What do you guys think of 50/50 split in marriage in terms of money?

[Mozart]

Legal contract is very much Islamic as an Islamic marriage is a contract above all else. The only thing that is murky is alimony as only pregnant women are entitled to that.

In a Muslim society marriages are documented the same way it is in the West. Marriage is never a private affair the way some Western Muslims try to make it seem.

I meant the consequences of a legal contract . In the west there’s a financial loss with divorce but for Muslim guys there’s also the dowry payment which is a double hit. I’d never do both

 

[Mozart]

You're not a muslim why do you care about what believers choose to do ?

Why do all Somali women get personal when you point out hypocrisy ? My religious beliefs have nothing to do with societal observations

 

[Angelina]

I meant the consequences of a legal contract . In the west there’s a financial loss with divorce but for Muslim guys there’s also the dowry payment which is a double hit. I’d never do both

Islamically, you have to pay child support. In an Islamic society your ex can even charge you to breast feed your own kid ect. Islamic figh is fascinating.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

"iSLaMicaLLy wE CaN kEEp oUr mOnEy" well Islamically speaking it says we can gently discipline you but you don't see a lot of that going around do you?

 

[QueenofKings]

Legal contract is very much Islamic as an Islamic marriage is a contract above all else. The only thing that is murky is alimony as only pregnant women are entitled to that.

In a Muslim society marriages are documented the same way it is in the West. Marriage is never a private affair the way some Western Muslims try to make it seem. How are both sides meant to petition their rights?

Also, all the fatwa's I've seen have all said it was acceptable to register marriages in a non Muslim country. So, i don't understand how you came to that conclusion. But lying, pretending to be a single mother certainly isn't acceptable.

I thought alimony was allowed in Islam if the marriage was consummated, and the wife did not do something to cause the divorce or initiate it. Is this only the case during pregnancy?

 

[Sloane Ranger]

Why do all Somali women get personal when you point out hypocrisy ? My religious beliefs have nothing to do with societal observations

I'm the only woman that pointed this out so how is it all of us ? Besides this is an issue that you will not have to deal with so your entire point is illogical as you will not be dealing with this for one. Not to mention you stated Somali women using the religion to benefit ourselves selectively. Well isn't that what you're doing despite not being a believer?

 

[Mozart]

Islamically, you have to pay child support. In an Islamic society your ex can even charge you to breast feed your own kid ect. Islamic figh is fascinating.

You don’t have to . If you believe in hanbali Sunni Islam that yeah but that’s cherry-picking one particular view of a specific sect because it benefits women. Most sects believe it isn’t the man’s responsibility after the third talaq.

 

[Sloane Ranger]

"iSLaMicaLLy wE CaN kEEp oUr mOnEy" well Islamically speaking it says we can gently discipline you but you don't see a lot of that going around do you?

So you're broke ?

 

[Angelina]

I thought alimony was allowed in Islam if the marriage was consummated, and the wife did not do something to cause the divorce or initiate it. Is this only the case during pregnancy?

I heard after the Iddah he doesn't have to. So for four months he has to support you. I'm not 100% sure. I think we need to look at some scholarly view points.

 

[Angelina]

You don’t have to . If you believe in hanbali Sunni Islam that yeah but that’s cherry-picking one particular view of a specific sect because it benefits women. Most sects believe it isn’t the man’s responsibility after the third talaq.

What with charging the ex husband to breast feed kids?

All madhabs. Like all.

The only dispute is that if a married woman still married to the father than.

There is no cherry picking.

Also, obviously there is no dispute when it comes child support. A man is 100% financially responsible for the kids.

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

So you're broke ?

Nah, but I'm not being a meal-ticket for women from low socioeconomic backgrounds

 

[QueenofKings]

"iSLaMicaLLy wE CaN kEEp oUr mOnEy" well Islamically speaking it says we can gently discipline you but you don't see a lot of that going around do you?

You’re comparing options to obligations. The man is obliged to provide for his family. He is not obliged to gently hit his wife - that is an option for some people who cannot communicate like adults.

Good try though.

 

[Mozart]

I'm the only woman that pointed this out so how is it all of us ? Besides this is an issue that you will not have to deal with so your entire point is illogical as you will not be dealing with this for one. Not to mention you stated Somali women using the religion to benefit ourselves selectively. Well isn't that what you're doing despite not being a believer?

I haven’t used religion in this thread to create an advantageous situation for men. I’m saying you all mix and match Muslim and western ideals only when it suits you. If I was a woman I’d do it to, but I’d be honest

 

[Mozart]

What with charging the ex husband to breast feed kids?

All madhabs. Like all.

The only dispute is that if a married woman still married to the father than.

There is no cherry picking.

Also, obviously there is no dispute when it comes child support. A man is 100% financially responsible for the kids.

It’s the view of a particular sect

What are the husband’s obligations towards his children and his ex-wife who has custody of them? - Islam Question & Answer

www.google.co.uk

 

[Angelina]

Nah, but I'm not being a meal-ticket for women from low socioeconomic backgrounds

I don't know. You just really need to find out if she is okay with it. You don't want to be questioned on the day of judgement as to why you refused to fully provide.

Different strokes, for different folks.

 

[Angelina]

It’s the view of a particular sect

What are the husband’s obligations towards his children and his ex-wife who has custody of them? - Islam Question & Answer

www.google.co.uk

We are talking about breast feeding. No difference of opinion.

Also, you have to provide for the kids whether she has custody or not.

 

[QueenofKings]

I haven’t used religion in this thread to create an advantageous situation for men. I’m saying you all mix and match Muslim and western ideals only when it suits you. If I was a woman I’d do it to, but I’d be honest

Can you give us an example of how practising Muslim women cherry pick? You’re saying we up play advantageous rules but down play ....in your experience what? And do you think men do the same? Or do all men deal fairly with women?

 

[Angelina]

@Mozart

The husband must spend on his children, which includes accommodation, food, drink, clothing, school costs, medical care and all that they need.

That should be worked out on a reasonable basis, paying attention to the husband’s financial situation, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted - let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease”


You're getting confused. The issue isn't child support. The issue is charging the husband to look after the kids on top of him providing for them which the Malikis have a differing view on.

But i've read a fatwa on breast feeding a baby which is completely different as their is actual proof from the Quran which talks about paying women ect.

 

[IPushFatKids]

I have particularly strong feelings on this topic, and its been coming up a lot recently.

To surmise:

Men, if you want a 'traditional' marriage, where the wife is the homemaker, nurturer etc, then there is no such thing as "50-50".

If you want her to earn a living and help pay for living costs, then you do not have the right to get the privileges of a 'traditional' marriage, because asking your wife to work and put on pants in the morning, like yourself is not 'traditional'.

This is where all the issues come from modern marriages where there are frequent divorces, women are overburdened. They have the same home responsibilities from 50 years ago but with an added 9-5 job. The men do not take on extra workload.

You want a traditional marriage, with a fit, friendly, cooperative women who can cook & clean and all that jazz, you ideally need to pay 100%. Every dollar your wife pays, thats some respect you have lost.

But the problem is depending where you live, 2 incomes are required to pay all the bills. It is what it is though, men should strive while they young to be able to be able to earn enough on just one income.

Every dollar your wife pays, thats some respect you have lost.

/end of

 

[Nak-Muay-Kru]

You’re comparing options to obligations. The man is obliged to provide for his family. He is not obliged to gently hit his wife - that is an option for some people who cannot communicate like adults.

Good try though.

Then I'll exercise that "option" routinely

I don't know. You just really need to find out if she is okay with it. You don't want to be questioned on the day of judgement as to why you refused to fully provide.

Different strokes, for different folks.

Most women are happy to contribute to the household, it's almost a given that they'll chip in IRL. Austises on here are living in la-la land if they think that's not the case lol.