I wouldn't even want her to do the whole let me reach into my purse pump fake, it is better when both parties know their roles.
I might feel differently about paying if the woman genuinely displays grace and has a dignified and elegant demeanor. No questions asked. What I can't stand though are ones who have this weird expectations like they're on some fucking pedastal, levitating over the rest of us "mere mortals". Like it's some sort of a privilege to be in their presenceWhat’s the point of that charade when it’s manipulative? I used to do it when I was younger in the very beginning until some men took the bullet and tried to get me to pay and that turned me off instantly. Legit made me want to ignore them. The same way you’re testing women, they’re testing you and tbh, men who pay and have a provider mindset are the type to attract women. The vast majority of women simply don’t like men who do this and tbh, although I can’t speak for most men, a guy that really likes you isn’t going to be turned of because he is paying all the time. The ones who do that weren’t that invested anyway and probably had a ‘we’ll see’ lukewarm attitude towards you. Hence your advise that benefits women since it weeds out the men that weren’t even interested in them like that.
As for you comment about being obliged, you’re not obliged to ask them out, take them on dates, pay for anything. There is no obligations for any of that and women want a man who WANTS to do that for them and if you don’t want to, it’s fine.
Lol what do you mean by displaying ‘grace’? Come on wouldn’t most people be polite on a date? Like how is she meant to react my you paying her meal?I might feel differently about paying if the woman genuinely displays grace and has a dignified and elegant demeanor. No questions asked. What I can't stand though are ones who have this weird expectations like they're on some fucking pedastal, levitating over the rest of us "mere mortals". Like it's some sort of a privilege to be in their presence
We’re talking about a date that’s gone well and like her. You tend to get on with and like people who are polite. Obviously If a woman has been horrid throughout and you don’t get along with her, it would be the last date.5-10yrs ago, it was rare to come across women like that, but nowadays it almost feels like it's the default. But again, let me re-iterate, if a woman displays grace, I'd pull my card out without a second thought. The not paying thing just lets me see if that's a facade or not to some extent. And I thing them reaching for their purse just soothes my ego a little.
The you have an issue with the Islamic marriage contract. Even during the marriage process you’ll be shaking her dads hand to signify that you’ll now be looking after her and she’ll be under your roof now lol. Like the whole Nikkah process signifies that .The whole notion of being viewed as a "provider" pisses me off wallahi. I want an equal, not some dependant.
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Yes and men believe in equality under every scenario apart from when it comes to cooking and cleaning.Woman want to be independent and liberal in every scenario except for when it comes to bills
You are coming off very 1 dimensional and should always differentiate as a 1st world man you should be flexible depending on what type of female you are dealing with, there is no blanket blanket black and white approach otherwise you lose as a man.Good for you. May Allah bless your marriage. What makes you think other brothers won't find a woman they feel the same about?
This thread is discussing whether a woman should contribute financially or not, not what type of woman deserves to be provided for. Do you agree with the brothers in this thread that women should be paying their half in this day and age?
Feminists preach 50/50 and always have. It's traditional/feminine women who believe the man should pay 100%. The men here are actually siding with the feminists.
Most Men want a traditional wife. Most Woman want to marry a traditional man but some Woman themselves aren't willing to be traditional wives.Yes and men believe in equality under every scenario apart from when it comes to cooking and cleaning.
You find in life, it’s men who like to pick and choose.
Life is easier when you date a women that's a provider.Most Men want a traditional wife. Most Woman want to marry a traditional man but some Woman themselves aren't willing to be traditional wives.
That's the truth. That's the problem.
Them hastagsLife is easier when you date a women that's a provider.
#softguyera #drizzledrizzle
Them hastags
You're such a trollThere's high value women willing to provide for us out there #drizzledrizzle
Let me put you on game #drizzledrizzle
Most men cannot afford a traditional wife. That’s the truth and that’s what’s happening in most Western countries particularly with a lot of Somali men. I don’t know why you lot lie to yourselves.Most Men want a traditional wife. Most Woman want to marry a traditional man but some Woman themselves aren't willing to be traditional wives.
That's the truth. That's the problem.
Ah so you're one of them Halimos. I get it now. I went into this convo in good faith. But you're getting defensive.Most men cannot afford a traditional wife. That’s the truth and that’s what’s happening in most Western countries particularly with a lot of Somali men. I don’t know why you lot lie to yourselves.
Also, traditionalism doesn’t mean you treat your wife like a glorified maid who has no savings or security.
- Traditionalism is fine, provided you set your wife up in case you, God forbid, perish. I hope you have property, investments or pay her.
- If she has a business of her own, she's working, and that's not a stay-at-home wife but a self-employed one who works remotely.
- For those who work, being outside the job market for too long challenges employability. Women in their childbearing years experience a motherhood penalty.
- I didn't date in my youth, but I presume the principle is that the one who invited the other party feels some obligation to pay given gendered socialization, which is often men.
- I have known generous people who have bought my meals in a group setting that were men. I wasn't aware whether they were interested in me or just of the generous sort.
- So, I cannot see why someone interested in a woman wouldn't feel the need to.
- I wouldn't mind paying, but I presume nimaan would generally find that emasculating. I was under the impression that Somali culture was one where generosity is pushed, and a deviation from that was a bad sign. Especially for nimaan.
Most men cannot afford a traditional wife. That’s the truth and that’s what’s happening in most Western countries particularly with a lot of Somali men. I don’t know why you lot lie to yourselves.
Also, traditionalism doesn’t mean you treat your wife like a glorified maid who has no savings or security.
Personally myself I would marry a traditional women from Somalia and when it comes to dating I would date a feminist but I would always steer clear of Trad-Fems jyst avoid them like a plague.
This man isn’t all that sane. I had a run in with him in another thread in which he claimed most Western Somali girls are *****.
He’s a clear cut misogynist basically.
Ah so you're one of them Halimos. I get it now. I went into this convo in good faith. But you're getting defensive.
No, because you have no leg to stand on. You can see the cost of living. You can see in the West even professional Abdis after tax are only clearly £40, 000 and that the average two bedroom in big cities is 1500 to 2000 without bills included. Yet you want to talk about ‘traditionalism’I'm gonna do the mature thing and take myself out of this convo. You don't seem to care about facts but rather care about winning a debate. Hope you have a good day
You’re one of the few kind women on SSpot and I agree with the points you stated above.
Here is my question to all Women of SSpot, why is it so effortless to drop an entire list detailing mens responsibilities, at the drop of a hat.
What responsibilities do men think they have apart from provision? This is why I think you’re delusional. What other Tangible responsibilities do you see men have and the one responsibilities of provision is too much for you.But not a single one of you can produce and equally impressive or detailed list of women’s responsibilities?
It’s this simple, all men wether they are simps, players or pimps.
Want women to be one of two things,
1) A traditional wife that prioritizes her husband, her home and her children.
2) A feminist that prioritizes her career above traditional values, and who is willing to compensate a man financially, for the privilege of sharing his masculinity.
What’s happening is the other way around. Most of you men cannot fully provide in the West but want all the so-called perks of traditionalism and this is something you can not debate. Also, as man, unless you’re biologically able to birth kids, nurse them and be the primary caregivers, 50/50 doesn’t exist. Children are a big part of marriage. Once children are in the picture, you cannot expect your wives to give birth and be the one who is up all night with the baby and also split everything with you and say it’s 50/50. The women is literally doing 70% and since she’s a mother will undeniably do more housework due to this. The issue is that your whole framework isn’t accurate and you expect dumb women who can’t do basic math to lap it up. You simply want to exploit.Now you Trad- fems as @Zob described you, are so delusional to think a self respecting man, will allow you to keep all your rights as a woman. While you share his with him at no incentive, or any form of compensation.
And then Trad-fems wonder why they only attract losers and low lives.