Somali dudes. Serious question. No trolling

[Zeus]

Why do atheist always have to bring islam into. I don't believe in God like u akhi but that has nothing to with religion but a man's inherent nature to protect his female family members.

GTFO, you're the guy who left the religion 1 month ago I know the indoctrination is still in you.

 

[Ferrari]

No, but you are stupider.




Ohh she can!lol who are you to say she can't.
I can't travel without my family, stop trying to slander me now. You always get so personal, horta did your missus run off with an ajnabi?

Adiga don't you think there is something wrong with a woman who looks down and hates the men from her community so much so she marries out twice, wanting to come back to the same men she hated yesterday?

 

[Nightline Kid]

Everyone is racist if we are being fair. I would much rather raise somali kids because I am related to them just by being Somali and if I had kids they would look like them. It far worse to be raising madow or Arab kids. The point is divorced women have it hard remarrying but those with ajnabi ex husbands have it more difficult and even those with ajnabi children of the same father have it even more difficult and u know who had it more difficult than those? Those with multiple ajnabi children like the woman op is talking about. A Somali woman witny 2 Somali kids and a Somali women with two madow or cadaan kids do not have the same chance of marrying a Somali guy. That's a hard fact. Race traitors are not and should never be accepted.

I wasn't really saying otherwise. It's not racist to wish for kids that are the same race and/or ethnicity as you, and I never disagreed that a Somali woman that married an ajnabi and had kids with them was going to have trouble marrying a Somali man. I was just saying that a Somali with a madow kid is going to have a lot more trouble than a Somali with an Arab kid because Somalis generally look down on madows. I'm indifferent towards the whole "race traitor" thing at the end of the day, it doesn't really concern me, but like I said, I never disagreed that it would be difficult for a Somali women in such circumstances to marry a Somali man

 

[Ferrari]

I wasn't really saying otherwise. It's not racist to wish for kids that are the same race and/or ethnicity as you, and I never disagreed that a Somali woman that married an ajnabi and had kids with them was going to have trouble marrying a Somali man. I was just saying that a Somali with a madow kid is going to have a lot more trouble than a Somali with an Arab kid because Somalis generally look down on madows.

Maybe. I speak for myself only and I don't really consider madows to be any less than Arabs. I am racist, full stop.

 

[embarassing]

Everyone is racist if we are being fair. I would much rather raise somali kids because I am related to them just by being Somali and if I had kids they would look like them. It far worse to be raising madow or Arab kids. The point is divorced women have it hard remarrying but those with ajnabi ex husbands have it more difficult and even those with ajnabi children of the same father have it even more difficult and u know who had it more difficult than those? Those with multiple ajnabi children like the woman op is talking about. A Somali woman witny 2 Somali kids and a Somali women with two madow or cadaan kids do not have the same chance of marrying a Somali guy. That's a hard fact. Race traitors are not and should never be accepted.

Everyone isn't racist, only the simple minded or people who suffer from inferiority complexes are racist. Racism is hate based, its to think you're superior to another people in one way or another.

To want to marry within your own people isn't racist, that born out of love for your own people/culture, its familiarity and preference. Unless you want to marry them out of hatred for other people. I think that is something beautiful and honourable and is far removed from racism.

 

[Gamas]

Nope. And you're stupid in thinking that she has changed. She still values you below other guys. It's only her that has devalued with two failed marriages. In her mind, now that you're equals she thinks you're worth considering.

As someone mentioned earlier, self-hatred is a disease for life. Led her stay in her lane and marry some other revert.

Don't touch that shit with a 10ft pole.

 

[SuldaanGuled]

This.

Out of all the guys who responded, you are the least dishonest, and that's saying something, but I'll give you some credit.

If you really want me to go into extreme cases like the lady with 13 husbands, and we all saw the nature of the responses to that; there's the common phenomenon of Somalis in the West marrying divorcées to have sex with them, and then they leave, case in point the 13 "marriages". There are handfuls of women like this in every community, whereas in the old days back home, although there are/were many women who easily had up to three or four marriages, there are stark differences in the environment, the reasons for divorce or multiple marriages, and in the nature of how the multiply-divorced Somali women fare/d there vs here, and usually in their case, the first one or two were arranged and the second or third of their choosing, one or two of them usually having been lost to conflict.

I have seen a Somali man marry a woman who had previously married an ajnabi and with a child from the previous marriage, but that was one failed marriage and one child. Generally, I don't see a trend of women who're married to ajnabis actively trying to marry from the Somali community, but with regards to failed marriages, even the once-divorced ones who have married from the Somali community have no perceptibly easier time of it for having had a Somali child(ren) vs a mixed child(ren), much as you'd 'hope' otherwise.

Having kids from different mothers or fathers and having multiple failed marriages is a rational reason to reject marrying the person, including for women when they're looking into eligible men, bc it indicates a trend of bad decision-making and failure to solve problems, not to mention it widens the scope of issues and hurdles you'll have to deal with, ie the previous partners, the childrens' adjustment to you or lack thereof, and being a father or mother figure to children that don't belong to you, etc. The race of the previous partners is irrational, bc it's a superficial dressing to the root of the actual issue. It's nothing more than a gut reaction to a perceived so-called rejection in the minds of these purists, hence the reason this hypothetical is based on the repentance of the woman as if for past wrongs against them

It seems to me that you're response is somewhat fixated on the comments made by some of posters here while i was talking in general and from my own experiences that i've personally come across. There's a reason as to why i asked you whether or not you've had the opportunity to talk with divorced somali women with non somali kids who wanted to marry a somali man. By talking to them you will come to understand that they face a challenge that's only specific to them & those who're in a similar circumstance as them. This challenge isn't present with their counterparts who have somali kids even though they're divorced as well. The more you venture out and learn through personal experience the trials, challenges others face the more your horizon iyo scope broadens.

It's because of that reason that many women opt to stay in abusive marriages because the alternative is far worse i know of cases where the husband does everything including sleeping with other women but despite of all this the wife refuses to leave the husband. Not everyone is emotionally strong nor capable of handling the pressure of being a divorcee with mixed kids. Some realise the challenges of such a marriage only after it breaks down and want to remarry again.

Divorced somali women with non somali kids seeking to marry a somali aren't a single group either as they're quite diverse but the ones i've come across the most tended to be young and had negative views of somali men. It's only after their marriages broke down that their views about somali men changed. Funny enough i've also met somali men who changed their views about somali women after their interracial marriage broke down. Seems like they married for the wrong reasons

Hada aan kuso gaabsho qomiyaada ninka iyo ciyaalka shay muhim ayey uu tahay dadka qarkood sidas darteed indha in aan wado is tirno waa laga fican yahay

I'm the least dishonest ? waa warey i feel privileged adiguna ? were you honest with your answers mise did the purist comments got the best of you ? which is it ? fadlaan ruunta ii sheeg

 

[Prince of Lasanod]

I wasn't really saying otherwise. It's not racist to wish for kids that are the same race and/or ethnicity as you, and I never disagreed that a Somali woman that married an ajnabi and had kids with them was going to have trouble marrying a Somali man. I was just saying that a Somali with a madow kid is going to have a lot more trouble than a Somali with an Arab kid because Somalis generally look down on madows. I'm indifferent towards the whole "race traitor" thing at the end of the day, it doesn't really concern me, but like I said, I never disagreed that it would be difficult for a Somali women in such circumstances to marry a Somali man

There is no difference if you're white, black, arab, chinese.

 

[Ferrari]

Everyone isn't racist, only the simple minded or people who suffer from inferiority complexes are racist. Racism is hate based, its to think you're superior to another people in one way or another.

To want to marry within your own people isn't racist, that born out of love for your own people/culture, its familiarity and preference. Unless you want to marry them out of hatred for other people. I think that is something beautiful and honourable and is far removed from racism.

I only have issues with interracial marriages that are born out of self hate and hate for your community. No one has issues with people meeting marrying each other for the right reasons even if they are from different backgrounds.

Interesting that you make this argument while @:333 made the exact opposite argument(I can't marry my own because I love them too much).

 

[VixR]

It seems to me that you're response is somewhat fixated on the comments made by some of posters here while i was talking in general and from my own experiences that i've personally come across. There's a reason as to why i asked you whether or not you've had the opportunity to talk with divorced somali women with non somali kids who wanted to marry a somali man. By talking to them you will come to understand that they face a challenge that's only specific to them & those who're in a similar circumstance as them. This challenge isn't present with their counterparts who have somali kids even though they're divorced as well. The more you venture out and learn through personal experience the trials, challenges others face the more your horizon iyo scope broadens.

It's because of that reason that many women opt to stay in abusive marriages because the alternative is far worse i know of cases where the husband does everything including sleeping with other women but despite of all this the wife refuses to leave the husband. Not everyone is emotionally strong nor capable of handling the pressure of being a divorcee with mixed kids. Some realise the challenges of such a marriage only after it breaks down and want to remarry again.

Divorced somali women with non somali kids seeking to marry a somali aren't a single group either as they're quite diverse but the ones i've come across the most tended to be young and had negative views of somali men. It's only after their marriages broke down that their views about somali men changed. Funny enough i've also met somali men who changed their views about somali women after their interracial marriage broke down. Seems like they married for the wrong reasons

Hada aan kuso gaabsho qomiyaada ninka iyo ciyaalka shay muhim ayey uu tahay dadka qarkood sidas darteed indha in aan wado is tirno waa laga fican yahay

I'm the least dishonest ? waa warey i feel privileged adiguna ? were you honest with your answers mise did the purist comments got the best of you ? which is it ? fadlaan ruunta ii sheeg

I'm speaking in general. As I said, I'm not seeing efforts from Somali women who've married out attempting to marry from the Somali community, and I've only seen once case of a Somali man marrying a divorced Somali woman with a mixed child, but it was one child and one ex marriage.

A woman with multiple marriages and kids from ex marriages doesn't find it easier for her children being full Somali. I'm amused with your attempt to paint some womens' marital woes and staying in a bad marriage due to fear of divorce and impending single-motherhood, which is a common phenomenon and a consideration a lot of ppl experience even if they eventually do divorce, as in any way specific to ajnabi marriages.

Young, single Somali mothers with 1-2 children are on the rise in the diaspora from these short-lived marriages we see around us, and the attitudes and conditions back home and in the older generation of marrying multiple divorcees is declining, along with the rapid decline of the quality and availability of marriageable Somali men to begin with, leaving even these once-married (once as in one time) women who've a couple of full Somali children in a loop, to the point some of them you'll see who've married Somali first and ajnabi second for not being able to find suitable Somali men, forget about those with multiple children from multiple marriages.

 

[Nightline Kid]

There is no difference if you're white, black, arab, chinese.

You misunderstood. If you polled the majority of the Somali community and asked which would be the worst they'd all say black. That's a fact. In the Sonali community there are levels to ajnabi relationships. Are they generally looked down on? Yes, but you can't deny that a Somali would prefer for their daughter to go with an Arab than a madow

 

[Prince of Lasanod]

You misunderstood. If you polled the majority of the Somali community and asked which would be the worst they'd all say black. That's a fact. In the Sonali community there are levels to ajnabi relationships. Are they generally looked down on? Yes, but you can't deny that a Somali would prefer for their daughter to go with an Arab than a madow

Do you mean like Somali mothers? In that case, I guess you're right.

But to Somali guys, it won't make a difference if your children are dhegocas or madow, they wouldn't marry a woman who was married to an ajnaabi.

 

[Nightline Kid]

Do you mean like Somali mothers? In that case, I guess you're right.

But to me Somali guys, it won't make a difference if your children are dhegocas or madow, they wouldn't marry a woman who was married to an ajnaabi.

Mostly Somali mothers, yeah. And again, I never disagreed with the fact that a Somali guy is highly unlikely to marry a Somali woman who was with a ajnabi, I was saying that though ajnabi marriages are looked down in general, in the eyes of many Somalis in madows are viewed as the worst ajnabi to marry.

 

[Hades]

Interesting that you make this argument while @:333 made the exact opposite argument(I can't marry my own because I love them too much).

Warya stop putting words into my mouth I never even posted on this thread

it's nice to know you're thinking about me though

 

[SuldaanGuled]

I'm speaking in general. As I said, I'm not seeing efforts from Somali women who've married out attempting to marry from the Somali community, and I've only seen once case of a Somali man marrying a divorced Somali woman with a mixed child, but it was one child and one ex marriage.

A woman with multiple marriages and kids from ex marriages doesn't find it easier for her children being full Somali. I'm amused with your attempt to paint some womens' marital woes and staying in a bad marriage due to fear of divorce and impending single-motherhood, which is a common phenomenon and a consideration a lot of ppl experience even if they eventually do divorce, as in any way specific to ajnabi marriages.

Young, single Somali mothers with 1-2 children are on the rise in the diaspora from these short-lived marriages we see around us, and the attitudes and conditions back home and in the older generation of marrying multiple divorcees is declining, along with the rapid decline of the quality and availability of marriageable Somali men to begin with, leaving even these once-married (once as in one time) women who've a couple of full Somali children in a loop, to the point some of them you'll see who've married Somali first and ajnabi second for not being able to find a suitable Somali men, forget about those with multiple children from multiple marriages.

Maybe you haven't but i have both in norway and now in the uk it exists. When you say they don't find it easier on what basis are you saying this ? from encounters with such women if so how many ? or is it based on your own rationalization ? i used to volunteer at my local masjid and this is how i was exposed to this issue all together. If anyone should be amused it should be me considering your refusal to accept reality on the ground.

If we disregard the so called "purist" statements most male users including me will always choose a divorced somali woman with somali kids over a divorced somali woman with non somali kids. This fact is also true for majority of somali men elsewhere now you can choose to deny this all you want laakin it doesn't change anything. If you've male relatives ask them Equally true is the fact that majority of somali men aniga xataa will always choose a woman who has never been married over one that has been divorced with kids.

We need to look at the reasons why men esp our generations aren't willing to marry more than 1 wife & also what are the main causes that lead to increase of single mothers without addressing the actual reasons then there's no way of finding solutions. If there's a rapid decline of the quality and availability of marriageable somali men then the opposite is equally true wouldn't you agree ? Shifting the blame on somali men isn't going to solve anything as the issue is much bigger than this. Mar walba ragga khaladka ma leh ?? waa maya ee taalo cusub keen ina adeer


It's about time that we started to collectively come up with better solutions and ways of dealing with our internal problems instead of blaming it solely on men. Questions is are we ready for it ? are we willing to go beyond our own self bias and deal with issues accordingly ?

 

[Canuck]

You misunderstood. If you polled the majority of the Somali community and asked which would be the worst they'd all say black. That's a fact. In the Sonali community there are levels to ajnabi relationships. Are they generally looked down on? Yes, but you can't deny that a Somali would prefer for their daughter to go with an Arab than a madow

Somalis don't main the Arab man marrying their daughters because two major tribes claim the story of Arab man marrying Somali girl.

 

[Ferrari]

Warya stop putting words into my mouth I never even posted on this thread

it's nice to know you're thinking about me though

sorry man/woman. I was supposed to tag @4444.

 

[Jubba_Man]

If a man has no dhiig and is considering this, he should at least think about the state of his future children. Imagine the unspeakable abuse this woman would unleash on his future sons and daughters, and openly favor the other ones to spite them, you, and your heritage. Think about the children.

 

[Nightline Kid]

Somalis don't main the Arab man marrying their daughters because two major tribes claim the story of Arab man marrying Somali girl.

True

 

[VixR]

Maybe you haven't but i have both in norway and now in the uk it exists. When you say they don't find it easier on what basis are you saying this ? from encounters with such women if so how many ? or is it based on your own rationalization ? i used to volunteer at my local masjid and this is how i was exposed to this issue all together. If anyone should be amused it should be me considering your refusal to accept reality on the ground.

If we disregard the so called "purist" statements most male users including me will always choose a divorced somali woman with somali kids over a divorced somali woman with non somali kids. This fact is also true for majority of somali men elsewhere now you can choose to deny this all you want laakin it doesn't change anything. If you've male relatives ask them Equally true is the fact that majority of somali men aniga xataa will always choose a woman who has never been married over one that has been divorced with kids.

We need to look at the reasons why men esp our generations aren't willing to marry more than 1 wife & also what are the main causes that lead to increase of single mothers without addressing the actual reasons then there's no way of finding solutions. If there's a rapid decline of the quality and availability of marriageable somali men then the opposite is equally true wouldn't you agree ? Shifting the blame on somali men isn't going to solve anything as the issue is much bigger than this. Mar walba ragga khaladka ma leh ?? waa maya ee taalo cusub keen ina adeer


It's about time that we started to collectively come up with better solutions and ways of dealing with our internal problems instead of blaming it solely on men. Questions is are ready for it ? are we willing to go beyond our own self bias and deal with issues accordingly ?

It doesn't matter if as a purist, you'd hypothetically chose the Somali woman with multiple ex marriages and full Somali children over the same Somali woman with mixed children as random thought experiment on some obscure forum, bc irl you'd actively choose neither, and in reality things are no easier for the former over the latter.

The bit about the average person preferring a previously non-married spouse without kids goes without saying, and I dont need to survey my 'male relatives' to know that. It's overwhelmingly true for the vast majority of people, male and female, pretty across the board, and that does something to support my assertion, if you'll notice.

I'm not shifting the blame on Somali men. It takes two to tango and oftentimes these couples are immature and not well-settled financially. They start to have kids before they're ready for them in volatile situations, and marry solely to fulfill sexual urges without carefully vouching for the future parent of their children. However, its an indisputable fact that the market is skewed, and there is a huge disparity between marriageable and available Somali women and their male counterparts.

I find it strange though very amusing that "more than one wifeuu' is your immediate solution to the issue and what you're mourning above all else

You fail to be realistic.