This whole “Somali boys get treated like king but Somali women don’t “ it’s just false

[Bundasliga]

There is no such a thing as a “lazy” somali mom. Watch your mouth, waad kibir badhantahay don’t disrespect hoyos.

Somalispot cant fathom the fact that some mothers can be evil .

Its funny that xalimos trying to argue that they get treated worse than boys & have to do all the cooking & cleaning ,but never acknowledge who forcing them.

Is it the father ? Even in households with no father ?

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

@Angelina everyone knows if younger women took my advice, they'll have a top quality provider man within 3-6 months. They would be able to sit on their ass drinking Starbucks while watching The View with 2-3 hours of daily housework. Instead, they are taught to be hostile and masculine towards them and we see the results today. Very sad.

 

[Qeelbax]

Somalispot cant fathom the fact that some mothers can be evil .

Its funny that xalimos trying to argue that they get treated worse than boys & have to do all the cooking & cleaning ,but never acknowledge who forcing them.

Is it the father ? Even in households with no father ?

The mother is burdened, there’s nothing wrong with children doing chores but expecting the eldest daughter to do everything while the other 7 siblings do nothing is bad. These moms are not lazy, they are unequal and following old outdated norms.

 

[yasmeen]

No such a thing as “too much emphasis on deen”. There is never enough. I believe in semi-assimilation not full. What somali parents are stopping you from “assimilation”? They won’t stop you from living a regular halal lifestyle but if you want that haram kafir lifestyle then wadada ka qulqul.

I believe it is a waste of resources to pay for dugsi for several years of the child’s life instead of home schooling them. Now imagine paying for 5+ kids like the average Somali family. My father used to pay $60 per child per month for dugsi. I was a studious hafiz but I believe it was a waste of my time and my father’s resources. I still became ex muslim in the end. That money should’ve been used for more important matters. If your money isn’t elevating your family’s life wyd? If deen is so important to you, just teach them at home. Dugsi has never changed anyone’s life for the better. On the contrary, some people just walk away with frustrations or bad experiences.

I also believe it is idiotic that our parents don’t care about sports or extracurriculars and don’t prep their children for their futures. This could keep them off the streets. It is wasted potential our kids aren’t all enrolled in sports and extracurriculars. We could have prepped them for universities with a full ride. We could have had more olympic athletes by now. Our boys could have had mentors who could have guided them into excelling in academia. The only Somalis that I know who do extracurriculars are the ambitions ones. But these personality archetypes aren’t the majority.

Our families do hate when we assimilate. I have had friends and family members sent off to Africa for “acting white” or “too western”. If you show signs of assimilation, it’s over for you and they start thinking you’re gaal raac. It’s like they want to keep us in poverty with their ignorance.

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They don’t know what it takes to succeed in the west. They are too focused on akhirah to care about the dunya. This indifference for the dunya has a negative effect on how they raise their children. It means they don’t care about the quality of our lives or our futures.

 

[Waa dhamatay]

The mother is burdened, there’s nothing wrong with children doing chores but expecting the eldest daughter to do everything while the other 7 siblings do nothing is bad. These moms are not lazy, they are unequal and following old outdated norms.

This is not good, the wife is meant to be busy and work hard

 

[Bundasliga]

Did these women procreate assexaully? Why is it on them to not have kids? These are the same men who will not help their wives in the West and have ten more in Somali screaming about landheernimo. When will some of you Abdis take accountability? Even young men on here talk about having lots of wives and kids in the future and landheernimo. The same cycle and it’s women that are constantly blamed for it.

The men aren't the ones complaining, according to yall they even treated pike kings ,why would they change it? LOL

If the women are the ones complaining they should avoid having that many children .

Either way im against 4+ children in the West anyway, its not suitable for big families hence the problems .

 

[CDG89]

Women actually do have life on easy mode from birth to 24/25. They don't need to do much to be considered top quality. Stay thin, be very kind, very pleasant, very feminine and a well off man will marry them and make them a stay at home mom and she won't have anything to worry about in life. You don't even need to be beautiful.

this isn’t true. The demand far exceeds the supply. Also, most men that end up well of by marriageable age, almost always come from upper middle class families themselves (ie no student loans, access to a trust , a home as a wedding gift etc). Those men typically marry women from the same socioeconomic background.
I have been seeing lots of that rhetoric lately from both manosphere, and hypergamy sides of social media. It just doesn’t reflect reality.

 

[Jiron]

in some instances it's true, girls are unfairly held to a different standard. It's much better to build a trust system with all ur children

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

this isn’t true. The demand far exceeds the supply. Also, most men that end up well of by marriageable age, almost always come from upper middle class families themselves (ie no student loans, access to a trust , a home as a wedding gift etc). Those men typically marry women from the same socioeconomic background.
I have been seeing lots of that rhetoric lately from both manosphere, and hypergamy sides of social media. It just doesn’t reflect reality.

No, almost all Somalis guys who end up well off today grew up in poor or middle class households. There's no good Somali male supply shortage. I personally know at least a dozen well off Somali guys around my age who are single and choose to stay single for the time being. Everyone knows multiple well off Somali guys who are bachelors. They are dealing with the supply shortage of marriage material women. It's not the other way around. Someone well off like them is not a quality. Otherwise, they would have had 1000 to pick from. They're not rare. There's hundreds of them on LinkedIn in your city. They're waiting for the quality one, not anyone.

 

[Qeelbax]

I believe it is a waste of resources to pay for dugsi for several years of the child’s life instead of home schooling them. Now imagine paying for 5+ kids like the average Somali family. My father used to pay $60 per child per month for dugsi. I was a studious hafiz but I believe it was a waste of my time and my father’s resources. I still became ex muslim in the end. That money should’ve been used for more important matters. If your money isn’t elevating your family’s life wyd? If deen is so important to you, just teach them at home. Dugsi has never changed anyone’s life for the better. On the contrary, some people just walk away with frustrations or bad experiences.

I also believe it is idiotic that our parents don’t care about sports or extracurriculars and don’t prep their children for their futures. This could keep them off the streets. It is wasted potential our kids aren’t all enrolled in sports and extracurriculars. We could have prepped them for universities with a full ride. We could have had more olympic athletes by now. Our boys could have had mentors who could have guided them into excelling in academia. The only Somalis that I know who do extracurriculars are the ambitions ones. But these personality archetypes aren’t the majority.

Our families do hate when we assimilate. I have had friends and family members sent off to Africa for “acting white” or “too western”. If you show signs of assimilation, it’s over for you and they start thinking you’re gaal raac. It’s like they want to keep us in poverty with their ignorance.

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They don’t know what it takes to succeed in the west. They are too focused on akhirah to care about the dunya. This indifference for the dunya has a negative effect on how they raise their children. It means they don’t care about the quality of our lives or our futures.

May Allah swt guide you.

 

[Dualke]

I believe it is a waste of resources to pay for dugsi for several years of the child’s life instead of home schooling them. Now imagine paying for 5+ kids like the average Somali family. My father used to pay $60 per child per month for dugsi. I was a studious hafiz but I believe it was a waste of my time and my father’s resources. I still became ex muslim in the end. That money should’ve been used for more important matters. If your money isn’t elevating your family’s life wyd? If deen is so important to you, just teach them at home. Dugsi has never changed anyone’s life for the better. On the contrary, some people just walk away with frustrations or bad experiences.

I also believe it is idiotic that our parents don’t care about sports or extracurriculars and don’t prep their children for their futures. This could keep them off the streets. It is wasted potential our kids aren’t all enrolled in sports and extracurriculars. We could have prepped them for universities with a full ride. We could have had more olympic athletes by now. Our boys could have had mentors who could have guided them into excelling in academia. The only Somalis that I know who do extracurriculars are the ambitions ones. But these personality archetypes aren’t the majority.

Our families do hate when we assimilate. I have had friends and family members sent off to Africa for “acting white” or “too western”. If you show signs of assimilation, it’s over for you and they start thinking you’re gaal raac. It’s like they want to keep us in poverty with their ignorance.

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They don’t know what it takes to succeed in the west. They are too focused on akhirah to care about the dunya. This indifference for the dunya has a negative effect on how they raise their children. It means they don’t care about the quality of our lives or our futures.

Unrelated but how did you transfer from a regular uni to a dream school? Are you transfering mid-undergraduate or for graduate school/PhD?

 

[yasmeen]

May Allah swt guide you.

I’m never going back to Islam. Gaal 4 lyfe. But I have no hate for muslims I just wish our community was in a better position. I know you can still be muslim and have a normal life. That’s what our history before the war was.


Our community obsesses over Salafi Islam as a coping mechanism after all the trauma they’ve endured. We were forced to take on this new strain of Islam and it’s keeping them stuck in a cycle of regression. They need to believe the afterlife is better than this life to continue coping. We have the highest PTSD rates in the world next to Palestinians who are in an open air prison.

https://www.voanews.com/amp/somali-people-highly-traumatized-after-years-of-conflict/6923368.html

Mental health crisis in Somalia: a review and a way forward - PMC

Somalia has been without an effective government since the collapse of the military regime in 1991. Years of conflict, disasters, and insecurity have all contributed to very low scores for most health indicators due to poor governance, protracted ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[TheLastWaryaa]

I’m never going back to Islam. Gaal 4 lyfe. But I have no hate for muslims I just wish our community was in a better position. I know you can still be muslim and have a normal life. That’s what our history before the war was.


Our community obsesses over Salafi Islam as a coping mechanism after all the trauma they’ve endured. We were forced to take on this new strain of Islam and it’s keeping them stuck in a cycle of regression. They need to believe the afterlife is better than this life to continue coping. We have the highest PTSD rates in the world next to Palestinians who are in an open air prison.

https://www.voanews.com/amp/somali-people-highly-traumatized-after-years-of-conflict/6923368.html

Mental health crisis in Somalia: a review and a way forward - PMC

Somalia has been without an effective government since the collapse of the military regime in 1991. Years of conflict, disasters, and insecurity have all contributed to very low scores for most health indicators due to poor governance, protracted ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

What made you leave Islam?

 

[yasmeen]

Boys don't have it easier in life. It's a myth. Its easier alot easier being a girl than a boy in life.

They also don't do better in school. Most take easy degrees like sociology or history or health studies. Very few in STEM. Almost all Somali guys in uni are doing STEM or business school. The closest hard program would be nursing but nursing is just an average profession.

I am studying

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why are you lying? This isn’t that uncommon. Every Somali girl in my personal life goes for the majors that are lucrative.

And even if they go for the avg majors, that would still have a net positive on our community. The more they invest into our community the better. We need to start taking this shit seriously.

 

[yasmeen]

What made you leave Islam?

I don’t want to get into it because muslims take it personally and try to change my mind. No disrespect but it’s just easier this way.

 

[TheLastWaryaa]

I don’t want to get into it because muslims take it personally and try to change my mind. No disrespect but it’s just easier this way.

I respect that. Please don't leave Somalinimo, some of these ex-Muslims become weird, and start hating on Somalis and trashing us.

 

[yasmeen]

I respect that. Please don't leave Somalinimo, some of these ex-Muslims become weird, and start hating on Somalis and trashing us.

I’ll never do that. I specifically chose my major and career path because I want to help my community.

The reason our community has been stuck in limbo for the last 30 something years is because our secular/educated Somalis decided to f*ck off and disappear to focus on their own lives. I have no interest in doing that. Idc if our muslims never accept me as a gaal. It won’t have any bearing on my life. I’m just trying to help my community. I still have love for the community and that will never change.

 

[Angelina]

@Angelina everyone knows if younger women took my advice, they'll have a top quality provider man within 3-6 months. They would be able to sit on their ass drinking Starbucks while watching The View with 2-3 hours of daily housework. Instead, they are taught to be hostile and masculine towards them and we see the results today. Very sad.

Abdifreedom we both know, in the Somali community there isn’t enough rich men to go around. Look at major cities? Toronto? Gang banging central. London? Uber driver and security men central. Maybe in America many of you lot are doing well. One day, we will have statistics outlining how our community is really doing and it isn’t going to be a pretty picture.

 

[Angelina]

The men aren't the ones complaining, according to yall they even treated pike kings ,why would they change it? LOL

Lol, that has to be your most dumbest point? Why would the culprit complain? Why would the ones who have it on easy mode and behave like sperm doners complain? It’s like a victim complaining about being hit and you’re like deal with it, you’ll continue being abused. That’s your train of thought and it’s about siding with behaviors that you know are blatantly wrong.

If the women are the ones complaining they should avoid having that many children .

It’s women who are the ones left to do everything by men, so why would they complain? But guess what men are complaining about now? Low birth rates. So men hate us modern women for not having as much children, but want women to suffer and do everything themselves. That’s abuse and your lack of sympathy is telling. You are the same man that will complain in another thread as to how modern women are selfish for not putting family first. I’m waiting.

if that’s your thought process, forget having kids maybe low birth rates and high divorce is a good things as women have no options but since you think men have a right to continue behaving this way, despite it impacting the kids.

Why should women get into relationships and both ruining their bodies?

Either way im against 4+ children in the West anyway, its not suitable for big families hence the problems .

 

[AbrahamFreedom]

Abdifreedom we both know, in the Somali community there isn’t enough rich men to go around. Look at major cities? Toronto? Gang banging central. London? Uber driver and security men central. Maybe in America many of you lot are doing well. One day, we will have statistics outlining how our community is really doing and it isn’t going to be pretty picture.

That's how life is, Angelina. It's not a Disney movie. Most people will have to live in poverty. $50K as a single man is different than $50K while married. Maybe you can just have the 1 kid and live in a 1 bedroom apartment. That's if women want a provider. Life was always a struggle for most people in the west.