The rise of the unmarried late 20s - early 30s Somali diaspora woman

[Desert Flower]

I've heard of this too. It seems that they have to settle for less in a lot of cases if they want to marry. Money isn't everything, but having a stable decently paying job is really important to have for guys.

The decent Somali girls to Somali guy ratio is like 3:1.
Somali guys have been affected by their bad neighborhood environment more than the girls
btw are you married?

I would say the ratio is higher than that walaal.

Plus, Somali guys being affected by their neighbourhoods and turning out the way they did (i.e. being killed, going to jail, joining gangs) have multiple implications. For instance, who are somali girls now going to marry? Because unfortunately, the few decent somali guys are being literally hounded by so many girls. And unless he fears allah and has taqwa, some of these guys tend to exhibit characteristics of arrogance and pride, due to the fact that they can get any girl that they want, which in itself is a turn-off.

And no, I'm not married.

 

[Desert Flower]

Makes sense.That reminds me of life in Kenya
Would you consider living in Africa or Asia?

Probably not. I could definitely see myself living in the UAE or Qatar.

 

[Sophisticate]

Your equations are garbage, your purposely suggesting females who have a higher education and money are non-virgins are you scared of an educated women?

This is the internet. They think beauty, intellect and virginity are mutually exclusive. Omg if you add a sense of humour to that then they'd gladly exchange their girlfriend body pillows for your hand.

 

[YourBroMoe]

I would say the ratio is higher than that walaal.

Plus, Somali guys being affected by their neighbourhoods and turning out the way they did (i.e. being killed, going to jail, joining gangs) have multiple implications. For instance, who are somali girls now going to marry? Because unfortunately, the few decent somali guys are being literally hounded by so many girls. And unless he fears allah and has taqwa, some of these guys tend to exhibit characteristics of arrogance and pride, due to the fact that they can get any girl that they want, which in itself is a turn-off.

And no, I'm not married.

There's some truth to this. This one Xalimo wasn't into me in high school. But when we were both in uni, she started talking to me, initiating conversations from time to time. I was in a stressful phase at the time, so I wasn't into it, and she stopped. But that period weirded me out. In retrospect, what you said explains a lot.

 

[Zainab_7]

This is the internet. They think beauty, intellect and virginity are mutually exclusive. Omg if you add a sense of humour to that then they'd gladly exchange their girlfriend body pillows for your hand.

Sis this isnt the first time highschool chasity has been mentioned, its as if going to university automatically creates freedoms to eff around LOOL where this at?? But your right its the internet I shouldnt take it seriously!

 

[Desert Flower]

There's some truth to this. This one Xalimo wasn't into me in high school. But when we were both in uni, she started talking to me, initiating conversations from time to time. I was in a stressful phase at the time, so I wasn't into it, and she stopped. But that period weirded me out. In retrospect, what you said explains a lot.

Curious as to why you felt that way?

I mean, I completely understand why girls would do this. But I think that if a guy is really interested in you, he will make it known. This theory has yet to fail me.

As a girl, I have observed that phenomenon where other girls would literally not stop talking to the so-called decent Somali dude. We talk, so we know what is up.

 

[Manafesto]

Your equations are garbage, your purposely suggesting females who have a higher education and money are non-virgins are you scared of an educated women?

I have nothing against my educated sisters, I just know about college life and what goes down at the campuses and the dorms at night.

I honestly don't think there is a Somali female who is above 28 and still virgin, it is a myth in the west admit it.

 

[GeKo]

Probably not. I could definitely see myself living in the UAE or Qatar.

I'd probably say the same thing if I've never been there. Some places in Africa can look better than you think

I would say the ratio is higher than that walaal.

Plus, Somali guys being affected by their neighbourhoods and turning out the way they did (i.e. being killed, going to jail, joining gangs) have multiple implications. For instance, who are somali girls now going to marry? Because unfortunately, the few decent somali guys are being literally hounded by so many girls. And unless he fears allah and has taqwa, some of these guys tend to exhibit characteristics of arrogance and pride, due to the fact that they can get any girl that they want, which in itself is a turn-off.

And no, I'm not married.

Wallahi you're right. A lot of the guys on here will deny this but its the truth. I lowkey lowered the ratio for my own reasons.
Exactly take into consideration that the few that're being hounded would rather choose an uneducated 19/20 year old girl with just a HS diploma. The odds are now even more stacked up against the good, educated, religious girl in her late 20s.

 

[YourBroMoe]

Curious as to why you felt that way?

I mean, I completely understand why girls would do this. But I think that if a guy is really interested in you, he will make it known. This theory has yet to fail me.

As a girl, I have observed that phenomenon where other girls would literally not stop talking to the so-called decent Somali dude. We talk, so we know what is up.

When someone who showed no interest in you for years suddenly shows interest, it'll weird you out. Trust me on that one.

 

[Desert Flower]

I'd probably say the same thing if I've never been there. Some places in Africa can look better than you think



Wallahi you're right. A lot of the guys on here will deny this but its the truth.
Exactly take into consideration that the few that're being hounded would rather choose an uneducated 19/20 year old girl with just a HS diploma. The odds are now even more stacked up against the good, educated, religious girl in her late 20s.

I appreciate your honesty. It pretty much is, as per my observation.

I always (and still do) appreciate the man who does what he needs to do because he has to, while at the same time, he is down-to-earth and has no ego. TBH, that is rare in my experience. I cannot, for the life of me, stand men who have kibir.

 

[Desert Flower]

When someone who showed no interest in you for years suddenly shows interest, it'll weird you out. Trust me on that one.

Hmm....interesting. Just curious, was it no interest as in, she never spoke to you prior to university, or was it that she would speak with you but was somewhat dismissive?

And yeah definitely, I would feel weirded out too. Perhaps you may feel that you are not their first choice, because if they wanted you, they would've shown interest in you before.

 

[Sophisticate]

Sis this isnt the first time highschool chasity has been mentioned, its as if going to university automatically creates freedoms to eff around LOOL where this at?? But your right its the internet I shouldnt take it seriously!

They have a very strange worldview. I don't undertand it. Certainly, a chip on the shoulder from these ancedotal tall tales they keep uttering on the net. They assume the worst. And they have trust issues. Who damaged them? Should we investigate?

 

[YourBroMoe]

Hmm....interesting. Just curious, was it no interest as in, she never spoke to you prior to university, or was it that she would speak with you but was somewhat dismissive?

And yeah definitely, I would feel weirded out too. Perhaps you may feel that you are not their first choice, because if they wanted you, they would've shown interest in you before.

Nah it ain't that serious. She just never showed any seriousness. You can tell from someone's eyes. How excited they are to see you. If they're elated by your presence. All that jazz. I never felt that from her until that moment. So it fkd up my vibes, cause they were new vibes.

 

[Zainab_7]

I have nothing against my educated sisters, I just know about college life and what goes down at the campuses and the dorms at night.

I honestly don't think there is a Somali female who is above 28 and still virgin, it is a myth in the west admit it.

Where are you from? Where I live most females who went to uni lived with their families & i'm gonna have to disagree with you at 28 maybe she decided to work more to be self-sufficient, get her masters maybe even get her family out of the hood?? Why automatically correlate a females age with self-control?

 

[Desert Flower]

Nah it ain't that serious. She just never showed any seriousness. You can tell from someone's eyes. How excited they are to see you. If they're elated by your presence. All that jazz. I never felt that from her until that moment. So it fkd up my vibes, cause they were new vibes.

I see. Thanks for sharing your perspective. Esp with the body language thing, because most guys won't admit that they pay attention to those subtle cues.

But I'm not surprised though. Some girls talk with a guy in hopes of snatching him up from the market, but you can tell that they are just going through the motions, and really only want him for what he has accomplished, rather than for who he is.

Have you ever been around those couples? There is no chemistry between them. It is quite sad wallahi.

 

[Zainab_7]

They have a very strange worldview. I don't undertand it. Certainly, a chip on the shoulder from these ancedotal tall tales they keep uttering on the net. They assume the worst. And they have trust issues. Who damaged them? Should we investigate?

Yesss!!! I 100% agree we should investigate either its the trust issues or wanting someone younger to control

 

[shabellegal]

cause they choosy and care too much about their family’s opinion. As long as he’s Muslim and has a good career + education it’s not that difficult.

 

[Coulombs law]

A lot of educated Somali women who reside in the west will be forced to marry Ajnabi. That is a fact.

There just simply isn’t enough educated/on par Somali men to cater to the Somali women. You all have noticed the overwhelming difference in ratios at your respective universities and the gap is simply gonna increase.

I wish there is a way to reverse this but things are just looking more bleak towards the future.

 

[dr.leorio]

The Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) prophesied this long ago that this sign would occur during the last hour. This phenomenon is happening among Muslims and non-Muslims alike with women not being able to find husbands.

Al-Bukhari from Anas

who said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah

, saying: “The signs of the Hour include the scarcity of knowledge, the manifestation of ignorance, the display of adultery, the abundance of women, and the decrease of men to the extent that for fifty women there will be one man.” In another narration: “And you will see one man followed by forty women.”

I would suggest bringing back the sunnah of polygamy to get these women married to good Somali men as well as educate the youth about the importance of getting married young and building a family. I personally believe if we don't start now, the problem will only get worse in the future.

 

[Desert Flower]

Ultimately, who your spouse will be is written by Allah. Do your part, but at the same time you cannot force something that is not meant to be. Also make sure to make du'aa constantly that Allah blesses you with the spouse that you desire iA.

I'm saying this because this entire thread seems to be "doom and gloom" and about how women will never find their equal. This thinking leads many girls to give up, and they marry the first average guy that they see because they think that they cannot do better. Know your worth, have high standards and do not settle. Laakin at the same time, be realistic about what your expectations are in a significant other.

The point I am trying to make is, whatever it is that you want in a Somali guy, be it looks, education and/or personality, you can STILL find it. Don't let people make you believe that all of the good guys are gone. Wallahi I believe that in many ways, you attract what you are.