Somalis and Encouragement!

[Azirah Anonymous]

Encouragement breeds complacency. You must challenge, undermine and mentally scar your offspring. Always call into question their capabilities in overt and implicit ways. Dangle the promise of compliments that never materialize from your mouth. From this, the truly superior ones will grow and become great; all in order to turn this treatment back on you. They will live their lives with a drive to subjugate and overpower, just as they should. They will, as a result, be far more successful.

You seem like a person who reads a lot of books. Am I right?

 

[xalimathe6]

I’ve heard Somali parents never say they love their kids.


Somalis give me weird look when I tell my mom love you in public... lmfao

That would be so sad smh! Thankfully my parents tell me they love me

 

[Sophisticate]

I think encouragement is non existent amongst Somalis it’s something you wouldn’t expect

I remember when I was eating at my cousins home and his wife comes with a plate of food I thank her my cousin looks at me annoyed so jokingly I asked him when was the last time you thanked her his response shocked me why would I thank her for doing what’s expected from her?

Maybe they consider showing appreciation as unnecessary or foreign. I'm curious, is there a word for gratitude in Somali?

 

[HIGH PRIESTESS]

That's so sad. Where do they look for love? I mean Somalis have an understanding of romantic love given their music and poetry but what of unconditional love of parents/family. I guess like the Spartans love wasn't expressed through words particularly to their kids.

Yep, you nailed it. Somali parental love is very Spartan. They always push us off cliffs and claim it’s for our own benefit.

 

[Gooney112]

Its irresponsible to praise and encourage other peoples kids. You are going against their parents method of raising their kids. I broke up with a girl because of this. Always praised me, you are sexy, you are so funny etc etc. I was like arevyou mocking me, stop saying these weird shit

 

[Sophisticate]

Please do.
I have never said I love you to a female in my entire existence nor did I ever cried out of emotion or joy. Do I luck something?

I've never said I love you to anyone outside my friends and family. You don't lack anything. You were taught to be that way. And its ok not say I love you to a female if you do not find it authentic. I have not said that to males interested in me. But I do believe appreciation of some sort is important.

Women actually cry more than men according to a leading tear expert.

 

[bluebird]

Maybe they consider showing appreciation as unnecessary or foreign. I'm curious, is there a word for gratitude in Somali?

Mahad celis

 

[Sophisticate]

Yep, you nailed it. Somali parental love is very Spartan. They always push us off cliffs and claim it’s for our own benefit.

It's interesting because I've seen a variety of personalities among Somali parents. Some being more affectionate others being more traditional and reserved.

But the common thread is Spartan. Praise among many doesn't seem to be as common as criticizing.

 

[Hatredfree]

Probably homeless kids

 

[Mercury]

Maybe they consider showing appreciation as unnecessary or foreign. I'm curious, is there a word for gratitude in Somali?

I think it’s mahad naq or mahad celis

What’s funny is that when a Somali is on tv or is in politics and holding a speech they will hurl appreciation left and right but amongst family it’s never spoken

 

[Gooney112]

It's interesting because I've seen a variety of personalities among Somali parents. Some being more affectionate others being more traditional and reserved.

But the common thread is Spartan. Praise among many doesn't seem to be as common as criticizing.

What do kids do that warrant constant praise? Go to school? Do chores when told? Listen to their parents? All sh1t they supposed to do. Reminds me of chris rock when he said niggas always want praise for sh1t they supposed to do

 

[HIGH PRIESTESS]

It's interesting because I've seen a variety of personalities among Somali parents. Some being more affectionate others being more traditional and reserved.

But the common thread is Spartan. Praise among many doesn't seem to be as common as criticizing.

Whenever I wouldsay “I love you” to my mum, she would freeze and just look at me like

Me and my parents are very close and we get along very well, but I’ve never seen them express affection to me or any of my siblings. Lol I used to get jealous when the white kids on tv said “I love you” to their parents and they said it back

 

[Sophisticate]

Its irresponsible to praise and encourage other peoples kids. You are going against their parents method of raising their kids. I broke up with a girl because of this. Always praised me, you are sexy, you are so funny etc etc. I was like arevyou mocking me, stop saying these weird shit

I guess you didn't believe her or found it to be misleading, or excessive.

Or maybe kind words aren't your love language. For some people, an expression of appreciation is demonstrated through actions/kind gestures.

 

[Sophisticate]

Probably homeless kids

They were not. I don't know what would make you say that? And hypothetically speaking if they were why would it matter? Those young men were full of zeal and enthusiasm about the future. A characteristic among the youth which we need more of. I encourage that! And believe it was imperative as their elder to lift them up.

Mahad celis

Thank you.

I think it’s mahad naq or mahad celis

What’s funny is that when a Somali is on tv or is in politics and holding a speech they will hurl appreciation left and right but amongst family it’s never spoken

Why do you think they do that?

 

[Geeljire lotus]

We all need some encouragement in this world full of malevolence

 

[Lamiis]

it isn't in somali culture to show your love to friends/family members. I never told my parents and siblings I love them. western Somalis are OK though.

You never said I love you to your mother

 

[Gooney112]

I guess you didn't believe her or found it to be misleading, or excessive.

Or maybe kind words aren't your love language. For some people, an expression of appreciation is demonstrated through actions/kind gestures.

I felt it was insincere. She was saying it cause she thought thats what I wanted to hear. And was expecting same things from me

 

[Sophisticate]

What do kids do that warrant constant praise? Go to school? Do chores when told? Listen to their parents? All sh1t they supposed to do. Reminds me of chris rock when he said niggas always want praise for sh1t they supposed to do

Your mere existence should be celebrated and thanked. And why is that some people forget there is a hadith on gratitude. From what I remember the Prophet PBUH said, "He has not thanked Allah who has not thanked people."

 

[Sophisticate]

Whenever I wouldsay “I love you” to my mum, she would freeze and just look at me like

Me and my parents are very close and we get along very well, but I’ve never seen them express affection to me or any of my siblings. Lol I used to get jealous when the white kids on tv said “I love you” to their parents and they said it back

Huuno, how about hugs? I give one to my parents each day. I do it to lower their risk of heart disease and boost immunity. My mother isn't a fan.:siilaanyolaugh: But my father doesn't mind, he gets the method to the madness.

 

[Gooney112]

Your mere existence should be celebrated and thanked. And why is that some people forget there is a hadith on gratitude. From what I remember the Prophet PBUH said, "He has not thanked Allah who has not thanked people."

I get that......but imagine if I kept bombarding you with compliments. At some point you would say hey ok I get it. Also like most somalis I get uncomfortable with too much niceness. Real men dont operate like that. I give you one compliment a day and thats more than enough