I feel like some of this new users you can’t reason with. Pretending Madow is a nice word to use but if you used it on a Somali they start crying. A long break from somalispot is needed. It’s getting v.toxic.
Yeah when the intention is to substitute Madow for the n-word it's toxic and just an attempt to be slick with the racism. So there is really no way to objectively use this word in the West.
But then again the term Madow doesn't make any sense on the surface, since Somalis have a variation of hair-types and are not exactly jileec like Indians but more on a spectrum (not too curly and not too straight).
I think what our ancestors tried to convey is a way to describe foreign ethnicities on the basis of their appearance. What us diasporas usually do is demean people we could otherwise describe perfectly fine with their ethnicity, as a way to get back at them.
Honestly I wouldn't take a break over such debates, they are to be expected, and maybe you can change somebody's mind, you never know.