Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

[Angelina]

Can you or @Angelina explain to me why most women want a man that makes more then them while having a problem with the pay gap?

Because a woman earning more doesn’t have any benefits as the same men that get help from their wives financially, refuse to help their wives like wise with the chores. Whilst life is give and take, many men still want to be served whilst not being full providers.

Also, men’s ego and not feeling like a man because the wife is the main breadwinner can be lethal. A lot of men are insecure and it isn’t something I’m making up. Studies show that there is an increase in spousal violence if a man feels that his wife is more educated or richer than he is. Physical dominance becomes a way for him to flex his masculinity, since he can’t provide more than her.

Can you see why now? Unless men obviously not all as many are chill and actually have good marriages with women earning a bit more, but unless a lot of men deal with their egos ect, then it will continue being an issue.

 

[mrlog]

i already have a partner of 3 years who i met while in uni looool at you assuming my life

i dont like reverts, they tend to be ugly and/or broke

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Somali Saayid]

Wallahi, I’m so confused. Do you even like women? Why would any woman want to settle down with a man who doesn’t even like her presence and would rather give his happiness and laughter only to his boys?

Basically you only value men. That is it. What sane woman who isn’t desperate for resources would put up with that?

No one wants to around someone that doesn’t like them, value them or even wants to have a good memories with them.

With your point it’s obvious that your love, laughter and overall value is only for your boys. That is contrary to any happy marriage. Since you like to portray yourself as a traditionalist. Take on the tradition of the Prophet s.a.w and look at how he used to laugh with his wives particularly Aisha. Look at how he used to take the advice and wisdom of Umm Salamah and look at how Khadijah was the woman who he values immensely.



Also, are you that delusional? How do you even benefit any girl that actually doesn’t need you survive? What can you offer if you can’t even offer companionship, friendship and actual an actual loving relationship?

No girls with actual means or options of being able to provide for themselves would want to condemn themselves to a life without someone to enjoy and laugh with. It simply doesn’t benefit it us

Life is a trade off, a girl back home would take that deal because she gets a roof over her head and consistent money coming in. If I have all of that already, why wouldn’t I seek companionship and love? Also, luckily for us most guys don’t think like you.

Spinsterhood or divorce is a better fate than a soulless marriage that is there to benefit one party and one party alone. You don’t even understand that the joys of marriage is having that person who is there for you and that a union filled with laughter, love and compassion is the cornerstone of a happy marriage.

You need to understand that if you can’t even offer friendship, love and understanding, then you’re useless unless the woman is poverty stricken or needs your finances. You’ll forever be a glorified ATM. Women in the West have no use for you, because they can do just fine without a dead weight man that will simply make them miserable as he doesn’t even like them enough to want to have a friendship with them

You need to get that through that head of yours and many men don’t which is why singledom is more of an issue for guys in the West than it is for women overall, unless you go back home.

waa waarey!
A whole report on what was wrong with a paragraph response.

 

[Angelina]

waa waarey!
A whole report on what was wrong with a paragraph response.

I’m tempted to create a whole thread about that mental illness of a post. Why marry if you don’t even like your future wife enough to be able to actually have a laugh with her and enjoy her company? He basically said, I have my male friends for that, so he wants to give all of his love and laughter to his boys? Does that sound normal to you? It’s Ramadan, so let me not, but that is ajeeb on so many levels and tbh it sounds wrong…

I’ll give you a perspective, degenerate Ancient Greeks used to say that. Women are for duty and procreation, men are for love and friendship. I don’t want to go into detail but that type of thinking actually bred rampant shaydaanimo.

Whilst our deen literally has a whole corpus and tradition of fostering love and friendship with one’s wife, this young man wants to take on the pagan homo fueled take on relationships.

 

[reer]

That's a little much, dude

A relationship that endures for a couple of years usually results in marriage

with muslims of immigrant backgrounds its different. a significant number dump their cadaan bf/gf when given choice between love and family. parents can say "its us or them no inbetween". so youll see relationships that dont result in marriage for reasons such as 1-parents will refuse 2-a guy is having fun and will later marry a girl from his ethnicity 3- a girl is having fun etc 4-they are enjoying the moment they know the relationship wont last

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

That's a little much, dude

A relationship that endures for a couple of years usually results in marriage

You don’t know these cadaans they stay together for decades without marrying sometimes

 

[Khaemwaset]

You don’t know these cadaans they stay together for decades without marrying sometimes

In white countries its normal for the cadaan woman to leave the dudlet after 12 years because "she was bored."
Which is code for "you're too boring so I'm banging some other guys"
Seeing it happen to much it's why lots of men are refusing to get married nowadays

 

[empressjamila]

I don’t know when you became a redpiller or started to fall into that rabbit hole. Late 20s women aren’t lucking out, they’re the most married demographic simply because all women from all backgrounds are marrying later. The average Somali girl is in fact marrying that age. Men are in fact much more likely to marry 26-29 yr old, simply because that is the age women marry the most.

A lot of women aren’t marrying later because of feminism. I know many women that have gladly married at 23, but they simply couldn’t find anyone or didn’t have good options then, but options can become better if you’re in a more professional environment or you move. A beautiful 23 yr old in a working class hood area isn’t going to have better options that a 28 yr old that is actually around a more educated and sophisticated group.

He sounds out of touch with the current reality. Most people born and raised in the west are marrying later these days. Men and women. All races and ethnic groups. Most women these days don’t want to settle down at 21 so a man in his late 20’s or 30’s that wants to settle down will tend to go for a woman around their age who also wants those things.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

I’m tempted to create a whole thread about that mental illness of a post. Why marry if you don’t even like your future wife enough to be able to actually have a laugh with her and enjoy her company? He basically said, I have my male friends for that, so he wants to give all of his love and laughter to his boys? Does that sound normal to you? It’s Ramadan, so let me not, but that is ajeeb on so many levels and tbh it sounds wrong…

I’ll give you a perspective, degenerate Ancient Greeks used to say that. Women are for duty and procreation, men are for love and friendship. I don’t want to go into detail but that type of thinking actually bred rampant shaydaanino.

Whilst our deen literally has a whole corpus and tradition of fostering love and friendship with one’s wife, this young man wants to take on the pagan homo fueled take on relationships.

There’s no way I’d be able to marry a woman I couldn’t talk to and laugh with. Hamdullilah I’ve had a great example my whole life in my parents. They always seemed to enjoy each others company and often laughed together.

 

[j&jenterprises]

With your point it’s obvious that your love, laughter and overall value is only for your boys. That is contrary to any happy marriage. Since you like to portray yourself as a traditionalist. Take on the tradition of the Prophet s.a.w and look at how he used to laugh with his wives particularly Aisha. Look at how he used to take the advice and wisdom of Umm Salamah and look at how Khadijah was the woman who he valued immensely.

I love the brotherhood, man I can spend a whole day with the brothers talking everything from who will win in a three-way fight gorilla vs grizzly bear vs siberian tiger to talking about how Somalia’s sudden civil war is indeed connected to the fall of Soviet & Gulf War which is intimately connected to US foreign policy hawks global plan to keep the world unipolar for the foreseeable future. All of this while running agenda on brothers without anyone taking it personal or any shade.

 

[HIBAQ123]

It's clear she's not with a white man or maybe with a low value white man and is projecting due to the males in her life. Even constant abuse from a father or brothers should not have you be nasty towards Somali men in general. She is obviously someone with very extreme negative interactions with a few Somali men. A normal liberal white man would also not want to hear negativity about Somali/Black men.

My other issue is if she is indeed with a white man, whatever value he is, that she is in a very rare relationship and to be careful in insinuating in the future, while bashing Somali/Black men and to level up, that Somali women have a chance with white men because 99% do not. It creates more delusion.

1. I used to be totally cool with Somali men before joining this site idk many irl - now i know their sentiments so naturally i dislike them now

2. I don’t talk about race or shit with my guy at all, and I have enough xishood to keep my beef to myself

3. you’re up in here calling me bitter but here you are telling Somali women they have no chance with other men because if their skin colour. Everything your saying about people and their preferences are based on stereotypes, so shove it

 

[Angelina]

I love the brotherhood, man I can spend a whole day with the brothers talking everything from who will win in a three-way fight gorilla vs grizzly bear vs siberian tiger to talking about how Somalia’s sudden civil war is indeed connected to the fall of Soviet & Gulf War which is intimately connected to US foreign policy hawks global plan to keep the world unipolar for the foreseeable future. All of this while running agenda on brothers without anyone taking it personal or any shade.

What does talking about Somalis civil war have to do with gender? Or the gulf war or Soviet/Gulf war ect. Just a few hours ago I having that discussion about the Somali civil war as well, Barre and even now about the future of SL ect. Let me guess you think all women talk about loving pink and about painting their nails. Your post is incredibly embarrassing and makes me wonder a lot of things.

You have an incredibly black and white view of the world and of womanhood in particular and it’s clear to see you don’t know what a healthy relationship is. Re-read @Ghengis Kaarhis post. A stark example of a healthy man vs unhealthy one. Oh and read the Seeeah of the Prophet s.a.w. You will see that he valued both the women and men in his life.

 

[j&jenterprises]

1. I used to be totally cool with Somali men before joining this site idk many irl - now i know their sentiments so naturally i dislike them now

2. I don’t talk about race or shit with my guy at all, and I have enough xishood to keep my beef to myself

3. you’re up in here calling me bitter but here you are telling Somali women they have no chance with other men because if their skin colour. Everything your saying about people and their preferences are based on stereotypes, so shove it

If you were put off by Somali men from perusing forums then I’m sorry but cadaanka laa joog sxb. Part of Somalinimo is our thick-skin, our internal disputes but our unity externally when facing the gaalo, our hard-headedness but acceptance of Haqq. Both men and women. If every Somali woman trashed me on social media and it got personal, I could never imagine using that as an excuse to marry elsewhere.

 

[Ghengis Kaarhis]

I love the brotherhood, man I can spend a whole day with the brothers talking everything from who will win in a three-way fight gorilla vs grizzly bear vs siberian tiger to talking about how Somalia’s sudden civil war is indeed connected to the fall of Soviet & Gulf War which is intimately connected to US foreign policy hawks global plan to keep the world unipolar for the foreseeable future. All of this while running agenda on brothers without anyone taking it personal or any shade.

Same here, I can spend hours talking about nothing and everything with the homies. However ultimately if you do want to get married and enjoy your marriage, you’d have to have a relationship with your wife beyond basic duties and responsibilities. There’s plenty things you can talk about and enjoy with your potential wife.
Either way inshallah you’ll be alright.

 

[j&jenterprises]

What does talking about Somalis civil war have to do with gender? Or the gulf war or Soviet/Gulf war ect. Just a few hours ago I having that discussion about the Somali civil war as well, Barre and even now about the future of SL ect. Let me guess you think all women talk about loving pink and about painting their nails. Your post is incredibly embarrassing and makes me wonder a lot of things.

You have an incredibly black and white view of the world and of womanhood in particular and it’s clear to see you don’t know what a healthy relationship is. Re-read @Ghengis Kaarhis post. A stark example of a healthy man vs unhealthy one. Oh and read the Seeeah of the Prophet s.a.w. You will see that he valued both the women and men in his life.

Will read that inshallah. I was referring more so to how simple and stress-free being around brothers is relative to the delicacy and child-like pandering that majority of women have (your avg woman communicates far more with emotion, I have had girls laugh at me doing peek-a-boo with them on several occasions). Are you seriously trying to tell me your not an exception to the rule? On avg a female would want to discuss emotional topics rather than have solid discourse on important matters (when not discussing Deen). If you do not agree then khalaas.

 

[j&jenterprises]

Same here, I can spend hours talking about nothing and everything with the homies. However ultimately if you do want to get married and enjoy your marriage, you’d have to have a relationship with your wife beyond basic duties and responsibilities. There’s plenty things you can talk about and enjoy with your potential wife.
Either way inshallah you’ll be alright.

My brother, Allahumabarik. 100%. Prophet SAW said: You are the religion of your closes friends, so look careful who you befriend. You will spend more time with your wife than any other person, of course it makes sense you will build a rapport that transcends duties. My point was that we as men do not look for everything in a wife personality wise given our simple nature and also majority of us have strong brotherhood to fall back on Alhamdullilah.

 

[Angelina]

Same here, I can spend hours talking about nothing and everything with the homies. However ultimately if you do want to get married and enjoy your marriage, you’d have to have a relationship with your wife beyond basic duties and responsibilities. There’s plenty things you can talk about and enjoy with your potential wife.
Either way inshallah you’ll be alright.

He could have a relationship that is simply duties and responsibilities and it’s called a transactional relationships. A lot of guys lie to themselves, they want all the privileges that comes with a loving relationship without actually nurturing one. You can’t have love, affection and true loyalty, if you’re not willing to also not willing to also treat your wife the same.

He needs to make do with being a glorified ATM. He needs to learn what position he plays and stick to it and he needs to understand that unless he can provide an extraordinary amount of wealth and lifestyle upgrade to a woman who already has a roof over her head and other things like that of a Western woman who can apply for the same jobs he can, what benefit is he to a woman without the joys of love and laughter?

 

[Khaemwaset]

1. I used to be totally cool with Somali men before joining this site idk many irl - now i know their sentiments so naturally i dislike them now

2. I don’t talk about race or shit with my guy at all, and I have enough xishood to keep my beef to myself

3. you’re up in here calling me bitter but here you are telling Somali women they have no chance with other men because if their skin colour. Everything your saying about people and their preferences are based on stereotypes, so shove it

How do you take anything online seriously enough to change your perception of a whole group. Your male counterparts no less.

I spent ages in shit talking in back and forth racism with all groups of people but I don't take it outside of social media because it isn't real. It's just nonsense people do to waste time.

You must be using the Internet too much.
If you took social media seriously you would think I'm a raging facist but that's just something I do on all platforms whenever I am bored. Outside of the screen I am a average person, most humans are decent people.
Stop taking online seriously, it's literally just a battle royale for bored people

 

[AbdiFreedom]

1. I used to be totally cool with Somali men before joining this site idk many irl - now i know their sentiments so naturally i dislike them now

2. I don’t talk about race or shit with my guy at all, and I have enough xishood to keep my beef to myself

3. you’re up in here calling me bitter but here you are telling Somali women they have no chance with other men because if their skin colour. Everything your saying about people and their preferences are based on stereotypes, so shove it

The stats show white people (both men and women) are the least likely to intermarry compared to any race and when they do, it's with Asians and Hispanics. They are overwhelmingly not interested in Black women as a spouse. You and your white BF is a rare situation so do the decent thing and not insinuate to impressionable Somali girls here and feed into the anti Somali male hatred. Chances are very slim they'll get a white guy and if they do, he's going to be of lower socio-economic status. Get real. We don't need a generation of already deluded people now thinking they can get a chance with a dreamy white man which screws up the situation even more.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

What does talking about Somalis civil war have to do with gender? Or the gulf war or Soviet/Gulf war ect. Just a few hours ago I having that discussion about the Somali civil war as well, Barre and even now about the future of SL ect. Let me guess you think all women talk about loving pink and about painting their nails. Your post is incredibly embarrassing and makes me wonder a lot of things.

You have an incredibly black and white view of the world and of womanhood in particular and it’s clear to see you don’t know what a healthy relationship is. Re-read @Ghengis Kaarhis post. A stark example of a healthy man vs unhealthy one. Oh and read the Seeeah of the Prophet s.a.w. You will see that he valued both the women and men in his life.

I don’t think many women enjoy talking about whether a gorilla would kill a grizzly bear in a fight