What if your daughter got into a relationship before marriage?

Would you accept your daughter having a boyfriend?

  • Yes

  • No


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Lum

رَّبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا
May Allah protect our Children.

I think you have brought up an important discussion. However, the way you worded it makes every man shudder.

As the ProphetS.A.W said

Abd-Allah ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) who reported: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “There are three at whom Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will not look on the Day of Resurrection: the one who is defiant towards his parents, the woman who imitates men, and the dayuuth(cuckold).”

In the times we live in sin has become widespread and the norm. So I believe that the onus on the parent is to raise his child well and teach him islamic values in regards to what is right and wrong.

Teaching him from a young age the sin of Zina by reading to him/her the ayats in the Quran and the health which speak about Zina.

When they get closer to puberty and more mature mentally..you speak to them like an adult and teach them the wisdom of why Allah made Zina haram and the problems it causes in society. Reading to them hadiths such as this(my mum used to always remind me of this hadith when I was 16/17)

Abu Umamah reported: A young man came to the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, give me permission to commit adultery.” The people turned to rebuke him, saying, “Quiet! Quiet!” The Prophet said, “Come here.” The young man came close and he told him to sit down. The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your mother?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their mothers.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your daughter?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their daughters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your sister?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their sisters.” The Prophet said, “Would you like that for your aunts?” The man said, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you. People would not like it for their aunts.” The Prophet placed his hand on him and he said, “O Allah, forgive his sins, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never again turned to anything sinful.

In another narration, the Prophet said to him, “Then hate what Allah has hated, and love for your brother what you love for yourself.”


Your child will inshallah have instilled into him that Zina is a major sin.

When your daughter or son reaches 16+ it is most likely they will start to have relationships. However, you try to advice them on the right path.

For example, your daughter you would tell her that men will approach her but not to trust them. Basically ina u caqli cilisid...tell her no matter how much a man says he loves you that the one who truly respects you and loves you is the one who protects your honour by marrying you in a halal manner.

Finally to encourage them to trust you, and if they want to get married to not be afraid to tell you. That even if they need support that you will help them.

Encouraging your children to get married young is the best way to protect your children from Zina. Since in our times if you're young adult then it's no doubt that you're involved some haraam.

And at the end of the day success comes from Allah so make a lot dua that Allah protects your children and puts blessing in them.

"So here is the issue that needs to be clarified:Many people use the abbreviation “SAW,” “SAWS,” or “PBUH” to fulfill this obligation in their writing. Is this something that fulfills the obligation of sending the salaah and salaam on the Messenger? Let us look now to some of the statements of the scholars regarding this practice. The Permanent Committee of Scholars in Saudi Arabia headed by ‘Abdul-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abdillaah ibn Baaz issued the following verdict when asked about the validity of abbreviating the salaah on the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam): “The Sunnah is to write the entire phrase “sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam,” since it is a kind of supplication, and supplication is worship, (in one’s writing) just as it is in one’s speech. So to abbreviate it using the letter SAAD or the word SAAD-LAAM-‘AYN-MEEM is not a supplication nor is it worship, whether it occurs in speech or writing. For this reason, this abbreviation was not used by the the first three generations, those that the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam) testified to their goodness.” [8] “SAAD” and “SAAD-LAAM-‘AYN-MEEM” are often used in some Arabic books. The English equivalents of these abbreviations would be: SAW, SAWS, SAAWS, PBUH, and the likes. Al-Fayrooz-Abaadee said, “It is not appropriate to use symbols or abbreviations to refer to salaah and salaam, as some of the lazy ones do, as well as some ignorant people and even some students of knowledge – they write ‘SAAD-LAAM-‘AYN-MEEM’ instead of writing ‘sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam.'” [9] Ahmad Shaakir said, “It is the absurd tradition of some of the later generations that they abbreviate the writing of ‘sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam.'” [10] Wasee Allaah ‘Abbaas said, “It is not permissible to abbreviate the salaams in general in one’s writing, just as it is not permissible to abbreviate the salaah and salaam on the Prophet (sallallaahu ‘alayhe wa sallam). It is also not permissible to abbreviate either of these in one’s speech.” [11] And Allaah knows best. May the most perfect and complete salaah and salaam be upon our beloved Messenger, and upon his noble family and companions."

FOOTNOTES

[1] written by Moosaa Richardson
 
Great fanfiction sxb, send me the final copy of that one.:pachah1:

@kickz

Somalia is known to be the worst place a woman could live and most Somali blokes in the slammer in the western diaspora (we are over represented there) are in for sexual crimes such as rape and pedophilia. That’s an urgent case to be addressed and not what a mature Somali girl does in her own bedroom. Don’t turn into chastity belts, change your fellow men not to sexually abuse women.
 

Muji

VIP
Why worry about your future unborn daughter’s future relationships :gucciwhat:

@VixR @Knowles some men on this forum are just creepy af

Sis at least they are outwardly creepy there are some here who publicly condemn them but are far more toxic and sexist behind closed doors. Very abusive indeed.
 
I would warn her of the duplicitous nature of men in lfie and that she should always use protection.

I would warn her that one night stands aren't good for you , but you should try it.

In the end she should experience the dating life while under my care. However there will be guidance around a young age.

Rules:

Noone fucks in my house

Noone brings a poor man to my house

Noone is throwing away their lives for other people.
 
Well, it’s a fact.

I know more than I care to about incels. The OP is one of them. They do talk about “daughters” quite a bit.

Listen, it’s not normal for an unattached 20-something male to be asking questions about unborn daughters on a forum. That is a classic, textbook incel behavior. His cousins are in relationships, and he’s resorted to talking about his unborn daughter’s sexuality.

An actual father-daughter relationship involves advice around boys, and some protective behaviors, but I’ve never felt that my dad is unhealthily concerned with my panties. Incels make up a fake, sexual/perverted dynamic on what being a father to a girl entails.

Many guys on here are absolute weirdos. Who thinks like that?
 

VixR

Veritas
Many guys on here are absolute weirdos. Who thinks like that?
Sis, I don’t know what it is. My immediate guess is their father wasn’t around, so not only did they miss out on aspects of manhood a man could only learn from a male figure, but in turn, they didn’t see the natural father-daughter interaction with their sisters, or they don’t have any, so it’s been co-opted by this perversion of it.

The heightened negative obsession on “daughters” for an unattached male who isn’t even married is unnatural.
 

Sophisticate

~Gallantly Gadabuursi~
Staff Member
Sis, I don’t know what it is. My immediate guess is their father wasn’t around, so not only did they miss out on aspects of manhood a man could only learn from a male figure, but in turn, they didn’t see the natural father-daughter interaction with their sisters, or they don’t have any, so it’s been co-opted by this perversion of it.

The heightened negative obsession on “daughters” for an unattached male who isn’t even married is unnatural.

This farmer wants his maiden cow unprobed by bulls before its time to sell her. Even though he hasn't bought the barn nor has he owned livestock of any kind.
 

Lum

رَّبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا
I would warn her of the duplicitous nature of men in lfie and that she should always use protection.

I would warn her that one night stands aren't good for you , but you should try it.

In the end she should experience the dating life while under my care. However there will be guidance around a young age.

Rules:

Noone fucks in my house

Noone brings a poor man to my house

Noone is throwing away their lives for other people.

Really?
 

VixR

Veritas
This farmer wants his maiden cow unprobed by bulls before its time to sell her. Even though he hasn't bought the barn nor has he owned livestock of any kind.
I must say, Soph, I’m not a fan of this literary device when its still very literal. Somali women are quite literally hollo within the Somali culture :liberaltears:
 
Sis, I don’t know what it is. My immediate guess is their father wasn’t around, so not only did they miss out on aspects of manhood a man could only learn from a male figure, but in turn, they didn’t see the natural father-daughter interaction with their sisters, or they don’t have any, so it’s been co-opted by this perversion of it.

The heightened negative obsession on “daughters” for an unattached male who isn’t even married is unnatural.

I feel bad for saying this and I am generalising. But from my observations on sspot and real life, boys/men raised in single mother homes tend to be a bit more misogynistic than their counterparts raised in traditional nuclear families.

Furthermore, many seem devoid of compassion for women in similar positions as their mother and aunt. Despite being, raised, nurtured and loved by women like that.

It is a strange phenomenon to see. I have no explanation for this.
 

VixR

Veritas
I feel bad for saying this and I am generalising. But from my observations on sspot and real life, boys/men raised in single mother homes tend to be a bit more misogynistic than their counterparts raised in traditional nuclear families.

Furthermore, many seem devoid of compassion for women in similar positions as their mother and aunt. Despite being, raised, nurtured and loved by women like that.

It is a strange phenomenon to see. I have no explanation for this.
That’s interesting. I haven’t seen the same trend in American boys I know who were raised by single mothers.
 

VixR

Veritas
I honestly think it’s the culture. The misogyny isn’t materializing from thin air, its native to Somali culture. It’s similar to how 2nd/3rd gen immigrants become more religiously/culturally involved than their parents were.

They’re living in a country where women are on par with them, and in many cases, performing better than they are, so they resort to misogyny, which they source from religion and culture. Some of our fathers were extreme in reality, but many of ours weren’t falsely “emasculated” so they weren’t as extreme.
 

Calaf

Veni Vidi Vici
2022 CHESS CHAMP
GENERALISSIMO
VIP
What Islamic country
Malaysia is looking like a option

These could be second options:
Turkey
Egypt
Somalia ( If safer)
Ethiopia (Somali Region)
Indonesia
Kenya ( NFD and Areas with high Somali density)
Jordan
Iran ( If worst comes to Worst)
Some Gulf States ( Oman, Qatar, Kuwait)
Yemen ( If safer)
Pakistan
India ( If worst comes to worst)

I will leave as Soon as i get a child
Not a moment more, not less
The Islamic world is your oyster, Make use of it
 
You think Somalia is some sort of utopia? People are dating and doing zina there right now. They've been doing it for centuries!
You just gotta raise them as best as you can and you can and make dua for them. Pray your boys don't get a girl pregnant.
 

Calaf

Veni Vidi Vici
2022 CHESS CHAMP
GENERALISSIMO
VIP
You think Somalia is some sort of utopia? People are dating and doing zina there right now. They've been doing it for centuries!
You just gotta raise them as best as you can and you can and make dua for them. Pray your boys don't get a girl pregnant.
At least it does not happen on the scale that it happens in the Western world
I don't see any Crop top girls in Somalia, with a Skirt as short as a pants.
What people do in bed is not my business, since it has no effect on me
But publicly, Hell no!, since at the end of the day, one bad apple can affect all, with others criticizing us
Also, if the culture doesn't work for you, Go home!, Don't complain about Western Ideal and how kids are having bad influence, when your ideal place is some place 8 hours away. Save up some Money, or get a Hagbad /Ayuuto, and GO!
 

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