So I am 32 years woman old pushing 33 soon.

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Peache

Taij4an said:
I understand u enjoy your solitude but the only experience you have had with marriage is a negative and toxic one, so in your mind you would even project that experience to a potentially good marriage that may be awaiting you and deny it due to your past traumas, u should still keep open minded
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Taij4an said:
I understand u enjoy your solitude but the only experience you have had with marriage is a negative and toxic one, so in your mind you would even project that experience to a potentially good marriage that may be awaiting you and deny it due to your past traumas, u should still keep open minded
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I don’t have any trauma from my past marriage which was years and years ago. I wish my ex husband the best and don’t wish any bad on him.

I actually hope he gets a wonderful wife and more children.

Why do men assume that we ex wives have trauma and hatred from our ex husbands when we wish to stay single?

I am very open minded, but a lot of men don’t understand that single women out here go through a lot of sexual harassment from married men and get bothered by them, and when we complain to their wives, the wife will blame us lol and beileve her husband and think we went after them?
 
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Peache

Amina99 said:
I didn’t say from my husband. I have had mutiple married men step to me and bother me and have had so many men ask me to be a second or third wife. I’ve seen so many husbands out here cheat on their wives.
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And I wouldn’t project that to any other person. Please don’t assume that. I am actually so blessed to have moved on from the experience of what happened to me, whereas I know other women who still hold on to what happened to them during their previous marriage.
 
T

Taij4an

Amina99 said:
I don’t have any trauma from my past marriage which was years and years ago. I wish my ex husband the best and don’t wish any bad on him.

I actually hope he gets a wonderful wife and more children.

Why do men assume that we ex wives have trauma and hatred when we wish to stay single ?
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from ur stories of marriage anyone would be in trauma from that it sounded like hell
 
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Peache

Taij4an said:
from ur stories of marriage anyone would be in trauma from that it sounded like hell
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Lol I understand that, but through prayer and dua and lots of healing I have moved on from it and forgave those who played a part into it.
I’ve had women get shocked when I say I hope my ex husband finds love with his new wife, and has healthy and wonderful children.
 
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Taij4an

Amina99 said:
Lol I understand that, but through prayer and dua and lots of healing I have moved on from it and forgave those who played a part into it.
I’ve had women get shocked when I say I hope my ex husband finds love with his new wife, and has healthy and wonderful children.
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Mashaallah you have a very clean heart if you can forgive and forget.
But would u seriously never want to get married in ur life again,
 
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Peache

Sheikh Kulkuli said:
90% of divorce in somali community is because of inlaws interference.
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Mine was arranged and it had nothing to do with the in laws. We were both young and living in different parts of the world and he didn’t even contact me throughout the whole marriage. Only for money. His family also wanted a passport for him and them, and revealed the whole plan.

Even when me and his child was sick, no contact and ignored and he wanted me to be the breadwinner if he came, and he wanted multiple wives, and to bring his best friend to marry and live with us … imagine your sister being pregnant and having a baby, while her husband completely ignores her, only calls for money, and eventually ghosts her for an entire year …

Sometimes it always isn’t the in laws.
 
Abdisamad

Abdisamad

VIP
Amina99 said:
Mine was arranged and it had nothing to do with the in laws. We were both young and living in different parts of the world and he didn’t even contact me throughout the whole marriage. Only for money. His family also wanted a passport for him and them, revealed the whole plan. Even when me and his child was sick, no contact and ignored and he wanted me to be the breadwinner if he came, and he wanted multiple wives, and to bring his best friend to marry and live with us … imagine your sister being pregnant and having a baby, while her husband completely ignores her, only calls for money, and eventually ghosts her for an entire year …

Sometimes it always isn’t the in laws.
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Thats really sad... Good thing you are strong enough to go through that harsh phase of your life
 
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Peache

Taij4an said:
Mashaallah you have a very clean heart if you can forgive and forget.
But would u seriously never want to get married in ur life again,
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Of course. Why hold on to anger and not learn from it and then you can’t move on ? You then put that anger on other innocent people who come into your life and that’s not fair.

And I would. But only the man has a good heart, good deen, and we mentally connect. He also has to be great looking with a great body, as I need to be attracted to him not just mentally but physically.
I take care of myslef and go to gym, and only think it’s fair my further man goes to gym as well.
If I can’t find that, I’m good being alone.

Maybe I should’ve worded it like that in the first comment lol.
 
Sheikh Google

Sheikh Google

Sophisticate said:
You will never feel desperate for a husband. That will only happen if you start to lose your shine. Never let yourself go.

But a man is worth at least financially using for a second income and children. I have some Abdis in my back pocket who are decent enough prospects and appear to be receptive to me. :duckr:I still got it. As long as I have a kid before 40 I'm good, I'A.
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You need to stop this... You know exactly what you're doing and guess what it's working...
 
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Taij4an

Sophisticate said:
You will never feel desperate for a husband. That will only happen if you start to lose your shine. Never let yourself go.

But a man is worth at least financially using for a second income and children. I have some Abdis in my back pocket who are decent enough prospects and appear to be receptive to me. :duckr:I still got it. As long as I have a kid before 40 I'm good, I'A.
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Feel sorry for those men.
 
Ladylike

Ladylike

Sophisticate said:
You will never feel desperate for a husband. That will only happen if you start to lose your shine. Never let yourself go.

But a man is worth at least financially using for a second income and children. I have some Abdis in my back pocket who are decent enough prospects and appear to be receptive to me. :duckr:I still got it. As long as I have a kid before 40 I'm good, I'A.
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You go girl🥰🥰
 
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Peache

Ladylike said:
In 2 years I will be traveling the world I can’t wait🥰
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Tbh, that’s my only and biggest regret is that I didn’t get to fulfill my dreams of travelling the worldespecially Europe. I would have to wait until my child much older to probably do that.
I still have hope I can do that while still young, inshaAllah.
 
Ladylike

Ladylike

Amina99 said:
I didn’t say from my husband. I have had mutiple married men step to me and bother me and have had so many men ask me to be a second or third wife. I’ve seen so many husbands out here cheat on their wives.
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I have been turned off by married men trying to shukansi me. They ruined it for me lol I am so happy I can take my life anywhere I want without worrying about what my husband thinks. I will get married the right time and for the right reasons. I want to be able to be mentally freed even if it doesn’t work out. I don’t want to be on TikTok bad mouthing an ex or constantly crying over a man. A man will do what he wants to due whether he loves you or not. I want to enjoy my life within the means of Islam iA
 
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