Will You Support Your Wife's Family Financially?

[Desert Flower]

That is why it's all about affordability. If you can't do it and you have your other more immediate obligations, then it is what it is.

But this is an important topic that many couples don't talk about before marriage. We are all obliged to look after our parents especially as they approach old age. A wife might be an only child, have useless brothers ect. This wasn't an issue for our parents generation as the cost of living in Somalia is incredibly cheap. Its a hard one. All the more reason as to why as women we can't afford to just be a housewives.

Exactly. But I think @Hodan from HR is talking about a situation where the girls money goes towards the bills, rent, food and other big expenses rather than a few hundred that the family can use for miscellaneous things. Now that she’s married, instead of her money going towards herself and her new household, that money is still being used to care for her immediate family. I’m wondering how that can be sustainable? Basically the girl won’t be able to save for herself, pay for her children’s expenses etc. What if she wants to stop working and care for her children? She can’t because another household is dependent on her.

I also as a woman would not want a guy who has to support two families, ours and his. That would cost a huge strain in our marriage and relationship.

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[Omnya]

I know a guy that was introduced to a girl for marriage soon after he was no long interested because her family was back home. He told his friends he didn’t want to send money to his wife’s family. It surprises me that Men like this still exist

 

[Lostbox]

My stingy ass is suddenly feel broke today. Can't afford it ask me tomorrow

 

[HIBAQ123]

Watch, without even reading any comments I automatically predict majority of them will say hell no! Because when things don’t benefit them directly it’s the hell with dhaqan and deen. Suddenly they have western values but as soon a situation benefits the woman, they transport back 1400 years and it’s all rigid dhaqan iyo deen lol. It’s hilarious to watch people with no true convictions or moral ground. Now let’s see...

I always enjoy your posts. Keep exposing the hypocrisy of faraxs girl, you’re doing the lord’s work

 

[Vanessa]

If I were a guy, yes I would support my extended family, because we’re family.

 

[Lostbox]

What have well all learnt today?

Step 1) Don't marry into poverty

Step 2) follow step 1

 

[HIBAQ123]

@Amirah @Desert Flower @Hodan from HR @HIBAQ123

Are you willing to take the burden of a man that near perfect and ticks all the right boxes but hude a debt that you'll both be paying for decades?

I don’t think finance will be a concern for me in the future, since I’m pursuing a career that’ll pay me very well

 

[Fiorenza]

I’ve never heard of that sounds like old geeljire culture these days things like that are ceeb personally I would never ask my brother in law for money even £1 ,in my family that’s considered rude and abnormal. The male sibling of the girl should be supporting his parents not the brother in law, it’s not his responsibility.

 

[Zoobear]

I would support her family financially in certain areas like medical and eid gifts.

 

[Hodan from HR]

I’ve never heard of that sounds like old geeljire culture these days things like that are ceeb personally I would never ask my brother in law for money even £1 ,in my family that’s considered rude and abnormal. The male sibling of the girl should be supporting his parents not the brother in law, it’s not his responsibility.

Some families don't have sons but I agree it is ceeb for them to ask/expect.

I won't want to burden my children like that when I become parent

 

[Fiorenza]

Some families don't have sons but I agree it is ceeb for them to ask/expect.

I won't want to burden my children like that when I become parent

If no son daughters of course
If I was a man and my parents in law had no other children apart from wife I would be more then happy to support them as long as they are grateful and treat me well. At the end of the day allah will reward you in the hereafter for your kindness
It’s a difficult burden but that’s life

 

[Lostbox]

I would support her family financially in certain areas like medical and eid gifts.

They're going to tell how they are about to miss rent. Now your paying their rent.

Next is grocery. You get it?

You've heard the saying

"Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile"

 

[Zoobear]

They're going to tell how they are about to miss rent. Now your paying their rent.

Next is grocery. You get it?

You've heard the saying

"Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile"

I would offer them a job. If they refused then good luck. Daycares are pretty expensive might as well employ her parents.

 

[karkaar]

waxaasu waa ceeb in our culture even, when did I become the father of that household.When I marry a girl her provision, safety and wellbeing is all my responsibility but it stops at her.I have no objection with her parents living with us if they approach old age, but supporting a household in the west is a big no no given that we live in a welfare state. No matter what happens in this country you're very unlikely to starve.

 

[Capone]

Her parents aren’t my responsibility. Especially if they have sons.

 

[The alchemist]

Why not? If you can support the nuclear family and the clan, why not support your extended family. It will surly help you later on, or if not, it becomes a good deed for your afterlife.

It all depends on the financial situation.

Do you support the clan?

 

[Amirah]

@Hodan from HR @Desert Flower @Amirah

Can I ask you something, are you willing to pay for your husbands student loan/loan if your the current breadwinner? And vice versa, or would you expect your husbands to pay yours?

If I’m the breadwinner, meaning he’s not working or making substantially less than me than ofc I’d help him...that’s what marriage is. Both partners bills, debts, assets, problems becomes 1. Or at east that’s what I believe.

 

[Amirah]

I always enjoy your posts. Keep exposing the hypocrisy of faraxs girl, you’re doing the lord’s work

Lol, thanks lady, let’s just say I enjoy every millisecond...

 

[Reformed J]

No, her family is richer than me. Even if they weren't I probably wouldn't.

 

[Mr Sufi]

NEVER especially if they live in the west / get a job and support yourself

Sending money back home somalia here and there cool