Which of the following attributes in a woman do you rate the highest.

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

Yes wifey material. I would say self image, attitude, habits and beliefs but it’s all the same from a Muslim point of view.

In which case, her intellect and character, for beauty fades away, for after all, as the Old Bard opined: 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.

And with that, I am being reminded of Keenadiid's famous poem 'Jaadad dumareed':

Jaadadkoodu waa badan yihiin jamaca naagoode
Raggu johoradduu yahay middii jaahilaan garane
Jidkaan sheegayaa laga gartaa tii inoo jabane

Waa inay jacayl iyo kalgacal kugula joogtaaye
Waa inuu jiraayoo qalbiga jeelku ka hayaaye
Waa inay jaguug lama rabee jilicsanaataaye

Waa inay jiriibbamidda iyo jaaxid ka hartaaye
Waa inayan sina kuu jactadin kuna jurxaynayne
Waa inay jawaabkay tiraa jimic u yeeshaaye

Waa inay la soo jeensataa jaahsan iyo laabe
Waa inuu isjeeqaaqayaa jiirka kiin ahiye
Waa inay jinaadkaa tihiyo jeex naftaada ahe

Waa inaan jinnigu duufsan iyo hadalka jaajuuse
Waa inayan jaanteeda geyn jago aan fiicnayne
Waa inay ka jigataa waqeed jidadka ceebeede

Waa inay jarreerada la tari jeerba gocotaaye
Waa inay ku jeeddaa xilkiyo jahada maamuuse
Waa inayan jaaseysaneyn jeedal iyo laane

Waa inayan joogaha axdiga jebin abiidkeede
Waa inayan soo jiidaneyn jaa’ifiyo hawle
Waa inayan jaaraanka iyo jees wax buu dhimine

Waa inay dad jamaciis ka tahay jaalle kaa xiga e
Waa inay jiilkii daacadnimo kugu jalleecdaaye
Waa inay jirkaagiyo wixii jira malaysaaye

Waa inayan kaa jiijanayn kulana jiiftaaye
Waa inay jamaad iyo xubbi iyo jamasho haysaaye
Waa inay janaan suu ku dhacay kugu jidbootaaye

Waa inay isaga jaadan tahay saad jeclaataba e
Waa inayan juuq oran kolkaad ereyo jeexsiine
Waa inay suldaan jaa’iriyo janan ku mooddaaye.

-----------------
Let us hope @backgroundISneeded is in a jolly good mood to translate it for the masses.

 

[Angelina]

I think you miss understand my stance on all of this I just prefer a house wife to a career woman. never said she has to be a housewife and preferably I would like her to work for me/with me or for herself otherwise she can be a housewife but even then I would like to include her in some sort of way so she has something to do and gain and I have someone who I can trust to handle stuff on my behalf. A second opinion and another source of ideas another set of eyes for the vision.

No, I’ve not misunderstood you. It’s more a late night musing and just thinking about where the Muslim community at large is going wrong with the whole issue of housewives vs working women. As of late a lot of Muslim men who are conservative or even Islamic preachers have been demonizing Muslim women who work and have been going on about how it’s influenced by feminism. They’re doing themselves a disservice as they fail to understand the points that are very obvious and are much bigger than women being ‘boss babes’.

I think being a housewife is beautiful and I don’t think there is anything wrong with a man preferring that. But the Muslim community needs to think of ways of protecting women financially and maybe then you’d see many women going down that route. I think you’d find that a lot of us women would happily give up our jobs if we knew our partners could deposit a $% in our accounts for future use and ability to buy assets in case for the future.

As for you, I’ve always seen you as a fair man and your answer illustrates that. I wish you well and hope you achieve your goal.

 

[GoldmanSachs]

Lol. This is how you know this forum is filled with kids.

The importance of lineage and coming from a powerful family cannot be overstated. Your wife’s face will eventually wrinkle, the power of her father and the pull of the family will not.

 

[Odious Delirium]

No, I’ve not misunderstood you. It’s more a late night musing and just thinking about where the Muslim community at large is going wrong with the whole issue of housewives vs working women. As of late a lot of Muslim men who are conservative or even Islamic preachers have been demonizing Muslim women who work and have been going on about how it’s influenced by feminism. They’re doing themselves a disservice as they fail to understand the points that are very obvious and are much bigger than women being ‘boss babes’.

I think being a housewife is beautiful and I don’t think there is anything wrong with a man preferring that. But the Muslim community needs to think of ways of protecting women financially and maybe then you’d see many women going down that route. I think you’d find that a lot of us women would happily give up our jobs if we knew our partners could deposit a couple of hundreds/ grands in our accounts for future use and ability to buy assets in case for the future.

As for you, I’ve always seen you as a fair man and your answer illustrates that. I wish you well and hope you achieve your goal.

Most housewives in the wealthier arab countries have small businesses that there husbands and family members have invested in. Most house wives aren't just housewives. They tend to have something going on. Most scholars are against women working in mixed/non islamic environments.

Most Muslims in the west are working class. This is a working class issue but even then she can still do a side hustle and it could turn into something big. The issue is that most women just copy and paste the same ideas and aren't that innovative on there own in general when it comes to making generational wealth via there own business and its always something beauty related which is overly satuarated. They should branch out and try different things to succeed. Something that concerns the degree they spend all that time working on.

 

[Odious Delirium]

Lol. This is how you know this forum is filled with kids.

The importance of lineage and coming from a powerful family cannot be overstated. Your wife’s face will eventually wrinkle, the power of her father and the pull of the family will not.

That's not an option that is listed tho

 

[Hodan from HR]

Lol. This is how you know this forum is filled with kids.

The importance of lineage and coming from a powerful family cannot be overstated. Your wife’s face will eventually wrinkle, the power of her father and the pull of the family will not.

 

[Angelina]

Most housewives in the arab world have small businesses that there husbands and family members have invested in. Most house wives aren't just housewives. They tend to have something going on. Most scholars are against women working in mixed/non islamic environments.

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Those women have a lot more free time and aren’t as tied down to traditional housework expected of housewives. Western Muslim women have to do everything themselves and hope their husbands are open minded enough to share with the household duties. It really isn’t the same.

Most Muslims in the west are working class. This is a working class issue but even then she can still do a side hustle and it could turn into something big. The issue is that most women just copy and paste the same ideas and aren't that innovative on there own

Side hustles aren’t that easy nor do they pay bills unless you’re willing to invest in a lot of time and effort. Education and the Uni career route is in fact a surer way of leaving the slums. Let’s be honest with ourselves.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

I think you’d find that a lot of us women would happily give up our jobs if we knew our partners could deposit a $% in our accounts for future use and ability to buy assets in case for the future.

So, [this] outweighs all the virtues and gains of a lady staying at home instead of working?

 

[Angelina]

So, [this] outweighs all the virtues and gains of a lady staying at home instead of working?

What do you mean by that exactly?

Also, why did you choose that sentence only instead of also engaging with my reasoning for that?

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

What do you mean by that exactly?

In a nutshell, financial security vs virtues derived from a mother / wife raising her family; does that help?

 

[GoldmanSachs]

That's not an option that is listed tho

Reread my post. It should be an option.

 

[Odious Delirium]

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Those women have a lot more free time and aren’t as tied down to traditional housework expected of housewives. Western Muslim women have to do everything themselves and hope their husbands are open minded enough to share with the household duties. It really isn’t the same.


Side hustles aren’t that easy nor do they pay bills unless you’re willing to invest in a lot of time and effort. Education and the Uni career route is in fact a surer way of leaving the slums. Let’s be honest with ourselves.

I know which is why I said it was a working class issue in the west and so is worrying about weather you can start a side hustle or not because you need to pay bills on time.

A uni career is most definitely easier because it's all set out for you and if you don't have a vision and neither want to take risk because you can't afford to then obviously the career via uni is your best bet. You can still transition tho

 

[Odious Delirium]

Reread my post. It should be an option.

I reread it you didn't change anything

anyways its not about if it should be its that it wasn't so no one is going to take that into consideration here because it wasn't stated as an option

 

[GoldmanSachs]

I reread it you didn't change anything

anyways its not about if it should be its that it wasn't so no one is going to take that into consideration here because it wasn't stated as an option

Which is what my point is all about. This forum is filled with kids. I am not downplaying looks, all I am saying is there is diminished returns from average looking xalimo to dimed out xalimo when other factors are not taken into account.

 

[Angelina]

I know which is why I said it was a working class issue in the west and so is worrying about weather you can start a side hustle or not because you need to pay bills on time.

Exactly. Even starting a side hustle can be a bit of a privilege as some people live check to check. What do you choose? Buying new clothes for the kids that month despite their clothes not being able to fit as much anymore or invest 200 for a new idea that could fail? It’s a no brainer as to why side hustles aren’t as common.

A uni career is most definitely easier because it's all set out for you and if you don't have a vision and neither want to take risk because you can't afford to then obviously the career via uni is your best bet. You can still transition tho

Yes you could. But despite what wannabe Jeff Bezoz finance tiktok bros tell you university education is still the number one way of people bettering themselves. Especially if you’re smart enough to go to
Top schools. Even women who want to be housewives but want a well to do man should aim to go to a russel group/ivy league universities as it will open doors to sets of people you would never meet usually.

 

[Angelina]

In a nutshell, financial security vs virtues derived from a mother / wife raising her family; does that help?

I don’t see why it should be one or the other? Many of us have been raised by working women who’ve always put us first. But wouldn’t it be better if those women were able to fully focus on their households whilst having the peace of mind of having protection in case anything happens to their partner? Also, good mothering is also making sure that your kids get a good future as well.

Also, looking at it from one or the other standpoint illustrates your privilege since as a man your parenting isn’t tied to giving up protection and possibly being penniless upon the death of a spouse or divorce or partner being ill. We’re already from a community in which as of now it’s very common for middle aged burned out Somali mothers working in care for long hours washing the backside of gaal pensioners to make ends meet. Hence, I detest your question about if financial security is more important that the virtuous of motherhood.

If motherhood is so sacred and beautiful, why is it an issue for mothers to be looked after?

 

[Angelina]

So, [this] outweighs all the virtues and gains of a lady staying at home instead of working?

Funny isn’t it, for all your comments about the virtues of motherhood, you have issues with mothers being protected and being able to focus on their kids with peace knowing that their is some sort of financial protection for their kids and them.

Hence, it’s obvious many people don’t value mothers unless it’s time to argue that they shouldn’t be getting xyz.

 

[𐒋𐒖𐒆𐒔𐒖𐒕𐒈]

@Angelina
You might have got the wrong end of the stick. Think about the principle in question, which is for the protection of the mother/ wife, and family.

Postscript:
By the way, confirm, and ask me, whether I am for, or against something, before accusing me of it. It is healthier that way.

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina
You might have got the wrong end of the stick. Think about the principle in question.

No, I got it. It’s that very principle of yours you’re trying to peddle i detest in which you’re tying to frame it as one or the other.

Like what is the principal behind it, let’s be honest here. It’s the idea that a woman who wants financial security is throwing away the virtues of motherhood, when in fact you should be protecting the virtues of motherhood as a community by not forcing women to make those hard choices.

When those ‘mothers’ have to work dead end jobs as 50-60 yr olds when they should be resting after a life of being housewives, then where is our appreciation for their virtues?

My point is, it shouldn’t be one or the other. Women should make sure they have some sort of protection as when shit hits the fan, the very people that are talking about how motherhood and being a housewife is superior will not help you to feed yourself and your children. Society is no longer tribal or community based. It’s individualistic.

Sorry to be harsh. It’s the way the question was framed that rubbed me up the wrong way. Your intentions could be completely innocent.

 

[Hodan from HR]

Most housewives in the wealthier arab countries have small businesses that there husbands and family members have invested in. Most house wives aren't just housewives. They tend to have something going on. Most scholars are against women working in mixed/non islamic environments.

Most Muslims in the west are working class. This is a working class issue but even then she can still do a side hustle and it could turn into something big. The issue is that most women just copy and paste the same ideas and aren't that innovative on there own

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