Should I marry a rape victim, or nah? (need advice come in plz)

[Hemaal]

I heard lots of stories. Their parents protect them. I would say we need al kabaab in Somaliland the way things are going

Bro you're right. I say castrate them, these filthy pigs shouldn't be shown any sort of mercy. Similar story happened to me in hargeisa last year, My friend used to work with Mardojiex regional court and 2 weeks before i have got to known this bright, beautiful girl who studied Golis Uni and someday while we were chewing he asked me to write a court report for him since i type fast. Somewhere down the report a name comes up similar to the girl's name of a rape case in 150ka, i thought to myself maybe it's just a coincidence and kept writing, then comes where she lived & studied. At this point i got paranoid so i decide to go out and ring her number to see how she's doing and there was no answer.
I kept calling to check up on her but her phone was off for a 2 weeks and eventually i realized it was her. Its very common back home sxb, we need severe punishments, 7 years isn't gonna cut it. They're ruining lives.

 

[Hafez]

i like dis

Lol you can have it sxb.

 

[Sixth]

Lol you can have it sxb.

Are you trying to create a cult sxb?

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[Hafez]

Are you trying to create a cult sxb?

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Yhyh you're recruited bradar.

 

[Sixth]

Yhyh you're recruited bradar.

 

[waraabe]

I'm sorry to hear that. If that's the case, I can't imagine, and I don't think I want to know.

I was working for a well known ngo and we went to Hargeisas main prison which the ngo was funding skill teaching for the inmates. There we saw gangs of youth in the prison arrested for rape.

Furthermore more I heard someone say some of the younger inmates were being sexually abused in prison and that is why the ngo wants to create young offenders only institutions

 

[Bahal]

I'm lost for words.

 

[Canuck]

5th month running since I left the UK for the motherland, tbh, nothing really surprised me as much as the frequency of rape. Here in Arabsiyo, I know nearly most of the dhalinyaro (youth), and I only found out recently that the majority of them are rapists who spend time planning on how to get such and such a girl out of her house at night and to gang rape her.

This girl I've been talking to for a month or so, let's say her name is Xalimo, Xalimo is 18, she's pretty, young, and has a bubbly personality, I always went past her front door but never really paid any attention until one day her younger brothers were yelling my name, and as I walked by she said "Play with the children, xaasidyahow". I responded with " They are not my brothers!". She laughed and said " Labadiinu, waan is raacindoona", "Halkee?" I said, "Meelkasta". So I went off and thought, ok, probably should get her number some other day and proceed with this.

One of the youths that I know came up to me that night and said " Waryaa, ma dhilada ayey maanta kula hadashey?", I was surprised and asked him why would he call her that, he then says that she's a hoe and that I will ruin my family name if I was seen with her.

Next day I walk past her and she calls out to me and says kaalay, I stand infront of her and she asks why was I intentionally ignoring her, I said (paraphrasing), "after hearing things about you, I don't understand what film your playing at me, but the truth is, I don't want to risk ruining my family name". She says "ok" and goes into her house,

Fast forward a few days a friend of mine who's friends with her brother, and who often goes in and out of their house comes up to me at duhr while I was resting under the shade, and says " I've never known someone she wants as much as you breh, she was blaming me for making you hate her. Dude, she wrote the initial 'N' on her hand, she told me that the day you rejected her, she slept and skipped all of her meals, she wants you breh, just give her your number"

I was like... ok, so I gave her my number, and we began talking over the phone, one of my cousins who I spend most of my time with saw her name on my phonebook and began yellin' " Are you crazy!? do you think your family will accept a hoe!? the f*ck is wrong with you" I went off thinking the entire day, "they are probably right she's probably playing me for that qurbajoog money"..

So I rejected her calls and the next morning decided to pick up and yelled at her " Hadaad Ilaahi garanaysid, aniga iyo telefoonkaygi amaan ii sii, halis wayn baad ii galisay, naga tag". I then went on to behave as if I never knew her, but I heard disturbing reports of self-harm on that same day, of her drinking something, and cutting her hand.

So I spoke to one of my cousins who came from London and is in hargeisa, who's a female, for some advice, she convinced me that she wasn't a hoe and maybe is called one for being seen talking to guys outside her doorstep.

I thought, well I was wrong for yelling at her after being influenced by the views by X,Y and Z.. so I called her and comforted her, and asked her if she drank anything dangerous... she said it's all lies but she cut her palm with a knife, I was very disturbed by this tbh..

For the next couple of days I kept our relationship under the rug, knowing that the society here is fucking outrageous with gossip, until one day, my cousin who told me that she was a hoe saw her number calling me, I was absent bear in mind. When I came in he said, " Didn't I tell you she was a hoe?" "Nine guys went into her, she's a " I told him who told him that? He said "Do you want me to call 7 out of 9 of the guys?" This is when I thought, hold up, this chick was raped by nine guys, and this is the reason why she's labelled a hoe..

At first I was confused and angry, the way my cousin put it, I had thoughts of her intentionally going into that, but after being alone for 48 hours and thinking, and at night praying to God for a clarification in this situation, I spoke to my female cousin who flew in from London. She as a girl said that she doesn't think for the slightest that any girl would get into that, so I then went to my uncles wife who knows the girl and she said that nine guys raped her, and that the guy who lured her went to her house at 8 PM and said " saxibadaada bey ku dooneysa tukaan bey joogta" so she got dressed and as she was going to the shop he then said she's on the main road , when she went there the other 8 were there and they formed a circle and took her to the doox (dry river bed) at night and raped her there, she said she was puking for 2 days and doesn't feel safe to leave home since...

When I heard this I thought should I just leave her and don't talk to her, or should I come clean with my thoughts... So I called her last night at 10 PM, after rejected her calls for 2 days, and when she picked up the phone she said why was I blanking her, "waad ii nacday, iska tag.." etc.. I said "I've been thinking for the last 48 hours about what I was told..." and she said "what?" and I said "you know that thing that happened to you that ruined your name and rep" she said "maxaad ka hadlaysa?" and then I said "I'm shocked at the culture here, and furious at it, youths go around destroying the lives of young women and their families, while they have nothing to fear of, I was told 9 men raped you.. I was told this because it was meant to convince me that you are a hoe, but this only made me more angry, how could I make sense of this? How is it that you have to suffer this while they go and plan to do the same to another girl, do they not see you women as human beings, what girl would ask for a crime like that to be done to her?

As I was talking I could hear her crying as she was saying " haa" after every statement I made, this absolutely closed the case for me that she was gang raped, I changed the convo thereafter, and we spoke for a good 40 mins, me telling her that I'm moving to hargeisa and that I will contact her there, and that hopefully this relationship will end up being marriage because tbh, I did like her before I knew this, and I even brought her to my uncle's restauarant and bought her supper, but after hearing this, I only think of myself as being as bad as them rapists if I were to leave her because of the fact that she was 'raped', like as if it was her fault.


So should I marry her or nah?

(P.S, It happened in March, when I took her out for supper she was wearing a slim fit dress and there was no sign of pregnancy, and she doesn't look ill at all, but I will get her tested for HIV, but insha Allah she doesn't have it)

Her brother/ cousin should take gun and shoot these 9 men. Once we started killing rapists they will stop. Even the girls should carry guns and learn to defend themselves. Trust me, the raping will stop once we start shooting them. Girls stay in your homes. Stop going out behind your family to meet guys.

 

[Canuck]

also why the f*ck did u leave the UK to that shithole?

To make better place, it is shithole, but country which is suffering from post civil war and trying to build itself.

 

[Bernie Madoff]

Dont be surprised if she wants you to choke her neck and slap her face while having sexy time

 

[Hawkish]

Dont be surprised if she wants you to choke her neck and slap her face while having sexy time

Not funny G.

 

[Canuck]

Dont be surprised if she wants you to choke her neck and slap her face while having sexy time

 

[Bahal]

I still can't understand the third world logic of rape victim = hoe.

Also, if everyone already seems to know, why wouldn't the family report it? What's there to hide?

I'm more than certain those animals have and will rape again. How can a community tolerate known predators in their midst?

 

[Hawkish]

As for marrying the girl OP only you can answer that question - But her being previously raped should not be the only reason not to marry her as it obviously wasnt her fault. Screw what people think and gossip about - Yours and her happiness matters most. Hope God has a special place reserved for killers and rapists Ameen.

 

[Canuck]

I still can't understand the third world logic of rape victim = hoe.

Also, if everyone already seems to know, why wouldn't the family report it? What's there to hide?

I'm more than certain those animals have and will rape again. How can a community tolerate known predators in their midst?

Because they have money and pay for girl's family, they choose well their victims (poor, powerless tribe, have no government connection) girls must learn self defence and carry guns.

 

[BebsiBolice]

She was a human before she got raped and she's still a human being. Asking if you should marry a rape victim or not makes me believe you're in a covert way blaming and shaming her for the rape, when she's the innocent one.

If you love her then yes marry her if that's what you want but don't use something horrible that happened to her as a reason not the be with her.

 

[Gibiin-Udug]

This made my heart sink and I saw a tear rolling down.


Please please I beg of you, don't marry her out of pity. If you really like her and you feel there's a chemistry and you see yourself with her for 20, 30 years inshallah then yes marry her. It was not her fault that she got raped and those labeling her a should be ashamed of themselves, no wonder we Somalis are backwards, how can we name call the victim while protecting and letting the rapists roam free. Be the friend she needs, be patient with her. Good luck to everything Zayd.

 

[click-boom]

i fucking hate these garbage parents, they care more about what people would say then stop filthy savage cuntbag rapists.......

 

[Mercury]

i fucking hate these garbage parents, they care more about what people would say then stop filthy savage cuntbag rapists.......

It makes no sense to me

 

[Zayd]

I do like her tbh and made my mind up before knowing this, and my position didnt really change after finding out. Im not exaggerating when I say shes beautiful, and Im not marrying her out of pity, I asked her to marry me before all of this anyway..

Today she wanted me to walk by her window so she could see me, so I did and it was good to see her happy, Im just disturbed that predatory rapists casually walk around while the victim lives in hell, Im waiting for when I move to hargeisa and bring her there with me, the ties my pops has with the police commisioner and the army will then prove useful.

Just yesterday I was chewing (I dont chew all the time, just socially/occasionaly) with a group of youths. I took them to a spot outside of the town and bought their jaad for them, after we hit the mellow mirqaan one of them was telling me how he and another guy lured a girl to this very spot and raped her along with 10 other guys, after she phoned her brother, who works in a near by farm, he rushes to the scene and they beat him up too, they were laughing as they were telling me this. Then they said they need to look for another virgin to rape, I sat there thinking what the f*ck, Im at the point where now I only want to communicate with the other qurbajoogs here.