Why do a lot of Somali girls marry men that are not on their level?

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Will read that inshallah. I was referring more so to how simple and stress-free being around brothers is relative to the delicacy and child-like pandering that majority of women have (your avg woman communicates far more with emotion, I have had girls laugh at me doing peek-a-boo with them on several occasions).
Athobillah. The bit in bold, wtf, how old are you and why do you sound like you’re talking to kids. I’m sorry but no adult woman is laughing at peek-a-boo, even 5 yr olds start to find it lame.

Walal, I’m telling you this with all seriousness. Get of the damn internet.
Are you seriously trying to tell me your not an exception to the rule?
I have a friends that are lawyers, teacher and engineers, business women who even have business back home in Somalia.
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On avg a female would want to discuss emotional topics rather than have solid discourse on important matters (when not discussing Deen). If you do not agree then khalaas.
I don’t for one second believe you’ve been around women to make any real assessment and I also reckon you don’t have a close relationship with your sisters if you have one or many. Your views of women is too one-dimensional and caricature like.

I also know you’re every young as well. You’re a teen.
 

j&jenterprises

A landheere always pays his debts
He could have a relationship that is simply duties and responsibilities and it’s called a transactional relationships. A lot of guys lie to themselves, they want all the privileges that comes with a loving relationship without actually nurturing one. You can’t have love, affection and true loyalty, if you’re not willing to also not willing to also treat your wife the same.

He needs to make do with being a glorified ATM. He needs to learn what position he plays and stick to it and he needs to understand that unless he can provide an extraordinary amount of wealth and lifestyle upgrade to a woman who already has a roof over her head and other things like that of a Western woman who can apply for the same jobs he can, what benefit is he to a woman without the joys of love and laughter?
Genuine question; should a husband open up and be candid to his wife about all his affairs (just as she is candid about hers)?
 
My brother, Allahumabarik. 100%. Prophet SAW said: You are the religion of your closes friends, so look careful who you befriend. You will spend more time with your wife than any other person, of course it makes sense you will build a rapport that transcends duties. My point was that we as men do not look for everything in a wife personality wise given our simple nature and also majority of us have strong brotherhood to fall back on Alhamdullilah.
Of course you have to be careful of who you befriend, however the best or worst decision you make will most likely be who you chose to be your spouse.
I’m probably a bit older than you, I’ve seen some of my friends be the happiest that I’ve ever seen them while others are living a literal nightmare. And the common denominator was who they chose to be their spouse.
Also in terms of what you can talk to your potential wife, or even anyone honestly, is simply becoming a better conversationalist. Trusts, it’s a huge skill and once you get good at it trust me you’ll get a kick at chatting up anyone and looking a things from their perspective.
 
what does being on the same level mean? Just because someone is uneducated doesn’t mean they’re lower than you. Not everything that shines is diamond.
 
Genuine question; should a husband open up and be candid to his wife about all his affairs (just as she is candid about hers)?
Most men are. After a few years of marriage, the wife becomes the closest to a man and he ends up confiding in her in everything. Look at your own parents marriages or ones in your family. A man and a woman are a unit. She’ll never expose you and chat shit about your failures, especially when she’s been with you for years and is the mother of your kids. Your boys don’t have that level of loyalty at times.
 
He could have a relationship that is simply duties and responsibilities and it’s called a transactional relationships. A lot of guys lie to themselves, they want all the privileges that comes with a loving relationship without actually nurturing one. You can’t have love, affection and true loyalty, if you’re not willing to also not willing to also treat your wife the same.

He needs to make do with being a glorified ATM. He needs to learn what position he plays and stick to it and he needs to understand that unless he can provide an extraordinary amount of wealth and lifestyle upgrade to a woman who already has a roof over her head and other things like that of a Western woman who can apply for the same jobs he can, what benefit is he to a woman without the joys of love and laughter?
Hopefully that won’t be the case, who knows inshallah we might see @j&jenterprises post some world class poems about the woman he ends up marrying. :krs:
 

j&jenterprises

A landheere always pays his debts
Athobillah. The bit in bold, wtf, how old are you and why do you sound like you’re talking to kids. I’m sorry but no adult woman is laughing at peek-a-boo, even 5 yr olds start to find it lame.

Walal, I’m telling you this with all seriousness. Get of the damn internet.

I have a friends that are lawyers, teacher and engineers, business women who even have business back home in Somalia.
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I don’t for one second believe you’ve been around women to make any real assessment and I also reckon you don’t have a close relationship with your sisters if you have one or many. Your views of women is too one-dimensional and caricature like.

I also know you’re every young as well. You’re a teen.
Of course you have to be careful of who you befriend, however the best or worst decision you make will most likely be who you chose to be your spouse.
I’m probably a bit older than you, I’ve seen some of my friends be the happiest that I’ve ever seen them while others are living a literal nightmare. And the common denominator was who they chose to be their spouse.
Also in terms of what you can talk to your potential wife, or even anyone honestly, is simply becoming a better conversationalist. Trusts, it’s a huge skill and once you get good at it trust me you’ll get a kick at chatting up anyone and looking a things from their perspective.
Great advice my bro, jazakallah khayr. My main point to Angelina wasn’t even to be that controversial. It was just that bin Adam all have social needs. A man’s social needs (outside of intimacy) can be filled by his brothers, why a female may struggle to do so hence the laundry list long personality traits a typical woman desires relative to your simple list that a man curates which is feminine and bubbly.
 

Khaemwaset

Djiboutian 🇩🇯 | 𐒖𐒆𐒄A𐒗𐒃 🇸🇴
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It's reached the Somali community.
Don't over exaggerate it walaal.
I don't see somali men or women walking around with ajnabi partners.
It is usually a one of thing that I see once every once in a while.

We somalis are a homogenous people who don't like to date out, black people have guys walking around with pale white skin but got a big nose and afro hair because of a black parent and they would still be considered simply black which would never fly with somalis.
 

AbdiFreedom

#Pierre4PM/End Mass Immigration to 🇨🇦 #DefundUN
Staff Member
Don't over exaggerate it walaal.
I don't see somali men or women walking around with ajnabi partners.
It is usually a one of thing that I see once every once in a while.

We somalis are a homogenous people who don't like to date out, black people have guys walking around with pale white skin but got a big nose and afro hair because of a black parent and they would still be considered simply black which would never fly with somalis.

I am talking about gender hatred.
 
Great advice my bro, jazakallah khayr. My main point to Angelina wasn’t even to be that controversial. It was just that bin Adam all have social needs. A man’s social needs (outside of intimacy) can be filled by his brothers, why a female may struggle to do so hence the laundry list long personality traits a typical woman desires relative to your simple list that a man curates which is feminine and bubbly.
Women too also have varied social needs as well. We simply relate more to our own gender as well and tbh, women tend be better at juggling and forming close relationships with others(females) outside of their marriages more so than men anyways, so creating the impression it’s a male issue is false.

however a relationship without friendship is a failed one. It is a hallow transactional one and you see it a lot in our community. There is a reason why we see cases such as soon as a woman births all the kids, they’re older and middle age sets in, the husband and wife start to live in different continents with 0 connection but being married by name. If that is what you want for yourself, by all means.

Look around you, especially look at the older couples. The ones in happy marriages are the ones that can talk and laugh with each other. Once the kids leave the nest and you’re both haggard, you with your pot-belly and her with her wrinkles, attraction and intimacy simply isn’t enough. It’s the love and memories you’ve built along with the love of each other personalities that persists.
 

Khaemwaset

Djiboutian 🇩🇯 | 𐒖𐒆𐒄A𐒗𐒃 🇸🇴
VIP
I am talking about gender hatred.
Tbh I don't really talk to somali women irl much.
I notice that whenever we pass each other in school of the streets we are both in ajnabi groups and just give an awkward stare.
I find it easier to jokingly flirt around with ajnabi women than start a convo with Xalimos in school they think I already know them and I'm gonna snitch to their hooyo.
I'm generally more reserved when talking to somali women because I see that I hold them to higher regard for whatever reason I can't put into words

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j&jenterprises

A landheere always pays his debts
Women too also have varied social needs as well. We simply relate more to our own gender as well and tbh, women tend be better at juggling and forming close relationships with others(females) outside of their marriages more so than men anyways, so creating the impression it’s a male issue is false.

however a relationship without friendship is a failed one. It is a hallow transactional one and you see it a lot in our community. There is a reason why we see cases such as soon as a woman births all the kids, they’re older and middle age sets in, the husband and wife start to live in different continents with 0 connection but being married by name. If that is what you want for yourself, by all means.

Look around you, especially look at the older couples. The ones in happy marriages are the ones that can talk and laugh with each other. Once the kids leave the nest and you’re both haggard, you with your pot-belly and her with her wrinkles, attraction and intimacy simply isn’t enough. It’s the love and memories you’ve built along with the love of each other personalities that persists.
So your advice is essentially follow the mantra: Happy wife, happy life (with an Islamic twist to it)? I think that is the naïveté of being a female and not knowing or having to know the burden of being the man of the house.
 

AbdiFreedom

#Pierre4PM/End Mass Immigration to 🇨🇦 #DefundUN
Staff Member
Tbh I don't really talk to somali women irl much.
I notice that whenever we pass each other in school of the streets we are both in ajnabi groups and just give an awkward stare.
I find it easier to jokingly flirt around with ajnabi women than start a convo with Xalimos in school they think I already know them and I'm gonna snitch to their hooyo.
I'm generally more reserved when talking to somali women because I see that I hold them to higher regard for whatever reason I can't put into words

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She's probably waiting for your move.

:russ:
 
So your advice is essentially follow the mantra: Happy wife, happy life (with an Islamic twist to it)? I think that is the naïveté of being a female and not knowing or having to know the burden of being the man of the house.
Burden? Pry tell in a world in which women also understand the burden of what it is provide and can apply for the exact same jobs you do whilst also going through life altering and life threatening things like giving birth and raising infants, what extra burden do you have? It’s even more laughable when I know you’re a teen who hasn’t lived in the real world. Have you ever paid bills, rent? Tried to get on the property ladder? Worked in another country? I have done all that and I’m a woman, so you can’t tell me about any particular burden and I probably know more than you do atm.

Gone are the days in which men would go off to war, defend a whole tribe/nation and list goes on. Gone are the days when making money and provision was for men only.

your life is no different to the millions of women who probably do the exact same job as you do as well, unless you work in a oil rig, build houses ect which I know you don’t from my deduction from your other thread. There is nothing extra and there is nothing unique that only men do.

Btw, a marriage can’t be happy if it soley hinges on the happiness of the wife, both parties must make each other happy. You don’t seem to wants to do that you’re coming up with silly childish excuses.
 
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