Should a man always pay for dates?

[empressjamila]

Had a little debate about this with a friend. I have a more traditional view where I think a man should pay for most of the dates if not all. Like if it’s his birthday or something like that yea go ahead and treat him but I just think a guy should pay most of the time as a way to show his appreciation. My friend has a different view where she feels they should split the bill or he pays once she pays next time. She says that way she doesn’t feel like she “owes him anything”. And she feels like it’s more equal.

What do you think?

 

[Khanderson]

This video will sums it up perfectly:

 

[Angelina]

This video will sums it up perfectly:

Doesn’t work in Somali context. The vast majority of Faraxs still expect to be the head of the household (nothing wrong with that) and even if he does help, the wife would be doing the bulk of the cooking and cleaning. Also, men and women simply aren’t equal. We go through more physical toil such as pregnancy and all the things that go with it. As a woman you need insurance that this man will step up during the times in which you’re vulnerable.

Anyways, to the ladies. Don’t expect a great man if he is out there making you pay. If we’re going to keep it real, you shouldn’t be dating dating, but even in a halal context the man is meant to pay when he sees you and your family. Believe me, if he makes you and your fam go halves ect your parents will be disgusted. Those types of men are simply stingy. A stingy man isn’t just stingy with his money, but also with this time, compliments and love. Avoid them.

Masculine men tend to like providing for women they’re serious about. The same men who advocate for 50/50 will also admit that if their dream woman was to walk through the door they’d 100% pay. That is why you can’t take them serious. Obviously, every relationship is different. We’re not talking about a man that can’t afford to give you certain things, but even those men will try and spoil you but within their means and range.

 

[empressjamila]

This video will sums it up perfectly:

He says he would treat the woman he’s with “like his best friend” but it’s not the same type of relationship. You’re not gonna marry or create a family with your homeboy.

I think the way I’ll do things is offer on second/third date..however if he accepts and expects me to pay my share from then on I’m out..it would be hard for me to see a guy like that as a romantic prospect, he would just be a friend

 

[Angelina]

He says he would treat the woman he’s with “like his best friend” but it’s not the same type of relationship. You’re not gonna marry or create a family with your homeboy.

I think the way I’ll do things is offer on second/third date to show I’m not trying to use him..however if he accepts and expects me to pay my share from then on I’m out..it would be hard for me to see a guy like that as a romantic prospect, he would just be a friend

Girl stop it. Any man that thinks you’re using him over a dinner you could pay 5 times over without having to endure his presence isn’t the type of man you want to be with. Men that think that way, scream cheap!

 

[Molotoff]

You girls are obsessed with these topics.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

He says he would treat the woman he’s with “like his best friend” but it’s not the same type of relationship. You’re not gonna marry or create a family with your homeboy.

I think the way I’ll do things is offer on second/third date..however if he accepts and expects me to pay my share from then on I’m out..it would be hard for me to see a guy like that as a romantic prospect, he would just be a friend

Listen bruh, I’m gonna give you some advice that will never do u wrong. First of all NEVER GO ON A DATE WITH A MAN THAT ISNT YOUR HUSBAND.

secondly imma a realist and I know xalimos aren’t gonna stop going on dates. Always pay your half of the bill. This how broads get sexually abused. These the types of situations girls be putting themselves in and they scream when shit happens to them. Not every dude is a “gentleman” some niggas expect something back.

Lafahaada ha ku qamaarin or in other words don’t gamble with your life.

 

[ForwardSweep]

I would say it depends. If you're dating some kind of feminist or a woman who doesn't believe in gender roles then the bill must be split. If the woman is the traditional type then the man should pay.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

Girl stop it. Any man that thinks you’re using him over a dinner you could pay 5 times over without having to endure his presence isn’t the type of man you want to be with. Men that think that way, scream cheap!

But niggas do get played tho. It’s hard out here for these single people. Look I love your idealistic views but it ain’t like that in the real world. You’re spoken for. How many years? Only God knows. But this girl’s friend is more realistic than her.

Don’t be surprised when a nigga slips something in your drink or locks the doors and unzips his pants after three dates expecting some play.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

 

[Angelina]

But niggas do get played tho. It’s hard out here for these single people. Look I love your idealistic views but it ain’t like that in the real world. You’re spoken for. How many years? Only God knows. But this girl’s friend is more realistic than her.

Don’t be surprised when a nigga slips something in your drink or locks the doors and unzips his pants after three dates expecting some play.

Don’t believe women should be seeing men that have not been vouched for. See Somali men that are well known by people that you know. Make sure it is public and before you see him have a few conversations to make sure that marriage is what he is after and that after a while he should come to the house and see your family.

 

[AllStarSaciid]

Don’t believe women should be seeing men that have not been vouched for. See Somali men that are well known by people that you know. Make sure it is public and before you see him have a few conversations to make sure that marriage is what he is after and that after a while he should come to the house and see your family.

yeah and that you should pay for your own meal.
Don’t forget that.


A culture in Somalia that I loved is guys actually go to the girl’s house if he wants to talk to her and spend time with her. We lost that practice in the west.

 

[Angelina]

yeah and that you should pay for your own meal.
Don’t forget that.


A culture in Somalia that I loved is guys actually go to the girl’s house if he wants to talk to her and spend time with her. We lost that practice in the west.

Nope, no decent guy will let you. Even within our culture, a friend that invites you will usually pay. Honestly, says a lot about a man’s character.

Before marrying a guy, usually he’ll meet your parents at a restaurant as well. Is this man going to try and split the bill with your family as well?

 

[AllStarSaciid]

Nope, no decent guy will let you. Even within our culture, a friend that invites you will usually pay. Honestly, says a lot about a man’s character.

Before marrying a guy, usually he’ll meet your parents at a restaurant as well. Is this man going to try and split the bill with your family as well?

Even if he doesn’t want you to pay You should for your own safety.

You’re already compromised going out with a man who isnt your mahram. I don’t care how “decent” he is.

Don’t gamble with ur life.

@empressjamila listen to your friend. She’s smart.

 

[NinWero]

I would never allow a woman to pay for me on the first couple of dates, I am old skool.

However, after a few dates, if she doesn't have the courtesy to pay for at least one date, I would raise an eyebrow? Could she be just using me? is she a gold digger?

 

[Hargeysa]

If you ask a woman out, you simply have to pay.

If you're already married, then your money is the family's money anyway, so it ultimately doesn't matter who pays.

 

[Sheikh Kulkuli]

Had a little debate about this with a friend. I have a more traditional view where I think a man should pay for most of the dates if not all. Like if it’s his birthday or something like that yea go ahead and treat him but I just think a guy should pay most of the time as a way to show his appreciation. My friend has a different view where she feels they should split the bill or he pays once she pays next time. She says that way she doesn’t feel like she “owes him anything”. And she feels like it’s more equal.

What do you think?

If a woman pays 4 ur date she is not interested and wa femenist iska ilali.

 

[Nilotic]

I would never allow a woman to pay for me on the first couple of dates, I am old skool.

However, after a few dates, if she doesn't have the courtesy to pay for at least one date, I would raise an eyebrow? Could she be just using me? is she a gold digger?

Are you a millionaire/billionaire?

If not, what gold could she be digging?

 

[World]

I pay for everything
You clean everything

 

[senor chang]

Yes yes YES