FOB Wannabe Intellectual
The Somali FOB Wannabe Intellectual is essentially a tarted-up version of Saalax Zero Income. He is common in Western countries, particularly in the U.K and U.S. He shares Saalax Zero Income’s narrow-mindedness, ethnic chauvinism, and ignorance but unlike Zero Income, FOB Wannabe Intellectual has generally taken (and sometimes passed) a few college courses, and may even hold a college degree. While Saalax Zero Income typically recognizes that academic concerns are not his domain, FOB Wannabe Intellectual comes with a haughty attitude, thinking himself to be quite intelligent, and often intersperses his English speech and writing with big-words he has carefully selected from the thesaurus, such as “diabolical.” Of course, these words are often misused and his English is generally inelegant and FOBBY, although in his own mind he is a lucid and compelling speaker. In Somali meetings, the FOB Wannabe Intellectual will usually take the mic, introducing himself as
aqoonyahan soomaaliyeed, and will habitually launch into a long-winded and simplistic speech that often has an undertone of jingoism (e.g. "All Somalia's problems are caused by foreigners"). FOB Wannabe Intellectual is prone to lacing his Somali speech with English-words to signal to less educated Somalis that he is some sort of intellectual. Poorly reasoned and too dull to grasp nuance, FOB Wannabe Intellectual is likely to consider any criticism of Somalis to be a personal attack on himself, and will attack the source aggressively. He does not think independently, and does not like independent thinkers—and contributes to the stifling of debate and reform in Somali communities. In his public comments, this individual will often venerate
dhaqan iyo din, although he is typically known for his
qabyaalad, sexism, and reer-badiye-inflected opinions and is a living embodiment of why much of
dhaqan iyo din needs to be critically re-evaluated
. You can often find FOB Wannabe Intellectual in Somali coffee shops, wearing a blazer or sports-coat with out-of-fashion jeans, drinking shah. You will hardly ever catch him reading outside of required school-work, and most of his “intellectual” work consists of watching Zakir Naik videos, a person he considers a valid source of scientific and philosophical understanding. Through his narrow-minded, tendency to attack free thinkers, arrogance, and promotion of outdated and harmful
dhaqan iyo din customs, FOB Wannabe Intellectual is a driver of communal dysfunction in Somali diaspora communities.