Where are Somalis finding their spouse

[Enter]

It’s literally happening. I was on muzz and the amount of people over 30 and single is bigger than we are saying. The habos need to be on their rishta aunties and start a matchmaking network.

Also i read something somewhere and it was like 1 in 3 married couples are now meeting via social media. Which is WILD but also very fascinating to me. I think the days of meeting someone in a coffee shop or bookstore are behind us sadly.

This post gave me a midlife crisis

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina you do agree that finding a spouse naturally is better than muzmatch?

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[Goodbye ✌]

This post gave me a midlife crisis

It’s okay walal your time will come inshallah. My fave uncle got married in his mid 30s so don’t feel stressed. May Allah grant you a pious wife and bless you with righteous children.

 

[Indeed]

This post gave me a midlife crisis

She’s wrong about the days of meeting in coffee shops etc to find a spouse no longer happening.

It’s still alive and well, get out of your comfort zone.

muzzmatch and other online apps, are a waste of time, ladies in those apps set huge unnecessary expectations, they will swipe down everytime, online expectations through this fake technological lenses, creates highly unrealistic expectations and demands.

On the other hand, men in those apps, gets depressed etc as they question their life, whether or not they’re capable of getting married even though they’re on the Deen, and have a job that can provide for the family. Plus men in their apps will constantly see peng looking ladies, so their expectation on looks for a lady will sky high, men will want a Kim Kardashian look lady.

Both apps are bad for both genders, those in the minority such as the marvellous lady of @Angelina had found her husband in Muzzmatch, and successfully got married Alhamdullah. But in majority of cases those online apps are a waste of time. It’s best to do it in a traditional way to find a spouse in IRL.

 

[Taij4an]

She’s wrong about the days of meeting in coffee shops etc to find a spouse no longer happening.

It’s still alive and well, get out of your comfort zone.

muzzmatch and other online apps, are a waste of time, ladies in those apps set huge unnecessary expectations, they will swipe down everytime, online expectations through this fake technological lenses, creates highly unrealistic expectations and demands.

On the other hand, men in those apps, gets depressed etc as they question their life, whether or not they’re capable of getting married even though they’re on the Deen, and have a job that can provide for the family. Plus men in their apps will constantly see peng looking ladies, so their expectation on looks for a lady will sky high, men will want a Kim Kardashian look lady.

Both apps are bad for both genders, those in the minority such as the marvellous lady of @Angelina had found her husband in Muzzmatch, and successfully got married Alhamdullah. But in majority of cases those online apps are a waste of time. It’s best to do it in a traditional way to find a spouse in IRL.

how do u find a women outside without freemixing?

 

[Indeed]

how do u find a women outside without freemixing?

Anywhere in public innit, with a brother or the father supervising

 

[Taij4an]

Anywhere in public innit, with a brother or the father supervising

so ur going to walk around with a brother chatting up random xijabies on the street looking for a spouse?
Seems no different to chatting up a girl culture which non-Muslims have

 

[Indeed]

so ur going to walk around with a brother chatting up random xijabies on the street looking for a spouse?
Seems no different to chatting up a girl culture which non-Muslims have

That’s what they do back home, you have to interact in a halal way of course. That’s what’s lacking in this new generation, this generation will need to get out of the comfort zone.

 

[Taij4an]

That’s what they do back home, you have to interact in a halal way of course. That’s what’s lacking in this new generation, this generation will need to get out of the comfort zone.

seriously it just seems abit weird to me I can't imagine brothers just going up to random hijabis and chatting them up, if we normalise the culture it will just mean ppl will start freemixing again

 

[Angelina]

She’s wrong about the days of meeting in coffee shops etc to find a spouse no longer happening.

It’s still alive and well, get out of your comfort zone.

muzzmatch and other online apps, are a waste of time, ladies in those apps set huge unnecessary expectations, they will swipe down everytime, online expectations through this fake technological lenses, creates highly unrealistic expectations and demands.

On the other hand, men in those apps, gets depressed etc as they question their life, whether or not they’re capable of getting married even though they’re on the Deen, and have a job that can provide for the family. Plus men in their apps will constantly see peng looking ladies, so their expectation on looks for a lady will sky high, men will want a Kim Kardashian look lady.

Both apps are bad for both genders, those in the minority such as the marvellous lady of @Angelina had found her husband in Muzzmatch, and successfully got married Alhamdullah. But in majority of cases those online apps are a waste of time. It’s best to do it in a traditional way to find a spouse in IRL.

Didn't you say you hardly see Somali girls when you're out and about?

Also, most Somali guys don't have the confidence to approach girls unless they're at a wedding or a Somali event. And to be honest, randomly going up to a girl on the streets is not a good idea. Many will think you're a creep and will ignore you.

 

[Indeed]

Didn't you say you hardly see Somali girls when you're out and about?

Also, most Somali guys don't have the confidence to approach girls unless they're at a wedding or a Somali event. And to be honest, randomly going up to a girl on the streets is not a good idea. Many will think you're a creep and will ignore you.

Like I said, this generation is too used to the comfort zone, need to get out of the comfort zone like what the old generation did.

Maybe in London it’s strange to talk to strangers, but up north, it’s normal to speak to strangers, and talking to a lady (halal way) is normal outside of London on the streets.

 

[Enter]

It’s okay walal your time will come inshallah. My fave uncle got married in his mid 30s so don’t feel stressed. May Allah grant you a pious wife and bless you with righteous children.

I'm semi-joking, but you're too nice. If anything, it's my lack of stress or urgency that sometimes stresses me out. I'm too comfortable. I'm not 30, but my dad had a 2 year old at my age and that trips me out. Meanwhile I'm wasting my time on the wrong demographic.

She’s wrong about the days of meeting in coffee shops etc to find a spouse no longer happening.

It’s still alive and well, get out of your comfort zone.

muzzmatch and other online apps, are a waste of time, ladies in those apps set huge unnecessary expectations, they will swipe down everytime, online expectations through this fake technological lenses, creates highly unrealistic expectations and demands.

On the other hand, men in those apps, gets depressed etc as they question their life, whether or not they’re capable of getting married even though they’re on the Deen, and have a job that can provide for the family. Plus men in their apps will constantly see peng looking ladies, so their expectation on looks for a lady will sky high, men will want a Kim Kardashian look lady.

Both apps are bad for both genders, those in the minority such as the marvellous lady of @Angelina had found her husband in Muzzmatch, and successfully got married Alhamdullah. But in majority of cases those online apps are a waste of time. It’s best to do it in a traditional way to find a spouse in IRL.

I don't really care about finding someone in a coffee shop. My biggest concern is people becoming more jaded and losing innocence. I don't mean that in a virtuous sense either. People are getting bit too sombre and serious.

I'm not saying they should act 16, but shit, a touch of hopeless romanticism ain't bad. Can't both be cold and sober. I'm looking around and things feel an actual job interview for a job I'm not even sure I want.

 

[RICH]

Huuno ma hurdo aya kasoo toostay? I haven't seen you post for a while.

I knoooow walaal. I’ve been neglecting sspot for too long

I’m all caught up in my new family life alxamdulilaah.

 

[RICH]

Not all people want it tho. It happened to me against my wishes and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Not all of the them are forced though, I want to point out.

And your point about the background check being done and known?
They actually said that to me.. about how he’s a good guy and comes from a good and respected well known family … only for it to be the opposite…

It doesn’t happen like that to everyone and I acknowledge it can work out wonderful for others.

True. I see where you’re coming from.

 

[RICH]

yes, you are right, but still love marriages are nicer (this is my personal opinion).

I see what you mean, but it’s something from the West too think that love marriages are better than arranged marriages. Too much Disney/Hollywood.

 

[RICH]

The problem with somali arranged marriages is that they do it based on the families only:/ They don't worry about if the arranged parties will actually match up.

Sometimes they do, that’s why you have to play it smart.

 

[Lostbox]

For those who are 20+ or 30+ and single, where did they meet their spouse? Just a bit curious as our community doesn’t always share the details of their dating lives! Thanks.

My friends give number to women who've asked about me and I do the same from them. After you've given them there numbers. It up to them to set each other up

Why don't you just ask around?

 

[Insurance]

Is this something you want to be true or? I've seen one your first threads.

I'm in my late 20s, got married late myself and have a friends who are in their late 20s and early 30s who've recently married or are getting to know/engaged, wallahi when I tell you they're all recently married/getting married to guys their own ages or 1/2 yrs younger.

I have a realistic insight as i'm a woman nearly of that age group with actual friends in that situation. You basically said you hardly see any Somali girls and from your comments I can tell you're young. Also, you'd be suprised with the amount of Somali guys willing to marry a girl who is like a yr older.

There are a lot of Somali guys who have never married in their 30s and they have no issues of marrying a girl their own ages. A family member literally married a doctor despite being 30 and so is he.

Someone should make a thread about this. The whole above 25 or 30 years old comments are nonsense. The vast majority of Somalis I know got married in their late 20s and earlier 30s. It's not even uncommon to see single men marry widows or divorcee in our community.

 

[Hair Guru]

My friends give number to women who've asked about me and I do the same from them. After you've given them there numbers. It up to them to set each other up

Why don't you just ask around?

Not for me, just wanted to know how ppl are doing things nowadays

 

[Awad]

Hi, there's no such thing as typing or speaking like a woman. This comment is very toxic and misogynistic as hell.

Get off Twitter feminine ass boy