Why are Muslim men allowed to marry non-muslims but never vice versa?

[Kane]

@HIBAQ123

If you want an ajinabi man that’s not literal about his deen, that ain’t hard to find.

it just depends on what you will tolerate, and what your boundaries are on vices.

Careful what you wish for, I know plenty of Somali women who found such men but now regret it with children, abusive drug addicts and no way out.

Wish you the best Insha Allah

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That’s entrapment which is illegal in both Islamic and secular law, you act like the sweet girl next door, you’re anything but acuudubillah.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

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That feels a bit exploitative imo

 

[empressjamila]

@HIBAQ123

If you want an ajinabi man that’s not literal about his deen, that ain’t hard to find.

it just depends on what you will tolerate, and what your boundaries are on vices.

Careful what you wish for, I know plenty of Somali women who found such men but now regret it with children, abusive drug addicts and no way out.

Wish you the best Insha Allah



That’s entrapment which is illegal in both Islamic and secular law, you act like the sweet girl next door, you’re anything but acuudubillah.

How is it entrapment? He’s not forced to convert. He’s free to refuse to be Muslim and in that case both people can keep it moving and go their separate ways

Muslim men do it everyday with their gaal girlfriends. Now that I suggest a woman do it, that’s a problem? Lol

 

[empressjamila]

That feels a bit exploitative imo

It’s not exploitative, the guy is free to refuse to convert.

If a non Muslim man is romantically interested in a Muslim women it’s to be expected for him to convert to Islam to marry her. Even non Muslims know that Muslim women can’t marry non Muslim men.

So why entertain a Muslim woman and want something serious with her in the first place if you are not open to conversion?

But if he really is adamant about staying non Muslim then ok, they can both go their separate ways, no harm no foul

 

[hinters]

can the guys on here just f*ck off.

Yeah, atp the best I can hope for would be a really progressive Muslim. I just hate feeling stuck ughh

Islam will never change to fit your arbitrary 21st century standards. If you don't like it then that's too bad.

 

[Gojo Satoru]

It’s not exploitative, the guy is free to refuse to convert.

If a non Muslim man is romantically interested in a Muslim women it’s to be expected for him to convert to Islam to marry her. Even non Muslims know that Muslim women can’t marry non Muslim men.

So why entertain a Muslim woman and want something serious with her in the first place if you are not open to conversion?

But if he really is adamant about staying non Muslim then ok, they can both go their separate ways, no harm no foul

If she was really about her deen then she wouldn't entertain a non muslim man in the first place. Can't have your cake and eat it too

 

[hinters]

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[DojaKhat]

How is it entrapment? He’s not forced to convert. He’s free to refuse to be Muslim and in that case both people can keep it moving and go their separate ways

Muslim men do it everyday with their gaal girlfriends. Now that I suggest a woman do it, that’s a problem? Lol

The reason it's f*cked up is because you would essentially be taking away part of his agency to choose the woman he wants to be with by filling him up with feelings that would sway his decision into the direction you want, against the rational part of his mind.

When you see Muslim men pull that type of toxic sh1t, what you should be aiming for is for them to stop not shrug and say "Well, two can play at the game."

 

[empressjamila]

The reason it's f*cked up is because you would essentially be taking away part of his agency to choose the woman he wants to be with by filling him up with feelings that would sway his decision into the direction you want, against the rational part of his mind.

When you see Muslim men pull that type of toxic sh1t, what you should be aiming for is for them to stop not shrug and say "Well, two can play at the game."

It’s not really coercion though, it’s just letting him know “we cannot be serious and marry unless you convert”. It’s like a dealbreaker of sorts. And people have all kinds of dealbreakers.

If he’s open to learning about Islam and converting great. If he doesn’t want to, then ok no problem y’all can keep it moving.

Im not mad at Muslim men who convert their gaal girlfriends and then make things halal by marrying her. It’s preferable to marrying that woman while she is still non Muslim, or breaking her heart by dumping her for a born Muslim woman of his culture.

As Muslims aren’t we supposed to be bringing others to the deen anyway?

 

[DojaKhat]

It’s not really coercion though, it’s just letting him know “we cannot be serious and marry unless you convert”. It’s like a dealbreaker of sorts. And people have all kinds of dealbreakers.

If he’s open to learning about Islam and converting great. If he doesn’t want to, then ok no problem y’all can keep it moving.

Im not mad at Muslim men who convert their gaal girlfriends and then make things halal by marrying her. It’s preferable to marrying that woman while she is still non Muslim, or breaking her heart by dumping her for a born Muslim woman of his culture.

As Muslims aren’t we supposed to be bringing others to the deen anyway?

So, if I understand you correctly, if you were in OP's position you would lead him on for long enough to catch feelings that would affect his decision-making in a way that he would convert (i.e. less motivated by the realization that Islam is the truth) BUT call it a deal-breaker for him to be in a serious relationship with you by that later point in time?

If it was really a deal-breaker then she never would have ended up in a pre-marital relationship (or prolonged talking stage, I suppose) to begin with.

Not to mention, the logistics of this whole thing doesn't make any sense. How are you gonna get him to be into you over the time period that it takes to develop serious attraction without the topic of religion popping up? I imagine it would be awkward to change the topic or brush it off for some time, until the time is right where you can spring the dealbreaker on him last minute.

 

[DojaKhat]

@empressjamila Yeah, hit me with the passive-aggressive because you know damn well wasting someone's time and playing with their feelings is immoral.

 

[AdoonkaAlle]

How is it entrapment? He’s not forced to convert. He’s free to refuse to be Muslim and in that case both people can keep it moving and go their separate ways

Muslim men do it everyday with their gaal girlfriends. Now that I suggest a woman do it, that’s a problem? Lol

It’s not exploitative, the guy is free to refuse to convert.

If a non Muslim man is romantically interested in a Muslim women it’s to be expected for him to convert to Islam to marry her. Even non Muslims know that Muslim women can’t marry non Muslim men.

So why entertain a Muslim woman and want something serious with her in the first place if you are not open to conversion?

But if he really is adamant about staying non Muslim then ok, they can both go their separate ways, no harm no foul

It’s not really coercion though, it’s just letting him know “we cannot be serious and marry unless you convert”. It’s like a dealbreaker of sorts. And people have all kinds of dealbreakers.

If he’s open to learning about Islam and converting great. If he doesn’t want to, then ok no problem y’all can keep it moving.

Im not mad at Muslim men who convert their gaal girlfriends and then make things halal by marrying her. It’s preferable to marrying that woman while she is still non Muslim, or breaking her heart by dumping her for a born Muslim woman of his culture.

As Muslims aren’t we supposed to be bringing others to the deen anyway?

It's very problematic to justify your actions based on what others do, rarely does it ever end well. Yes diinta allows men to marry non-muslims but this is subject to limitations and obligations. Furthermore this permissibility can't be used to justify haram actions, diinta doesn't say to date gaalo women, fornicate with them & any other form of saqajaan actions that muslim men engage in with these women. So using such men as an excuse to do the same is just nonsensical

In reality diinta iyo dacwada is just an after thought for majority of such men given that most don't marry them just use them to satisfy their needs bis. Now the question is why would a muslim woman who is devoted to her religion use them as a justification knowing fully well that diinta doesn't allow marriage or any sort of relationship between her iyo nin gaal ?

Giving dawah isn't an excuse to engage in haram relationships soo beenta aan iska joojino. This dawah ku meel gaarka ah is only going to create more problems down the line be smart about it gabadho waa hada taalo wanaagsan rabtiin.

My mom is friends with a Somali woman who married a Christian man and still with him today and she's a practising Muslim, all her kids are practising Muslims too and her daughters wear the hijab aswell and their dad don't have a problem with it. Whilst I know many Muslim men that are married to non Muslims and most of the kids are not Muslims or not practising, those men have not commited any sins but the Somali woman has even though her kids are Muslims. But all in all I don't know why it's allowed for Muslim men but not Muslim women, no one can ever explain it properly.

Bal aan ku weydiye what's the benefit of engaging in fornication and resulting in your kids being illegitimate in the eyes of the deen ? how would you react ? what sort of example is that hooyo setting here ? that her daughters can wear hijab practise some parts of the diinta & leave of other parts like the one where it stipulates that a muslim woman can't get married to nin gaal ? Even worse is if she considers what she did as halal then this is an action of kufr that can remove her from diinta.

Those men are indeed committing a huge sin as well since their kids aren't muslims & will be held accountable for them come judgement day. How do you quantify which is worse living in a household where your every interaction with your partner is haram or one where all your children aren't muslims ?

May Allah SWT forgive us for our sins

Ameen thumma Ameen