Somali Love

[NAAFO]

Hello everyone I would like to know everybodys thought, views, opinions regarding these amazing and beautiful marriages anybody who claims to love "love" believe in romance/love but has a unhealthy unrealistic image of what love is because of popular media yuck such as soaps, turkish/spanish mursasaal, bollywood/hollywood movies should realise having this ideal of love is not a good thing to indulge one self in "make believe" can cause serious problems for a individual who participates in fruitless pursuits both pyschologically & emotionally that's why when discussing love/romance we should be realistic and understand that it comes in various forms even within our beloved community Mash'Allah even if your apathetic then understand that all human beings deserve to be loved, cherished, embraced, etc please be respectful constructive criticism only

 

[VixR]

I personally wouldn’t.

I wonder at the dominant thought process: whether it’s actual love (which I would think is the rarest reason), profound selflessness, financial motivation, or some sort of peak, bizarre virtue signaling.

It defies normality, especially for women (and yet ironically, we’re more likely to take on the cripples and broken things), though I think that’s no surprise, especially in 3rd world countries. My best guess is a blend of virtue signaling and financial motivation in the vast majority of cases. The latter is certainly the case with Somali women being married to literally mentally ill men, whether to their knowledge or not.

 

[Huda]

I don't believe in a love. Honestly. I believe in isku meelgaar. Putting up with each other for the sake of being "married", having your own family and completing half your deen. There's no such thing as love. It's a delusion

 

[NAAFO]

@VixR That's your view and I can see your point however I categorically disagree and reject your thinking as a human being & as a Muslim I presume that you are, every person has a fundamental right to be happy especially with someone they love which Allah Subhana Watallah has ordained you shouldn't deny others want you want for yourself this is something that Allah cannot abide people who are envious and behave like detractors towards other people because they can't stand other peoples happiness as they don't the best for their Muslim brothers and sisters these people are not only our Muslim brothers and sisters but also our Somali brothers and sisters you shouldn't question their love for each other by thinking cynically you don't know what they've gone through you yourself might be motivated by financial gain when it comes to relationships & other shallow things like looks but not everyone else is also this can be further backed up by the couple Ali Yare & Fahmo Abdullah they're in EA, Uganda in other words a third world country what do they have to gain other than sincere love this is why this community is becoming Jahiill (ignorant) and rachet by the day this community seems more ok with marrying of its sons and daughters to outsiders (ajanabi) than supporting and loving their own sons and daughters wallahi its disgusting we exclude based on qabil especially unrepresented minorities like Madow somali's, those who don't have a qabil theirs a term for them I'm sure you've heard it before it seems your mentality is indicative of this mindset sad wallahi change sister Insh'Allah

 

[Farhiya 687]

I think love is nice. But the idea of it’s co-dependent I can’t live without you. Is weird living your life and simultaneously loving them is possible. Honestly I think respect, liking, caring about someone is better than love. Because love is super ambiguous maybe I don’t practice it in the way you like it.

This is a interesting case.

 

[kickz]

I don't believe in a love. Honestly. I believe in isku meelgaar. Putting up with each other for the sake of being "married", having your own family and completing half your deen. There's no such thing as love. It's a delusion

This is dark acudubillah

 

[Farhiya 687]

This is dark acudubillah

I think it’s a good mindset less disappointment. And a willingness to work through things despite the odds. Co-operation FTW.

 

[Huda]

This is dark acudubillah

LMAOOOO i'm just being honest

 

[kickz]

I think it’s a good mindset less disappointment. And a willingness to work through things despite the odds. Co-operation FTW.

LMAOOOO i'm just being honest

@VixR I found the girls in the videos

 

[Basra]

Hello everyone I would like to know everybodys thought, views, opinions regarding these amazing and beautiful marriages anybody who claims to love "love" believe in romance/love but has a unhealthy unrealistic image of what love is because of popular media yuck such as soaps, turkish/spanish mursasaal, bollywood/hollywood movies should realise having this ideal of love is not a good thing to indulge one self in "make believe" can cause serious problems for a individual who participates in fruitless pursuits both pyschologically & emotionally that's why when discussing love/romance we should be realistic and understand that it comes in various forms even within our beloved community Mash'Allah even if your apathetic then understand that all human beings deserve to be loved, cherished, embraced, etc please be respectful constructive criticism only

 

[Huda]

@VixR I found the girls in the videos

Wait what?

 

[kickz]

Wait what?

I was joking but your mindset is bleak,
don't you think your parents like each other?

 

[Farhiya 687]

@VixR I found the girls in the videos

Oh what video?

 

[kickz]

Oh what video?

I was talking about the two video's in the first post

 

[AussieHustler]

@NAAFO

Great thread and please can you put punctuations in your posts. You make great points and good structured arguments, but it is very painful to read. Thanks. No pun.

First, the word 'love' needs to be carefully deconstructed it's meaning and people falling "in-love" and falling "out-love" with all kinds of people has no religious premise because it is a universal thing and could be found anywhere.

Secondly, in most cultures, relationships between an able bodied and a disabled person, in most cases, it is between an able bodied woman and a disabled man. You will rarely see a man falling for a disabled woman, but it is quiet common in the opposite.Why?

Thirdly, the causes of this phenomenon vary and are complex. But as @VixR pointed out, within the Somali context, a Somali woman may marry a disabled man and then be called love. Have you seen a case of a male Somali marrying a disabled female? Even in the case when a disability strikes two healthy couples, the wife would rarely leave her disabled husband and she would care for him and the children and become the bread winner of the family. However, (in most cases), the bloke would abandon his sick wife and seek another wife. Is it love or responsibility? Is it pragmatism or idealism? Is it that he has a better chance in getting another lover and she couldn't? I think it is a mix of all the above which we base our choice/decission and has nothing to do with "love".

 

[Farhiya 687]

I was talking about the two video's in the first post

Ah they’re sweet. I could do it probs if I wasn’t an adventurous person.

 

[Farhiya 687]

@NAAFO

Great thread and please can you put punctuations in your posts. You make great points and good structured arguments, but it is very painful to read. Thanks. No pun.

First, the word 'love' needs to be carefully deconstructed it's meaning and people falling "in-love" and falling "out-love" with all kinds of people has no religious premise because it is a universal thing and could be found anywhere.

Secondly, in most cultures, relationships between an able bodied and a disabled person, in most cases, it is between an able bodied woman and a disabled man. You will rarely see a man falling for a disabled woman, but it is quiet common in the opposite.Why?

Thirdly, the causes of this phenomenon vary and are complex. But as @VixR pointed out, within the Somali context, a Somali woman may marry a disabled man and then be called love. Have you seen a case of a male Somali marrying a disabled female? Even in the case when a disability strikes two healthy couples, the wife would rarely leave her disabled husband and she would care for him and the children and become the bread winner of the family. However, (in most cases), the bloke would abandon his sick wife and seek another wife. Is it love or responsibility? Is it pragmatism or idealism? Is it that he has a better chance in getting another lover and she couldn't? I think it is a mix of the all above which we base our choice/decission and has nothing to do with "love".

I’m not trying to be edgy. But I don’t believe love exists maybe in some cases. Good feelings longer for me if it’s based on respect. You might be in love with someone then you discover oh they’re cruel, boring etc.

 

[AussieHustler]

I’m not trying to be edgy. But I don’t believe love exists maybe in some cases. Good feelings longer for me if it’s based on respect. You might be in love with someone then you discover oh they’re cruel, boring etc.

@Farhiya 687

People get attracted to other people for all kinds of reasons and contexts. We choose someone who we think has got all the qualities that we are seeking in a partner for only one to find that another person or even h/her partner's friend has better qualities than h/him. What should one do? I think "love" is the emotions that we build and create in our head to define the characteristics of that person. When you are horny and decide that h/she is the only one for you, we see no faults in the said person. We are in-love. How can one fulfil and be honest and responsible with the trust and respect bestowed on them by the other person? "Love", marriage and relationships are social contracts that mutually requires respect and loyalty towards one another.

 

[Saar]

"LOVE DOESN'T EXIST" Subhanallah enjoy yourselves and stop being gloomy.

 

[Farhiya 687]

@Farhiya 687

People get attracted to other people for all kinds of reasons and contexts. We choose someone who we think has got all the qualities that we are seeking in a partner for only one to find that another person or even h/her partner's friend has better qualities than h/him. What should one do? I think "love" is the emotions that we build and create in our head to define the characteristics of that person. When you are horny and decide that h/she is the only one for you, we see no faults in the said person. We are in-love. How can one fulfil and be honest and responsible with the trust and respect bestowed on them by the other person? "Love", marriage and relationships are social contracts that mutually requires respect and loyalty towards one another.

Most definitely. Cause I remember people being in love hopping from person to person. Initially loving each other than despising each other. Thinking this isn’t for me. Too much emotional labour & drama.