Why are so many people so anti family these days?

[Richard Pearson]

I remembered being 13 and helping this somali family move. The habo told me if I do something with my life I can marry her daughter. Saw her and her daughter recently at a wedding and I might just have to take her up on that offer.

Me and that Habo

 

[Febbie]

How many kids would you like to raise?

I guess this is important because if its less than 3 then (which is majority of most advanced countries) then fine.

But if your plan is to continuously have babies and no intention of working for many years and or not further educating yourself then... ummm... yeah I can see why your friend looked down upon that.

 

[Richard Pearson]

I understand we’re in an era with a high cost of living but damn..people really make you seem like an idiot for wanting to get married and stay home with your kids.

Chasing a career has never really appealed to me. Like yea, it’s a necessity in this day and age and I’ll most likely still work part time on the side but I’m not gonna forgo creating a family to chase a career that dgaf about me.

I was talking about this to my friend the other day (who is in grad school right now) and she was like “wtf? Why do you wanna just pop out kids and stay home that’s so boring. Go back to school, get a better job and level yourself up”

Ive experienced similar sentiments from others. Even my hooyo wants me to go to grad school before I consider marriage and it’s like why? I make 80K a year as a nurse already and will make even more as I continue to get raises. I don’t care about furthering my education. Lemme just marry a good guy with financial stability who will let me stay home and take care of my babies. Is that so wrong? Lol

The way somali moms speak about a masters degree is as if its worth a million dollars its actually very annoying the amount of times family members told me to get one. They value the education more than the job you will have to take time away from to get the masters. It doesn’t make sense they dont understand opportunity cost and value a masters above anything.

I got a friend who bypassed UNI entirely and would just do a bunch of things like flip shoes and had various seasonal service businesses in the area like snow removal and lawn maintenance. All the local habo talked shit about him untill he bought his mom a house at 23.

 

[Garaad Awal]

I hope they don't have any children


There's a really good friend of mine, a Somali guy, he's an accountant and runs his own company. The man has been doing GREAT, and financially he's probably doing the best amongst our group of friends. He got married about 4 years ago, divorced within less than a two years. He goes back and forth between Alberta and Ontario every 3 weeks to spend time with his daughter, and planning to move permanently closer to his daughter as she starts school in a few years.
If he didn't work out for him, and literally got him significant amount of grey hair in his beard, what kind of chance a reformed saqajaan like myself has?!?1



mind you the straw that broke the camels back was an argument about furniture.....

He probably had a terrible work-life balance and didn’t communicate properly with his spouse. Also more men need to learn to mentally check out and nod your head while your wife talk’s about malayacni, it’s a fantastic skill to have

 

[Basra]

I understand we’re in an era with a high cost of living but damn..people really make you seem like an idiot for wanting to get married and stay home with your kids.

Chasing a career has never really appealed to me. Like yea, it’s a necessity in this day and age and I’ll most likely still work part time on the side but I’m not gonna forgo creating a family to chase a career that dgaf about me.

I was talking about this to my friend the other day (who is in grad school right now) and she was like “wtf? Why do you wanna just pop out kids and stay home that’s so boring. Go back to school, get a better job and level yourself up”

Ive experienced similar sentiments from others. Even my hooyo wants me to go to grad school before I consider marriage and it’s like why? I make 80K a year as a nurse already and will make even more as I continue to get raises. I don’t care about furthering my education. Lemme just marry a good guy with financial stability who will let me stay home and take care of my babies. Is that so wrong? Lol

 

[Hodan from HR]

He probably had a terrible work-life balance and didn’t communicate properly with his spouse. Also more men need to learn to mentally check out and nod your head while your wife talk’s about malayacni, it’s a fantastic skill to have

Terrible advice and a recipe for divorce..

 

[Yaraye]

I understand we’re in an era with a high cost of living but damn..people really make you seem like an idiot for wanting to get married and stay home with your kids.

Chasing a career has never really appealed to me. Like yea, it’s a necessity in this day and age and I’ll most likely still work part time on the side but I’m not gonna forgo creating a family to chase a career that dgaf about me.

I was talking about this to my friend the other day (who is in grad school right now) and she was like “wtf? Why do you wanna just pop out kids and stay home that’s so boring. Go back to school, get a better job and level yourself up”

Ive experienced similar sentiments from others. Even my hooyo wants me to go to grad school before I consider marriage and it’s like why? I make 80K a year as a nurse already and will make even more as I continue to get raises. I don’t care about furthering my education. Lemme just marry a good guy with financial stability who will let me stay home and take care of my babies. Is that so wrong? Lol

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[Gojo Satoru]

A lot men these days aren't marriage material and our moms had to put up with a lot.

 

[Macawisley]

I understand we’re in an era with a high cost of living but damn..people really make you seem like an idiot for wanting to get married and stay home with your kids.

Chasing a career has never really appealed to me. Like yea, it’s a necessity in this day and age and I’ll most likely still work part time on the side but I’m not gonna forgo creating a family to chase a career that dgaf about me.

I was talking about this to my friend the other day (who is in grad school right now) and she was like “wtf? Why do you wanna just pop out kids and stay home that’s so boring. Go back to school, get a better job and level yourself up”

Ive experienced similar sentiments from others. Even my hooyo wants me to go to grad school before I consider marriage and it’s like why? I make 80K a year as a nurse already and will make even more as I continue to get raises. I don’t care about furthering my education. Lemme just marry a good guy with financial stability who will let me stay home and take care of my babies. Is that so wrong? Lol

You are right, don’t listen to the anti family people. Let them stay single

 

[Kalsoon]

Makes absolutely no sense. Do they have bf and gf already cause otherwise

I understand we’re in an era with a high cost of living but damn..people really make you seem like an idiot for wanting to get married and stay home with your kids.

Chasing a career has never really appealed to me. Like yea, it’s a necessity in this day and age and I’ll most likely still work part time on the side but I’m not gonna forgo creating a family to chase a career that dgaf about me.

I was talking about this to my friend the other day (who is in grad school right now) and she was like “wtf? Why do you wanna just pop out kids and stay home that’s so boring. Go back to school, get a better job and level yourself up”

Ive experienced similar sentiments from others. Even my hooyo wants me to go to grad school before I consider marriage and it’s like why? I make 80K a year as a nurse already and will make even more as I continue to get raises. I don’t care about furthering my education. Lemme just marry a good guy with financial stability who will let me stay home and take care of my babies. Is that so wrong? Lol

If they make you feel bad for wanting to do what’s natural, the issue is with them. You’re the one who will regret not following your own intuition. Your friend probably doesn’t want you to pass her in life. Hooyo probably wants you to be “better” than others. Moms love bragging to other people about their kids.

You risk committing zina the longer you wait.

 

[Garaad Awal]

Terrible advice and a recipe for divorce..

You’re a woman, Ofcourse you would say that. You want a man to attentively listen to your emotional malayacni

 

[Kalsoon]

You’re a woman, Ofcourse you would say that. You want a man to attentively listen to your emotional malayacni

Your xaas is one lucky woman.

 

[Garaad Awal]

Your xaas is one lucky woman.

I hope you get lucky one day

 

[Kalsoon]

I hope you get lucky one day

Already happily married walhamdulilah

 

[Hodan from HR]

You’re a woman, Ofcourse you would say that. You want a man to attentively listen to your emotional malayacni

Diintaada soo baaro.
There's an etiquette when listening to others in Islam,

The Prophet (sa) would pay full attention to the person communicating with him. He would turn his head as well as his torso towards the speaker. Such a gesture sends a signal across to the speaker that what they are saying is of value to the listener.

Yet you speak this way of your wife and spread corruption..

 

[Gacmeey]

It’s the way people talk about home makers as if all they do is sit at home and watch the kids. Maybe that’s the way it is for some but my mom has always been active whether it is having a side hustle, managing ayuutos or taking us to soccer games etc. My mom probably had a much busier/eventful days than my father who worked in a office 9-5

 

[Garaad Awal]

Diintaada soo baaro.
There's an etiquette when listening to others in Islam,





Yet you speak this way of your wife and spread corruption..

I know more about Islam than some random westerner who probably couldn’t even read a simple news article in Arabic.

There’s a difference between attentively listening to things that matter vs listening to women ranting because of their hormone fluctuation.

 

[Chase]

They are? Feel like attitudes have changed with the newer generations.

 

[Hodan from HR]

I know more about Islam than some random westerner who probably couldn’t even read a simple news article in Arabic.

I practice the little I know, alhamdlilah.

There’s a difference between attentively listening to things that matter vs listening to women ranting because of their hormone fluctuation.

Again with the condescending tone..

 

[xxx_newacc]

What about the furniture? Was it the price or the type? Normally, Somali males don’t have an interest or a say in home furniture. Wives purchase what they want and the husband foots the bill. Also, for those who can’t afford the upfront payment of the furniture, take it on credit. I am wondering why did this argument over furniture blew into a divorce? Very unusual.

Alas, some women are unreasonable and want whatever next door Xaliimo purchased for furniture and she has to match. Such type are the illiterate type. If they could work and purchase their furniture all the time and upgrade to whatever her idiot circle of friends are having would be better.

Best Regards

Bro signed off his reply like an email.

Snap out of it brother: this forum is to relaxxx.