Where are Somalis finding their spouse

I

Indeed

Hussein0982 said:
I'm just giving some moral support to my sister Zamzam nothing more sxb. Do you suddenly speak like a woman if you give some words of encouragement to a girl 🤨
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Instead of speaking like Kim Kardashian to her, why don’t YOU go and propose to your potential lady ZamZam, don’t be a fuley mate, go dm her innit, I will book a honeymoon vacation in Abu Dhabi just for you two.
 
N

NinWero

It's not easy to find a spouse these days. Nevertheless, the best way to go about it is through your family and friends, most Somalis I know do that, these apps like Muzmatch are a waste of time and full of weirdos.

There is a problem with Somalis in the west getting married definitely, especially in meeting eachother. Somali girls where though stay away from guys, now they are told go get your self a spouse, which is unrealistic.

Lastly, this goes for the girls, if a good Somali guy approaches you for marriage, don't reject them for superficial things like hes is not 6'5 or won't give you 30k meher.
 
J

Journey.

Idk how common arranged marriages are in our community but the downside to this is as a woman if you reject a few proposals you get labelled as a "nin diid". People then avoid you because they see you as someone not seriously looking to get married. Worse still is your parents pressuring you to marry and not reject suitors so as to avoid you acquiring that label!
 
P

Peache

RICH said:
What is wrong with arranged marriages? As long as you’re being included and asked if ur interested, there is nothing wrong with it. It’s actually even better because the background check is already done by then :browtf:
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Not all people want it tho. It happened to me against my wishes and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Not all of the them are forced though, I want to point out.

And your point about the background check being done and known?
They actually said that to me.. about how he’s a good guy and comes from a good and respected well known family … only for it to be the opposite…

It doesn’t happen like that to everyone and I acknowledge it can work out wonderful for others.
 
W

Waa-Aniga

NinWero said:
It's not easy to find a spouse these days. Nevertheless, the best way to go about it is through your family and friends, most Somalis I know do that, these apps like Muzmatch are a waste of time and full of weirdos.

There is a problem with Somalis in the west getting married definitely, especially in meeting eachother. Somali girls where though stay away from guys, now they are told go get your self a spouse, which is unrealistic.

Lastly, this goes for the girls, if a good Somali guy approaches you for marriage, don't reject them for superficial things like hes is not 6'5 or won't give you 30k meher.
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I was rejected then pass forward 6 years came back to establish connection but I turned her down...Am not fucking mug plan b when plan a fails I would rather die single than give an idiot second chance. So ladies take this as advice if you ended a connection and you end up changing your mind down the track don't do it because most faraxs won't take you back this not a love island mugshow
 
N

NinWero

Waa-Aniga said:
I was rejected then pass forward 6 years came back to establish connection but I turned her down...Am not fucking mug plan b when plan a fails I would rather die single than give an idiot second chance. So ladies take this as advice if you ended a connection and you end up changing your mind down the track don't do it because most faraxs won't take you back this not a love island mugshow
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That's what I am talking about, one of my best friends was rejected because the girl thought he was a FOB, he came from Africa and was educated in Egypt. Anyways he met another girl and got married, got a job as a job in Qatar, and has 3 kids. The girl that rejected him is in her 30s and not married yet.

If you a girl and a good brother come alone don't reject.
 
A

Angelina

VIP
Amina99 said:
Not all people want it tho. It happened to me against my wishes and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Not all of the them are forced though, I want to point out.

And your point about the background check being done and known?
They actually said that to me.. about how he’s a good guy and comes from a good and respected well known family … only for it to be the opposite…

It doesn’t happen like that to everyone and I acknowledge it can work out wonderful for others.
Click to expand...
Problem with Somalis is that their version of background checks is looking at the qabil, family status and general rep of his parents with no real idea of how the actual groom is really like. Yes, looking at family is important. I mean no one wants to marry a man whose parents are known to be xyz, but the issue is that a man can be from the right family, prominent qabil ect but a complete trash bag. Very rare to see a Somali father actually looking deeply into his actual character and doing proper background research on the actual husband to be. His father being this or that isn't that important, the actual man who is going to be responsible for your daughters future should be the topic of your real research.

I do know of this one dad though who went out of his way to go to the masjid his future son-in-law said he goes to check his claims. Spoke to the imam and managment of the masjid as the future son-in-law claimed he went Islamic classes there. Actually asked the men there to tell him what they thought of his character and to be honest as Islamically you have to be honest about someone when it comes marriage and it is not seen as back biting ect. He even actually dug up info on his work to confirm his employment ect. Now that is what I call a father on a mission. Wish the majority had that mindset.
 
P

Peache

Angelina said:
Problem with Somalis is that their version of background checks is looking at the qabil, family status and general rep of his parents with no real idea of how the actual groom is really like. Yes, looking at family is important. I mean no one wants to marry a man whose parents are known to be xyz, but the issue is that a man can be from the right family, prominent qabil ect but a complete trash bag. Very rare to see a Somali father actually looking deeply into his actual character and doing proper background research on the actual husband to be. His father being this or that isn't that important, the actual man who is going to be responsible for your daughters future should be the topic of your real research.

I do know of this one dad though who went out of his way to go to the masjid his future son-in-law said he goes to check his claims. Spoke to the imam and managment of the masjid as the future son-in-law claimed he went Islamic classes there. Actually asked the men there to tell him what they thought of his character and to be honest as Islamically you have to be honest about someone when it comes marriage and it is not seen as back biting ect. He even actually dug up info on his work to confirm his employment ect. Now that is what I call a father on a mission. Wish the majority had that mindset.
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Sis. you pretty much explained my whole situation and my life. They kept focusing on the fact that his mother was a good person and what an amazing man his grandfather was. I don’t recall them talking about my exs qualities and what hes like smh lol.

More abos need to investigate, especially the boys and men who get deported back to Africa and wanna marry some Miskeen innocent girl who don’t know why he got deported.
 
A

Angelina

VIP
NinWero said:
That's what I am talking about, one of my best friends was rejected because the girl thought he was a FOB, he came from Africa and was educated in Egypt. Anyways he met another girl and got married, got a job as a job in Qatar, and has 3 kids. The girl that rejected him is in her 30s and not married yet.

If you a girl and a good brother come alone don't reject.
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B

bluebird

VIP
Amina99 said:
Sis. you pretty much explained my whole situation and my life. They kept focusing on the fact that his mother was a good person and what an amazing man his grandfather was. I don’t recall them talking about my exs qualities and what hes like smh lol.

More abos need to investigate, especially the boys and men who get deported back to Africa and wanna marry some Miskeen innocent girl who don’t know why he got deported.
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P

Peache

bluebird said:
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They said he was a good guy, and marriage will make him an even better man and how since they family is known and respected … there’s accountability there.
They also said there’s no need for love or to get to know him better as that’s a gaalo white western mindset, and that you’ll get to know him better through marriage.
 
N

NinWero

bluebird said:
you should start a club for safe wives/husbands of somalispot :ftw9nwa: whoever is still single in 10 years will get matched up with their somalispot designated partner
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I don't know why Somalispot girls and guys are weird, when I was really young, I use to go on this Somali website called Somalilife.com and many girls and guys got married from there. Too much shukansi was going on in their lol
 
B

Badkarma

Angelina said:
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Interesting, men from back home are extremely dumb witted I doubt they have the ability to use a woman lol it is always the other way around. Why would a woman care about a guy back home when she has plenty of options here she is 🤔? I just always thought that women were the users in relationships 😕
 
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