The gender wars are a reoccurring theme on this forum. I made my views known before, but I'd like to elaborate them a bit more. It's no secret that a lot of Somali girls in the West have a low opinion of Somali men, with some even preferring to be with an ajanabi. Understandably this bothers us Somali men on a visceral level since men are naturally averse to the idea of their women pairing up with a foreign man. But the questions still remain, why do so many Somali girls hold us in low esteem and why are some of them so enamored with the idea of getting with an ajanabi? Here is why I think this is the case.
Women and In-group loyalty
Before I get into the reasons, I think it's important to understand that the concept of loyalty to the in-group is a foreign concept to women. This is why it's usually only the men of any ethnic group who condemn ajanabi marriages and women always seem perplexed and disturbed by what they see as our irrational 'jealousy', 'insecurity' and 'entitlement'. Women, fundamentally, are only loyal to two things, the well-being of themselves and their offspring. If they view these objectives to be better-served by an ajanabi man then so be it. They may give lip-service to the transcendental and masculine ideal of loyalty to ones people and homeland in the right conditions, but that all flies out the window if they can get a better deal elsewhere. We can't blame women for this, it's how they were designed by God.
Reason #1 Social Status imbalance
In the West women, for various reasons which I won't go into here, are now generally more educated than men and also outpacing them in white-collar employment. This phenomenon is even more pronounced in the Somali community. Since women are hypergamous and ideally only marry up (sometimes across, but never down) the social status hierarchy, Somali girls have a small pool of eligible Somali bachelors who they would even consider. Through their credentials, which many Somali guys can't match, they have essentially priced themselves out of the marriage market. This is one reason Somali girls are not feeling us but it's not the only reason. If being highly educated and having lucrative careers were enough to win the adoration of your women Asian men would have the most loyal women in the world, but instead their women are literally cucking them into oblivion with cadaan guys. So status in the form of education and career is a necessary but not a sufficient condition to win the respect and loyalty of ones women.
Reason #2 Looks
Prior to entering the workforce in droves in the 1960's most women in the West looked for and married men who would be successful bread winners for their families. Looks were a plus but not a major requirement. But now that women work and make their own money they are much more selective in the looks category. This helps to explain why Asian men are doing so poorly with their own women and all women in general. They have no facial aesthetics to speak of and are generally short. The average Indian man does poorly with women as well as a result of sub-par looks. Somali men luckily range in facial attractiveness from average to good looking to handsome. I grew up with over 30 Somali guys and wallahi maybe only two or three were genuinely ugly. What kills the physical appeal of Somali guys is our bodies. Too many of us are either super skinny or just fat and soft all over. In the West we're in competition with men from all over the world. Who do you think the Somali girl in your uni class is gonna be attracted to, you the Somali guy with a decent face but is at risk of being carried off by the wind, or the white or madow guy with the decent face and solid masculine body? Luckily it's fixable and just requires some dedication in the gym.
Reason #3 Image
Another reason Somali girls ain't feeling us is because of our image problem in the West. In Canada where I'm from when you think of young Somali males you think of rappers, trappers (drug dealers) and killers. Our name has become synonymous with criminality and brazen violence. Some ratchet and ghetto Somali girls like these type of guys, but respectable and more classy Somali girls rightfully view them as losers and scum. These girls, many of whom have already been let down and disappointed by their fathers, end up swearing off or at the very least looking down on Somali guys because of these gangsters. But blacks in Canada and the US are just as criminal, if not more, yet it seems like many Somali girls and women of other races are more willing to view them as an individual and refrain from stigmatizing them. This is no coincidence, and it leads me to my last reason.
Reason #4 Media
Though black men do suffer from some social stigma they don't have it as bad as Somalis as a result of their heavy presence in the media. Blacks have hundreds, if not thousands, of well known singers, talk show hosts, musicians, actors and superstar athletes. Nowadays when most women of any race including Western Somalis girls see a decent looking and fairly well-dressed madow guy they are more likely to overlook the stigma because it's overpowered by the positive image madows have garnered through their media presence. When they see the type of black guy I just described they're subconsciously connecting them with a certain archetype and names like Edris Elba or Trey Songs come to mind. When they see a decent looking and well dressed Somali guy no positive connections or archetypes come to mind. Instead the stigma, which madows can evade, rears its ugly head and the woman is probably thinking of pirates or al-shabaab or some shit like that lol. This also explains why some Somali girls would demand more from a Somali guy than a black guy when it comes to meher and the wedding, even though the black community is even more degenerate and dysfunctional than the Somali one; it's because they subconsciously hold us in lower esteem than madows since we Somali don't have our own versions of Chris Brown, Will Smith and Barack Obama. Women are very malleable and susceptible to the influence of media messages. It's no wonder that so many Somali girls, some of them on this forum, are pining for Korean men ever since K-pop and Korean movies took off. White men are the biggest beneficiaries of the media, because we all know the average cadaan guy looks nothing like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, yet those are the images that come to mind for women when they think 'white men'.
The days when patriarchy could enforce the loyalty of women are long gone. Welcome to the brave new world of liberated women, where all that matters is status, looks, and image/appeal.
Women and In-group loyalty
Before I get into the reasons, I think it's important to understand that the concept of loyalty to the in-group is a foreign concept to women. This is why it's usually only the men of any ethnic group who condemn ajanabi marriages and women always seem perplexed and disturbed by what they see as our irrational 'jealousy', 'insecurity' and 'entitlement'. Women, fundamentally, are only loyal to two things, the well-being of themselves and their offspring. If they view these objectives to be better-served by an ajanabi man then so be it. They may give lip-service to the transcendental and masculine ideal of loyalty to ones people and homeland in the right conditions, but that all flies out the window if they can get a better deal elsewhere. We can't blame women for this, it's how they were designed by God.
Reason #1 Social Status imbalance
In the West women, for various reasons which I won't go into here, are now generally more educated than men and also outpacing them in white-collar employment. This phenomenon is even more pronounced in the Somali community. Since women are hypergamous and ideally only marry up (sometimes across, but never down) the social status hierarchy, Somali girls have a small pool of eligible Somali bachelors who they would even consider. Through their credentials, which many Somali guys can't match, they have essentially priced themselves out of the marriage market. This is one reason Somali girls are not feeling us but it's not the only reason. If being highly educated and having lucrative careers were enough to win the adoration of your women Asian men would have the most loyal women in the world, but instead their women are literally cucking them into oblivion with cadaan guys. So status in the form of education and career is a necessary but not a sufficient condition to win the respect and loyalty of ones women.
Reason #2 Looks
Prior to entering the workforce in droves in the 1960's most women in the West looked for and married men who would be successful bread winners for their families. Looks were a plus but not a major requirement. But now that women work and make their own money they are much more selective in the looks category. This helps to explain why Asian men are doing so poorly with their own women and all women in general. They have no facial aesthetics to speak of and are generally short. The average Indian man does poorly with women as well as a result of sub-par looks. Somali men luckily range in facial attractiveness from average to good looking to handsome. I grew up with over 30 Somali guys and wallahi maybe only two or three were genuinely ugly. What kills the physical appeal of Somali guys is our bodies. Too many of us are either super skinny or just fat and soft all over. In the West we're in competition with men from all over the world. Who do you think the Somali girl in your uni class is gonna be attracted to, you the Somali guy with a decent face but is at risk of being carried off by the wind, or the white or madow guy with the decent face and solid masculine body? Luckily it's fixable and just requires some dedication in the gym.
Reason #3 Image
Another reason Somali girls ain't feeling us is because of our image problem in the West. In Canada where I'm from when you think of young Somali males you think of rappers, trappers (drug dealers) and killers. Our name has become synonymous with criminality and brazen violence. Some ratchet and ghetto Somali girls like these type of guys, but respectable and more classy Somali girls rightfully view them as losers and scum. These girls, many of whom have already been let down and disappointed by their fathers, end up swearing off or at the very least looking down on Somali guys because of these gangsters. But blacks in Canada and the US are just as criminal, if not more, yet it seems like many Somali girls and women of other races are more willing to view them as an individual and refrain from stigmatizing them. This is no coincidence, and it leads me to my last reason.
Reason #4 Media
Though black men do suffer from some social stigma they don't have it as bad as Somalis as a result of their heavy presence in the media. Blacks have hundreds, if not thousands, of well known singers, talk show hosts, musicians, actors and superstar athletes. Nowadays when most women of any race including Western Somalis girls see a decent looking and fairly well-dressed madow guy they are more likely to overlook the stigma because it's overpowered by the positive image madows have garnered through their media presence. When they see the type of black guy I just described they're subconsciously connecting them with a certain archetype and names like Edris Elba or Trey Songs come to mind. When they see a decent looking and well dressed Somali guy no positive connections or archetypes come to mind. Instead the stigma, which madows can evade, rears its ugly head and the woman is probably thinking of pirates or al-shabaab or some shit like that lol. This also explains why some Somali girls would demand more from a Somali guy than a black guy when it comes to meher and the wedding, even though the black community is even more degenerate and dysfunctional than the Somali one; it's because they subconsciously hold us in lower esteem than madows since we Somali don't have our own versions of Chris Brown, Will Smith and Barack Obama. Women are very malleable and susceptible to the influence of media messages. It's no wonder that so many Somali girls, some of them on this forum, are pining for Korean men ever since K-pop and Korean movies took off. White men are the biggest beneficiaries of the media, because we all know the average cadaan guy looks nothing like Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp, yet those are the images that come to mind for women when they think 'white men'.
The days when patriarchy could enforce the loyalty of women are long gone. Welcome to the brave new world of liberated women, where all that matters is status, looks, and image/appeal.
