Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[Sophisticate]

Sis, most guys around you are educated due to your proximity and social class. That is why despite what these men on here say, you’ll find it easier to find educated men than a young 20 yr old who isn’t educated and still around a com

Some here delight in discussing probabilities and extrapolating figures on inappropriate groups. When they have merely collected ancedotes on Somalis. Since we are discussing trends we see I could say I know plenty with graduate, professional and advanced degrees (male/female). I realize its who you know and the older you get the more you see people that match this description. Most marry their age peers in this generation. There are no ridiculous age gaps. They are far less common. Though this narrative is often pushed.

 

[XawoTako]

A Somali girl I know from work is getting married soon, she’s a beautiful, educated RN with a 4 year degree and her soon to be husband is a warehouse worker with no university education. Obv I congratulated her but internally I was like wtf. And I see this so often with Somali girls unfortunately.

Personally I believe as a woman it is in your best interest to marry a man either someone on your level or above. Marrying a man who doesn’t make as much as you do when you are educated and have a well paying job isn’t gonna do you any favours. You will automatically become the main breadwinner or have to split the bills 50/50. The husband can’t be the provider for you and your family as he is Islamically supposed to because he literally doesn’t have the means to. You will have no choice but to take on that role. When you have children this will be amplified. You cant stay at home with your babies for as long as you would like bc you gotta go back to work asap to put food on the table. Meanwhile you’re still doing majority of the domestic chores at home as that is the cultural expectation. While busting your ass at work. What kind of life is this?

I know it’s slim pickings out there and a lot of women will marry any guy they can find that treats them decent but a man’s income and occupation matters..don’t settle for a man below your level.

I understand your point but at the same time just because a man is educated and has a nice career doesn’t mean he will be a provider because some men are naturally stingy.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

So your advice is essentially follow the mantra: Happy wife, happy life (with an Islamic twist to it)? I think that is the naïveté of being a female and not knowing or having to know the burden of being the man of the house.

that’s no what she said though broski
She was basically saying in marriage there has to be something there beyond duties and responsibilities or else it’ll be a strictly transactional relationship. If the couple enjoys each others company then odds are much higher that the marriage will be a happier and longer one.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

Tbh I don't really talk to somali women irl much.
I notice that whenever we pass each other in school of the streets we are both in ajnabi groups and just give an awkward stare.
I find it easier to jokingly flirt around with ajnabi women than start a convo with Xalimos in school they think I already know them and I'm gonna snitch to their hooyo.
I'm generally more reserved when talking to somali women because I see that I hold them to higher regard for whatever reason I can't put into words

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Warya it’s Ramadan. Also put me on game youngin I cba being incel

we losing our grip on them sxb



I better not catch @HIBAQ123 dhuxul asss in 5yrs talking about where are the good somali men

at. Stay over there

It’s so over we literally don’t even have access to our own women anymore.

 

[j&jenterprises]

that’s no what she said though broski
She was basically saying in marriage there has to be something there beyond duties and responsibilities or else it’ll be a strictly transactional relationship. If the couple enjoys each others company then odds are much higher that the marriage will be a happier and longer one.

Definitely walaal. Allah SWT has put Sakina between the spouses, they are the comfort to one another. The difficulty is navigating how to lead a household while also making sure your spouse is content (age old question of leadership in general I guess, how do you motivate the troops while still achieving your mission / how do you maximise productivity while planning ahead on a project, etc)

 

[ReerVanCadde]

I gave a thumbs down to the op, solely because she can't understand that being a warehouse worker at least shows he's willing to work.
When your parents/grandparents came over from Somalia were they not unemployed? I laugh at this *marrying down* bs that's being peddled.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Don't over exaggerate it walaal.
I don't see somali men or women walking around with ajnabi partners.
It is usually a one of thing that I see once every once in a while.

We somalis are a homogenous people who don't like to date out, black people have guys walking around with pale white skin but got a big nose and afro hair because of a black parent and they would still be considered simply black which would never fly with somalis.

This you?

Don't worry @seldiboy here in the Uk the Xalimos are going after everyone these days. I don't know what we men did to hurt their feelings

 

[ReerVanCadde]

I literally make bank myself late 20s and I'd give it all up to go back to my early 20s with a decent wife and live in cardboard box.

 

[Keep it a boqol]

Tbh I don't really talk to somali women irl much.
I notice that whenever we pass each other in school of the streets we are both in ajnabi groups and just give an awkward stare.
I find it easier to jokingly flirt around with ajnabi women than start a convo with Xalimos in school they think I already know them and I'm gonna snitch to their hooyo.
I'm generally more reserved when talking to somali women because I see that I hold them to higher regard for whatever reason I can't put into words

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Talk to them like normal human beings they’re not sacred or will attack you. They don’t mind male friends

 

[Waa dhamatay]

I literally make bank myself late 20s and I'd give it all up to go back to my early 20s with a decent wife and live in cardboard box.

Money is pointless if you don’t have a partner to enjoy it with

 

[Khaem]

Talk to them like normal human beings they’re not sacred or will attack you. They don’t mind male friends

I do talk to a small group of Somali girls occasionally from my old school and we just catch up sometimes have a laugh then go onto our lesson

 

[Khaem]

This you?


View attachment 263054

Ay bro pulled up the reciepts on me

 

[Angelina]

Some here delight in discussing probabilities and extrapolating figures on inappropriate groups. When they have mere collected ancedotes on Somalis. As someone who knows plenty with graduate, professional and advanced degrees (male/female). I realize its who you know and the older you get the more you see people that match this description. Most marry their age peers in this generation. There are no ridiculous age gaps. They are far less common.

Most of the guys here don’t have enough experience when it comes to the world at large, nor do they bother to look at data or studies on the subject matter that will illustrate the reality on the ground. The views are definitely from the internet which is filled with the ramblings of low quality men who aren’t even doing that well. There is no denying that men don’t care about a woman’s degree or wealth as much as women do, but men tend to marry within their social class due to proximity. Also, men that value education do indeed want a somewhat educated and intelligent wife. I’ve said this time and time again on this thread, a woman that isn’t educated and that lives in a low-socioeconomic area regardless of how young and beautiful she is will struggle to find a upper middle class partner unless she tries to find a way to leave that environment so that she can be in close proximity to the so called ‘high value’ men she desires, therefore, some form of education and job will be needed to break into that social circle. Rich men aren’t going to look for a wife in the ghetto or on an estate in a poor rundown area.

 

[Khaem]

Warya it’s Ramadan. Also put me on game youngin I cba being incel

It’s so over we literally don’t even have access to our own women anymore.

I mean in the UK we somalis are known to be really religious especially the women who are seen are unaccessible by ajnabi men.
The Somali women I meet don't date out.

Also put me on game youngin I cba being incel

Lol I am similar to how I am on the internet. Irl I am known as a man with no filter.
This morning college was empty and I was sitting in the cafeteria on Sspot and then I saw this Colombian girl I only spoke to once last year and I decided to walk up to her and ask if she remembered me and made up some random bs about how the old teacher is. She was smiley so I just took it from there and worked the convo into getting to know her better and it was good until her bloody teacher came to class and I had to say bye.

When you talk to anyone, including girls, they will make their first impression of you within 3 seconds and will show what they think through their facial expression, body or what they say.
So if I try talk to a girl and she responds with attitude or she ain't bothered then I say bye and leave within like 10 seconds. If she is more open and responds well then I would keep the conversation going and see if it goes anywhere. Also I don't go talk to a girl simply because of horniness, I have lots of platonic friendships with lots of them and they helped me outs lots so don't be sad if you can't get some romance with a specific girl. I wouldn't call it the "friendzone" because we kinda just chill for some time and have a laugh before going on our way. Just keep talking to new people and eventually you will find lots of friendships and eventually a relationship. Personally, I am good at starting conversations but when she shows interest back I act clueless cause I got no clue what to do.

If ya'll remember that girl under the tree story, I still wanna die after that one. I fumbled a hot slav who was into me, I can never recover

 

[j&jenterprises]

Most of the guys here don’t have enough experience when it comes to the world at large, nor do they bother to look at data or studies on the subject matter that will illustrate the reality on the ground. The views are definitely from the internet which is filled with the ramblings of low quality men who aren’t even doing that well. There is no denying that men don’t care about a woman’s degree or wealth as much as women do, but men tend to marry within their social class due to proximity. Also, men that value education do indeed want a somewhat educated and intelligent wife. I’ve said this time and time again on this thread, a woman that isn’t educated and that lives in a low-socioeconomic area regardless of how young and beautiful she is will struggle to find a upper middle class partner unless she tries to find a way to leave that environment so that she can be in close proximity to the so called ‘high value’ men she desires, therefore, some form of education and job will be needed to break into that social circle. Rich men aren’t going to look for a wife in the ghetto or on an estate in a poor rundown area.

Why is it hard to understand that an educated brother from the West can marry a sister back home and get along with peacefully? Alhamdullilah its very common and its clear as day why. You postulate that people marry their own social bracket, meh - that is a Western notion.

 

[Angelina]

Why is it hard to understand that an educated brother from the West can marry a sister back home and get along with peacefully? Alhamdullilah its very common and its clear as day why. You postulate that people marry their own social bracket, meh - that is a Western notion.

It really isnt. How many men unless they have their own business or are digital nomads can leave their jobs four to six months in a year to visit their wives? Most men who go marry back home tend to be self employed Uber drivers or older men who have their own businesses. A doctor or corporate Abdi doesn’t have the luxury to spend a lot of time outside of the country.

This is why I think you’re a ciyaal. No real life experiences nor do you think through your points which betrays your illogical stances. Professional Abdis are indeed mostly married to Western women whether Somali or ajnabi.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

It really isnt. How many men unless they have their own business or are digital nomads can leave their jobs four to six months in a year to visit their wives? Most men who go marry back home tend to be self employed Uber drivers or older men who have their own businesses. A doctor or corporate Abdi doesn’t have the luxury to spend a lot of time outside of the country.

This is why I think you’re a ciyaal.

They bring them back to the west.

 

[Angelina]

They bring them back to the west.

In the UK, they hardly ever do. That is a fact. Most won’t out of fear of their wives becoming Westernized and or her leaving.

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

In the UK, they hardly ever do. That is a fact. Most won’t out of fear of their wives being Westernized and or her leaving.

Most don't, youre right, especially the fob ones. But the few westernized Somalis actually do.

 

[𝕃𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕙]

@AbdiFreedom @Javelin @HIBAQ123 @Angelina

Although I usually refrain myself from these kind of threads; I have to firstly admit that your arguments are very entertaining and valid.

Secondly, most men on this thread agree with AbdiFreedom and Javelin whilst most women agree with Angelina and HIBAQ123.

What neither of you two parties are ready to accept is that you may be wrong, so this entire thread has spiralled into a 10-page long "who' s louder?" competition.
You see, men have their own reality which a woman would never truly understand and vice versa. If both of you try to make all your premises based on past experiences, this argument will never come to an end.

@Sophisticate saw through this I can tell.

Oh yeah and congrats to @empressjamila for a 10 page thread without a single post besides the OP