they have, how they deal with conflict, how they are on a day to day basis, etc etc..
there are alot of students of knowledge who are not fit to be married at all, and are either bad people, or bad people in the process of becoming good, I would place myself in the latter
the questions i ask about seeking knowledge etc.. would set the bar for me, then I can get into deeper questions which will expose the person, if a person is a student of knowledge, there is only so long before you can sus out any clear inconsistencies with them, because the life of a religious Muslim, is open for most people to see and very rigid, and if they aren't who they say they are it will be exposed
That women cannot trick me into thinking shes religious, I am so stringent I make most "practising women" think I am too strict, Its going to be very hard to lie to me when I am going to microscope every part of your life, you won't be able to be patient with it unless you are actually religious.
A pious man would never fix his mouth to insult women, so who are they to assume and insult their sisters in Islam? What right do they have to do that?
You donโt see men on here making threads on whether theyโd marry a woman who doesnโt pray or has haram student loans out, which are much more common in the Somali community than non-hijabis and are actual MAJOR sins, yet they obsess over hijab and insult those who donโt wear it in one thread and then go and lust over exposed women in the next thread. These men are religious charlatans and itโs a plethora of these kind of men is a sign of the end times.
If you think I have a problem with men wanting to marry hijabis, I donโt, thatโs how it should be but itโs a much more nuanced conversation than that.
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