I wouldn't even want her to do the whole let me reach into my purse pump fake, it is better when both parties know their roles.
Women who refuse to pay on dates
- Thread starter Febbie
- Start date
- Traditionalism is fine, provided you set your wife up in case you, God forbid, perish. I hope you have property, investments or pay her.
- If she has a business of her own, she's working, and that's not a stay-at-home wife but a self-employed one who works remotely.
- For those who work, being outside the job market for too long challenges employability. Women in their childbearing years experience a motherhood penalty.
- I didn't date in my youth, but I presume the principle is that the one who invited the other party feels some obligation to pay given gendered socialization, which is often men.
- I have known generous people who have bought my meals in a group setting that were men. I wasn't aware whether they were interested in me or just of the generous sort.
- So, I cannot see why someone interested in a woman wouldn't feel the need to.
- I wouldn't mind paying, but I presume nimaan would generally find that emasculating. I was under the impression that Somali culture was one where generosity is pushed, and a deviation from that was a bad sign. Especially for nimaan.
Many gaalo people enjoy playing the 'who can exploit better' game, each trying to outdo the other. They're all a match made in heaven. They deserve each other. Similarly, non-religious Muslims often adopt the same tactics.
All those loud-mouthed, men-hating, foul-mouthed women that you see spewing nonsense on social media have the same mentality as those people. It's hard to find a woman that's religious or traditional who remotely talks like them
Ka fogaada dad dhaqan kooda waa hore ka tagay
All those loud-mouthed, men-hating, foul-mouthed women that you see spewing nonsense on social media have the same mentality as those people. It's hard to find a woman that's religious or traditional who remotely talks like them
Ka fogaada dad dhaqan kooda waa hore ka tagay
I might feel differently about paying if the woman genuinely displays grace and has a dignified and elegant demeanor. No questions asked. What I can't stand though are ones who have this weird expectations like they're on some fucking pedastal, levitating over the rest of us "mere mortals". Like it's some sort of a privilege to be in their presence
5-10yrs ago, it was rare to come across women like that, but nowadays it almost feels like it's the default. But again, let me re-iterate, if a woman displays grace, I'd pull my card out without a second thought. The not paying thing just lets me see if that's a facade or not to some extent. And I thing them reaching for their purse just soothes my ego a little.
The whole notion of being viewed as a "provider" pisses me off wallahi. I want an equal, not some dependant.
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Lol what do you mean by displaying ‘grace’? Come on wouldn’t most people be polite on a date? Like how is she meant to react my you paying her meal?I might feel differently about paying if the woman genuinely displays grace and has a dignified and elegant demeanor. No questions asked. What I can't stand though are ones who have this weird expectations like they're on some fucking pedastal, levitating over the rest of us "mere mortals". Like it's some sort of a privilege to be in their presence
We’re talking about a date that’s gone well and like her. You tend to get on with and like people who are polite. Obviously If a woman has been horrid throughout and you don’t get along with her, it would be the last date.
In the past, If I could stand a man and didn’t see a second on the cards, I’d pay for my half to soften the blow. Also some men are weird and believe that just because they paid for a cheap plate of food it means you must see them again or they get entitled.
The you have an issue with the Islamic marriage contract. Even during the marriage process you’ll be shaking her dads hand to signify that you’ll now be looking after her and she’ll be under your roof now lol. Like the whole Nikkah process signifies that
.Providing for her, will still make her your equal since as a man you’re not providing for her for free. She’s giving birth to your kids and looking after your home. I think your mindset stems from extreme capitalism that creates the impression that anything that isn’t monetized by companies isn’t worth seeing as work.
The only man that provides for a woman like she’s a dependent is a woman’s father. I can go back home, lounge about and do ‘F’ all and my father would look after me simply for being his daughter. I’ll always be dependent in my fathers eyes. My husband on the other hand expects me to shoulder the responsibilities of looking after a home and children.
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Woman want to be independent and liberal in every scenario except for when it comes to bills 
Yes and men believe in equality under every scenario apart from when it comes to cooking and cleaning.Woman want to be independent and liberal in every scenario except for when it comes to bills
You find in life, it’s men who like to pick and choose.
You are coming off very 1 dimensional and should always differentiate as a 1st world man you should be flexible depending on what type of female you are dealing with, there is no blanket blanket black and white approach otherwise you lose as a man.
You are not up to date, nowadays you have what is called 'trad-fems' they are traditional-feminists and they are worst you have -
1. Traditional women
2. Feminists
3. Trad-Fems
Trad-Fems are greedy, have no values and want the best of both world without any of the sacrifices or contributions that the normal 1. traditional woman would give or the 2. feminist woman would give.
For example a traditional woman would do take care of the housekeeping, cooking and children when the man is paying the rent, bills, working full time and providing protection.
Another example is feminists who are OK or expect to go 50/50 in dates and relationships and even in marriage and want to share housekeeping and cooking duties, untill the first born baby comes into the picture then no more 50/50 and the man would fully provide and the woman take care care of the housekeeping and cooking.
The last example is these so called Trad-Fems they want the man man to pay for the dates and in marriage they want the man to fully provide pay all the rent and bills and work full time and to protect and also help out with cooking and cleaning while the Trad-Fems also works full time before she has children and doesn't want to contribute as she thinks it's the mans duty. Trad-Fems bring nothing to the table and are the worst of the worst.
Traditional women are honest.
Feminists are honest
Trad-Fems are not honest
@Journey. many of the females in this thread are Trad-Fems.
Trad-Fems are qashin they are not wifey material or even dating material.
Many Muslim females from the 1st world who are bred and Educated here are Trad-Fems they need to vetted
Personally myself I would marry a traditional women from Somalia and when it comes to dating I would date a feminist but I would always steer clear of Trad-Fems jyst avoid them like a plague.
Trad-Fems bring absolutely nothing to the table compared to traditional women or a normal feminist female.
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Most Men want a traditional wife. Most Woman want to marry a traditional man but some Woman themselves aren't willing to be traditional wives.
That's the truth. That's the problem.
Kisame
Plotting world domination
Life is easier when you date a women that's a provider.
#softguyera #drizzledrizzle
Kisame
Plotting world domination
Them hastags
There's high value women willing to provide for us out there #drizzledrizzle
Let me put you on game #drizzledrizzle
Most men cannot afford a traditional wife. That’s the truth and that’s what’s happening in most Western countries particularly with a lot of Somali men. I don’t know why you lot lie to yourselves.
Also, traditionalism doesn’t mean you treat your wife like a glorified maid who has no savings or security.
Ah so you're one of them Halimos. I get it now. I went into this convo in good faith. But you're getting defensive.
I'm gonna do the mature thing and take myself out of this convo. You don't seem to care about facts but rather care about winning a debate. Hope you have a good day
You’re one of the few kind women on SSpot and I agree with the points you stated above.
Here is my question to all Women of SSpot, why is it so effortless to drop an entire list detailing mens responsibilities, at the drop of a hat.
But not a single one of you can produce and equally impressive or detailed list of women’s responsibilities?
It’s this simple, all men wether they are simps, players or pimps.
Want women to be one of two things,
1) A traditional wife that prioritizes her husband, her home and her children.
2) A feminist that prioritizes her career above traditional values, and who is willing to compensate a man financially, for the privilege of sharing his masculinity.
Now you Trad- fems as @Zob described you, are so delusional to think a self respecting man, will allow you to keep all your rights as a woman. While you share his with him at no incentive, or any form of compensation.
And then Trad-fems wonder why they only attract losers and low lives.
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Only reason why I pay is because I make way more than them. I’m like that with my friends too. Obviously not all the time but most of the time I just end up grabbing the bill.
Although If I’m on a date with a surgeon chick and it’s like date 3 and she doesn’t do that fake reach for the purse then I’d feel weird but most of the time nah cause why should I expect going Dutch on a bill on someone I make more than?
I curious about the self made wealthy women and how they navigate dates? Do they allow the guy to keep his masculinity or do they think like me and try and cover it because they earn more.
Although If I’m on a date with a surgeon chick and it’s like date 3 and she doesn’t do that fake reach for the purse then I’d feel weird but most of the time nah cause why should I expect going Dutch on a bill on someone I make more than?
I curious about the self made wealthy women and how they navigate dates? Do they allow the guy to keep his masculinity or do they think like me and try and cover it because they earn more.
@Zob
What I'm getting from this thread is:
1. Many of the brothers here don't mind paying for a woman they deem worth it (i.e., one who is traditional/feminine/elegant, etc.).
2. However, they don't believe the majority of western women fit this category. Most here believe western women incl. Xalimos are selfish, entitled, feminists (or "trad-fems") etc., and these are the types they loathe to spend on.
Would you then not agree that sisters are right in concluding that a man's willingness to pay for a woman is a good litmus-test for whether he values/respects/appreciates her or not?
Are you a Muslim? By "dating" I assume most mean meeting a potential in open spaces, chaperoned. But this is just standard western dating.
A lot of the men here seem to have a disturbingly low opinion of Western sisters. Although saying they're ***** is more extreme and messed up.
What I'm getting from this thread is:
1. Many of the brothers here don't mind paying for a woman they deem worth it (i.e., one who is traditional/feminine/elegant, etc.).
2. However, they don't believe the majority of western women fit this category. Most here believe western women incl. Xalimos are selfish, entitled, feminists (or "trad-fems") etc., and these are the types they loathe to spend on.
Would you then not agree that sisters are right in concluding that a man's willingness to pay for a woman is a good litmus-test for whether he values/respects/appreciates her or not?
Are you a Muslim? By "dating" I assume most mean meeting a potential in open spaces, chaperoned. But this is just standard western dating.
A lot of the men here seem to have a disturbingly low opinion of Western sisters. Although saying they're ***** is more extreme and messed up.
No, because you have no leg to stand on. You can see the cost of living. You can see in the West even professional Abdis after tax are only clearly £40, 000 and that the average two bedroom in big cities is 1500 to 2000 without bills included. Yet you want to talk about ‘traditionalism’I'm gonna do the mature thing and take myself out of this convo. You don't seem to care about facts but rather care about winning a debate. Hope you have a good day
The issue is that this discussion with someone like you can never be in good faith since you don’t want to talk about the reality on the ground.
What responsibilities do men think they have apart from provision? This is why I think you’re delusional. What other Tangible responsibilities do you see men have and the one responsibilities of provision is too much for you.
What’s happening is the other way around. Most of you men cannot fully provide in the West but want all the so-called perks of traditionalism and this is something you can not debate. Also, as man, unless you’re biologically able to birth kids, nurse them and be the primary caregivers, 50/50 doesn’t exist. Children are a big part of marriage. Once children are in the picture, you cannot expect your wives to give birth and be the one who is up all night with the baby and also split everything with you and say it’s 50/50. The women is literally doing 70% and since she’s a mother will undeniably do more housework due to this. The issue is that your whole framework isn’t accurate and you expect dumb women who can’t do basic math to lap it up. You simply want to exploit.
Also, your last part Kane. Traditional men do this all the time. Simply go to Somalia or the Arab world where I’m at. Women married to middle/upper class men do
Not cook and clean. They have maids. Men here routinely get maids for their wives and this is the norm. This is the thing, you believe traditionalism is a man getting his money’s worth out of a woman. That’s how you operate instead of trying to make your spouses life easier. Im in a traditional society, you’re not. You cannot even use the excuse of them not having self respect when nearly every and I mean every man that can afford it here gets a maid for his wife. In fact you’ll be seen as a loser here if you deprive your wife of help when you can afford it. Yet these women are being fully provided for and a fool like you would argue that these is no ‘incentive’ for these men. You’re not traditional, you’re a just exploitative man who doesn’t want to help his wife raise his kids and unfortunately a lot of men on this forum fall under this.
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