What is your ideal somali man spouse.what traits do you look for in a potential husband. Discussion

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Dino

Dino

Cukaash said:
Waryaa i dont understand this height issue with guys. Height doesnt determine a person's character or anything, its just Anatomy.

If youre 6'5 but a useless person. It doesnt change shit. A female might like you or marry you because of you physical appearance but when you dont measure up you guys will end up hating each other.

Same thing goes for women. If you have a beautiful face but useless asf, its just a turn off. If youre beautiful but got your priorities fucked up, its also a turn off.

Its all about sharing same values, religious views, future goals. If i dont share the same values with a woman. I BOUNCE.

Be smart faraxs and xalimos.
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Someone listen to this man. It will save you alot of tears and pain
 
Aurora

Aurora

Degan said:
Tell us about it
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Apart from the obvious stuff like intelligent, kind, caring, hardworking etc I also dream of the perfect combi of a super religious guy while NOT traditional or the slightest bit old fashioned. Unfortunately these two kind of seem to go hand in hand. It's a prejudice yes, I know.

And equally as important: he has to get me. Meaning that he should not be put off by a little bit of a weirdo wife with a contradictive personality who doesn't even understand herself sometimes and can be kind of..difficult?
People are always suprised when they get to know me better and find out I'm not as quiet and shy and whatever the hell they thought I was.

I think they (very religious guys) would like a submissive wife with whom they share their life by caring for each other, practicing the deen together and being affectionate. I'm not submissive or meek at all. Problem is I'm afraid I do give that vibe off. And I don't know how I'm going to show who I really am if I want to get married the halal way and you only get a few conversations.I know I'd have to open up but I never really have.

I don't want to marry a person just for the sake of comfort or because "it's what you're supposed to do" I want a deep, real connection.

In general I have crazy high standards for other people and myself and relationships with others wich is just not really a good thing. There are many things I won't compromise on or would be a turn off. But I have to constantly remind myself that people aren't perfect.


People tell me: You'll never find someone who understands you on EVERY single thing AND is a super pious muslim AND is a great person. That is not possible. You're not going to find everything in 1 person.


And I know. But the thing is I have zero experience with guys. I actually don't know anything, so I have this ideal image in my head that most likely doesn't exist but nontheless I keep holding onto it stubbornly because.. in denial or something like that. Deep down I know though. Just haven't accepted it yet.


But oh well at least he doesn't have to be 6ft!

No such thing on my 3 page long mental " future husband demands" list lol
 
Dino

Dino

Aurora said:
Apart from the obvious stuff like intelligent, kind, caring, hardworking etc I also dream of the perfect combi of a super religious guy while NOT traditional or the slightest bit old fashioned. Unfortunately these two kind of seem to go hand in hand. It's a prejudice yes, I know.

And equally as important: he has to get me. Meaning that he should not be put off by a little bit of a weirdo wife with a contradictive personality who doesn't even understand herself sometimes and can be kind of..difficult?
People are always suprised when they get to know me better and find out I'm not as quiet and shy and whatever the hell they thought I was.

I think they (very religious guys) would like a submissive wife with whom they share their life by caring for each other, practicing the deen together and being affectionate. I'm not submissive or meek at all. Problem is I'm afraid I do give that vibe off. And I don't know how I'm going to show who I really am if I want to get married the halal way and you only get a few conversations.I know I'd have to open up but I never really have.

I don't want to marry a person just for the sake of comfort or because "it's what you're supposed to do" I want a deep, real connection.

In general I have crazy high standards for other people and myself and relationships with others wich is just not really a good thing. There are many things I won't compromise on or would be a turn off. But I have to constantly remind myself that people aren't perfect.


People tell me: You'll never find someone who understands you on EVERY single thing AND is a super pious muslim AND is a great person. That is not possible. You're not going to find everything in 1 person.


And I know. But the thing is I have zero experience with guys. I actually don't know anything, so I have this ideal image in my head that most likely doesn't exist but nontheless I keep holding onto it stubbornly because.. in denial or something like that. Deep down I know though. Just haven't accepted it yet.


But oh well at least he doesn't have to be 6ft!

No such thing on my 3 page long mental " future husband demands" list lol
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lool you sound just like my fiancee. And here i thought she was unique
 
Foreman

Foreman

sahersi said:
lets see...
  • tall (I'm too fussed about being under 6' but he has to be taller than me. i'm 5'6 so few inches taller would be fine)
  • does not look like a typical Farah :mugshotman:
  • feminist ( he has to be aware of all the shit that women go through in our culture and must not contribute to it)
  • good job/educated
  • good grasp of Somali
  • cook and clean (he must be able to take care of himself. this one is a definite dealbreaker. he cannot expect me to take his mothers place and baby him:farole:)
  • he must be willing to plan our family and not expect me to pop out a child every year.
  • he must be very involved in our potential kids lives (i do not want anyone who spends more time in makhayads than in their kids lives)
the most important thing of all: must not marry another woman while we are together. I will accept divorce (or his death:birdman:) before i accept another woman.

I understand that is a list 99.9% of Somali men can't fulfil so i'm keeping my options open.:francis:
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6/8

:mjswag:
 
Foreman

Foreman

sahersi said:
there are two deal breakers in that list though so you need to specify which two you don't meet.:ufdup:
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I am conservative so no for feminazi BS at least in its current corrupt definition/concept.

More than a wife I would say, but if your game is good I won't consider it.


Coming to London on July wanna meet up?
 
A

arawelo 2.0

VIP
Coulombs law said:
I think you are right 99.9 % of Somali men for sure can't fulfill that list :mjkkk:

You are even restrictive with the children part :ohlord:
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I don't want to pop out 10 kids then turn into a balloon before I'm 40.

besides, I don't really like kids that much anyways. so unless my maternal powers kick in after having a kid, i won't just keep having kids for the sake of it.

as someone from a very large family, I think it's very selfish to have so many kids when you could've provided such a great life for a few.
 
C

Coulombs law

sahersi said:
I don't want to pop out 10 kids then turn into a balloon before I'm 40.

besides, I don't really like kids that much anyways. so unless my maternal powers kick in after having a kid, i won't just keep having kids for the sake of it.

as someone from a very large family, I think it's very selfish to have so many kids when you could've provided such a great life for a few.
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You won't be saying that after you get your first born rest assured :siilaanyolaugh:

But yeah having 5-6 kids and straining the household is something i think that will be left behind by the second generation folks hopefully..

And I know you can't hold a convo in Somali since you are born in the west, why expect that from your spouse ?
 
A

arawelo 2.0

VIP
Foreman said:
I am conservative so no for feminazi BS at least in its current corrupt definition/concept.

More than a wife I would say, but if your game is good I won't consider it.


Coming to London on July wanna meet up?
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I'm also a conservative so my definition of feminism isn't obviously the same as whatever western women are fighting for these days. however, our culture is very male-centric and mistreatment of Somali women is obviously very common, albeit not as extreme as certain cultures.

what I meant by 'feminist man', is someone who understands this and doesn't just brush it under the rug just because these things are in his favour.
 
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A

arawelo 2.0

VIP
Coulombs law said:
You won't be saying that after you get your first born rest assured :siilaanyolaugh:

But yeah having 5-6 kids and straining the household is something i think that will be left behind by the second generation folks hopefully..

And I know you can't hold a convo in Somali since you are born in the west, why expect that from your spouse ?
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hopefully.. if I do have a kid, I hope I change my mind otherwise that would be pretty messed up.

my Somali is damn near perfect, I'm "dhaqan celis" gang.. well sort off
 
Foreman

Foreman

sahersi said:
I'm also a conservative so my definition of feminism isn't obviously the same as whatever western women are fighting for these days. there is however, our culture is very male-centric and mistreatment of Somali women is obviously very common, albeit not as extreme as certain cultures.

what I meant by 'feminist man', is someone who understands this and doesn't just brush it under the rug just because these things are in his favour.
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Of course have you seen my DP's I love religious shy women. Your DP is for a man mine is for a women we'll get along just fine :lolbron:


Please be dark skinned. :banderas:
 
Foreman

Foreman

sahersi said:
it was nice knowing you:mjcry:
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