Zayd
Habar Magaadle
5th month running since I left the UK for the motherland, tbh, nothing really surprised me as much as the frequency of rape. Here in Arabsiyo, I know nearly most of the dhalinyaro (youth), and I only found out recently that the majority of them are rapists who spend time planning on how to get such and such a girl out of her house at night and to gang rape her.
This girl I've been talking to for a month or so, let's say her name is Xalimo, Xalimo is 18, she's pretty, young, and has a bubbly personality, I always went past her front door but never really paid any attention until one day her younger brothers were yelling my name, and as I walked by she said "Play with the children, xaasidyahow". I responded with " They are not my brothers!". She laughed and said " Labadiinu, waan is raacindoona", "Halkee?" I said, "Meelkasta". So I went off and thought, ok, probably should get her number some other day and proceed with this.
One of the youths that I know came up to me that night and said " Waryaa, ma dhilada ayey maanta kula hadashey?", I was surprised and asked him why would he call her that, he then says that she's a hoe and that I will ruin my family name if I was seen with her.
Next day I walk past her and she calls out to me and says kaalay, I stand infront of her and she asks why was I intentionally ignoring her, I said (paraphrasing), "after hearing things about you, I don't understand what film your playing at me, but the truth is, I don't want to risk ruining my family name". She says "ok" and goes into her house,
Fast forward a few days a friend of mine who's friends with her brother, and who often goes in and out of their house comes up to me at duhr while I was resting under the shade, and says " I've never known someone she wants as much as you breh, she was blaming me for making you hate her. Dude, she wrote the initial 'N' on her hand, she told me that the day you rejected her, she slept and skipped all of her meals, she wants you breh, just give her your number"
I was like... ok, so I gave her my number, and we began talking over the phone, one of my cousins who I spend most of my time with saw her name on my phonebook and began yellin' " Are you crazy!? do you think your family will accept a hoe!? the f*ck is wrong with you" I went off thinking the entire day, "they are probably right she's probably playing me for that qurbajoog money"..
So I rejected her calls and the next morning decided to pick up and yelled at her " Hadaad Ilaahi garanaysid, aniga iyo telefoonkaygi amaan ii sii, halis wayn baad ii galisay, naga tag". I then went on to behave as if I never knew her, but I heard disturbing reports of self-harm on that same day, of her drinking something, and cutting her hand.
So I spoke to one of my cousins who came from London and is in hargeisa, who's a female, for some advice, she convinced me that she wasn't a hoe and maybe is called one for being seen talking to guys outside her doorstep.
I thought, well I was wrong for yelling at her after being influenced by the views by X,Y and Z.. so I called her and comforted her, and asked her if she drank anything dangerous... she said it's all lies but she cut her palm with a knife, I was very disturbed by this tbh..
For the next couple of days I kept our relationship under the rug, knowing that the society here is fucking outrageous with gossip, until one day, my cousin who told me that she was a hoe saw her number calling me, I was absent bear in mind. When I came in he said, " Didn't I tell you she was a hoe?" "Nine guys went into her, she's a " I told him who told him that? He said "Do you want me to call 7 out of 9 of the guys?" This is when I thought, hold up, this chick was raped by nine guys, and this is the reason why she's labelled a hoe..
At first I was confused and angry, the way my cousin put it, I had thoughts of her intentionally going into that, but after being alone for 48 hours and thinking, and at night praying to God for a clarification in this situation, I spoke to my female cousin who flew in from London. She as a girl said that she doesn't think for the slightest that any girl would get into that, so I then went to my uncles wife who knows the girl and she said that nine guys raped her, and that the guy who lured her went to her house at 8 PM and said " saxibadaada bey ku dooneysa tukaan bey joogta" so she got dressed and as she was going to the shop he then said she's on the main road , when she went there the other 8 were there and they formed a circle and took her to the doox (dry river bed) at night and raped her there, she said she was puking for 2 days and doesn't feel safe to leave home since...
When I heard this I thought should I just leave her and don't talk to her, or should I come clean with my thoughts... So I called her last night at 10 PM, after rejected her calls for 2 days, and when she picked up the phone she said why was I blanking her, "waad ii nacday, iska tag.." etc.. I said "I've been thinking for the last 48 hours about what I was told..." and she said "what?" and I said "you know that thing that happened to you that ruined your name and rep" she said "maxaad ka hadlaysa?" and then I said "I'm shocked at the culture here, and furious at it, youths go around destroying the lives of young women and their families, while they have nothing to fear of, I was told 9 men raped you.. I was told this because it was meant to convince me that you are a hoe, but this only made me more angry, how could I make sense of this? How is it that you have to suffer this while they go and plan to do the same to another girl, do they not see you women as human beings, what girl would ask for a crime like that to be done to her?
As I was talking I could hear her crying as she was saying " haa" after every statement I made, this absolutely closed the case for me that she was gang raped, I changed the convo thereafter, and we spoke for a good 40 mins, me telling her that I'm moving to hargeisa and that I will contact her there, and that hopefully this relationship will end up being marriage because tbh, I did like her before I knew this, and I even brought her to my uncle's restauarant and bought her supper, but after hearing this, I only think of myself as being as bad as them rapists if I were to leave her because of the fact that she was 'raped', like as if it was her fault.
So should I marry her or nah?
(P.S, It happened in March, when I took her out for supper she was wearing a slim fit dress and there was no sign of pregnancy, and she doesn't look ill at all, but I will get her tested for HIV, but insha Allah she doesn't have it)
This girl I've been talking to for a month or so, let's say her name is Xalimo, Xalimo is 18, she's pretty, young, and has a bubbly personality, I always went past her front door but never really paid any attention until one day her younger brothers were yelling my name, and as I walked by she said "Play with the children, xaasidyahow". I responded with " They are not my brothers!". She laughed and said " Labadiinu, waan is raacindoona", "Halkee?" I said, "Meelkasta". So I went off and thought, ok, probably should get her number some other day and proceed with this.
One of the youths that I know came up to me that night and said " Waryaa, ma dhilada ayey maanta kula hadashey?", I was surprised and asked him why would he call her that, he then says that she's a hoe and that I will ruin my family name if I was seen with her.
Next day I walk past her and she calls out to me and says kaalay, I stand infront of her and she asks why was I intentionally ignoring her, I said (paraphrasing), "after hearing things about you, I don't understand what film your playing at me, but the truth is, I don't want to risk ruining my family name". She says "ok" and goes into her house,
Fast forward a few days a friend of mine who's friends with her brother, and who often goes in and out of their house comes up to me at duhr while I was resting under the shade, and says " I've never known someone she wants as much as you breh, she was blaming me for making you hate her. Dude, she wrote the initial 'N' on her hand, she told me that the day you rejected her, she slept and skipped all of her meals, she wants you breh, just give her your number"
I was like... ok, so I gave her my number, and we began talking over the phone, one of my cousins who I spend most of my time with saw her name on my phonebook and began yellin' " Are you crazy!? do you think your family will accept a hoe!? the f*ck is wrong with you" I went off thinking the entire day, "they are probably right she's probably playing me for that qurbajoog money"..
So I rejected her calls and the next morning decided to pick up and yelled at her " Hadaad Ilaahi garanaysid, aniga iyo telefoonkaygi amaan ii sii, halis wayn baad ii galisay, naga tag". I then went on to behave as if I never knew her, but I heard disturbing reports of self-harm on that same day, of her drinking something, and cutting her hand.
So I spoke to one of my cousins who came from London and is in hargeisa, who's a female, for some advice, she convinced me that she wasn't a hoe and maybe is called one for being seen talking to guys outside her doorstep.
I thought, well I was wrong for yelling at her after being influenced by the views by X,Y and Z.. so I called her and comforted her, and asked her if she drank anything dangerous... she said it's all lies but she cut her palm with a knife, I was very disturbed by this tbh..
For the next couple of days I kept our relationship under the rug, knowing that the society here is fucking outrageous with gossip, until one day, my cousin who told me that she was a hoe saw her number calling me, I was absent bear in mind. When I came in he said, " Didn't I tell you she was a hoe?" "Nine guys went into her, she's a " I told him who told him that? He said "Do you want me to call 7 out of 9 of the guys?" This is when I thought, hold up, this chick was raped by nine guys, and this is the reason why she's labelled a hoe..
At first I was confused and angry, the way my cousin put it, I had thoughts of her intentionally going into that, but after being alone for 48 hours and thinking, and at night praying to God for a clarification in this situation, I spoke to my female cousin who flew in from London. She as a girl said that she doesn't think for the slightest that any girl would get into that, so I then went to my uncles wife who knows the girl and she said that nine guys raped her, and that the guy who lured her went to her house at 8 PM and said " saxibadaada bey ku dooneysa tukaan bey joogta" so she got dressed and as she was going to the shop he then said she's on the main road , when she went there the other 8 were there and they formed a circle and took her to the doox (dry river bed) at night and raped her there, she said she was puking for 2 days and doesn't feel safe to leave home since...
When I heard this I thought should I just leave her and don't talk to her, or should I come clean with my thoughts... So I called her last night at 10 PM, after rejected her calls for 2 days, and when she picked up the phone she said why was I blanking her, "waad ii nacday, iska tag.." etc.. I said "I've been thinking for the last 48 hours about what I was told..." and she said "what?" and I said "you know that thing that happened to you that ruined your name and rep" she said "maxaad ka hadlaysa?" and then I said "I'm shocked at the culture here, and furious at it, youths go around destroying the lives of young women and their families, while they have nothing to fear of, I was told 9 men raped you.. I was told this because it was meant to convince me that you are a hoe, but this only made me more angry, how could I make sense of this? How is it that you have to suffer this while they go and plan to do the same to another girl, do they not see you women as human beings, what girl would ask for a crime like that to be done to her?
As I was talking I could hear her crying as she was saying " haa" after every statement I made, this absolutely closed the case for me that she was gang raped, I changed the convo thereafter, and we spoke for a good 40 mins, me telling her that I'm moving to hargeisa and that I will contact her there, and that hopefully this relationship will end up being marriage because tbh, I did like her before I knew this, and I even brought her to my uncle's restauarant and bought her supper, but after hearing this, I only think of myself as being as bad as them rapists if I were to leave her because of the fact that she was 'raped', like as if it was her fault.
So should I marry her or nah?
(P.S, It happened in March, when I took her out for supper she was wearing a slim fit dress and there was no sign of pregnancy, and she doesn't look ill at all, but I will get her tested for HIV, but insha Allah she doesn't have it)
