Will You Support Your Wife's Family Financially?

[Mr Sufi]

For sure times have changed. I just can’t see a diaspora guy born and raised in the West agreeing to such an arrangement. I can see resentment building and the couple ultimately breaking up.

Many want to live a life they’ve never had and want their children to have a live they never had. Giving money to relatives, I can see, may become a huge issue in the marriage. Obv this is my opinion.

Giving money to her parents cool here and there whatever / but giving money to able body people who live in the west f*ck nooooooo
I have seen HALIMOS and Abdis give money to alcoholic druggy or just lazy aunt and uncle's / that's never happening in my marriage / send me to starving when we can but people in the west NOPE

 

[Calaf]

Do you support the clan?

Of course, but never in terms of violence or Tribal issues. I send money back to the folks, or to the kids who came to Mogadishu.

 

[BobSmoke]

Every dollar that comes in the household is OUR money and whichever side that needs help will be helped hadaan awoodno.

She'll have some money to enjoy herself but the rest goes to me so that our money goes to ayuuto.

That is the main reason why I will not wife an ajnabi because this type of money management don't make sense to them.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

Its not his responsibility, he married her not the extended family. She can send her benefit or whatever she gets from the government to send to her family in Africa.

I wouldn't burden my husband.

 

[The alchemist]

Of course, but never in terms of violence or Tribal issues. I send money back to the folks, or to the kids who came to Mogadishu.

You know, I thought all the qabil bravado here was mostly in jest. It's interesting seeing someone putting money where their mouth is.

 

[SOULSEARCHING]

My father only sends to his family so does my mother

 

[Amirah]

What’s your position on that same question? @Calaf

 

[Amazonian]

Absolutely

Ladies, if the man you're in love with doesnt send money to relatives back in Africa....ka carar I repeat ka tilaabso, mar sadeexaad run away from that nigga he a bum

 

[Calaf]

You know, I thought all the qabil bravado here was mostly in jest. It's interesting seeing someone putting money where their mouth is.

Life is indeed too short to mess around and transgress later on. Online FKD aside (which it doesn't marinate in real life), the betterment of your people is the best solution in life. Your wife's family, your family, your extended family, your tribesmen, your people. Whatever loose change you would have, it can go to those less fortune.

 

[Calaf]

What’s your position on that same question? @Calaf

100% would send and support my wife's family. If I have the money, I have no issue to do so. I would endorse that too.

Don't forget, a marriage is unity between 2 families. So since both sides are your kids family, you need to ensure that there is no resentment, especially as something as pity as financial.

 

[Regg]

Never except for emergency reasons, that extra hard earning money of mine will go toward my hobbies and savings. How else will I do it in a country with insanely high cost of living?! Why should I give it someone who is dependent on their sons?!

 

[Amirah]

100% would send and support my wife's family. If I have the money, I have no issue to do so. I would endorse that too.

Don't forget, a marriage is unity between 2 families. So since both sides are your kids family, you need to ensure that there is no resentment, especially as something as pity as financial.

This I also agree, can’t imagine not helping either family while living comfortably. That’s just asking for inkaar straight up.

but the question i meant to ask was the one you asked us earlier: “Can I ask you something, are you willing to pay for your husbands student loan/loan if your the current breadwinner? And vice versa, or would you expect your husbands to pay yours?”

 

[Calaf]

This I also agree, can’t imagine not helping either family while living comfortably. That’s just asking for inkaar straight up.

but the question i meant to ask was the one you asked us earlier: “Can I ask you something, are you willing to pay for your husbands student loan/loan if your the current breadwinner? And vice versa, or would you expect your husbands to pay yours?”

Realistically, yes. From a Islamic point of view, I have to assist in order to reduce the risk of gaining interests which then becomes a sin. Unity in marriage, so why not, your debts becomes mine too. (Of course, some may resent the idea, I would have previously said, "hell nah, not my problem" as a teen. But you realise that your not competing against each other, but in it together)

 

[World]

I wouldn’t send money to anyone outside of my own family or my tol/clan.

 

[Deekhow]

The Somali Dhaqan has been corrupted but these are what I grew up with:
1. Once a girl is married she's part and parcel of the family that married her. Supporting her family ( other than the general qaraan) is No NO.
2. Men have to support their families both immediate and extended.
Since the dependency issue creeped in back home I witnessed this scenarios:
1. A family demanding high meher and support for the girls family ( daily upkeep)
2. Families that have sons abroad and want the son-in-law to send them money and don't wanna bother their sons.
My conclusion:
General support is fine, but priorities have to be straightforward:
1. Your household ( you and your spouse)
2. Immediate family members ( not daily upkeep but something that builds them a future i.e schooling, some type of investment
3. The spouse's family sometimes and when you can afford.

If NOT you will all be resentful and die poor.

 

[Mercury]

I don't see the big issue with helping her side of the family helping less financially stable relatives is part of our culture its sadaqah and the wealth you have today is a test you'll be asked about your reward is with Allah swt

 

[stophatingtho]

yes

 

[SomaliSteel]

Depends if they are back home its more feasible, but they would need to start a business or something to have their own income. How many members of the family? It all factors in but supporting a whole extended family forever is not feasible

 

[Marsh]

Lol, diaspora men can be confusing

The amount of times my dad sent me money to drop to the xawalad for my mum's family back home..


Of course, times have changed.
I personally don't expect my future husband to support my family. It is not his responsibility. But if we can afford it, it won't sit right with me to watch my family struggle..

You cant compare a country with a 70% unemployment rate to here. I would turn into a Republican they need to stop being lazy and work. Also supporting a family back in Somalia is much cheaper I wouldn't have a problem with it and its the norm for men to send money to the wifes family back home.

 

[Basra]

My cousin met this qurux amazing girl. She is a nurse, good character and very hard working. Only bummer he says, her family financially depend on her.

He is worried the family will expect him to support them after they get married. I am speechless
Is this a legit concern men have?

Obviously u r bon in UK doqoontiyeeey


The obligations of supporting your family and your spouse family in Somalia NEVER ENDS